Women who don't accept male friend requests

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Replies

  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I have a couple males who sent me friend requests and I accepted them. Part of me feels kind of weird about it but I don't really have any pictures up that are revealing so it's not really that weird to me. if I put pictures of myself up in underwear to show progress i would feel weird having male friends, but at the same time, I'd be posting it on the internet. So it's kind of fair game.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    I have lots of male friends IRL and on Facebook. I like guys!
    But on here, I want to show off my hard work, I want to be comfortable doing so, and I also want my hubby to be comfortable with it.

    For example, I lift weights, eat a lot of calories, and have only lost 6 lbs in the past 5 months. If I posted progress pics where I was clothed, you wouldn't be able to tell much of a difference. BUT comparison pics in a thong--now you can see a big difference! I want to encourage the ladies that it's not all about the numbers on the scale, but I don't want to show off my booty to the guys.
    Make sense?
  • FireTigerSoul
    FireTigerSoul Posts: 268 Member
    I usually check to see if they have male and female friends on their profile already. Too often I've received requests from men who ONLY have women as friends on their profile, and to be honest...that creeps me out. :/ I don't accept those requests.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    The reason I don't accept male friend requests is something you hit on- the progress pics i've taken have been so helpful to me in seeing my progress but i don't feel comfortable having others guys look at and comment on my body. I'm engaged and i know 1. my fiancee wouldn't be comfortable with it either and 2. he is extremely supportive and always gives me feedback, constructive criticism, and encouragement. Also, men and women are SO different in what they need to train. I read forums and blogs so i do see good advice but i like to talk with women so i can relate.
    If i get a male friend request, which is not frequent, i send a polite message explaining why i won't accept and wish them luck and offer encouragement. I have always gotten nice and respectful messages back so it's not really those men i'm guarding against. Just a little more cautious although anything on the internet is pretty public these days...

    Yah might wanna make yer profile more private then. Yer picz are very visible.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    Some of these women have had bad experiences with men on the site. You must never have met the man who will offer to send you pictures of his bits after you accept his request.
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    Or it could be that they girls want to talk about girly matters like TOM and feel more comfortable when it's all girls. I read that on someone's profile so that's another reason.

    I guess that's an obvious reason, but it didn't really occur to me. I'm an engineering student, so I'm constantly surrounded by guys, and therefore I have no shame at all about saying pretty much anything about my TOM in front of my guy friends. That's probably not a good thing, but hey, I have to b**** to someone, right
  • ccmccoy09
    ccmccoy09 Posts: 284 Member
    I have lots of great guy friends on MFP. BUT, I remember when I first got on here, my first set of friends were females - I think I was just trying to keep myself honest - just like how I suck my gut in when I'm around my guy friends, but don't even think about that stuff when I'm hanging out with my girls. I was thinking that if I was friends with guys, I wouldn't want to log all the cookies I stuffed my face with or anything that was unattractive...

    Me too. I didn't specifically say "no dudes" but I only added women at first. I couldn't put my finger on why but this is totally it. You have to lay yourself pretty bare if you're going to be serious about weight loss.
  • niffydee
    niffydee Posts: 11 Member
    I am sure people have many different reasons and it really shouldn't bother anyone.
    It's perfectly within their rights.
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    Some of these women have had bad experiences with men on the site. You must never have met the man who will offer to send you pictures of his bits after you accept his request.

    :O Nope, I can't say I've ever had that happen, not on mfp anyway!
  • fit_kitty
    fit_kitty Posts: 2
    I don't have male friends because I don't think men would understand the situation I'm in. Plus they all attach messages that say **** like "hey qt" or something else stupid. Men, tsk tsk.
  • DFWTT
    DFWTT Posts: 374
    Been on the site for a couple of months now and as far as I can tell, most of the guys are ignored anyway so this is of little importance.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    The reason I don't accept male friend requests is something you hit on- the progress pics i've taken have been so helpful to me in seeing my progress but i don't feel comfortable having others guys look at and comment on my body. I'm engaged and i know 1. my fiancee wouldn't be comfortable with it either and 2. he is extremely supportive and always gives me feedback, constructive criticism, and encouragement. Also, men and women are SO different in what they need to train. I read forums and blogs so i do see good advice but i like to talk with women so i can relate.
    If i get a male friend request, which is not frequent, i send a polite message explaining why i won't accept and wish them luck and offer encouragement. I have always gotten nice and respectful messages back so it's not really those men i'm guarding against. Just a little more cautious although anything on the internet is pretty public these days...
    Yah might wanna make yer profile more private then. Yer picz are very visible.
    SHHHHHHHHHH! I HAVEN"T SAVED THEM ALL YET!
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    I am sure people have many different reasons and it really shouldn't bother anyone.
    It's perfectly within their rights.

    You're right, and personally it doesn't bother me at all. People can accept whoever they want to. I just couldn't think of a valid reason that would make me want to never accept friend requests from guys. So I just wanted to hear some of the reasons that girls have.
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    I don't really care who adds me... but I'll admit, if they all of a sudden aren't on mfp for weeks on end, I usually delete them (male/female) :blushing:

    Women on here can be just as strange as some men can be... so creepiness gets deleted regardless of male/female as well. :wink:
  • RachelsReboot
    RachelsReboot Posts: 569 Member
    I don't have it on mine but seriously considered it, I've gotten a few messages from men looking to prey on someone they THINK has low self esteem, I happen to have a background that lets me see the behaviors for exactly what they are and those men have been promptly blocked. I can only image the messages some younger and more attractive women get.
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    its nothing personal but i do have like bikini pics on my profile and i would just feel uncomfortable about having older men on there while i post these things. it feels like my dad seeing them lol. so thats my reason... if someone got offended sorry but you asked opinions...

    I'm kind of curious - does this mean you don't wear a bikini to the beach or pool or whatever because older people might see you? (Not trying to be rude or anything, just really, genuinely curious about that train of thought.)

    I accept friends requests from guys. I get along better with them, and if they're prone to being offensive, I tend to find them amusing. :P
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    I don't get this, "out of respect for my husband/boyfriend" this is a fitness site not a dating site...



    For real. My husband doesn't care who I talk to on here.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member

    once i did have had a creep (male) REPEATEDLY send me a friend request. i kept declining and he kept sending over and over again. at least 5 times.

    My bad.
  • _Kitten_Kate
    _Kitten_Kate Posts: 520 Member
    I don't really care who adds me... but I'll admit, if they all of a sudden aren't on mfp for weeks on end, I usually delete them (male/female) :blushing:

    Women on here can be just as strange as some men can be... so creepiness gets deleted regardless of male/female as well. :wink:
    ^^ agreed.
  • SpydrMnky27
    SpydrMnky27 Posts: 381 Member
    I feel more comfortable with only women knowing my business but mostly it's out of respect for my man.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Some of these women have had bad experiences with men on the site. You must never have met the man who will offer to send you pictures of his bits after you accept his request.
    Hey, baby. Check out my bits...

    drill-bits-30363.jpg
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
    Hi there,
    I only ever accept people that I personally know... but I don't feel the need to write that all over my page stating this fact.
    Personally if I did accept MFP friends whom I did not know prior I still wouldn't add men... I would most probably add or accept friends who had similarities to me i.e. similiar weight, similiar eating habits, similiar active liftstyle. I don't think I'd have as much in common with friends or men as they would/could have completely different goals. I have always been a super protective person too and I do have a boyfriend already... so I don't want to put anyone in an uncomfortable situation. Stick with people that I know is safest! :smile:
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    you know what I"m wondering? Why it matters? Is this really an entire thread dedicated to people having to explain themselves on an issue that doesn't even affect you, as you're not male? yes it is. mind boggling.
  • mabug01
    mabug01 Posts: 1,273 Member
    Because it's just creepy.
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    I accept friends requests from guys. I get along better with them, and if they're prone to being offensive, I tend to find them amusing. :P

    I do the same thing!! I usually just find the things I'm suppose to be offended by funny
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    Neither of the people I'm in a relationship with tell me who I can or cannot talk to, unless someone is dangerous, be it abusive ex-lovers, serial killers, ad infinitum; now would I ever waste my time or energy with someone who did so. I'm a grown adult; I make the choices of who I can and can't talk to.

    This is my exact train of thought when I see things "out of respect for my partner" or whatever. I have friends of both genders, out of respect to my partner, because if he was the only guy I ever talked to for fear of upsetting him I'd drive him insane.
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    Some of these women have had bad experiences with men on the site. You must never have met the man who will offer to send you pictures of his bits after you accept his request.
    Hey, baby. Check out my bits...

    drill-bits-30363.jpg

    Those are some pretty impressive bits right there ;)
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Some of these women have had bad experiences with men on the site. You must never have met the man who will offer to send you pictures of his bits after you accept his request.
    Hey, baby. Check out my bits...

    drill-bits-30363.jpg
    Those are some pretty impressive bits right there ;)
    I should have put something next to them for scale. Just believe me -- they're huge.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    I get the "no boys allowed" part, but why have an album full of pics of your chest? Are you tracking progress in your bra size? Who are these pics for, especially if you're being gender-specific due to a BF/ Husband? I always found that one odd.
  • Lolli1986
    Lolli1986 Posts: 500 Member
    The weight/fitness/body composition/diet goals are totally different to women's. I prefer to add friends on the basis of them having something in common with me.

    I accept requests, but don't make any, and if I don't see anything that I can relate to, support, or I don't receive any support, within a few weeks, I delete them.

    I've also experienced young men treating this like a dating site... which is not what I am comfortable with when I'm at my most vulnerable!

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