Is it ok to flirt

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Replies

  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    I think of flirting as harmless. It doesn't involve feelings, intentions, or actions. Perhaps other people define it differently?

    Sometimes flirting does indeed involve all of the above... depending on the person's level of interest, involvement, etc. Everyone is different. What is for one is not the same for another. It's not black and white.
  • Fit4Evolution
    Fit4Evolution Posts: 375 Member
    its a compliment with a flare.. I know its not going anywhere other than making eachother feel good about ourselves.. flirting is fun and makes you and the other person feel good.. no harm.. its not like i am gonna catch the next pane to cali or main to meet someone.
  • Wreak_Havoc
    Wreak_Havoc Posts: 597
    WOW! Lots of opinions and flirting going on. From the old married guy...

    I agree with many the folks here. Flirting that does not cross a line should be fine. Couple of caveats, one being does your spouse have reservations about you flirting and are you able to know when to stop. I have been a huge flirt for as long as I can remember. My wife even has said on several occasions that I will flirt with every girl I meet. True, I also look at the menu in the store windows, and she knows I am not going to order anything off it either. It is when you think of ordering that it becomes dangerous. Like ordering that double whopper with cheese (for a MFPer) or an alcoholic picking up a drink.

    This topic came up a while back with something that came up here on site. My wife wandered over to the computer while I was writing an email to one of the successful women here. I hear "Oh Gawd! Flirting again?" I said actually no. I am complimenting this gal on her butt! Three pictures: one, butt saggy and no definition; two, starting to lift and a little definition; and the third, toned legs and definate definition of the butt. She laughed and walked off saying "Yup. Nice butt."

    Was it flirting? Most would construe as flirting. However, crossing the line? No.

    Sorry about the rambling. But I wanted to put a guys non flirting response in.
  • Fit4Evolution
    Fit4Evolution Posts: 375 Member
    If you are in a relationship with someone you shouldn't be flirting with other people where it be online or in real life.

    ok so your not in a relationship?
  • ki4yxo
    ki4yxo Posts: 709 Member
    I don't do anything I wouldn't want my wife to do,
    out of respect. We go by the "you can look, but that's
    it rule." :tongue:
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
    Can someone explain to my why there is an unending plethora of these threads where grown ups ask for permission/approval from strangers on the internet to do mundane or even worse, morally charged things? Seriously? We are all 18 or older. Why does a stranger even care?

    Lift heavy
    Lift pink weights
    Do only cardio
    Eat 700 calores
    Eat 3,000 calories
    Flirt
    Wear or don't wear underwear/make up/cute outfits/sloppy outfits/lifting straps/a Bustier at the gym
    Sleep with your best friend
    Sleep with the best friend of the guy that really likes you
    Don't sleep with anyone
    show your progress in your profile pic
    Wear a nun's habit in your profile pic
    Whatever! Just flippin decide it do it and go for broke
    And please, don't feel the need to display your indecisive handwringing to strangers on the interne. Whatever you decide, you got more invested than us so why ask us? What do we know?
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Can someone explain to my why there is an unending plethora of these threads where grown ups ask for permission/approval from strangers on the internet to do mundane or even worse, morally charged things? Seriously? We are all 18 or older. Why does a stranger even care?
    Chill out. We're just having a discussion, and the OP was just curious. I don't think anyone here is asking permission/approval from anyone else on here. Good grief.
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
    My fiance and I had a lot of arguments over Facebook when we first starting seeing each other, which made me feel really dumb and immature, but didn't stop it! =) My idea is that if you wouldn't do it in real life, don't do it in a virtual world. My guy says he doesn't get it and they aren't the same, but he now knows they feel the same to me and he respects that. That being said, I'm a pretty shameless flirt in real life, lol! My personal guideline is if I wouldn't feel comfortable if he read what I'm saying, then I probably shouldn't be saying it.. I use the same guideline in IRL too.

    I don't have a problem at all with some shameless banter in real life... but I see a lot of stuff on MFP that wouldn't be happening in a Walmart aisle.

    Okay, maybe in a Walmart aisle, but not in a Target.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    A bit of flirting is fun and an ego boost. I have no problem with it either way (DH flirting or me flirting), as long as everyone is on the same page.
  • xxTAMxx
    xxTAMxx Posts: 573 Member
    I call it 'building up my social networking skills'
  • k8lyn_235
    k8lyn_235 Posts: 507 Member
    Okay, maybe in a Walmart aisle, but not in a Target.

    lmao! omg.. the things you see at walmart.. target >>> walmart
  • Ttopeka
    Ttopeka Posts: 151 Member
    If you wouldn't say it to someone in front of your S/O, it shouldn't be said.

    I think that's a healthy guideline.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Yes. It's okay. It's also okay for each person to do as they feel and MTOB otherwise.

    You'd first have to define "flirt". "You look hot" doesn't qualify in my book. A hand down the pants might. It does take a lot to get my attention. Some people think a compliment means you want in. Unless it is a full-out offer of penis/vagina or declaration of undying love, with a date/time/location attached, it rolls off my back.

    So you're saying hand down your pants is okay ... right?!?!? :bigsmile:

    Since you could totally do that in front of my huzz, I think we are cleared for takeoff.
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
    ~ Depends on one's intentions ... obviously there are many definitions of " flirting " ...

    Honestly ... to each is own ... in some ways it can benefit by boosting one's confidence which in turn can benefit a relationship to grow even more sexually ... as long as that relationship is with their significant other. If your single ... no question about it ... '

    FLIRTING IS FUN ! :tongue:

    If you are in a relationship and care deeply for the other person ... I'm not sure I would see where flirting with others would be necessary ... if my eyes are on you ... that's all I see. If the relationship has everything you ever imagined and then some ... the only flirting going on is between myself and my lover / boyfriend / best friend.

    And I must admit ... he is such a " Flirt " ... and I love it ! ( How did I do, Darling ... approve ? ) :wink:
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    yess..not like im gonna meet any of the cool girls on here anyways -_-
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
    I see no harm in flirting. Not like it's going to go past the internets, right, right :)

    Shan, this is how my ex began his epic cheat-on-Tina-and-take-her-for-all-she's-worth process. "harmless" internets flirting... with many, many women. Until he found a few that would hook up. And then he just kept on doing it. His rationale was that it made him feel better about himself because deep down, he was SO insecure (apparently I did not compliment him enough). Not everyone keeps their boundaries where you think they do...

    I still say it's between you and your partner, but for me... well, I know lines can be crossed all too easily. Sad, but true.

    That's very sad, but proof that the insecurity doesn't have to be in the other person... Sometimes the flirter is guilty of it too.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    My theme song

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x22d2q_r-kelly-i-m-a-flirt_music
  • shannoninBC
    shannoninBC Posts: 345 Member
    My theme song

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x22d2q_r-kelly-i-m-a-flirt_music

    I think it's perfectly acceptable to flirt as long as its with that guy ^^^^^
  • Rick_SH
    Rick_SH Posts: 71 Member
    I think everyone flirts in one manner or another. Its a form of communication. Of innocent fun for most. But just like drinking, eating, or other vices, too much can be harmful.
  • neti_call
    neti_call Posts: 81 Member
    sure, if you aren't attached.
    Flirting online is dangerous if you are married, however. I know lots of peeps whose marriage ended over "harmless" flirtations online.

    if a relationship is going to end over online flirtations, it can end over something else also. let's not confuse the symptom with the cause itself.
    Nonononono, the problems started with flirtations, then they found their "soulmate" online, became obsessed with that person they had never met, ignored their mate, and finally ended up meeting and cheating their harmless flirtation.
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
    Seems as though a lot of the anti-flirting folks think that flirting online equals random sex with strangers... curiouser and curiouser....

    I'm a huge flirt, always have been, always will be. My bf knows this, accepts this, and isn't threatened by it. We have one of those weird relationships built on... you know... love and trust. He flirts with all the gorgeous ladies on MFP, and I support that completely. Flirting and having someone flirt back can build confidence, and that confidence is fun to bring back to your own relationship.

    So all I can say is, chill out, get your flirt on, and enjoy the trip!
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,064 Member
    Flirting whats that? -Ty, im no flirt, i meant what i said
  • abc_life
    abc_life Posts: 28
    I think its fine if its not overly excessive or creepy

    I wouldn't mind a hot guy to flirt w me on here or in real life..it just doesn't happen, I get creepers 24-7 haha
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I think there's a big difference between saying "oooh nice [anything except package]"/acknowledging your appreciate for the person's hard work/even a little gutter talk in jest and saying "oh, the things I would do to you would make the Heff blush."

    I think that some of my mpf's are freaking hot, but I don't have any imaginings about them. I accidentally made one of my males co-workers a little uncomfortable yesterday talking about my hubs . . . he does it for me more than anyone else on the planet.

    And to be quite frank, as to not be accused of impropriety, I'm more likely to overtly flirt with my female mfp's than the guys. For example, I would never ask one of the guys to give me a "good game" except in a very special circumstance that would and could never be viewed as a serious invitation, but I will regularly ask one of the ladies for a little spanking on my way out the door.
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    wait.. you can flirt on this site?
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    sure, if you aren't attached.
    Flirting online is dangerous if you are married, however. I know lots of peeps whose marriage ended over "harmless" flirtations online.

    if a relationship is going to end over online flirtations, it can end over something else also. let's not confuse the symptom with the cause itself.
    Nonononono, the problems started with flirtations, then they found their "soulmate" online, became obsessed with that person they had never met, ignored their mate, and finally ended up meeting and cheating their harmless flirtation.

    My dad used to go to the bar with his buddies after work on a regular basis. My mom asked him not to regularly, and that it was fine in moderation, but going to some of the bars they went to with the guys my dad spent time with made her uncomfortable. He said he wasn't going out to pick someone up. She said that she realized that, but my dad is a good looking man and a good looking married man going out to some of those places with that kind of regularity is like walking into a bakery everyday and leaving without a cupcake every single time. My parents divorced when I was 8.
    The interwebz can be like walking in to a packed bar 24 hours a day. You have to know where to draw the line for you, and never cross it.
  • carlsonrobb
    carlsonrobb Posts: 914 Member
    let the flirting begin!!
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    It's pretty much how I converse...
  • DarthCeltic
    DarthCeltic Posts: 1,236 Member
    i never get flirted on... i think its the moobs.. or the sweatervest.. idk..
  • NessasMommy081311
    NessasMommy081311 Posts: 122 Member
    I think it all depends....I get flirted with on here often, and I do friendly flirting back. I am married, and most people would think that's not okay, but I tell my husband everything, and I don't say anything I wouldn't want him to know. Harmless flirting is a good self esteem boost, especially when most of us on here are trying to lose weight and better ourselves. Would I act on anything? No. I am happily married. Does it feel good to get compliments? Hellz yeah! I guess it all depends on the person though...

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