He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?
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O_O
Get out of that relationship IMMEDIATELY. Leave him behind and NEVER look back. SERIOUSLY.
If you need help getting away from him there are services that can help you get away.
There is NO reason why ANYONE should EVER say or do ANY of the things you listed.
I can't think of ONE SINGLE EXCUSE for his completely disrespectful and demeaning behaviour towards you.
No amount of "discussing" this with him will make him change. He is stuck as the person he is now and the only way he will change is when HE sees what he's doing. And that could take decades, or never happen.
JUST. GET. OUT. NOW.0 -
My husband is the same way, except he doesn't hit me. I know this may be TMI, but he does hold me down and does things to me and keeps on even after I tell him to stop. He is always talking down to me and always says how I don't watch our kids well enough, yet he still lets me stay at home with them. I do watch them well though, but you can't watch them 24/7 like he thinks. Please leave him behind before you can't get out of it easily, like me.
I'm sorry, but to allow your children to see you treated in this manner borders on irresponsible. You deserve to be treated with respect and they deserve to live in an environment where their mother is not being abused, which is what is happening to you. If your husband keeps going when you ask him to stop he is a marital rapist. There is no other word for the scenario you described. You are allowed to say no whenever you want, whether you have that ring on or not. Please get out. Any way you can.0 -
Nobody deserves to be treated like that!!!! And don't tell me it's complicated, hard to leave etc. Make a plan and leave and don't ever look back.
How many woman would put up with that is beyond me....I swear week men find women like this and prey on them.0 -
You don't need to label it, just get yourself away from it. Pack up when he's out of the house, have a friend at the house with you when you leave. Under no circumstances try to leave while he is there, or he will try to force or manipulate you into staying. Make sure you take everything with you the first time, touch nothing of his. Leave the key on the coubter, your half of any unpaid bills, leave nothing that can be used as an excuse to get in touch. Delete him from your phone, Facebook, twitter, whatever.
This whole restricted facebook thing screams "cheater."
When in doubt, toss that trash out.0 -
That's why I will leave him.
I was in a relationship similar to this. Dumping him was the best thing I ever did. Get rid of this guy for good!!!0 -
Why yes I am.I'm sorry but..
Are you stupid?
Are you human?
Ah, just the world's first surviving heart donor, then.0 -
It's ABUSE!
And he sounds like a total jerk.
Get. Out. Now.0 -
I'm sorry but..
Are you stupid?
Seriously , I think you are the rudest person I have ever met.
Are you stupid asking someone who is being emotionally abused such a question?0 -
emotional and physical. i had an uncle who was like this, not only to my aunty, but to all of us kids too. like it was some kinda fn game to him. poke fun and flick or slap us, pull hair, call us fat. if he deleted u from his facebook, then hes hiding you from his "frineds" for one reason or another, if i let my imagination roam i can think of hundreds of ridiculous and self centered selfish reasons why he could be doing this. delete him from your life, i bet ur friends and family would likey be very glad to help you out of there.0
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If you have to ask, you know it is.0
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my daughter was married to a man like this , and she endured many a hateful coments and gestures , she left him (divorced him) they have a daughter together , i am so proud of her for leaving him she is so much happier now and remarried to a wonderful man who treats her and my dradaughter like princesses, dont stay with this man, he should love and cherrish you no matter your weight or mistakes (clogged drain please,,) you have made , good luck and you are making the right decision to leave him and dont look back . yes this is controling emotional abuse / men who have low self esteem will put down any female they can to make themselves look better , this is coming from a 51year old ,mom,daughter, wife , nurse for over 30 years i have seen it all0
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Seriously have you left yet? LEAVE NOW.0
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Get out before it is too late. Abuse , no one should be abused.0
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My husband is the same way, except he doesn't hit me. I know this may be TMI, but he does hold me down and does things to me and keeps on even after I tell him to stop. He is always talking down to me and always says how I don't watch our kids well enough, yet he still lets me stay at home with them. I do watch them well though, but you can't watch them 24/7 like he thinks. Please leave him behind before you can't get out of it easily, like me.
You need to leave this rapist as soon as you can for you and your hidden. They will be learning from you and think this is normal. I know it is harder to up and leave with kids but you bloody well need to0 -
Yeah, I would LOVE to see a man brave enough to try any of that crap with me....course I'm tall as most men & scare the **** out of them.
Leave. Now. He's a coward punk gets gratification out of hitting someone smaller. Jerk. Gawd, now I need to hit someone.
Captures exactly how I feel.
Leave him. Get out now.0 -
I am sure you have met ruder than myself.I'm sorry but..
Are you stupid?
Seriously , I think you are the rudest person I have ever met.
Are you stupid asking someone who is being emotionally abused such a question?
It was a legit question.
She's dealt with staying with him for this long, why is she waiting till a certain time to end the relationship?0 -
You are being abuse and you DO NOT have to put up with it!!! I was in a very abusive relationship for 15years. I have a moto now "I would rather me alone and happy, than with someone and miserable!" Don't put up with this for one more minute. You do not deserve to be treated this way!!! Some people like to put others down to make them feel bigger and better.0
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It really sounds like an abusive situation to me. You need to get out, if you can.0
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Please make a plan to leave NOW.
To the other poster who said she couldn't get out because she has kids, that's total BS. I left my ex 10 years ago, took the kids, our stuff and the debt. He kept the cars, house and furniture. As someone very wise told me - I left with something more important....my self respect.
In closing, posting this on a public forum is NOT the best place to get advice on these types of issues. See below....
http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/what-is-domestic-violence/
http://www.thehotline.org/get-educated/internet-safety/
Advocates with the National Domestic Violence Hotline understand that technology is ever-changing, and it can be used to jeopardize your safety or as a means to ensure your safety. For more information and help with safety planning, please contact the Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7223) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Did you know that you can monitor someone’s computer use without the user knowing?
Did you know that a “history” cannot be completely erased from a computer?
Did you know that cell phone use can be monitored?
Did you know that a global positioning system (GPS) can be placed on your car, in your purse or in your cell phone?
Did you know the some court systems are placing court records online and that they may contain personal information?
Did you know that e-mail is like a postcard and can be intercepted?
Did you know that you can find safe computers at www.ctcnet.org?
These are questions that Advocates can help answer. Technology is a powerful tool for someone leaving a domestic violence situation, and Advocates can help a caller, whether victim, friend or family member, plan to use all aspects of technology safely. For more information and support, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.0 -
Honey, it's not just emotional. The little "playful" slaps are going to eventually turn to hard slap, punches, etc. GET OUT! You deserve better! You're a smart, beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with respect, and this man clearly, is not!0
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LEAVE! before those "SLAPS" turn into "PUNCHES" He most definetely is abusing you; emotionally, mentally and physically.0
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My bf loves to get into deep conversation about politics, religions,social events..etc...
Whenever he does this , I try no to talk to much for he loves to just go on and on and on...
Then he asked me some specific questions and I answered ,,he then of course disagreed..
I disagreed again ..he then got defensive and call me stupid and said " That is the Stupiest thing I have ever heard " Last night he gave me a whole sermon bc the kitchen sink is clogged up..he said " Never ever in this house has anyone clogged up the kitchen sink drain ..it had to be .. you!" Made me feel like crap of course and told him not to be so mean about it . He makes comments about my weight and jokes on how I always like to think about food.
Last night as I laid down to sleep he looked at my belly and made a face of disgust. He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..
He tends to smack me for no reason, he says he is playing . Whenever I say something that he doesn't like , he "playfully" grabs me and " Playfully" slaps me on the face...although it's not hard ..it does hurt at times and I'm getting tired of him doing that . It's just so immature. the silly slaps on my face and my *** randomly uuggg..so tired. He then comments on when he was my age he had accomplished so much ..a profession, a good job, houses,cars ...etc... and while me I haven't done much. ...again makes me feel bad. There are times he will ridicule me in from of his daughters for either having said something wrong ..or for breaking something around the house..even if they were not there to see it ..he will tell them about the accident .
AM I Being emotional abused ?
sure feels like it ! I will be travelling far far away and will end the relationship once I'm away ..but I put this on here just so you guys can confirm that in fact I'm not crazy and this is abuse.
I'm not use to being treated like this ..That's why I will leave him.
i was in the same situation about years ago.. I dated a guy who consistantly would call me a B*tch, etc. And "playfully" slap me, make rude comments etc. After going through all of that it really puts you down. GET OUT NOW. Seriously you really need to get out! I luckily some how in the midst of him yelling at me who god knows what had an "Ahh hhh" moment and told him to eat *kitten*.. lmao but I walked out of that house with all my stuff and told him to leave me alone. And he did... Its hard to walk away but the hits get harder... which would you want?0 -
A real man does not act this way. He is no man. Just a bumb.0
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It is abuse..get away now before things turn worse. Nobody deserves to be treated that way so leave him.0
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It is very much emotional & physical abuse. You dont have to put up with it. Pack your bags & leave NOW!!0
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i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you0 -
I have 4 daughters. If any one of them would ever be treated like that I would end up in prison.
Every woman should be treated like queen by her SO. Every man should be treated like a king by his SO. If that is not happening on both sides then it is not meant to be and it is time to move on. You are clearly not being treated right. Move on.0 -
i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you
Actually, the behaviour fits pretty much every definition of abuse.
One of the reasons that women stay longer than they should in abusive relationships is because the image we have of abuse is all of the most extreme forms. You don't have to be held at gun point for it to be 'abuse'.0 -
Everyone here is right.....it will get worse. But ...just like an alcoholic who needs help...or an addict....or even me...overweight....it is not different with domestic abuse situations. You will only change and leave him if you WANT TO. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. No one can make you leave. You obviously can't change his behavior ...so I hope ...and I pray with all my heart that you WANT to leave. Everyone here can tell you that you deserve better and that you are worth more....but you have to believe it somewhere in
you soul and spirit.
Let me ask you a question....Would you ever treat anyone this way?
Why is ok for him to treat you this way?
It's not!
Praying for you and that you will have the strength to leave and know it is better to be alone than to be teased, taunted, called names, made fun of, demeaned, lied too (the FB thing is just not right either) and "slapped" around....(even in just fun play)....that's is a clear sign he is testing you to see how much he can get away with. Please please please....leave him.0 -
Uhhhhh no. It's definitely abuse. >:/ Is it just me or have all the men who have posted so far have a pretty lenient definition "abuse?" >:(i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you0
This discussion has been closed.
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