He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?
Replies
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I have 4 daughters. If any one of them would ever be treated like that I would end up in prison.
Every woman should be treated like queen by her SO. Every man should be treated like a king by his SO. If that is not happening on both sides then it is not meant to be and it is time to move on. You are clearly not being treated right. Move on.
Thank you for proving me wrong!!!! *phew!*0 -
Why would you be with him at all? Don't ever be with anyone who treats you like ****. Very simple advice.0
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Uhhhhh no. It's definitely abuse. >:/ Is it just me or have all the men who have posted so far have a pretty lenient definition "abuse?" >:(i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you
Generalize much?0 -
I wouldn't waste another second of my precious life with a fool like that! LEAVE HIM
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I have 4 daughters. If any one of them would ever be treated like that I would end up in prison.
Every woman should be treated like queen by her SO. Every man should be treated like a king by his SO. If that is not happening on both sides then it is not meant to be and it is time to move on. You are clearly not being treated right. Move on.
Thank you for proving me wrong!!!! *phew!*
heh we are crossing paths..0 -
i sent you a PM with information about a book. But now I want to post it here in case anyone else (man or woman) thinks they might be in an abusive relationship.
The book is called "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft. It's written primarily about men who physically abuse female partners, but it elaborates on the methodology and psychology of abuse in general. I found the book incredible helpful in learning how to identify the ways in which I was being abused, and the ways that I was being sucked into the abusive relationship.
Some relationships are abusive and cannot just end (I'm not talking about boyfriends, but relatives/coworkers/bosses). This book was really helpful for me in understanding how to idenitfy abuse when it was happeneing and to set a boundary to stop it's affect on me (in my case, the boundary was internal as I could not make that person leave my life entirely, but I could have boundaries for how he could interact with me and how I would engage in interacting with him).
This book literally liberated me and I hope that others may find it helpful as well.0 -
I'm not use to being treated like this ..That's why I will leave him.
sweet!!! I love when the first post solves the problem discussed in the topic!
NEXT!0 -
sounds like the foundation of an extremely abusive marriage. get out0
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Yes, it's abuse. Be glad you aren't married. It usually gets a whole lot worse when you are married.
Get out. Glad you are recognizing now that this isn't right.
It will make you stronger, better and help you find a good relationship in the future.
I've been there. Had 3 children with my ex/abuser. I appreciate every day that I don't have to walk on eggshells anymore or listen to him degrade me or abuse me (physically).
Get out as soon as you can.0 -
My bf loves to get into deep conversation about politics, religions,social events..etc...
Whenever he does this , I try no to talk to much for he loves to just go on and on and on...
Then he asked me some specific questions and I answered ,,he then of course disagreed..
I disagreed again ..he then got defensive and call me stupid and said " That is the Stupiest thing I have ever heard " Last night he gave me a whole sermon bc the kitchen sink is clogged up..he said " Never ever in this house has anyone clogged up the kitchen sink drain ..it had to be .. you!" Made me feel like crap of course and told him not to be so mean about it . He makes comments about my weight and jokes on how I always like to think about food.
Last night as I laid down to sleep he looked at my belly and made a face of disgust. He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..
He tends to smack me for no reason, he says he is playing . Whenever I say something that he doesn't like , he "playfully" grabs me and " Playfully" slaps me on the face...although it's not hard ..it does hurt at times and I'm getting tired of him doing that . It's just so immature. the silly slaps on my face and my *** randomly uuggg..so tired. He then comments on when he was my age he had accomplished so much ..a profession, a good job, houses,cars ...etc... and while me I haven't done much. ...again makes me feel bad. There are times he will ridicule me in from of his daughters for either having said something wrong ..or for breaking something around the house..even if they were not there to see it ..he will tell them about the accident .
AM I Being emotional abused ?
sure feels like it ! I will be travelling far far away and will end the relationship once I'm away ..but I put this on here just so you guys can confirm that in fact I'm not crazy and this is abuse.
I'm not use to being treated like this ..That's why I will leave him.
I'm no counselor or anything but woahhh yeah you need to get out of that. It's total abuse and it sounds like it has potential to turn physical...this whole "play hit" thing is NOT a good sign. The fact that you have to get "far far away" to end the relationship says a lot. You don't deserve this treatment-no one does. I wish you luck!0 -
Oh yeah! Emotional abuse to the fullest, I mean, he called you stupid! Sue his *kitten*.0
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You already know the answer to your question!!0
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PLEASe get out of that relationship
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sorry, the face slapping bit escaped me on first read-through
that ****'s gotta go0 -
It is physical and mental abuse. Get away from him now. If you have no where to go, then go to a shelter. No one has the right to slap or hit you and say just playing around or to call you names. It will only escalate. You deserve to be treated so much better than that.
You can do this and you are strong enough to leave or get him out of your house. Believe me. I have been there, I have survived and found much better.0 -
i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you
mentally torturing someone, being verbally abusive, bullying.........it's ALL a valid and very real form of abuse. Shame on you.0 -
It's also physical abuse...battered women syndrome, I'm pretty sure you have it. 0
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#1-u need to put yourself and your kids first-this guy isn't even your husband so he should not come before any of you. #2-what is this teaching your kids when they see this or hear this? Do u really want to have them learn this behavior(s) and think its acceptable in life as they get older. #3-I would be a little worried of the slapping and what not to go any further than it is. Obviously he thinks its ok to put his hands on you that way or speak to you disrespectful. If he has a short fuse/temper and its something big that breaks, gets ruined, etc I would be on my toes if I were u of possible harm. Be safe and good luck to you as I hope u make the right decision0
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i don't think 'abuse' is necessarily the word, at least in the deepest, darkest sense of what it can me
it just sounds like he's a complete tool and doesn't appreciate you
mentally torturing someone, being verbally abusive, bullying.........it's ALL a valid and very real form of abuse. Shame on you.
let's not do this.0 -
Oh yeah! Emotional abuse to the fullest, I mean, he called you stupid! Sue his *kitten*.
Did you miss the part about him slapping her.....??0 -
Run NOW! Its going to escalate.0
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If you think you are being abused, you are being abused.
Trust your instincts, if it doesnt feel real it isn't!
You deserve to be happy and if you arent happy with this man and you dont like his behavious its time to go.
It won't get better and it won't go back to the way it was.
You don't need any other reason than your own happiness to leave the relationship.
Don't be afraid! Keep your chin up!
You might be second guessing yourself. Is it really that bad? Are you just over reacting? Again, trust your instinct. Just go0 -
If you don't like the way he treats you, then this relationship isn't for you.
Even if it isn't abuse, if you are not happy with the status quo, then do something different.0 -
Sounds to me like you are being emotionally and physically abused.0
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pack your bags and run for the hills!! life is too short to put up with b/s like this! you don't deserve this!!0
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Pack them bags girl. Sounds like he wants you to be someone your not and you should never settle for anyone who doesn't love everything about you the way it is !!!!!0
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He is a loser, he probably comments about your weight because hes a sicko that gets a kick out of hurting others. That man needs a 12 step program, or Jesus!0
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My bf loves to get into deep conversation about politics, religions,social events..etc...
Whenever he does this , I try no to talk to much for he loves to just go on and on and on...
Then he asked me some specific questions and I answered ,,he then of course disagreed..
I disagreed again ..he then got defensive and call me stupid and said " That is the Stupiest thing I have ever heard " Last night he gave me a whole sermon bc the kitchen sink is clogged up..he said " Never ever in this house has anyone clogged up the kitchen sink drain ..it had to be .. you!" Made me feel like crap of course and told him not to be so mean about it . He makes comments about my weight and jokes on how I always like to think about food.
Last night as I laid down to sleep he looked at my belly and made a face of disgust. He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..
He tends to smack me for no reason, he says he is playing . Whenever I say something that he doesn't like , he "playfully" grabs me and " Playfully" slaps me on the face...although it's not hard ..it does hurt at times and I'm getting tired of him doing that . It's just so immature. the silly slaps on my face and my *** randomly uuggg..so tired. He then comments on when he was my age he had accomplished so much ..a profession, a good job, houses,cars ...etc... and while me I haven't done much. ...again makes me feel bad. There are times he will ridicule me in from of his daughters for either having said something wrong ..or for breaking something around the house..even if they were not there to see it ..he will tell them about the accident .
AM I Being emotional abused ?
sure feels like it ! I will be travelling far far away and will end the relationship once I'm away ..but I put this on here just so you guys can confirm that in fact I'm not crazy and this is abuse.
I'm not use to being treated like this ..That's why I will leave him.
I want to tell you something. Please, I hope you read this. What you described was how my first husband was before we got married. But I foolishly married him anyway.
After we were married, he started hitting me, pushing me, ridiculing me even more. He's say, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen anyone do."
I could sew pretty well, even when I was young, and he'd put me down by telling me that anyone could do that. One day he told me he'd make my new pants. He just knew it was simple, no hassle at all. So, I handed him the fabric and pattern, and set up the sewing machine. By gum, he got those pants made. But it was NOT easy. He finally had to acknowledge that it was just that I made it look easy. That was probably the only time he ever paid me a real compliment.
He pushed me down a hill in the mountains. He knocked me to the floor when I was pregnant, then proceeded to kick me with his hard toed shoes. I curled up in a fetal position as best I could to protect my baby and myself.
One day he taught me what to do so he couldn't really strangle me the times he'd grab me by the throat.
I left. I had to protect myself and my baby. But I couldn't take my dog, so he killed my dog.
I believe if I had stayed married to him, I might not be alive now. But if I was still alive, I would be a mere shadow of who I am, no doubt. He would have killed my spirit. I also would not have met and married the wonderful guy I did. I've been married to my husband now for 40 years, and had I either died or stayed married to my first husband, I would have missed this lovely life with this dear, sweet man.
The point is, there were big red flags before we were married, but I didn't heed them. Things escalated after we were married to the point of violence and fear. Whatever you are suffering now will likely be much bigger if you marry him. He might just be a jerk, but keep in mind that I went through what you are going through, and he turned out to be so much more than a mere jerk.
Please be careful around this guy. Take care.0 -
Umm...why are you going to continue living in hell until you go to Canada? Why not ditch him now and start living life now. Life is so short, don't spend it being miserable.0
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Call mewhen you get ot the border, i have solor power in my igloo0
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