Why Cats Suck

fitnesspirateninja

Cats are *kitten*... but I'm quiet and I like to read. I love hanging out with cats. Maybe I'm an *kitten*, too.

JodieElijah

I've never seen a cat fetch me a pheasant or duck. Or fight off an intruder to protect their owner. That is why cats suck.

I've never seen a dog fetch me a pheasant or a duck. And nor would I want to.

I do believe we'll just have to agree to disagree.

GeneveSparkles

O-M-G I just cracked up in my quiet *kitten* office HILARIOUS!!

You should get a new job. I don't care how quiet it is, who wants to work in an *kitten* office?

"quiet-*kitten* office" there you go!! Those hyphens really do make a difference lol

Would a Proctologist's office be considered an "*kitten* office"??

If only I was a proctologist. Wait I take that back ....

Enough abouth *kitten* back to (p)ussys hahaha

Ruger2506

Cause they teabag your computer monitor...

Is that a Naked Mole Rat?

n25philly

Ruger2506

I do believe we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Fair enough.

Nucky719

After my stupid dog dies I will only have cats! Cats = awesomeness! Why you ask?

I can go out of town without having to find somewhere for my cat to stay. I just put her outside, open up a bag of cat food, and she's there when I get back. My dog would surely perish because he needs our love and affection to validate him.

Cats destroy things with their claws. Although my cat is not declawed because she doesn't tear up, they can be. It's kind of in bad taste to de-teeth a dog. My dog has cost me shoes, baseboards, carpet, kids barbie dolls, panties...the list goes on.

My cat food for 1 month = $4 My dog food 1 month = $30

My cat never goes to the vet and just lives...11 years so far. My dog always has to go for something, and he acts a donkey the whole time we're there.

My cat never stinks, my dog always does and bathing him is pain in the a**.

My cat knows how to cross the street. My dog would surely perish.

I could go on...

You're on the wrong thread, sweetie. Read the title, maybe?

Cats suck because only a few of them can show genuine affection and love for their owners; because they scratch and bite, even if they "love" you; because you can't train something that stubborn; because they like to lay in the most annoying places; because they always break the window blinds; because they shed like crazy; because they are evil; because they are moody all the time; because there are too many of them in the streets.

Dogs, on the other hand, are awesome and if you can't handle yours, it's because you're not a responsible owner and didn't teach your dog not to eat things. So please, after your dog dies (that's a very nice thing to say about your own pet, btw), don't own another dog for the future dog's sake :P

Oh dang I hope I hope my dog is not reading this!

NoAdditives

Kittens are ok. But cats. Ugh. No me gusta.

It's like they just sit there all day and say "screw you, I'm a cat, I do what I want." I'm SO much more a dog person

A. It depends on the cat.

B. It depends on the person they're dealing with. If they sense you don't like them they will not be friendly.

Jules2Be

Not threaten, warn. If a person can't take care of their cat/dog and it is on our property causing damage we have every legal right to solve the problem ourselves.

I still haven't decided if you are a great troll or just an *kitten*.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

NoAdditives

I have two great cats. One sleeps with me every night, the other sleeps with one of my kids. She cuddles with my baby every chance she gets. She's also a great guard cat. If she hears someone she doesn't know or any suspicious noise outside she runs to the nearest window and growls until they leave/the noise stops.

In general, cats only suck if they know you don't like them. I have only met one cat, ever, that was psycho.

Silverkittycat

I've never seen a cat fetch me a pheasant or duck. Or fight off an intruder to protect their owner. That is why cats suck.

Clearly you've never had one curl up in your lap and purr. Have you?

Ruger2506

I've never seen a cat fetch me a pheasant or duck. Or fight off an intruder to protect their owner. That is why cats suck.

Clearly you've never had one curl up in your lap and purr. Have you?

More times than care to count. I never saw what all the hype was.

MikeSEA

I don't think generalizations across species work very well. Generalizations in breeds are a little better, but still off sometimes.

Some cat breeds are fiercely loyal to their people, and can get a little aggressive about it. In that way, people think they behave like dogs, but it's just how they are. The maine coon cats I've dealt with are so laid back and had great personalities.

I really dislike a lot of the smaller breeds of dogs. I tend to dislike tiny yappy dogs. Whenever I see a jack russell I want to put it in a tiny glass box and watch it whirl around in circles until it somehow creates a quantum singularity. I tend to go for german shepherds, labs, etc. It has nothing to do with them being "useful" for anything. They're just more my speed.

Cheryl943

Kittens are ok. But cats. Ugh. No me gusta.

It's like they just sit there all day and say "screw you, I'm a cat, I do what I want." I'm SO much more a dog person

cats rule and dogs DROOL

TubbsMcGee

They poop in a box in the house.

...and then after digging around in said box with their paws, they proceed to walk all over the counter tops and sleep on babies faces. Poo paws gettin all up ins.
They don't do any tricks or come when called. When someone breaks into the house, they don't attack the intruder or make a peep to alert anyone that a stranger is in the house.
The only time I've let a stinky cat curl up in my lap, someone tried to break into the house and kick down the door. Know what the stupid cat did? It jumped on my face and clawed its way down my chest, scared.

And they certainly don't make good jogging buddies. Unless you have a sparkly piece of string hanging out of your back pocket.

Please look up "toxoplasmosis" if you're not convinced that they do indeed suck.

Cheryl943

Kittens are ok. But cats. Ugh. No me gusta.

It's like they just sit there all day and say "screw you, I'm a cat, I do what I want." I'm SO much more a dog person

cats rule and dogs DROOL

My cat drools when he is happy!

jpuderbaugh

how about we discuss why you suck instead?

I like this idea :drinker:

jpuderbaugh

People, cats are different from dogs. You can't expect them to do the things dogs do. But you don't have to kill them because of it. I really hate people who hate cats. control freaks.

bluebird321

We foster a different cat every month or so, some suck, but others are very sweet and affectionate. I'm a dog guy, but I have to admit the cats have grown on me.

Diary_Queen

My very, very favorite.

Cat Haiku

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that

Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp....

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much"

Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt.

penrbrown

They poop in a box in the house.

...and then after digging around in said box with their paws, they proceed to walk all over the counter tops and sleep on babies faces. Poo paws gettin all up ins.
They don't do any tricks or come when called. When someone breaks into the house, they don't attack the intruder or make a peep to alert anyone that a stranger is in the house.
The only time I've let a stinky cat curl up in my lap, someone tried to break into the house and kick down the door. Know what the stupid cat did? It jumped on my face and clawed its way down my chest, scared.

And they certainly don't make good jogging buddies. Unless you have a sparkly piece of string hanging out of your back pocket.

Please look up "toxoplasmosis" if you're not convinced that they do indeed suck.

This was beautiful. Man, cats are so useless.

Ruger2506

This was beautiful. Man, cats are so useless.

See, I am not the only rational person. Thank goodness my fiancé hates cats as much if not more than I do.

Thesoundofwolf

I love kittywitties. Cus they're the perfect pet. No pun intended. But literally. Think about it. They're cute n'cuddly in your lap when you want it, and then leave you alone most of the time.

Like the perfect wife. -nods-

LauraMacNCheese

Reeny1_8

Almost pissed myself when I saw that!

Ohjeezitskim

I love my cat! Everytime I would walk out of my bedroom door in the morning he would come running up the stairs to say hi to me! And when I'm out late at nights usually like 2am when I come home he's waiting by the door for me. He's such a lover.

Tani_LT

Cats are awesome!

elenathegreat

Mice...I just kill them, I don't eat them...this makes me a great exterminator without "dead mouse" breath.

reneegee23

I think you forgot to put a "don't" in your topic title.

Also, we have cats to thank for 99% of the internet. Exhibit A:

elenathegreat

LUV the cute kitty pics...how cute am I, BTW?