girls ... do you mind if your men go to strip clubs?

kimr41

Sure do care. Total deal breaker for me. I think you women are lying to yourselves if you are believing in agreements of no lap dances etc. Your SO is laughing that you are gullible enough to believe he is being honest

Edithrenee

Yes I mind! Why would i let that happen? Either he wants to be withme or not.. if i was going to see other men strip i think it would bother him. I think people are to tolerant nowdays. My opinion.

hdroddy

This argument is dumb. I'm stating my opinion the same exact way everyone else has in this thread so far. Both sides. Thank goodness you are here to set me straight!

You are certainly entitled to your opinion (and for the record I don't think you are a prude for having it), but don't you think stating that other women who don't feel the way you do are letting themselves be disrespected and deserve more is a bit much?

No I really don't. I actually think it's a positive message and women deserve their husbands to treat them as though they are the sexiest, most beautiful women that they have ever laid eyes on and don't even want to have some random chick shaking her tits in their husband's face to keep him satisfied and happy.

My husband thinks I am the most sexiest, beautiful woman on the planet and tells me that about a dozen times a day.

He will also go to strip clubs with friends. He doesn't do it all the time but it something that he will do.

I will also go to strip clubs with him.

He loves and respects me.

We have an awesome relationship based on mutual trust and *gasp!* RESPECT!

We have never had an argument.

Jealousy is never an issue.

I know he would never cheat on me.

He's not having sex with the strippers that he goes to watch.

He loves women, especially naked women.

He loves my naked body and he loves to look at other naked bodies as well.

None of this means he disrespects me, doesn't love me or feels that I'm worthless.

None of this means that I don't respect myself because my husband enjoys beauty.

You don't know me or my relationship with my husband. To say that someone "Deserves Better" because he goes to a strip club is absolutely ludicrous.

You are not me.

You do not live in my house.

Do not throw out a blanket judgment on people like me.

That's wonderful that you really do feel that way. A lot of women don't and just let their men do as they please anyway. These are the women I'm referring to.

If you know these women personally, then judge away. I have a mind of my own and so does my husband. He does not control me and I do not control him. Women who "let their men" do anything are seriously over estimating their power. That or their men are just whipped.

Then I guess mine is whipped. Or maybe he's just the type of guy who doesn't need to go to strip clubs and is satisfied with his wife and his wife only?? I've stated like 3 times now that I am just saying that women who aren't really okay with it don't have to shove their feelings down and make themselves okay with it just to seem like the "cool wife/girlfriend"

You are 100% right about that. No woman should ever, ever do that. No man should ever, ever want that. But both are responsible for creating an environment where that is not the status quo.

femmi1120

My guy's never been to one. I'd have no problem with it as long as I was with him. Too paranoid about him going alone. He's never showed any interest in going at all though, so I don't have to worry about it.

I do admire all of you ladies with the confidence to let your guy go with his buddies... hoping I can get to that point one day!

ninerbuff

Sure do care. Total deal breaker for me. I think you women are lying to yourselves if you are believing in agreements of no lap dances etc. Your SO is laughing that you are gullible enough to believe he is being honest

I don't do lap dances at the strip clubs. They're too expensive and never worth it. Hell I'm so cheap I sit behind the guy with the most money when a stripper is on the stage so I can get close ups for free.

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cellokitty91

I mind. We're both doing our best to honor God as well as respect one another. Seems like things could get messy real quick if we started going. Neither of us have had a reason to be the jealous type thus far and I'm happy for that; why provoke it? Besides, those girls are tame in comparison to me

sandiki

nope.. I usually make the plans for him...and on occasion tag along. A womans body is beautiful...why not?

Beezil

I mind. We're both doing our best to honor God as well as respect one another. Seems like things could get messy real quick if we started going. Neither of us have had a reason to be the jealous type thus far and I'm happy for that; why provoke it? Besides, those girls are tame in comparison to me

:laugh: LOVE this post!

ArroganceInStep

Thank you for posting this, but I am shocked with the answers to this question. I'm not married, but I'm definitely not going to marry the type of guy that would step foot near a strip club. That's what relationships and marriage are about, EACH OTHER, not only sexual indulgences.

& No little girl wants to grow up & take off her clothes for people to get off on. Seriously, that's someone's baby girl up there, someone's sister or best friend.

You all definitely need to do some research about human trafficking. Majority of those girls are completely broken, abused, drug addicted, and you are supporting that?

That's just messed up. I honestly don't care what your reasons or excuses are. That's disgusting.

I'm sorry, I'm going to school to be a counselor, taking all the classes on marriage & relationships, and have personally seen sexual addiction cause so much heartache, and ruin way too many relationships & marriages in my 20 years of life.

A man in a relationship who is going to strip clubs is pretty much turning to his significant other & saying, "Hey, you aren't enough for me." How is that okay with you guys??

Seriously, I'm just completely shocked that any girl would want her boyfriend or husband there.

Equating exotic dancing to human trafficking grossly exaggerates what a strip club is, and in my opinion undermines a truly awful and serious plight. I've been to strip clubs before, so you're saying I support human trafficking? You're saying that me going to a strip club means I don't love my fiancee and am not satisfied by her? You know absolutely nothing about me.

Then I guess mine is whipped. Or maybe he's just the type of guy who doesn't need to go to strip clubs and is satisfied with his wife and his wife only?? I've stated like 3 times now that I am just saying that women who aren't really okay with it don't have to shove their feelings down and make themselves okay with it just to seem like the "cool wife/girlfriend"

You did state that point, but it really wasn't clear from your initial post on the subject. Particularly in this sort of thread format, it can be difficult for that kind of clarification to gain traction right away.

sshap21712

just not during my shift. that's awkward.

LOL

Vodkha

Never had to worry about mine going to a strip club, he's always said he doesn't have an interest in it at all. If he wanted to, it would be a problem for me, yes. It's not just about being made to feel insecure with my body, but also jealousy. Yes, I get jealous when he looks at other women. Why shouldn't I? He's MY husband, who I married. If he wanted to look at other women, experience them, and think about them sexually, he shouldn't have gotten into a committed relationship.

I also don't want him looking at porn. I've talked to him about it and explained why it hurts me, and he eventually stopped when he finally understood. Just because you're not touching the person, doesn't mean it's not cheating. Sure, maybe it's not as bad, but it's still a degree of cheating. Phone sex or cyber sex would seriously bother some people I'm sure if they found out their spouse was doing those things - and for me, if he's looking at other women naked, it's just another way for him to cheat without really touching those women. I've looked at porn many times, yes, and you know what I found out? It bothers him JUST as much as it bothers me when he does it. I have never once felt good about myself after looking at other men naked. It always ends up with me feeling terribly guilty and disgusted with myself - so I don't do it anymore.

Your poor husband! Porn is cheating? Really? Is him talking to and looking at another woman at work he considers attractive cheating as well?

buffybabe

Never had to worry about mine going to a strip club, he's always said he doesn't have an interest in it at all. If he wanted to, it would be a problem for me, yes. It's not just about being made to feel insecure with my body, but also jealousy. Yes, I get jealous when he looks at other women. Why shouldn't I? He's MY husband, who I married. If he wanted to look at other women, experience them, and think about them sexually, he shouldn't have gotten into a committed relationship.

I also don't want him looking at porn. I've talked to him about it and explained why it hurts me, and he eventually stopped when he finally understood. Just because you're not touching the person, doesn't mean it's not cheating. Sure, maybe it's not as bad, but it's still a degree of cheating. Phone sex or cyber sex would seriously bother some people I'm sure if they found out their spouse was doing those things - and for me, if he's looking at other women naked, it's just another way for him to cheat without really touching those women. I've looked at porn many times, yes, and you know what I found out? It bothers him JUST as much as it bothers me when he does it. I have never once felt good about myself after looking at other men naked. It always ends up with me feeling terribly guilty and disgusted with myself - so I don't do it anymore.

Totally agree with you

blahblah123314

just not during my shift. that's awkward.

LMFAO XD That would be..

CallieM15

Agreed.
My boyfirend hates strip clubs... He wouldnt want men grinding up on me, nor do i like women on him. If your thinking about another woman, dreaming about puttin it in her... Why be with the same woman daily? I am in a relationship because I want only him.
He gets disgusted by women who use thier bodies for money. I have a friend who is a stripper and he disapproves of it.. I love her to death though. We have our fun, lots of it. We dress up, and have crazy nights together, at one point had our own pole... Hes the only man I lust over... I dont get excited over randoms. Personality turns me on. Not bodies.

Very good points. In my experience, men who go to those places alone are looking for something they don't get at home for one reason or the other (either their own incompetence, or their partner's hesitation) . I'm not generalizing; I'm just saying that is the case with those people I know who go to them. Many couples who go together are probably just looking for adventure, and hey, whatever lights your fire.

But if you have a satisfying sex life without them, what's the point? I've never seen the point...

I will do everything those strippers will do for him. Im am not embarressed with him, and we have both lost and gained weight. If he wants me to put on some stripper clothes, then so be it . Sex should be fun and a lot of men dont get that themselves. Sex/pleasure is so much better when you have a bond with someone.

I have fantasized about other men while in relationships, and it came down to the fact that i was bored and moved on. My current relationship I am completely content. I look at a guy at the gym and think "Darn that body must have taken work to get" But not "GAH I wanna him in me"...

But do you not think that there will eventually come a time when he gets tired of looking at you? Not that he isn't attracted to you or anything, but he might want to change things up once and awhile, visually. I'm sure you look at guys and think of them sexually, even if you say you don't.

Then its time to move on... If your significant other isnt the view you love to see, and pleasured with why stay? I believe that people can be completely happy with one another. Ive had relationships where My ex went to strip clubs and everything, but eventually we werent the two that belonged together. When you commit to someone isnt that what you are doing, "commiting'. I KNOW guys get bored easily, but most can find the girl that is everything they need in the bedroom. I went through some guys who having me just wasnt enough. And Ive had guys who just werent enough to please me...

I have looked at guys while in relationship and thought of them sexually. I also are no longer in those relationships. I am completly happy with my man, and dont have the sexual disiere for others.

Sex can be borning with the same person If you let it... Which most couple sink into. I will pretty much fufil any thing he fantasizes with, need it be costumes, activity level, or "odder" things. He does the same for me...

I just have a beleif that two people can be happy and not get bored..

LennieSmall

I mind. We're both doing our best to honor God as well as respect one another. Seems like things could get messy real quick if we started going. Neither of us have had a reason to be the jealous type thus far and I'm happy for that; why provoke it? Besides, those girls are tame in comparison to me

I'm not so sure about that. When your idea of a three-way involves you, your husband (bf?), and a theoretical entity, I think every other woman would seem wild in comparison.

liftingheavy

Ive gone to two strip clubs and could honestly say I dont care for them. I just felt trashy going to them and it does nothing for me. Watching a girl cook in the kitchen is much sexier than throwing dirty rolled up dollar bills at her snatch. I like women with class.

Great Post!

Princessbrene

the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

How I feel EXACTLY!

sshap21712

I am as far from a normal person as you can get,I have been in many diffrent forms of adult entertainmen.Ive done phone sex,pictures,and managed an adult bookstore that was in a strip club. Ive known strippers and porn stars and have not met any that were they way you described.Nor was I. Me an my husband go to strip clubs,watch porn, and our relationship gets better and more amazing every year. Anything in life can cause devestaion to someone that is already devestated. Porn/stripping do not take a normal happy girl an ruin her. Many of the stripers that worked at my club have moved on in their lives to become all sorts of things,ones even a DR now. Funny i met very few woman that were the way you described. Most felt impowered

AS someone who used to go to strip clubs a lot, I agree. Most of the women there ARE empowered. They are getting hundreds to thousands of dollars a night from guys who (usually) can't even touch them. Who's exploiting who?

Fieldsy

Ive gone to two strip clubs and could honestly say I dont care for them. I just felt trashy going to them and it does nothing for me. Watching a girl cook in the kitchen is much sexier than throwing dirty rolled up dollar bills at her snatch. I like women with class.
Edited by Fieldsy on Wed 04/11/12 02:55 PM

I will also add this is how I felt whether I was single or involved with someone...

JustJennie1

the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.

He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.

There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.

Beezil

Never had to worry about mine going to a strip club, he's always said he doesn't have an interest in it at all. If he wanted to, it would be a problem for me, yes. It's not just about being made to feel insecure with my body, but also jealousy. Yes, I get jealous when he looks at other women. Why shouldn't I? He's MY husband, who I married. If he wanted to look at other women, experience them, and think about them sexually, he shouldn't have gotten into a committed relationship.

I also don't want him looking at porn. I've talked to him about it and explained why it hurts me, and he eventually stopped when he finally understood. Just because you're not touching the person, doesn't mean it's not cheating. Sure, maybe it's not as bad, but it's still a degree of cheating. Phone sex or cyber sex would seriously bother some people I'm sure if they found out their spouse was doing those things - and for me, if he's looking at other women naked, it's just another way for him to cheat without really touching those women. I've looked at porn many times, yes, and you know what I found out? It bothers him JUST as much as it bothers me when he does it. I have never once felt good about myself after looking at other men naked. It always ends up with me feeling terribly guilty and disgusted with myself - so I don't do it anymore.

Your poor husband! Porn is cheating? Really? Is him talking to and looking at another woman at work he considers attractive cheating as well?

Not necessarily. I suppose that depends on whether or not he's thinking about sleeping with her while he's talking to her. If my husband had such an issue with me not wanting him to look at porn, I really don't think he would have gotten married to me years later. I never said you or anyone had to agree with my point of view. I don't see how it's your place to judge me for mine either. I actually just had a small debate with my husband about this, just now, and some interesting points were made on both sides.

I have no issue with strip clubs. If a single man wants to go, great. If a married man or a man in a relationship wants to go, I think he should be sure that it's not going to hurt the person he is with first. That is what a relationship is about, equal respect and consideration for the other. Sometimes we can compromise what we want for the other, and sometimes we cannot. Sometimes a relationship ends over things that can't be compromised on - it's really about discussion, communication, honesty, and emotion for me.

If my husband was honestly going to see nude or partially nude women dancing for purely entertainment purposes only, I would be okay with it, but only if he wanted me to come along. Then it would be a shared experience and I would imagine it could bring us closer. That said, I don't really know 100% for sure how I'd feel in that situation, since we've never done something like that together. We watched porn together a few times, and me being immature as I am, laughed almost the entire time. It wasn't a bad experience though, albeit slightly awkward for me and him as well I think. But, I wasn't bothered by him looking, because I was with him the entire time experiencing it as well. It wasn't like some dirty little secret, or something he felt he needed to do without me because I would ruin it. I think when most men look at porn, they are doing it for one reason alone - to get off.

It is another thing entirely if a man in a committed relationship is going to a cheap strip club knowingly for the sole purpose of being aroused by other women. And honestly, you can ask a man what his reasons are, but how many of them do you think would give you the truth? At least I feel my husband is honest with me about it, in saying he would only be interested in going to an upscale place for the beauty and art of it - and even that doesn't interest him enough to go. He would have no problems with taking me along, either. That is enough for me and makes me feel secure in our relationship.

CallieM15

the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.

He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.

There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.

Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?

Fieldsy

the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.

He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.

There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.

There is a difference between a girl at the beach and a girl getting dollar bills thrown at her snatch/shoving it in his face

Phoenix59

My husband is a retired Navy sailor. He's been to strip clubs all over the world. Any club in the U.S. is a Disney movie, according to him, compared to what he's seen, so he really has no interest in going. That being said, we do cross the border from time to time, where the strip clubs are a bit more "adventurous." I'm another one who doesn't care where he gets his appetite, I know exactly what to serve up!

JustJennie1

the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.

He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.

There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.

Again: Why stay with someone if you are lusting/temped/not content with the person your with?

So an attached man looking at a pretty girl or vice versa means you're lusting/tempted/not content with the person you're with? If you think your man isn't looking at other women you live in a bubble.

liftingheavy

the man I marry would not be in a place of temptation. I'm not prude, I understand that men have their needs, but my husband should come to me to have his needs met and same with/for me. If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

So the man you marry wouldn't be allowed to go the beach because the girls running around in skimpy bikini's showing off their assets might be tempting.

He wouldn't be able to walk down the street because there might be an extremely attractive girl in a short skirt that he might be tempted to look at.

There are a lot of situations outside of a strip club that could be considered tempting.

Seeing attractive women on a day-to-day basis is a given. I do not think any of us are suggesting that we lock our men at home, or prevent them from working and walking down the street. It's a very different thing to be happy about the fact that they want to see random naked women straddling poles and what not. Or worse, feel they need to occasionally to "add some spice" to their relationship. It's crazy to me. I do not judge any of the women here who do not have a problem with it, hey - it's your relationship.

But I do resent the suggestion that I'm a prude or "blissfully unaware" that ALL men, including mine go to strip clubs, and that it's normal, healthy and sexy. TO ME, it's not. I'd feel so weird feeding my BF dinner and then sending him out to the nearest strip joint with a smile. He would probably think I'd gone crazy.

liftingheavy

My husband is a retired Navy sailor. He's been to strip clubs all over the world. Any club in the U.S. is a Disney movie, according to him, compared to what he's seen, so he really has no interest in going. That being said, we do cross the border from time to time, where the strip clubs are a bit more "adventurous." I'm another one who doesn't care where he gets his appetite, I know exactly what to serve up!

NOT judging. But I swear, in that situation, I would feel like a receptacle, and nothing more. Grosses me out.

Vodkha

Guys think about other women sexually ALL THE TIME. I'm sure some even think about that hot girl from the office while banging their wife. Is that cheating? Those of you who say watching a stripper and porn is cheating must think that your man merely THINKING of another woman sexually means he is cheating?

ChristineMarie89

do i getta go??? lol

ashnm88

I wouldn't care since I'd probably go with him.