okay, it's seduction time

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  • chiquitatwist
    chiquitatwist Posts: 54 Member
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    Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
  • Alma_Sana
    Alma_Sana Posts: 453 Member
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    Your body must be a Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
  • sportsforfun
    sportsforfun Posts: 353
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    Your friend is really cute but you will do.
  • PhillyTD
    PhillyTD Posts: 375 Member
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    You must be a toilet because I am pooped just thinking about you!
  • Alma_Sana
    Alma_Sana Posts: 453 Member
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    Is your body from McDonalds? Cause I'm Lovin It!
  • starrynightskys
    starrynightskys Posts: 31 Member
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    "Would you like to take a young man's virginity?" was a line once used on me, needless to say, it didn't work!
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 969 Member
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    Feel this, this is Girlfriend Material baby ;) lol
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Would you touch me, so I can tell my friends I was touched by an Angel?
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 969 Member
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    Do you believe in love at first sight or shall i walk past you again? x
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it down.

    This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sensuous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8."
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.

    Stella or Bud? Take yer pick. It's on me.
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    Let me knock the stuffin off that egg mcmuffin
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,664 Member
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    F**k me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
  • Suzanne77598
    Suzanne77598 Posts: 9
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    That sounds like Joey on "Friends".
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    This is when Beerrunner will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.

    Damn.:devil:
  • rbear713
    rbear713 Posts: 220 Member
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    (Need to be in the grocery store for this one) 'scuse me miss? I've been sent here to tell you to leave the freezer section immediately. You're so damn hot you're melting all the stuff!!
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
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    I didn't know that the Dallas Cowboys were in town....You're their lead cheer leader, right?
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
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    This is when Beerrunner will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.

    Damn.:devil:
    Beerrunner needs to credit Smoove B.

    Best Onion columnist ever, hands down.

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