MFP Meanies :(

BAMFMeredith

Hey everyone. So I started a topic today by asking a simple question regarding exercise and people laughed at me. They were a few nicer ones who helped out alot but others kept quoting and laughing. I don't think any question is dumb when you are now starting out with healthy living....i think you should be asking questions everyday,

Not everyone is encouraging. They would actually make you wanna leave MFP......

Dont be so sensitive, this is the Internet after all. Shrug them off, take what little you did learn, and move forward. (:

This. It's easy to be a bully with a keyboard and monitor. The people who are mean to you are probably not the kind of people you'd surround yourself with in real life, so why give them any of your time online?

Exactly. This, coming from somebody who is probably viewed as a mean person or whatever, is exactly right. My bluntness probably doesn't agree with you, so we probably wouldn't be friends in regular life. Find people who have the same personality and who approach things the same way, as I have, and you'll be just fine.

Chipmaniac

I see many people saying that the "meanies" or "bullies" are insecure, miserable deep down, have nothing better to do, jealous, etc...isn't that "bullying" too? If I'm mean, it's ok to say those things about me because, well, I'm mean and I have it coming to me? So, it's ok to make up assumptions about a person and talk down about them if they were mean first? Is that the message I'm getting here?

At least I admit that I'm mean. And admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Or the first step to finding like-minded people to be your friends. Or whatever.

Yeah. Right. It's bullying to call a bully what they are: A bully. Uh huh.

Please re-read what I posted. Nowhere did I say it was bullying to call someone a bully. Reading comprehension is your friend.

It's right there in the quote. Here it is again for your reading pleasure:

I see many people saying that the "meanies" or "bullies" are insecure, miserable deep down, have nothing better to do, jealous, etc...isn't that "bullying" too?

So, according to you it's ok to call a bully, a bully as long as you don't speculate about why the person is a bully. Did I get the nuance of your sublime argument correct?

Dude, can you read? I said that isn't saying that those people (i.e. meanies or bullies) are insecure, miserable deep down, have nothing better to do, jealous also bullying? Not calling them what they are, but making assumptions about their life. Jesus.

Dude, can you read? I encapsulated your argument beautfiully:

So, according to you it's ok to call a bully, a bully as long as you don't speculate about why the person is a bully.

Instead of confirming my correct elucidation of your stance, you get all huffy and simply say what I said but in a much less cogent fashion. Got it.

No, actually, you didn't. You can speculate ALL you want about why somebody is the way they are. You can wonder about it. We all do. But flat out saying "this person who I don't know at all is rude becuase of this" as if it's a fact is no better than the original bully.

Additionally, using uncommon words to try and belittle me (as if to assume I don't know what they mean or that I'm uneducated or something) is hilarious. You're no better than I am, sir, you're just more passive aggressive about it.

What uncommon words? Was that what caused the delay in your response? You had to look them up? Sorry, I didn't mean to talk over your head. I work among smart people. I can sometimes forget when conversing with the general population. I apologize.

Sarahbara76

I post something awhile ago..almost a year ago and got every opinion and I did it just to see what people would say. And they said a lot. Not everybody agrees and what I think is funny or clever others think is lame and mean. I am above all else here for support and I can tell you through all the responses I got my answer and some of the (meanest) were the best answer I could have gotten. I just had to find the thread of good intention weaved in a sarcastic blurb. I am friends with some of those folks now and I adore them for being the way they are! Good luck and laugh about this later :drinker:
Your open and ask questions that's a great start!

You just have to learn to read between the mean lines

Exactly ..I wonder where people like you have been all my life? :laugh:

SwannySez

I don't understand this mindset at all. If a few strangers posting funny/sarcastic comments on the world wide web hurts you so deeply, I wonder how you manage to get through your daily life. I see this as a result of the entitlement attitude, where people seem to think they are entitled to be treated like a princess and coddled no matter how ridiculous they are being. The world is not a kind place, you can either learn to deal and stop moaning or continue to expect that people will be psychic and know what offends you and change the environment so that the world revolves around you. Except the world does not revolve around you, nor should it.

I don't agree. People rarely say the things online in person to a stranger. Civility is easily lost on the internet.

This is patently ridiculous. I have met dozens upon dozens of people with whom I have interacted on message boards and in forums. Ya know what they ALL said? "You're exactly the same person in real life as you are online."

I'm way to lazy to be someone else.

macpatti

Don't even bother with this guy.

I actually agree with much of what he has said. Calling out a bully or a mean person for what they are does not make you "just as bad as they are". Calling out a bully may not ever change the behavior of the bully, but it will show victimis of bullying that there are people out there who care to speak up. If enough people spoke up and called out someone for being a bully, more people would do it. If more people did it, maybe we'd have fewer bullies.

I'm not familiar with the OP, the orginial thread, nor am I here to condone her starting a thread just to talk about meanies. I am commenting because I happen to agree with some of the comments here.

You can be snarky without being *****y. You can provide constructive criticism without belittling. You can disagree with someone without making them feel humiliated. You can be sarcastic without being cruel. There are differences.

Axels91

Ok mister. She was talking saying calling meanies and bullies, insecure, miserable deep down...


do you get it now?

whaaaa?????
y u no speak english?

badgerbadger1

I don't understand this mindset at all. If a few strangers posting funny/sarcastic comments on the world wide web hurts you so deeply, I wonder how you manage to get through your daily life. I see this as a result of the entitlement attitude, where people seem to think they are entitled to be treated like a princess and coddled no matter how ridiculous they are being. The world is not a kind place, you can either learn to deal and stop moaning or continue to expect that people will be psychic and know what offends you and change the environment so that the world revolves around you. Except the world does not revolve around you, nor should it.

You cannot control other people's behaviour, you can only control your own. You are fully in control of how you react to things and choose to whine and complain about all the "jerks", call people who disagree with you mentally inferior or jealous, or go running to the mods and cry about what a special flower you are and how the universe is against you.

This isn't kindergarten. Surely you people know how to solve your problems without looking for validation, tattling, and being passive aggressive by posting these sorts of threads. Surely you are provided with the gift of insight. wherein you recognize that this type of whining is precisely the behaviour that you are complaining about. Surely you recognize that you are being patently ridiculous in demanding that the entire site and it's population cater to your demands.

I'm sorry that some of you had parents who apparently didn't prepare you for the realities of adult life, it surely won't be easy to get through life day after day.

You've got it wrong. People on the Internet particularly feel that they are entitled to be mean. They are cowards that hide behind anonymity. Well, unless you are mean in real life too. If so, I commend you for your consistency of character.

I disagree. I would say the same thing to your face. And you are making the errors that I mentioned above, complaining about others' behaviour instead of choosing a different way to react to it. Concluding that "it's all the people on the internet who are responsible for what's wrong in my life" instead of recognizing that you have unrealistic expectations.

OK. I'll try to be nice then. I commend you for your consistency of character.

And there again is the difference. You choose to assume I have a character flaw for talking sense, whereas I really don't care what some random dude on the internet thinks of me and am secure in my sense of self. Keep going, you're a shining example of what I stated.

BAMFMeredith

I see many people saying that the "meanies" or "bullies" are insecure, miserable deep down, have nothing better to do, jealous, etc...isn't that "bullying" too? If I'm mean, it's ok to say those things about me because, well, I'm mean and I have it coming to me? So, it's ok to make up assumptions about a person and talk down about them if they were mean first? Is that the message I'm getting here?

At least I admit that I'm mean. And admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Or the first step to finding like-minded people to be your friends. Or whatever.

Yeah. Right. It's bullying to call a bully what they are: A bully. Uh huh.

Please re-read what I posted. Nowhere did I say it was bullying to call someone a bully. Reading comprehension is your friend.

It's right there in the quote. Here it is again for your reading pleasure:

I see many people saying that the "meanies" or "bullies" are insecure, miserable deep down, have nothing better to do, jealous, etc...isn't that "bullying" too?

So, according to you it's ok to call a bully, a bully as long as you don't speculate about why the person is a bully. Did I get the nuance of your sublime argument correct?

Dude, can you read? I said that isn't saying that those people (i.e. meanies or bullies) are insecure, miserable deep down, have nothing better to do, jealous also bullying? Not calling them what they are, but making assumptions about their life. Jesus.

Dude, can you read? I encapsulated your argument beautfiully:

So, according to you it's ok to call a bully, a bully as long as you don't speculate about why the person is a bully.

Instead of confirming my correct elucidation of your stance, you get all huffy and simply say what I said but in a much less cogent fashion. Got it.

No, actually, you didn't. You can speculate ALL you want about why somebody is the way they are. You can wonder about it. We all do. But flat out saying "this person who I don't know at all is rude becuase of this" as if it's a fact is no better than the original bully.

Additionally, using uncommon words to try and belittle me (as if to assume I don't know what they mean or that I'm uneducated or something) is hilarious. You're no better than I am, sir, you're just more passive aggressive about it.

What uncommon words? Was that what caused the delay in your response? You had to look them up? Sorry, I didn't mean to talk over your head. I work among smart people. I can sometimes forget when conversing with the general population. I apologize.

CUTE. No, there was a delay because I don't hover over my computer refreshing my screen every 5 seconds. I work with intelligent people as well. I went to college, I am educated. Like I said, at least I'm honest about being mean. I'd rather be up front about it than be passive aggressive.

mrmanmeat

Hey everyone. So I started a topic today by asking a simple question regarding exercise and people laughed at me. They were a few nicer ones who helped out alot but others kept quoting and laughing. I don't think any question is dumb when you are now starting out with healthy living....i think you should be asking questions everyday,

Not everyone is encouraging. They would actually make you wanna leave MFP......

If you leave MFP b/c of what someone on the internet said, you need to check your sensitivity levels.
Also, search for your topic, chances are it's been covered.

Enjoy

Chipmaniac

I don't understand this mindset at all. If a few strangers posting funny/sarcastic comments on the world wide web hurts you so deeply, I wonder how you manage to get through your daily life. I see this as a result of the entitlement attitude, where people seem to think they are entitled to be treated like a princess and coddled no matter how ridiculous they are being. The world is not a kind place, you can either learn to deal and stop moaning or continue to expect that people will be psychic and know what offends you and change the environment so that the world revolves around you. Except the world does not revolve around you, nor should it.

You cannot control other people's behaviour, you can only control your own. You are fully in control of how you react to things and choose to whine and complain about all the "jerks", call people who disagree with you mentally inferior or jealous, or go running to the mods and cry about what a special flower you are and how the universe is against you.

This isn't kindergarten. Surely you people know how to solve your problems without looking for validation, tattling, and being passive aggressive by posting these sorts of threads. Surely you are provided with the gift of insight. wherein you recognize that this type of whining is precisely the behaviour that you are complaining about. Surely you recognize that you are being patently ridiculous in demanding that the entire site and it's population cater to your demands.

I'm sorry that some of you had parents who apparently didn't prepare you for the realities of adult life, it surely won't be easy to get through life day after day.

You've got it wrong. People on the Internet particularly feel that they are entitled to be mean. They are cowards that hide behind anonymity. Well, unless you are mean in real life too. If so, I commend you for your consistency of character.

I disagree. I would say the same thing to your face. And you are making the errors that I mentioned above, complaining about others' behaviour instead of choosing a different way to react to it. Concluding that "it's all the people on the internet who are responsible for what's wrong in my life" instead of recognizing that you have unrealistic expectations.

OK. I'll try to be nice then. I commend you for your consistency of character.

And there again is the difference. You choose to assume I have a character flaw for talking sense, whereas I really don't care what some random dude on the internet thinks of me and am secure in my sense of self. Keep going, you're a shining example of what I stated.

I didn't say you have a character flaw. I paid you a compliment. Can you not accept one? Insecure much?

Jules2Be

mmmm. this popcorn is good...meant to stop reading this a few pages backed but i cant walk away.

Axels91

I don't understand this mindset at all. If a few strangers posting funny/sarcastic comments on the world wide web hurts you so deeply, I wonder how you manage to get through your daily life. I see this as a result of the entitlement attitude, where people seem to think they are entitled to be treated like a princess and coddled no matter how ridiculous they are being. The world is not a kind place, you can either learn to deal and stop moaning or continue to expect that people will be psychic and know what offends you and change the environment so that the world revolves around you. Except the world does not revolve around you, nor should it.

I don't agree. People rarely say the things online in person to a stranger. Civility is easily lost on the internet.

This is patently ridiculous. I have met dozens upon dozens of people with whom I have interacted on message boards and in forums. Ya know what they ALL said? "You're exactly the same person in real life as you are online."

I'm way to lazy to be someone else.

the barrier of thousands of miles can turn a 35 year old man into a 16 year old girl. don't overestimate the honesty.

BAMFMeredith

Don't even bother with this guy.

I actually agree with much of what he has said. Calling out a bully or a mean person for what they are does not make you "just as bad as they are". Calling out a bully may not ever change the behavior of the bully, but it will show victimis of bullying that there are people out there who care to speak up. If enough people spoke up and called out someone for being a bully, more people would do it. If more people did it, maybe we'd have fewer bullies.

I'm not familiar with the OP, the orginial thread, nor am I here to condone her starting a thread just to talk about meanies. I am commenting because I happen to agree with some of the comments here.

You can be snarky without being *****y. You can provide constructive criticism without belittling. You can disagree with someone without making them feel humiliated. You can be sarcastic without being cruel. There are differences.

You're missing my point as much as he was. There is a difference in calling somebody out for being a bully, and doing the exact same thing back to them like belittling them, making up assumptions about their personal lives, saying they're miserable people, etc. Talking *kitten* is talking *kitten*. Doesn't matter who you are.

Beezil

I find it kinda funny that this is a thread about not wanting people to be mean... and then all these mean people show up, being mean. :huh:

badgerbadger1

I don't understand this mindset at all. If a few strangers posting funny/sarcastic comments on the world wide web hurts you so deeply, I wonder how you manage to get through your daily life. I see this as a result of the entitlement attitude, where people seem to think they are entitled to be treated like a princess and coddled no matter how ridiculous they are being. The world is not a kind place, you can either learn to deal and stop moaning or continue to expect that people will be psychic and know what offends you and change the environment so that the world revolves around you. Except the world does not revolve around you, nor should it.

You cannot control other people's behaviour, you can only control your own. You are fully in control of how you react to things and choose to whine and complain about all the "jerks", call people who disagree with you mentally inferior or jealous, or go running to the mods and cry about what a special flower you are and how the universe is against you.

This isn't kindergarten. Surely you people know how to solve your problems without looking for validation, tattling, and being passive aggressive by posting these sorts of threads. Surely you are provided with the gift of insight. wherein you recognize that this type of whining is precisely the behaviour that you are complaining about. Surely you recognize that you are being patently ridiculous in demanding that the entire site and it's population cater to your demands.

I'm sorry that some of you had parents who apparently didn't prepare you for the realities of adult life, it surely won't be easy to get through life day after day.

You've got it wrong. People on the Internet particularly feel that they are entitled to be mean. They are cowards that hide behind anonymity. Well, unless you are mean in real life too. If so, I commend you for your consistency of character.

I disagree. I would say the same thing to your face. And you are making the errors that I mentioned above, complaining about others' behaviour instead of choosing a different way to react to it. Concluding that "it's all the people on the internet who are responsible for what's wrong in my life" instead of recognizing that you have unrealistic expectations.

OK. I'll try to be nice then. I commend you for your consistency of character.

And there again is the difference. You choose to assume I have a character flaw for talking sense, whereas I really don't care what some random dude on the internet thinks of me and am secure in my sense of self. Keep going, you're a shining example of what I stated.

I didn't say you have a character flaw. I paid you a compliment. Can you not accept one? Insecure much?

"ok I'll try to be nice then, I commend you on your consistency in character" is a backhanded compliment, we all know what you meant. I am not 5 years old, and therefore I see what you did there.

PS "insecure much?" is again, you assuming that I am flawed because I don't agree that people should be treated as special flowers on the interwebs.

Dang, I feel like a therapist.

MrsSorenson

I don't appreciate those type of MFP people either. But learn to move past their negativity and find friends on here who encourage and don't judge. Feel free to add me if you need a nice friend!

DisneySkaGirl

I thought it was a good question actually. I know that menstrating women should not do yoga or situps, so what is wrong wtih your question. Ignore them. Who cares what they think, they are not your friends Friend me if you need a good friend

May I ask why you think menstruating women should not do that? I have never heard of that.

some positions in yoga yes (because they can greatly increasy blood flow), but situps? :huh: i suppose that means i have somehow roll myself into a standing position if i'm laying down while on my period?

i'm also curious as to what the medical basis is for these ideas come from since some of them are so clearly not based on biology. or maybe they are based on the biology of people with additional issues (PCOS, hormonal imbalances, etc) that they try to make the exception the rule for everyone.

I have always heard and experienced the exact opposite, more movement and exercise (of any variety), makes me feel a million times better and less crampy. I may not feel like doing it, but I feel better after i get going.

Also, the blood shed during a period is only that which was lining the uterus to prepare for a fertilized embryo. It's not really connected to the rest of your blood, and the reason you might experience more flow when you're active is pretty much just due to gravity. I barely bleed while I sleep for that exact reason. The amount of blood loss is only influened by how much your reproductive system builds up your uterine wall.

macpatti

You're missing my point as much as he was. There is a difference in calling somebody out for being a bully, and doing the exact same thing back to them like belittling them, making up assumptions about their personal lives, saying they're miserable people, etc. Talking *kitten* is talking *kitten*. Doesn't matter who you are.

No, I totally get what you're trying to say, and I agree with you to a point. No one, not even a bully, should be constantly harrassed, called names, or belittled. Sometimes it takes humiliating a bully in front of others to get him/her to stop, though. I'm not talking about "meanies of MFP" or over sensitive people getting their feelings hurt. My comments are only regarding bullies.

princessruthiebelle

i think people just like to be right and disagree for the sake of it!!

ive noticed a few people popping up in different threads, not supporting or even actually having anything worth saying

they just like to go all keyboard warrior and try to make everyone as angry as themselves!

Axels91

I find it kinda funny that this is a thread about not wanting people to be mean... and then all these mean people show up, being mean. :huh:

:bigsmile: