Age Difference for dating?

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  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
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    Bump this... interesting read.
  • Amber50lbsDown
    Amber50lbsDown Posts: 255 Member
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    My SO is 14 years older. Im 27 He is 41.
    I was 23 when we started dating. We met through mutual friends. The age difference wasnt a big deal although hes had to suffer with the cradle robbing jokes and being teased for the past years from my Dad. lol
    We have so much in common hes an amazing man and father to our kids, couldnt ask for anything more.
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
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    My fiance's 25 years my senior. I'm 21 (22 in July) and he's 47.

    I have a friend who married a guy 26 years older than her. He looks great for his age...BUT... let's just say that while she was at her peak of sexual interest in her 30s, he had no interest. Things don't hang like they used to. People sometimes forget the mental aspects of the age difference. Mid life crisis are real. As for the OPs question, my age limit would be 5 years. My wife is older than me by 2 years. We'll reach those milestones of life together. After all, misery does love company
  • devonette
    devonette Posts: 263 Member
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    My boyfriend is 42 and I'm 53 :bigsmile: We've been dating for 4 years :love:

    Honestly, it's a matter of how old you are now. The younger you are, a closer age range is better so that you have more common interests. If you are older and have had more years to develop a wider range of interests and more diversely aged friends, the age doesn't matter nearly as much and a wider age difference becomes more acceptable.

    My husband is 45 and I'm 56, so that's 11 years difference (we've been married 21 years now) . When we started dating he was 23 and I was 34. Now, back in my teens I wouldn't have dated anyone younger than me, and in my 20's I wouldn't have dated anyone more than 2 years younger or 5 years older, but as you get older, things change. It took awhile for me to adjust to the age difference, but mentally and emotionally we were a good match, and that's what counts, and we look pretty much the same age, have friends aged 18 thru 98, so age is irrelevant!

    As far as pop culture goes, yeah, there is a gap -- I'm all 60's & 70's and he's all 80's, but it works really well when we are a team for trivia games! Given that besides the music and memories of our different "generations" we both have a zillion interests in just about everything, that gap is completely meaningless.
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
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    My husband is 6 years my junior .. ;) and its awesome.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    My fiance's 25 years my senior. I'm 21 (22 in July) and he's 47.

    Whoa! Really? How does that works with friends? What did the families have to say about it? Just curious. The age thing freaks me out. I thought I was more open minded, but recently, when faced with it, realized that anymore than maybe ten years might be too much.

    I always thought I was too. I had dreamed of marrying George Clooney (21ish years older than me, I think) since I was 12. But, then I married my husband, who is only 4 years older and there are significant differences in our pop culture references with just a few years difference. And it definitely gets weird when we talk about when he was in high school, I was in 6th grade, etc. Since that gets awkward at times, I definitely would not be comfortable with someone who was an adult when I was born. Sure, it's different once both people are adults, but it still seems creepy.

    And you are totally allowed to have your own opinion. But I really don't care what others have to say about it. I mean, I love him, he loves me and that's all I could ask for.

    But..but..pop culture references!!

    Oh dear God. It's one way in which people can relate to each other. We talk to each other about a variety of subjects. When the, "Hey, don't you remember that show/song/cultural event" topics come up and I don't because we were born in different decades it makes him feel significantly older. Sometimes, not being able to relate to one another can be an issue for couples.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I like to be at least two years older than I was the last time I was dating someone.
  • sharonsjones
    sharonsjones Posts: 574 Member
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    My husband is 5 years younger than me. He was 24 and I was 29 when we married. It seems to run in my family, My dad was 5 years younger than my step-mom, and my son is 5 years younger than his wife. Which makes it kinda of strange when you think about it. I had my boys when I was 16 so my husband is only 12 years older than my boys, and he addopted them. Then my DIL is only 12 years younger than me and she has a son that is 12. So I am a gma @ 42 to a 12 year old boy. But were all happy and all get along really well :smile:
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I always thought I was too. I had dreamed of marrying George Clooney (21ish years older than me, I think) since I was 12. But, then I married my husband, who is only 4 years older and there are significant differences in our pop culture references with just a few years difference. And it definitely gets weird when we talk about when he was in high school, I was in 6th grade, etc. Since that gets awkward at times, I definitely would not be comfortable with someone who was an adult when I was born. Sure, it's different once both people are adults, but it still seems creepy.


    Ha! I could Definitely marry George Clooney!!!!! *drool* My bf was in his first year out of high school when I was entering kindergarten. When he started driving, I was potty training. When he got married, I was in second grade. When his daughter was born, I was graduating middle school. We have a sailfish that he caught before I was born hanging in our living room. It is only a problem if you decide it is a problem. There are a lot of "pop culture" references that we would not have in common, except, I have exposed him to mine now, and he has exposed me to his. We get to re-live childhood favorites, while the other gets some new gem. It is all in how you choose to look at it. I love my older men.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    My fiance's 25 years my senior. I'm 21 (22 in July) and he's 47.

    I have a friend who married a guy 26 years older than her. He looks great for his age...BUT... let's just say that while she was at her peak of sexual interest in her 30s, he had no interest. Things don't hang like they used to. People sometimes forget the mental aspects of the age difference. Mid life crisis are real. As for the OPs question, my age limit would be 5 years. My wife is older than me by 2 years. We'll reach those milestones of life together. After all, misery does love company

    In all honesty, I have no fear about his sex drive dropping, my man's a machine more so than I. And I am more than prepared for things that will begin to happen while he gets older and I move into my late - mid thirties. I've had this conversation with sooo many people. Hell, we even joke about how I'm going to have to change his diapers, so he better behave.
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
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    I believe age is just a number, it is more about compatability and maturity on both parts. Why limit yourself to a number, that is like saying I won't date a smoker, or a women with children from a previous relationship, or someone who doesn't workout. Do what makes you happy and don't worry about what others think is appropriate. (that is if its legal) LOL
  • johnwhitent
    johnwhitent Posts: 648 Member
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    I am twelve years older than my wife (I am turning sixty in July,) but I am very fit and trim and she is much less so, so I am actually much more active and young acting than her. When couples are in their 30's. 40's, and 50's a ten year difference is really not much, but, I must caution that in my opinion it starts to get noticeable as people get older. My dad was 20 years older than my stepmom and no-one noticed it much until he hit 65/70, at which point suddenly he was a retired old man but she was still working and active and the age difference seemed massive. He had health issues and became very frail and she cared for him for his last 15 years, which was an incredible burden for her. Watching them struggle with this is a major motivator in my own fitness pursuit; I don't want my wife going through that so I do all that I can to stay fit and healthy. I put all this out there just to give some perspective from a very different point in life than most of you have. Love can overcome just about anything, but I do think that one should consider the future when entering into a relationship.
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
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    I *always dated older men before him.. when we got together I was like eh this wont work but it will be fun.. never been apart since
    when I was 17 I was involved with a 29 yr old.. and when I was 19 and 40 something yr old. I dont care about the number .. never have dont think I ever will.. unless its like wayyyy to young.. I would never date anyone under the age of 18.. EVER.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I always thought I was too. I had dreamed of marrying George Clooney (21ish years older than me, I think) since I was 12. But, then I married my husband, who is only 4 years older and there are significant differences in our pop culture references with just a few years difference. And it definitely gets weird when we talk about when he was in high school, I was in 6th grade, etc. Since that gets awkward at times, I definitely would not be comfortable with someone who was an adult when I was born. Sure, it's different once both people are adults, but it still seems creepy.


    Ha! I could Definitely marry George Clooney!!!!! *drool* My bf was in his first year out of high school when I was entering kindergarten. When he started driving, I was potty training. When he got married, I was in second grade. When his daughter was born, I was graduating middle school. We have a sailfish that he caught before I was born hanging in our living room. It is only a problem if you decide it is a problem. There are a lot of "pop culture" references that we would not have in common, except, I have exposed him to mine now, and he has exposed me to his. We get to re-live childhood favorites, while the other gets some new gem. It is all in how you choose to look at it. I love my older men.

    Things are definitely only an issue if you let them become an issue, and there are generally ways of getting around things. I think it's important to share the different interests regardless of the age difference. What you two are doing sounds awesome.

    I'm so over my life-long George Clooney crush. The fact that he's only with a woman for 2-3 years before finding someone else is a big turn-off. I super love Hugh Jackman now, and Johnny Depp and The Rock are on my "free list" now that they're single. Also Anderson Cooper. I so don't have a type. Obviously, I'm into older guys. But the idea of really being in a relationship with one seems weird to me now. I don't even know what celebrities are even my age.
  • Lula16
    Lula16 Posts: 628 Member
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    8 yr difference for us. I just turned 39 and he will be 47 in june. We have been married for 9 yrs
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I would not date anyone younger then 30 if I was not married, and the oldest would be 50. I'm 38.
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    Age is just a number. More important is what kind of a person he is, how he treats my children and I, and whether our lifestyle philosophies mesh.


    That said, my partner of 9 years is 9 years younger than I am. My last X-husband was 11 years older. I also had a long-term relationship with a guy was was 21 years older than I was (I was 20, he was 41).

    Age really does not matter (as long as it is legal).
  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    it probably depends on how old the youngest person is... like for me personally when i was 18 i would not have dated anyone older than 22 (4 year difference) because just of where we would be in different life stages. at 18, dating someone 25 would have seemed way too old. but, if i was 20, i woudl have dated a 30 year old and that is a 10 year age difference. once you get in your 30s i could see dating someone well into their 40s and then beyond 40 probably could go up to 60.. it just all depends really on the two people's maturity level and where they are with life stages. if someone got married young and had kids and now they are 35 and want to start over maybe they would date someone older but in the same life stage... if you get what i'm saying. really it is an individual matter i think. for me personally i have my own standards but it all depends and i would try not to judge anyone else. now i am in my 30s and if i would have to start over i would consider a guy in his 20s, 30s or 40s.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    When I was younger, I always dated men who were older. In my late 20s that changed a little, and my husband is 5 years younger than I am (he was 21 when we met). My biggest age different was 35 years, we didn't date exactly, but we were friends and lovers. It just depends on the situation.
  • wally1uk
    wally1uk Posts: 120
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    A difference is age is simply a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it really doesn't matter :) My wife is only 2 years older than me, but it wouldn't matter to me if it was 10 years or more :)