Why do people ignore friend requests?

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  • soon2b_1fitmama
    soon2b_1fitmama Posts: 154
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    i agree.. at first i started adding anyone that added me.. bc i took this site as a supporting tool.
    BUT i started getting msgs from guys... talking like this was a dating site.. so with that said, i don't add guys anymore.
    i know not all of them are like that.. but i rather just not wonder if or not..
    i haven't had that issue with females lol
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 999 Member
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    Well you've had six pages of explanations, but not responded to any of them.

    It is precisely that lack of interaction that is why so many people like to have a message with friend requests.

    Excuse me but I put this post up last night and some people do like to sleep for work the next day. Dont get your panties in a wad. I will respond after i get off work. Im sorry princess

    I believe you now have the answer as to why people ignore your friend requests. Maturity is a good thing.

    ^^This.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    I don't add people who seem creepy, stupid or annoying because this is also about supporting ME.
  • ednabnana
    ednabnana Posts: 304
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    I respect your opinion OP, but after 3 months on here, I got to know people who just collect friends.

    I need support & love to cheer people. I do not want anyone who is just another number on my list.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

    Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

    Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

    Can someone explain this to me?

    IRL I only become friends with people I have a bit in common with. It's got nothing to do with "too good" and everything to do with "too busy." Why do you care? Do you want to be friends with these people? Can you explain this to me?
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    I don't add hipsters. That's my first rule.

    What's a hipster?
    You've probably never heard of them.

    I laughed so hard, I woke up the cat.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    It's interesting to note that most of the people on here who 'can't understand' why someone would restrict a friends' list have really comparatively small lists. My experience is once your list gets over a hundred, it becomes unweildy. If you take your friends seriously, you try to get round to see them a few times a week. There's no point in having friends if I can't actually get round to support them. I have limited online time. So yeah, I'm a bit choosy about who I add. But not ridiculously so. If someone's actually bothered to read my profile, and that's in some way reflected in their message, I'll add them. But a lot of people who *want* to add me do so simply because I've lost a lot of weight myself. Well, frankly, I'm not anyone's lucky charm.

    This isn't about arrogance, it's about actually taking the notion of 'friend' a little bit seriously, rather than seeing adding people as a hobby.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    Oh and having added people, I hate culling them. It feels rude and mean. But when my list got up to over 200, I felt I had to for my sanity. I don't want to get myself back into that situation again.
  • GeminiFairy89
    GeminiFairy89 Posts: 45 Member
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    Maybe they got issues haha. I only have my sister on my friends list, not by choice but thats just how things are. Im the kind of person to accept,rather than request too.
  • sammyjowedeking
    sammyjowedeking Posts: 116
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    Okay, let me explain.

    I DID NOT type this post because I thought people were stupid for not adding others without a message or whatever. I honestly made this thread because I really wanted to know. I had no clue why people didnt accept requests.

    I was not looking for people to add me and I wasnt pouting because someone didnt add me. Everyone I have friend requested has added me.

    Thank you for all of the mature people who were able to handle this thread accordingly. :)

    And honestly, after some of your responses, i may require a message just because some of you have issues :/

    Especially the ones who think I am immature because I got onto them for getting onto me for not responding right that second.

    Sorry, Im a college kid with a full time job and husband. Im a little busy :)

    And yes this is a fitness website but it is also where you can get support. That is what I meant for the sarcastic people that don't understand. geesh
  • EuroReady
    EuroReady Posts: 199 Member
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    You have gotten a lot of genuine feedback. Hopefully your questions have been answered satisfactorily. There's a bunch of different reasons why people do this. 8D
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Well you've had six pages of explanations, but not responded to any of them.

    It is precisely that lack of interaction that is why so many people like to have a message with friend requests.

    Excuse me but I put this post up last night and some people do like to sleep for work the next day. Dont get your panties in a wad. I will respond after i get off work. Im sorry princess

    I believe you now have the answer as to why people ignore your friend requests. Maturity is a good thing.

    ^^This.

    I never said people ignored my friend requests? And I am mature. The original poster just seemed like a prick and I called him out on it. no biggie :)
    Her, actually.

    Incidentally, you may wish to consider the fact that name calling is widely interpreted in Western society as an immature behaviour.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

    Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

    Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

    Can someone explain this to me?

    There are no rules that say you have to accept anyone's friend's invitation to connect. There are people in my friends list who would rather not associate with anyone, but simply would like to share recipes and thats it.

    No one has to come to MFP and automatically invite the world in.

    It is the user's choice - not the person sending the friend-request, on how they will run their MFP profile.



    I know personally - I would like to know why someone is asking for the friend invite. Im too focused to work on myself right now and no-one else matters to me. I have enough going on working on my health and Im making myself the priority. Ive also run into some very horrible MFP members - just downright judgemental, full of assumptions and just the type of class of people I would never want to be associated with.
  • MelanieAG05
    MelanieAG05 Posts: 359 Member
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    I am sure you have already had your question answered but the reasons I ask for messages with friend requests are:

    1. Time-management - I like to provide quality support and if I had too many friends i wouldn't be able to.
    2. To make sure I have something in common with them or have other friends in common with them.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Ive also run into some very horrible MFP members - just downright judgemental, full of assumptions and just the type of class of people I would never want to be associated with.
    Couldn't agree more, there are many people on this site whose company I would actively avoid.

    However, the inverse is equally true, there are knowledgeable people on here who give excellent advice and / or who are genuinely decent. If I send someone a friend request because I respect their judgement, I'd like them to know that - so many people put time aside to give advice, often patiently repeating the same correct information in thread after thread, without anyone acknowledging their efforts.

    Even if they don't accept my friend request, because we don't have much in common or perhaps because they don't like my pragmatic attitude, at least they'd know their efforts are appreciated and know why I'd requested to be added to their friends list.
  • BrokenBarbiexoxo
    BrokenBarbiexoxo Posts: 91 Member
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    I accept all friends requests but delete people daily, whether the don't log in for a week or more, comment negatively on my diary and statuses or we have different diets going on (they eat too much etc) I like similar people to me but always accept anyone xo
  • louisau
    louisau Posts: 159 Member
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    My mother taught me not to talk to strangers. I see no difference between real life and online life.
  • ElizabethObviously
    ElizabethObviously Posts: 380 Member
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    I agree! This is not like Facebook or something. I can kind of understand people wanting profiles with a picture simply because they feel odd talking to a faceless person but at the same time I understand not everyone will be comfortable posting a picture right off.

    I am one of those rambling type of people and I love to talk to others and encourage them as much as I can. Regardless if they have a picture or not. Regardless if we have anything in common.

    Though I did end up deleting one person once because I felt their kind of posting was not good for me. It was 100% negative. This person talked down about theirselves in EVERY post. I feel a negative attitude can be contagious.

    But that is the ONLY person I have ever deleted for that reason. I accept anyone's request! So ADD ME!!!!!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Even if they don't accept my friend request, because we don't have much in common or perhaps because they don't like my pragmatic attitude, at least they'd know their efforts are appreciated and know why I'd requested to be added to their friends list.

    While I do agree with you, the bottom line is that MFP does not require people to accept all friend requests.

    There are people who use MFP and dont want to have anything to do with anyone who they might work with who will find them here. There are circumstances where a person just wants to concentrate on theirself with their diary logging, exercise logging due to advice from their physician - so that becomes a personal journal for them.

    For me personally - Im here under doctor's advice by the same doctor that I work for. No one on MFP has any right to say anything with regard to my intake, my exercise, nor do they have the right to judge my entries or lack-thereof. If a meal isnt posted fast enough, do you know how fast people are so quick to ASSUME things? Purposely eating very low calorie, eating disorder, etc... But yet, they dont stop and actually use their brain, or even better: COMMON SENSE that perhaps MFP was down? That person had to work late and didnt log it until the next day because they were too tired and wanted to go to sleep immediately? Or, the internet is down and cant log in on their phone. Or even quite simple - you are sick as a dog and the thought of eating isnt the best idea......

    If a friend request has no message - I dont want to waste my time asking them "why are you sending me a friend invite?" .. I have more important things to take care of with my personal health and well being and make sure I log in - Ive got doctors reviewing my entries. The invites I get that have messages, I make it known from the beginning: take me the way I am, and respect my boundaries, and Ill do the same in return. But Im not here to hold someone's hand to walk them through this... I have so many medical problems that everyone else's issues dont mean anything to me to be drop dead honest.
  • sammyjowedeking
    sammyjowedeking Posts: 116
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    Well you've had six pages of explanations, but not responded to any of them.

    It is precisely that lack of interaction that is why so many people like to have a message with friend requests.

    Excuse me but I put this post up last night and some people do like to sleep for work the next day. Dont get your panties in a wad. I will respond after i get off work. Im sorry princess

    I believe you now have the answer as to why people ignore your friend requests. Maturity is a good thing.

    ^^This.

    I never said people ignored my friend requests? And I am mature. The original poster just seemed like a prick and I called him out on it. no biggie :)
    Her, actually.

    Incidentally, you may wish to consider the fact that name calling is widely interpreted in Western society as an immature behaviour.


    Its not like i called the person a meany head. grow up

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