Why Cats Suck
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This thread sucks, not the cats!
I have a cat
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As much as I don't like cats and would probably never own one (my old roommate had 2 and they drove me crazy), the animal rescue organization I volunteer for has a whole "bottle baby" center where they bottle feed kittens that are too little for regular food and have been separated from the mother...and OMG. There is almost nothing cuter than bottle feeding some tiny little kittens (and puppies).
Love bottle babies and their tiny paws...
Oh God I know...they're just SO TINY. It's like they don't even know they're alive! They're pretty damn cute.
My favorite is when they drink so furiously that their little ears twitch.... ut oh...i need a kitten fix.0 -
I love cats ! Mine does get on my nerves sometimes tho LOL
^^ THIS ^^
Dogs are man's best friends. Cats allow you to 'serve' them.0 -
Everytime you masterbate god kills a kitten, that is WHY I masterbate.
umm..whatever gets the job done for you I guess?..0 -
ROTFLMAO!! HA ha ha ha
Ok wasn't going to add my sarcastic response (as I own a cat for ****s sake and he would know I said it) And we own a dog, the dog just hasn't eaten him yet. And the cat prob thinks he owns us right?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
After my stupid dog dies I will only have cats! Cats = awesomeness! Why you ask?
I can go out of town without having to find somewhere for my cat to stay. I just put her outside, open up a bag of cat food, and she's there when I get back. My dog would surely perish because he needs our love and affection to validate him.
Cats destroy things with their claws. Although my cat is not declawed because she doesn't tear up, they can be. It's kind of in bad taste to de-teeth a dog. My dog has cost me shoes, baseboards, carpet, kids barbie dolls, panties...the list goes on.
My cat food for 1 month = $4 My dog food 1 month = $30
My cat never goes to the vet and just lives...11 years so far. My dog always has to go for something, and he acts a donkey the whole time we're there.
My cat never stinks, my dog always does and bathing him is pain in the a**.
My cat knows how to cross the street. My dog would surely perish.
I could go on...0 -
Chalk up another vote for hate domestic house cats. Basically a useless species.
On the farm we would keep a couple feral cats for mousing purposes but every year we would have to shoot a pile of them as they are prolific breeders. We didn't want/need 12-20 cats on the property. Three or four were enough.
Fox however love cat and we did have some awesome fox hunting around the farm.
Why didn't you just get them fixed so they couldn't breed?0 -
I love cats ! Mine does get on my nerves sometimes tho LOL
Haha so true!!! But that's why I love cats, they're clever and you gotta work for their attention haha. Although my kitty greets me
By the way, the cat in the bottom picture looks like my one! Sooo cute!!!0 -
I married two cats. Rhino and Flicka. I understand the appeal. I see how they bond with my daughters and wife. But.....
the litter box, the peeing and yorked-up hairballs or partially digested cat-kibble on carpets, bed, furniture, drapes, etc, the caterwalling, and the fundamental uselessness (at least the dog is a sort of security system) all convince me that were I on my own, there would be no cats.
Cats don't suck. Having a cat sucks.0 -
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture...Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Again I say....:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Booohahahaha0 -
Chalk up another vote for hate domestic house cats. Basically a useless species.
On the farm we would keep a couple feral cats for mousing purposes but every year we would have to shoot a pile of them as they are prolific breeders. We didn't want/need 12-20 cats on the property. Three or four were enough.
Fox however love cat and we did have some awesome fox hunting around the farm.
Why didn't you just get them fixed so they couldn't breed?
Because then he couldn't shoot them, Duh!0 -
Everytime you masterbate god kills a kitten, that is WHY I masterbate.
I thought it was every time you make a powerpoint, Edward Tufte kills a kitten. My employer must really hate cats.0 -
I can go out of town without having to find somewhere for my cat to stay. I just put her outside, open up a bag of cat food, and she's there when I get back. My dog would surely perish because he needs our love and affection to validate him.
Ever wonder how many birds she is out there killing while you are gone all week? We usually recommend our neighbors keep their cats inside at all times. Sure would hate to have something "happen" to them.0 -
My sisters cat sucks because when I try to do crunches she lies on top of me and won't go away. LOL
Nah, cats don't suck, I like em.0 -
Why didn't you just get them fixed so they couldn't breed?
It's not like we went out and bought cats. They just show up. Usually already feral. They weren't worth $0.10 to us. We darn sure weren't going to take the time to catch them, treat them, spade/neuter them, etc.0 -
I can go out of town without having to find somewhere for my cat to stay. I just put her outside, open up a bag of cat food, and she's there when I get back. My dog would surely perish because he needs our love and affection to validate him.
Ever wonder how many birds she is out there killing while you are gone all week? We usually recommend our neighbors keep their cats inside at all times. Sure would hate to have something "happen" to them.
So you basically threaten your neighbours? Nice.0 -
My cat sucked on daughters pillow pet...that is until I washed it, now she wants nothing to do with it. HEY....maybe we should wash all the cats!0
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My cat has been known to suck on my hand at times. Cats have this spot on their back, that their mothers used to lick to get them to nurse. If you find that spot and rub it, they will usually start acting super strange and sometimes suck on anything nearby (mine has been known to suck my hand as I mentioned, the floor and the couch). So weird.Actually I don't think they have the ability to suck, due to how their mouths are constructed.0 -
Not threaten, warn. If a person can't take care of their cat/dog and it is on our property causing damage we have every legal right to solve the problem ourselves.0
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You should get a new job. I don't care how quiet it is, who wants to work in an *kitten* office?O-M-G I just cracked up in my quiet *kitten* office HILARIOUS!!0 -
I have many animals, but my two cats are my babies. I could ramble all day about how much I love them, like the crazy cat lady in training I am. Maybe I should start a thread called "Why Children Suck". I'll stick with cats :-P0
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Because I am soo allergic to them.................. And I want one so bad, :sad:
^^^ I'm sorry :sad: I couldn't stand one day in my house without my cats. they are so hilarious. My kitten is a little instigator, but she is absolutely freaking hilarious when she is hyper. She runs back & forth in the hallway, sliding on the dog bed back the hall, jumps up at the wall for no reason, comes running at us sideways with her tail puffy, will come barreling in the living room and up onto my chest, purring away. One of our other cats has finally started playing with her, and they are hilarious together, chasing each other, batting pieces of sticks back and forth with each other. I love cats so much, that was one thing that I had to find in a guy, was a guy who also loved cats. And thankfully, I did.
If he hadn't, he wouldn't have been allowed in my life. Even if they do something that makes me mad, I just have to look at them and they make me :happy: 0 -
I love my kitty..He's like my som. I found him when he was two young to be away from his momy, he was malnourished. I took him in and nursed him to health with a baby bottle and some kitten formula. Because I raised him he has become the best cat in the world. He lets us know when something wrong, He tells us what he wants and he doesn't mind being slung over my daughters shoulder like a ragdoll. When she calls him he comes by name, not for me though or anyone else...just her. he is always sleeping with her too..nomatter where she is he's right there, It's absolutely adorable. I normally "dislike" cats and dogs ( as pets for myself)...but "Garfield" is an exception:)0
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Not threaten, warn. If a person can't take care of their cat/dog and it is on our property causing damage we have every legal right to solve the problem ourselves.
I still haven't decided if you are a great troll or just an *kitten*.0 -
bump....i want to come back and creep on all the cute cat Memes hahaha0
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Not threaten, warn. If a person can't take care of their cat/dog and it is on our property causing damage we have every legal right to solve the problem ourselves.
I still haven't decided if you are a great troll or just an *kitten*.
*kitten* would be the correct answer. If you ever want to leave the safety of your concrete jungle and come to the country to see how the real world is. Let me know, I will be happy to show you what happens in the real world.0 -
I can go out of town without having to find somewhere for my cat to stay. I just put her outside, open up a bag of cat food, and she's there when I get back. My dog would surely perish because he needs our love and affection to validate him.
Ever wonder how many birds she is out there killing while you are gone all week? We usually recommend our neighbors keep their cats inside at all times. Sure would hate to have something "happen" to them.
No I don't wonder about it at all. My cats kills lots of things. She is a cat. And since my neighbors don't have a problem with my cat killing random birds, I'm golden.0 -
Oh yeah, I forgot about this one. My cat will 'pump' her little paws on my arm or leg and put her nose on me and slobber while she kneads. When she's done doing whatever it is she's doing, she will shake her head and the slobber flies everywhere. This morning it flew into my coffee and onto my laptop. It's so annoying. Maybe she's like a man, never breastfed long enough so she always wants more boob. IDK.0
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When I left my husband, he told me the cat was waiting for me by the door to come home from work at 6pm everyday for 2 weeks.0
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Love that cat diary!
I think cats are super-cool....but I have bad cat allergies. So, I'm a dog person!0
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