Women who don't accept male friend requests

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Replies

  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    To the girls getting unwanted harrassment, check your profile pic, what you say in posts and overall how you present yourself to the community. I'd imagine a lot could be avoided by not having a profile full of scantily clad photos, what kind of attention did you think you were going to get?

    This is the essential "she was asking for it" argument. Just because a woman is showing off her success doesn't give someone the right to sexually harass them by sending unwanted dirty messages or pictures.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    I love when women state they don't like accepting requests from males with females only on their lists. They are allowed to prefer female friends but I'm not? :laugh:

    My list doesn't have a single male on it and that is how it will stay. Do I have some pretty hot women on my list? Absolutely! However, if they were not focuses on their fitness and supportive of mine, they wouldn't be on my list.
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
    I have accepted men in the past, only to see that their friends list is full of half naked hot chicks (to me this says they are just here for a perve), or I have found they have left inappropriate messages and comments, which just pi**** me off. I just feel that I have much more to relate to with females. I am more focused on what they do, and how they got to where they are. I deleted a guy because of this (we just disn't have any reason to be friends, we had no contact with each other). He then sent me rude and sexist Msgs, like 'you must be a lesbian if you don't want me as your friend' and such things like this. Which is so immature and DUMB! Now I just CBF dealing with them.
  • Taylerr88
    Taylerr88 Posts: 320 Member
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  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 797 Member


    This is the essential "she was asking for it" argument. Just because a woman is showing off her success doesn't give someone the right to sexually harass them by sending unwanted dirty messages or pictures.

    There is a massive difference between a "progress" post to show differences, and rocking a victoria secret get up with your bits hanging out. If guys had profile pics of their D*cks, crotches etc, they'd be removed immediately, yet I can't read a thread without seeing some girls chest or *kitten* in a close up.
  • _Kate_P
    _Kate_P Posts: 132
    sometimes I wanna talk about "lady problems" and not worry about dealing with them. and some are just creepy...like I'm 20 years old, I don't want some 45 year old man as my "friend." As for guys my age, I don't accept because, as I said, idk what kind of stuff I am going to want to post, and I'm already in a relationship and would prefer not to have guys hitting on me. Obviously there are some guys that'd be worth accepting, but I don't want to have to sort through and figure out if they can be my friend or not. Its just easier to say no to all of them.
  • smplycomplicated
    smplycomplicated Posts: 484 Member
    Guys need support too. It's pretty easy to tell if a guy is Fr'ing you because he wants to be friends or he's hoping for a peek at the boobages.
  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
    I think it's rediculous and unfair, if someone is rude or sending u messages u don't want, delete them.......so one bad apple spoils the whole bunch? And if spouses are the reason, get over it, there are men everywhere, not all are interested in us in a sexual way.
  • Taylerr88
    Taylerr88 Posts: 320 Member
    err i would also like to add... there is like a 100 to 1 ratio .. on this site.. so guys with friends list full of girls.. this is because they already added all 5 of the men.
  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
    Very interesting thread. I rarely add females because I always assume they think I am a creeper.,.. I have a great set of friends here, and I'll add anyone who's active and supportive.. But I really like to add those friends who have similar beliefs as mine. :)
  • llamalland
    llamalland Posts: 246 Member
    Out of respect for my husband - although he wouldn't mind & also because I really just want female friends.

    I agree I have only ever seen respectful and motivated men on here, it is nothing against them... just something I choose to do. Maybe I will change my mind in the future, but for now, women only.

    Exactly. I don't think women (or anybody), who set limits on their friends do so for nefarious reasons. I feel less restricted having a "female only" friends group. Perhaps freer to discuss intimate things. Also, while my husband doesn't get jealous, as the quoted poster said, it can be a respect issue.
  • momma924
    momma924 Posts: 26
    On my profile I say I am married. And if they give me any problems --- they will be blocked or if it's more than that, contact the right authorities. But the real men wouldn't do that sort of thing if they know you are married. :/ Idk... I don't post too much personal stuff just what I eat and exercise :P And I'm not flaunting a bikini pic.... ;-)
  • YassSpartan
    YassSpartan Posts: 1,195 Member
    This is a simple personal opinion (I said opinion), which means we are all entitled to do, think, and behave based on our own decisions. When it comes about "respect" to the husband or boyfriend, I wonder if respect is just what they want to see or call it when jealousy or lack of confidence is what's going on.

    The reason why I say this is, because there are a lot of guys who will cross the line when it comes about how the communicate with female users here, but there's always the option of deleting and blocking the person here. A simple reply of a man in the forum to a woman is the same as to a reply to her status update. Is that disrespectful? Not at all. I would understand if a private message could be considered an issue, but things can be said right from the beginning to avoid issues.

    This also makes me wonder, if the idea that a woman can't have an online male friend who might be able to help with weight loss and encouragement can be disrespectful, how is it in real life with either old male friends from before the woman got married, or those who are coworkers, etc.
  • Mizzou91
    Mizzou91 Posts: 249
    I think it's rediculous and unfair, if someone is rude or sending u messages u don't want, delete them.......so one bad apple spoils the whole bunch? And if spouses are the reason, get over it, there are men everywhere, not all are interested in us in a sexual way.

    Thank you. To assume that all of us want to hit on everything that walks is moronic. Yes, there are some men that do that but guess what? There are women who do that too!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,992 Member
    Lol, guess I'm lucky because I'm the only male on lots of these lists!!!!

    I accept all friends...female, male, gay, straight, etc. But believe it when I say if you're not around after 30 days, I delete you.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    For a while I didn't have any male friends on here. I never sent a request or never even received one from males so that's why I didn't have male friends for a long time.. Then one day I got a few male friend request and I figured it wasn't a big deal. But I'm sure some women prefer just female friends out of respect of thier SO or probably just want an all female group just because they want to
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    there are men everywhere, not all are interested in us in a sexual way.

    Yes, there are gay men on here too.
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    To the girls getting unwanted harrassment, check your profile pic, what you say in posts and overall how you present yourself to the community. I'd imagine a lot could be avoided by not having a profile full of scantily clad photos, what kind of attention did you think you were going to get?

    This is the essential "she was asking for it" argument. Just because a woman is showing off her success doesn't give someone the right to sexually harass them by sending unwanted dirty messages or pictures.

    It is perfectly possible to show off your progress and success without doing so in your underwear. There are a TON of women on here who have ridiculously sexual pictures, and then get pissed people look, and that's absurd. Present yourself as flirty and easy, and you ARE really asking for flirty messages back. Jesus.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Interesting...I have both male and female friends on MFP, and I have many male friends in "real life," but I never ever get hit on by my MFP guy friends...I think all of my male friends are married or in relationships...or maybe they just think I'm ugly LOL...I think people should not be criticized for "girls only" or "guys only" requests...to each their own :)
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    To the girls getting unwanted harrassment, check your profile pic, what you say in posts and overall how you present yourself to the community. I'd imagine a lot could be avoided by not having a profile full of scantily clad photos, what kind of attention did you think you were going to get?

    This is the essential "she was asking for it" argument. Just because a woman is showing off her success doesn't give someone the right to sexually harass them by sending unwanted dirty messages or pictures.

    It is perfectly possible to show off your progress and success without doing so in your underwear. There are a TON of women on here who have ridiculously sexual pictures, and then get pissed people look, and that's absurd. Present yourself as flirty and easy, and you ARE really asking for flirty messages back. Jesus.

    Agreed! While these sort of pictures definitely don't justify sexual harassment, if you present yourself as easy, don't be pissed when people treat you as such.
  • shanlynt
    shanlynt Posts: 718 Member
    Love my male friends, they Rock. If anyone is weird it's easy enough to delete them
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    A lot of ladies have had some less than enjoyable experiences or might just feel odd having male friends b/c of their relationship dynamic or something. I accept male requests, although I've only ever received a few out of my 180+ friends LOL, I have enjoyed the guys that I have friended, they are great support and fun to support back, it's kind of awesome seeing their insane high calorie burns and several of them feel similarly about certain food issues which is nice. I also requested ninerbuff just b/c he's awesome. :-)
  • sizesixorbust
    sizesixorbust Posts: 114 Member
    i seem to recall the episode of "how i met your mother" where barney called his girl friends at the gym "investments" haha
  • DRetel
    DRetel Posts: 136 Member
    I'll take their share of the man friends! :-)
    I'd love more buddies!
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    i seem to recall the episode of "how i met your mother" where barney called his girl friends at the gym "investments" haha

    Such a good episode. I was mildly horrified, but still.
  • pg1girl
    pg1girl Posts: 268 Member
    The reason I don't accept male friend requests is something you hit on- the progress pics i've taken have been so helpful to me in seeing my progress but i don't feel comfortable having others guys look at and comment on my body. I'm engaged and i know 1. my fiancee wouldn't be comfortable with it either and 2. he is extremely supportive and always gives me feedback, constructive criticism, and encouragement. Also, men and women are SO different in what they need to train. I read forums and blogs so i do see good advice but i like to talk with women so i can relate.
    If i get a male friend request, which is not frequent, i send a polite message explaining why i won't accept and wish them luck and offer encouragement. I have always gotten nice and respectful messages back so it's not really those men i'm guarding against. Just a little more cautious although anything on the internet is pretty public these days...

    This! No offense but my husband is the only male I need to get positive comments and encouragement from. It is a respect thing I have for my marriage and I am happy with "female only" friends.
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
    My wife and I are both on here. I have males and females on my friends list including my wife and she has male and female friends on her list as well. Same on facebook and twitter. My wife and I trust each other and we know that we are on here for support in our weight loss efforts.

    ^^^^^This^^^^^ I have a smaller friends list than my wife, but I have less time to support, so try to keep it small. I find that support is support no matter what the gender.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    wow. There's a whole lot of creepers out there........Hide your bikini pics.....If I accept your friend request I am still not showing speedo shots till the second week.........
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    I have some really bad personal messages sent to me. I block them immediately, but hard to have too many guy friends after that. I wont put up with it.

    You have a bellybutton made for shots....just saying...

    Lol! Thank you xD One of my friends said that right before you did! xD

    Does this count as one of those "deserving it" Pics? Just wondering since I dont usually see many that are bad xD
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
    Oh that does make sense lol. I hadn't even thought of that. I'm not in a relationship, so I guess that's why the thought hadn't occured to me.
    i've had various creepy messages from men. and usually when a guy requests, ALL their current friends are women. and i also find that creepy.
    i have quite a few guy friends who are very cool and really nice. and i do have a boyfriend who is also part of the MFP community

    edit: and my current pic is as revealing as my pics are so the creepy messages i definitely find as a huge harassment

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