Unrequented friend requests!

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  • tinamina78
    tinamina78 Posts: 241 Member
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    I agree with most of the others who say that they prefer a message. I always hesitate before accepting a friend request without a message. It just seems unnatural. Would you become friends with someone you'd never spoken with?

    As to not sending a message if I decline a request: I used to send messages saying "thank you very much, but I am comfortable with my group of friends and currently not accepting any more." You have NO idea how many mean replies I got for that! Men calling me stuck up or ranting about how much better of a "friend" they could be... it was not worth dealing with that anymore. That's why I don't tell you if I deny you.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
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    Wow. People are so sensitive. Feeling a deep sense of rejection because a stranger on the internet denied your friend request? What a sad, sad pretend world we live in.

    Buck up, little soldier. The real world is a rough place. Put on a helmet and a brave smile and go about your day.
  • smileymel27
    smileymel27 Posts: 171 Member
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    Wow, I find this whole topic weird.

    I mean, other than your weight, picture and your habits, there is no personal info on this site. A lot of people don't even have a picture. So I don't get the whole refusing people to be your "friend" on a weight loss / fitness site. I figure, the larger the group, the larger the support system.

    I guess sending a short message when adding is just as polite as sending one explaining the refusal (predilections for jello and PVC aside)...
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    I decline everyone equally.
    How they react to it, is just a sign of their own mental health.

    I cried and ate a box of Thin Mints. You ruined my self-esteem and my calorie count for the day. :sad:
  • busywaterbending
    busywaterbending Posts: 844 Member
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    Well, when a 21-year-old guy I've never seen on the boards and who has no mutual friends sends me a FR with absolutely no comment in it, I don't feel the need to go too far out of my way to explain why I'm not accepting.

    same here. and not sorry at all.

    why would a complete stranger friend request? And not even bother to introduce themselves? That's rude in my book!

    Boundaries are set here that maybe you don't realize have been set?

    If a profile of someone is set to "friends only" or "private" that is a clear message to NOT friend request them. If their profile does say something about rules for friend requests and you didn't bother to follow the rules that were stated, then you are rude. This internet stuff is not rocket science, and there are way too many crazy people in the world to just be openly friendly.

    And to say that you think it's rude to not reply is strange to me, just like I can't comprehend friend requesting someone with out a message and first reading their profile page if it is readable.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
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    Also, has anyone mentioned that the word is "unrequited" not "unrequented?" I'm not sure what unrequented means.
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    *Since this topic posted I've received 4 requests and only 1 with a note, "Hi". Decline! <sigh>

    Maybe they should said "Hi, what's up!?"

    JM

    That would help!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Wow, I find this whole topic weird.

    I mean, other than your weight, picture and your habits, there is no personal info on this site. A lot of people don't even have a picture. So I don't get the whole refusing people to be your "friend" on a weight loss site. I figure, the larger the group, the larger the support system.

    I guess sending a short message when adding is just as polite as sending one explaining the refusal (predilections for jello and PVC aside)...

    Different people share different things. We also have private walls where we feel free to talk about certain things and we don't always want anyone and everyone to see that.

    I also know someone who was stalked by a random stranger who she "met" on a message board. You'd be surprised what people can figure out about you from very little information.
  • stevewynjones
    stevewynjones Posts: 1,143 Member
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    If she's American just tell her you're English... we like an accent. (American women are easy!) :drinker: :noway: :blushing:

    Welsh actually but I do have an "English" accent..think Hugh Grant but delivered by Jason Statham....
  • foxy2311
    foxy2311 Posts: 179
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    dude, really? You want to know why someone doesn't want to be your friend? And then what, will you argue your case? I find it's just easier to decline or delete quietly. I have been known to do both for a variety of reasons, some of which depend on my mood. I'm a b*tch and a hypocrite, so there's no rhyme or reason to it. And if I decline/delete you, I don't want to have to explain it. Nor would I expect that in return.

    I'm with ya
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    I turn down anyone without a message, I accept people with a message, and then give them a week to see how supportive they are and decide I want to keep them! X
  • smileymel27
    smileymel27 Posts: 171 Member
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    Also, has anyone mentioned that the word is "unrequited" not "unrequented?" I'm not sure what unrequented means.

    Lol.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    Wow. People are so sensitive. Feeling a deep sense of rejection because a stranger on the internet denied your friend request? What a sad, sad pretend world we live in.

    Buck up, little soldier. The real world is a rough place. Put on a helmet and a brave smile and go about your day.

    I heart you hard.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I'm inundated with friend requests and far too fabulous to bother replying....



    *snort*

    But seriously, the same can be said for people that "wink" on a dating website or whatever... you owe them - nothing. Why do you need "closure" on a non-existent relationship with a stranger?
  • tinamina78
    tinamina78 Posts: 241 Member
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    Wow, I find this whole topic weird.

    I mean, other than your weight, picture and your habits, there is no personal info on this site. A lot of people don't even have a picture. So I don't get the whole refusing people to be your "friend" on a weight loss / fitness site. I figure, the larger the group, the larger the support system.

    I guess sending a short message when adding is just as polite as sending one explaining the refusal (predilections for jello and PVC aside)...

    There are a lot of reasons for denying or deleting people. Not everyone has the same goal or attitude toward weight loss or being healthy. Some people are on here to try and hook up or get some kind of kinky thrill (totally fine if you're into that). Some people are completely rude, accusatory or always negative. Some people whine way too much! Behind the "profile" is a person. The same reason you would not be everyone in the world's friend is the same reason you would not want to be friends with everyone on MFP.
  • busywaterbending
    busywaterbending Posts: 844 Member
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    ...

    As to not sending a message if I decline a request: I used to send messages ...[in reply] You have NO idea how many mean replies I got for that! Men calling me stuck up or ranting about how much better of a "friend" they could be... it was not worth dealing with that anymore. That's why I don't tell you if I deny you.

    same here. replying to an unasked for friend request or a private message just lets that person think you are now having a conversation with them! And the abusive ones are to be immedietely reported to the moderators.

    I like the statement above about how 'one takes a "decline" determines their mental health'. That's perfect.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    To be honest, if I sent a request and it's denied, I usually forget about it.
    But my hat is awesome, and it's not denied :)

    More important things to do :D
  • LesaDave
    LesaDave Posts: 1,480 Member
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    I had one. Sent TWO messages back to that person asking why me or whatever. Both messages totally ignored. So I guess it can go either way. I mean, even if it was sent to me by accident, say that. But...silence.......

    If it's a comment made somewhere, just say so! Which it probably isn't cuz I don't think I say much.

    But just to send me something. No comment. I don't recognize you...naw.
  • Tracey0013
    Tracey0013 Posts: 154 Member
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    Is it wrong to talk about my love of jello and pvc in a request?:embarassed:
    [/quote]


    LOL love it!
  • ♥ChUbByCoyLe♥
    ♥ChUbByCoyLe♥ Posts: 267 Member
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    I don't get enough requests to turn down. Only turned 1 down and that was a troll here a few months ago.

    This

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