He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?

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  • giselle9938
    giselle9938 Posts: 194 Member
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    Hey wait im Canadian, is it me?-Ty

    last thing I need right now it another man..lol

    Can I have him?

    lol!!!!!!!!!!
  • Sharonks
    Sharonks Posts: 884 Member
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    Can you leave now? The sooner the better.

    It is insidious, they keep making you doubt yourself until you think you are crazy and you're the stupid, crazy, unreasonable or whatever person asking to be treated that way. Eventually, you know you are so worthless that you are lucky they are still around to abuse you. It takes years to fix this. I still go through strange bouts of worthlessness. I don't know if it will ever totally go away.

    I think my husband does a little better than I do but he spent years with an abusive wife and then moved on to an abusive gf who both convinced him he was crazy and stupid. Oh, they both also convinced him that using heavy drugs was a good thing and that there was something seriously wrong with him because he didn't believe that. He actually thought he was nuts because he didn't believe in shooting up and smoking dope in front of his kids! And he also was told he was crazy for going to work everyday, playing with his kids when he got home, and doing things like mowing lawns and working on cars on his weekend.

    Anyway, once you get away you should really get some counseling. The fact that you have stayed with this guy shows that you have some of this type of damage and that can make you do the same thing over and over. Both hubs and I have had counseling on and off over the years to try to fix our issues but I think the thing that helped the most was finding eachother since only someone else who has been abused can understand the damage.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Categorize it in any way one wishes,what you describe is at the least toxic and going no where so now the question is what do you need to do to walk away.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    Wait till he falls asleep, sew him into the bed sheets and beat him with a bag of oranges. Leave and come back for your stuff while he is at work.
  • Margentine
    Margentine Posts: 113 Member
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    I'll play devil's advocate here for a moment and say maybe in arguments where he said "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard" is not abuse. In honesty I've said that to my wife and she has said it back to me during political, work, religious, etc. conversations because sometimes they are honestly the stupidest thing I had ever heard. Enough on the devil's advocate there. As for the rest such as the belly, the "talking down" in front of others, etc. yes, mental abuse.
    I know what you're saying, but with emotional abuse it's generally not the individual incident that makes it abuse. It's more like a habit of saying this kind of thing... tearing someone down slowly.

    Correct. If it is with every single argument that a person says that then yes, that would be clarified as emotional abuse. I was just going off the story that didn't identify if this was a single event or everyday event so, being a criminal justice student, I had to go on the story and the "evidence" presented, so I have to presume this was a single event.


    He first said "You are stupid ..then he said ." that is the stupiest thing I have heard.
    He has called me stupid in the past ..he playfull slapping it's an everyday thing. I'm physically tired and drain of telling him how it upsets me.
  • Margentine
    Margentine Posts: 113 Member
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    Wait till he falls asleep, sew him into the bed sheets and beat him with a bag of oranges. Leave and come back for your stuff while he is at work.

    very crafty ! :wink:
  • loudvoice1
    loudvoice1 Posts: 29
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    I think it's definitely both emotional AND physical. Since when does he 'playfully' get to slap you --- what would happen if you 'playfully' did it back to him??

    You're NOT being treated right. I suggest you LEAVE!!

    There are others out there - you deserve better.
  • Toxictwist
    Toxictwist Posts: 274
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    you betcha it is....
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    Wait till he falls asleep, sew him into the bed sheets and beat him with a bag of oranges. Leave and come back for your stuff while he is at work.


    ^^^ Wins Best Answer EVER!!!
  • angelaclassact
    angelaclassact Posts: 66 Member
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    I come from the camp that says if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer.

    I think it is time for you to move on and leave him.
  • angelaclassact
    angelaclassact Posts: 66 Member
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    CallMe, i'll be your rebound-Ty

    HOT! :smile:
  • Kristie22249
    Kristie22249 Posts: 2
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    Yes, You are being Abuse and that is not healthy for you or anyone in the house. You don't have to live like that you are smart and you can make it . Believe me I was there at one time. I was scared to but I did it and I have been with out him going on four years. You will feel better about your self when he is gone. You will find someone that loves you for you.
  • giselle9938
    giselle9938 Posts: 194 Member
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    Wait till he falls asleep, sew him into the bed sheets and beat him with a bag of oranges. Leave and come back for your stuff while he is at work.

    or put some red pepper in all his underwear then sit down and watch him trying to walk...lol
  • lumina0o0
    lumina0o0 Posts: 498 Member
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    get out now...not in may...
  • MMKE4ever
    MMKE4ever Posts: 115 Member
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    My husband is the same way, except he doesn't hit me. I know this may be TMI, but he does hold me down and does things to me and keeps on even after I tell him to stop. He is always talking down to me and always says how I don't watch our kids well enough, yet he still lets me stay at home with them. I do watch them well though, but you can't watch them 24/7 like he thinks. Please leave him behind before you can't get out of it easily, like me.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    Yes, it's abuse. Emotional and the beginnings of physical. He's smacking you in the face, and says he doesn't mean it...that's abuse.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    If you wouldn't accept that kind of disrespect from a co-worker or acquaintance, why on earth would you accept it from someone who is supposed to care for you?

    Ditch him. Ditch him and don't look back. Why do you need that in your life?!?
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
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    You are not crazy. This is abuse. Unless you think it's unsafe to do so, end it NOW. End it before you move. End it before the day ends. You will never regret it. <HUGS>
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    Get out of there as quickly as you can, before the playful slaps get more intense. This is already abusive.

    (And on a side note, I'm astonished by the sheer number of idiots suggesting she must 'like' being treated this way. Way to blame the victim, you macho twits.)
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
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    I would dump him if I was you

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