Is it ok to flirt

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Replies

  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
    It's completely dependent on the people involved.

    There's also a major dependence on context/intention. I've gotten messages on here congratulating my progress and telling me I'm beautiful. I've also gotten really creepy messages from men AND women. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, "Your hard work has paid off and you're a beautiful person." However, I don't appreciate the "Thank god you didn't lose those tits" comments that I've received.

    Douches....
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member

    You had me at asphyxiation... LOL!

    How rude...

    You had me at *kitten*.

    And on Tuesday.

    Possibly on Wednesday as well.

    Have we effectively demonstrated flirting on the internet yet? Or do I need to flash you my boobs now?

    Our work here is done.

    Now I must go and solve world poverty. I may be gone some time...
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    8 pages and still no outline to what is flirting and what is considered complementing...
    I am coming to the conclusion that the line between them is so thin it can only exist in statements such as the ones made here. But to actually state what the differences are is very difficult.

    Conclusion I don't care if what I do is called flirting or complementing I am me and I love me :smooched: I :heart: all my MFP pals too!!!

    I believe you have no outline as it's left in the eye of the beholder...

    I think "Hey you, wanna fluck?" is a complement. You may not...

    Let me be the first to compliment you! :wink:

    You always compliment me, Carl :) *smooches*

    You guys are sweet, awesome, and funny!!!
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,227 Member
    duplicate?
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,227 Member
    I love to flirt.
    I was a big flirt before I met my husband.
    I flirted with my husband when we met.
    He obviously liked it a lot because he asked me to marry him.
    And ya know what? I still flirt.
    And do you know why? Because I am me and I love to flirt.
    Does my husband know I flirt? How could he not? It's part of who I am. It's part of who he fell in love with.
    Does my husband flirt? Absolutely. Hell, I even flirt with those that HE flirts with!
    Marriage doesn't change who you are, it changes the number of people you're "supposed to" sleep with.
    How dull life would be without flirting ...

    In fact, it's kind of a turn-on when some woman is flirting with him and he looks over at me and gives me that cocky half grin and a wink.
  • BullDozier
    BullDozier Posts: 237 Member
    If you're single, by all means, flirt away and say all the naughty things you want to each other. If you're married, or have a significant other, I consider that a huge NO and suggest to just stay away from it. Not that it would lead to anything directly, but I'm a firm believer that when you allow that door to be cracked open and you are in a monogomous relationship, it is just a path to more things that you would consider doing in the future. I've been married for 3 years/together for 8 years and I would never do anything behind my hubby's back that, a. I couldn't fully fill him in on, and b. it would hurt him or make him uncomfortable/resentful in any way.
    Flirting isn't just saying naughty things to each other. Actually, in my book, flirting is rarely saying naughty things.
  • Kristy_Elizabeth
    Kristy_Elizabeth Posts: 435
    My fiance and I had a lot of arguments over Facebook when we first starting seeing each other, which made me feel really dumb and immature, but didn't stop it! =) My idea is that if you wouldn't do it in real life, don't do it in a virtual world. My guy says he doesn't get it and they aren't the same, but he now knows they feel the same to me and he respects that. That being said, I'm a pretty shameless flirt in real life, lol! My personal guideline is if I wouldn't feel comfortable if he read what I'm saying, then I probably shouldn't be saying it.. I use the same guideline in IRL too.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member

    You guys are sweet, awesome, and funny!!!

    So is that a complement or flirting?? read the above post to see the entire conversation :laugh:

    sorry I couldn't help myself, I just luv messing with people lol
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I love to flirt.
    I was a big flirt before I met my husband.
    I flirted with my husband when we met.
    He obviously liked it a lot because he asked me to marry him.
    And ya know what? I still flirt.
    And do you know why? Because I am me and I love to flirt.
    Does my husband know I flirt? How could he not? It's part of who I am. It's part of who he fell in love with.
    Does my husband flirt? Absolutely. Hell, I even flirt with those that HE flirts with!
    Marriage doesn't change who you are, it changes the number of people you're "supposed to" sleep with.
    How dull life would be without flirting ...

    In fact, it's kind of a turn-on when some woman is flirting with him and he looks over at me and gives me that cocky half grin and a wink.

    I agree. I don't mind when someone flirts with my wife. I find it flattering. I am the one that benefits.
  • Ayeshat
    Ayeshat Posts: 209
    no harm in flirting if ur not attached and if u are.. if u don't have to hide the screen when ur bf/gf comes in the room then its all good
  • shannoninBC
    shannoninBC Posts: 345 Member
    I see no harm in flirting. Not like it's going to go past the internets, right, right :)
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    I love to flirt.
    I was a big flirt before I met my husband.
    I flirted with my husband when we met.
    He obviously liked it a lot because he asked me to marry him.
    And ya know what? I still flirt.
    And do you know why? Because I am me and I love to flirt.
    Does my husband know I flirt? How could he not? It's part of who I am. It's part of who he fell in love with.
    Does my husband flirt? Absolutely. Hell, I even flirt with those that HE flirts with!
    Marriage doesn't change who you are, it changes the number of people you're "supposed to" sleep with.
    How dull life would be without flirting ...

    This is how we roll too.

    Us too.......... and guess what........... no drama at home involving that............

    Exactly. We never fight over that. It's a non-issue.
  • adamb83
    adamb83 Posts: 719 Member
    If you're not in a relationship, then it's okay.

    If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't mind, then it's okay.

    If you're in a relationship and that person wouldn't like, then it's not okay.
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 465 Member
    Flirting is okay. The only problem is, a lot of guys don't know the difference between flirting and being a douche.

    This.
  • tinamina78
    tinamina78 Posts: 241 Member
    I see no harm in flirting. Not like it's going to go past the internets, right, right :)

    Shan, this is how my ex began his epic cheat-on-Tina-and-take-her-for-all-she's-worth process. "harmless" internets flirting... with many, many women. Until he found a few that would hook up. And then he just kept on doing it. His rationale was that it made him feel better about himself because deep down, he was SO insecure (apparently I did not compliment him enough). Not everyone keeps their boundaries where you think they do...

    I still say it's between you and your partner, but for me... well, I know lines can be crossed all too easily. Sad, but true.
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
    If you are in a relationship with someone you shouldn't be flirting with other people where it be online or in real life.
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 465 Member
    I dont see flirting as cheating, as long as lines aren't crossed. A compliment and an innuendo here or there is harmless. A woman who feels otherwise obviously has some insecurity issues. Especially on a site as this one where ppl are from all over and its highly unlikely things will evolve from there

    I agree. It's the internet. People are going to flirt regardless of their status.
    If you are going to take that flirting and turn it into something else - that's your own fault. I know there are some people on here who are married and met through MFP. Good for them. The obviously had no lines to cross (significant others).
    If you are with someone and flirting and you feel guilty about it you need to ask yourself why you feel guilty. Must be more going on than you are willing to admit.
  • Slendermike
    Slendermike Posts: 1,776 Member
    anyone wan to flirt? I am game!
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    there's a difference between flirting and complimenting. Flirting is NOT okay if you are in a relationship or married.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    My fiance and I had a lot of arguments over Facebook when we first starting seeing each other, which made me feel really dumb and immature, but didn't stop it! =) My idea is that if you wouldn't do it in real life, don't do it in a virtual world. My guy says he doesn't get it and they aren't the same, but he now knows they feel the same to me and he respects that. That being said, I'm a pretty shameless flirt in real life, lol! My personal guideline is if I wouldn't feel comfortable if he read what I'm saying, then I probably shouldn't be saying it.. I use the same guideline in IRL too.

    I agree with you... at least to me... they are the same. I take them the same, and I do not think it's harmless if it is hurtful to another person.
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 465 Member
    I flirt with guys AND girls on here. I'm just that way though. It's all what you're comfortable with and what the people you're talking to are comfortable with.
    I do the same here and offline. I have always been a flirty person.

    My husband was the lead singer for a regional metal band. I had to deal with flirting ALL the time. Right in front of me. Sort of comes with the territory. Did not bother me - I know who he is going home with and I have no problems with trust. So he'd have to autograph boobs and other body party, take pics, and what-not. Now he is in the background as him and the guitarist switched places. Still a lot of flirting - but not as much. Something about the lead singer.

    Point is it all has to do with what your boundaries are, what makes you comfortable, uncomfortable, and your insecurities play a big part in it too whether you believe (or admit) it or not.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Yes. It's okay. It's also okay for each person to do as they feel and MTOB otherwise.

    You'd first have to define "flirt". "You look hot" doesn't qualify in my book. A hand down the pants might. It does take a lot to get my attention. Some people think a compliment means you want in. Unless it is a full-out offer of penis/vagina or declaration of undying love, with a date/time/location attached, it rolls off my back.
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 465 Member
    Not everyone who flirts is running around sending out nude photos and discussing sexual acts. You can be flirtatious without it.
    I flirt with all my friends...male and female.

    But there's a line that many here cross. If you are married, or engaged, or 2 days from walking up the frikken isle, it is not and never okay to send nekkid pics or talk about sexual acts you would like to do. This to me is cheating. I don't care if you're across the ocean, in a different state or living next door. It makes me sick. And the people that encourage this are just as bad.

    Many of my male friends are married and i would never say something to them that would get them in *kitten* with their wives.

    If you're single--then sure. If thats what you want to do.
  • IamRoJ
    IamRoJ Posts: 530 Member
    People flirt on this site? Oh...this is bad. I am completely anti-flirting of any kind.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Yes. It's okay. It's also okay for each person to do as they feel and MTOB otherwise.

    You'd first have to define "flirt". "You look hot" doesn't qualify in my book. A hand down the pants might. It does take a lot to get my attention. Some people think a compliment means you want in. Unless it is a full-out offer of penis/vagina or declaration of undying love, with a date/time/location attached, it rolls off my back.

    So you're saying hand down your pants is okay ... right?!?!? :bigsmile:
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 465 Member
    I love to flirt.
    I was a big flirt before I met my husband.
    I flirted with my husband when we met.
    He obviously liked it a lot because he asked me to marry him.
    And ya know what? I still flirt.
    And do you know why? Because I am me and I love to flirt.
    Does my husband know I flirt? How could he not? It's part of who I am. It's part of who he fell in love with.
    Does my husband flirt? Absolutely. Hell, I even flirt with those that HE flirts with!
    Marriage doesn't change who you are, it changes the number of people you're "supposed to" sleep with.
    How dull life would be without flirting ...

    And that's a wrap ya'll.

    I couldn't have said it better myself. :)
  • fitnesspirateninja
    fitnesspirateninja Posts: 667 Member
    I think of flirting as harmless. It doesn't involve feelings, intentions, or actions. Perhaps other people define it differently?
  • Wreak_Havoc
    Wreak_Havoc Posts: 597
    These threads are a great way to avoid some land mines (uptight prudes).

    minesweeper.jpg

    OMG! Diet coke out the nose feels weird!!!!! Remind me not to drink while scrolling!!!!!!
  • sharbaby
    sharbaby Posts: 41 Member
    Well if its a compliment yea sure but when they start getting hot and heavy well thats when I would flick out the birdy finger and say nar sorry not for me blahahaha
  • bejuled74
    bejuled74 Posts: 191 Member
    Flirting is absolutely healthy and neccessary, as long as you don't get confused in your flirting. It makes you feel good, and feeling good only helps in a relationship. EVERYONE likes to feel like they are interesting to other people. You just have to make sure you're not crossing any lines with your flirting.

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