Why do people ignore friend requests?
Replies
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once you hit a certain number, if you are sincerely trying to be a supportive friend, it gets hard to sincrely support too many people, especially when you have some who interact and some who never ever do.
I also delete for lack of interaction, because if there is no activity, I don't know you and if I don't know you, I don't know how to support you.... (you being general here).0 -
because I have nearly 200 "friends" on here. It's difficult to stay on top of the ones I have and support them properly, I never know if I'm adding value to their experience or not. this community is about support, and I like to support the "friends" I have, so when there's no note and the profile is fairly private and they haven't bothered to read my profile I have no idea whether or not we'd be a good fit as supportive friends.0
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If people cba to read my profile and leave a short message saying who they are then that's not exactly a great intro that screams "i'm going to be active and support you". It seems to me more like "I can't really be arsed, but I'm kinda lonely". I don't believe in automatic entitlement - you want me? Put in some effort. Sheesh. Call me a princess or whatever the term is these days, I don't care but I feel it's about other people valuing you - if they can't put the effort in it's not going to work between us.
On the flip side of your question - do people think they're too good to leave a message? Personal preference. If you like not having former contact, fine - just as we can see, a lot of people do.0 -
If people cba to read my profile and leave a short message saying who they are then that's not exactly a great intro that screams "i'm going to be active and support you". It seems to me more like "I can't really be arsed, but I'm kinda lonely".
On the flip side of your question - do people think they're too good to leave a message? Personal preference. If you like not having former contact, fine - just as we can see, a lot of people do.
Also, as we've established, if you're British, you are more likely to be accepted as my friend no matter what. :-)0 -
I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."
Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?
Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.
Can someone explain this to me?
I have a message on mine saying that I won't accept people if they don't leave a small message as to where they found me or why they added me (for support, motivation, etc). It's not that the person is, as you say, "too good" to add someone but I would like to know where someone found me or why they want to add me. If I added every person that sent me a request, I would have a bunch of Inactive Users in my list, which is why I changed my message to say that on my page.
Everyone has their own ways of running their profiles, if you do it differently, fine. I have my own way, just like everyone else. Does it really bother you that much?0 -
If people cba to read my profile and leave a short message saying who they are then that's not exactly a great intro that screams "i'm going to be active and support you". It seems to me more like "I can't really be arsed, but I'm kinda lonely".
On the flip side of your question - do people think they're too good to leave a message? Personal preference. If you like not having former contact, fine - just as we can see, a lot of people do.
Also, as we've established, if you're British, you are more likely to be accepted as my friend no matter what. :-)
Yeah, you like being treated mean and kept keen by us brits eh Rml xD What are you like
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If you try to add me without a message, I will check out your profile to see if you are legit. I prefer messages but are not usually needed in order for me to accept you. I accepted this guy one time, and he was as vulgar as could be, so I deleted him. It is a risk you take I suppose.0
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I like to know a little something about a person before I accept a friend request, but I generally accept all requests.
Keeping people on my friend list is another story. If I find people are on starvation diets - living on 700 calories of diet coke, celery sticks and tuna packets, I don't keep them. If I spend time cheering someone on - commenting on their good diary choices and admiring their workouts, and they never say a single word to me for weeks and weeks, I don't keep them. I also don't keep people who openly criticize my diet/workout plan. I'm fine if you want to do Paleo or Atkins or vegan or eat 100% clean. I'll never criticize your choices. I choose to follow a plan of moderation (it worked!!) and haven't asked for input on how to lose more. If you tell me that 55% of my calories from carbs is too much without me asking 'Hey... what do you think of my carb intake', you're dropped from my friend list.
All in all, I like keeping my friend list small enough that I can keep up with everyone on it. I just like to form personal relationships with like-minded people.0 -
It's pretty much the same rules for any site that gives you the options of having friends. I used to be a regular on another forum that had the friend feature, which was nothing more than displaying them on your profile, and people sent and received requests left and right because someone had said something they agreed with or they found inspirational or they lived in the same state/country/general region. And it was a support site, but granted it was 98% women so there wasn't a problem of possible creepers.
Weight loss is a bigger deal, though. People want people who will not only support them but have similar goals or at least won't be someone who is sabotaging themselves and may or may not take someone with them just by association. They don't want those that aren't making an effort when they're working their butts off, they don't want people that are using this place to be their personal soapbox or as a dating site (I've actually been defriended by someone because I didn't join the chorus of free therapists and *kitten*-patters when he whined) and some just don't want people they have nothing in common with, goal-wise or anything else. It's like with Facebook, lots of people won't accept requests if they don't know the person or if a friend doesn't know them or if they don't say why they want to be friends. You're choosing who to surround yourself with and sometimes a blank message and a photo isn't going to give away just what kind of person they are.
But me personally I'll accept any request simply because I don't care who they are. If someone reads something of mine here and decides that despite my sarcasm and the sourpuss look in my profile picture they want to watch my progress and let me watch theirs, then hey.
As for the whole "no men better send me requests" thing... I kinda understand that since again you never know intentions and some just don't want to be bothered with a chance they'll be hit on. I think I've seen mention some don't accept them out of respect for their SO/spouse, but that's their choice. If a guy sees a blatant "NO MEN" notice on their profiles, just cruise on. You can't get sore over someone who's made it clear they won't support you for that reason only no matter what the reason is behind it. Plenty more will accept them.0 -
You don't know my friends, apparently.but granted it was 98% women so there wasn't a problem of possible creepers.0 -
I accept anyone who asks -- I've never made a request myself -- because I'm happy to support anyone who thinks I can help. Unfortunately, I don't have time to leave everyone individual messages every day. If people are offended by that, there's nothing I can do.
I've seen a few messages on people's profiles listing their detailed requirements for accepting a Friend request. They should get over themselves.0 -
I was going to accept a blank friend request, but then I took an arrow to the knee....0
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I reject them because I am tired of being treated as a sex object by hot slutty women.
So let me get this straight! You added me as friend, because I'm not hot enough, or not slutty enough! Just wondering....
Not at all! But I can only be treated like a piece of meat for so long!0 -
personally I will accept any friend requests...don't need any explanations or anything...I assume that i've been found either from mutual friends or on the message boards...those who some feel may not eat enough well since everybody has different needs well thats ok too...many different reasons for many different things...if you don't log for long periods of time then I would hope you come back but I know things happen...what I do prefer is having friends that interact...I know I do...lots...and its more interesting and fun being able to do so...another preference..a picture...not a must but its good to see who i'm interacting with...I won't creep them or anything but if its there I just may take a look same as anybody...no ignores here ever0
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If people cba to read my profile and leave a short message saying who they are then that's not exactly a great intro that screams "i'm going to be active and support you". It seems to me more like "I can't really be arsed, but I'm kinda lonely".
On the flip side of your question - do people think they're too good to leave a message? Personal preference. If you like not having former contact, fine - just as we can see, a lot of people do.
Also, as we've established, if you're British, you are more likely to be accepted as my friend no matter what. :-)
Yeah, you like being treated mean and kept keen by us brits eh Rml xD What are you like
Brits are just ... awesome. I like when you talk to me.0 -
Brits are just ... awesome. I like when you talk to me.
Haha xD *blush*0 -
Meanwhile - on a related topic - I hate that when a request DOES come with a message the message disappears as soon as you accept. So, unless I've committed it to memory (or cut and pasted it elsewhere to save) I can never go back to see it again. Seriously flaw in the system if you ask me.0
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Meanwhile - on a related topic - I hate that when a request DOES come with a message the message disappears as soon as you accept. So, unless I've committed it to memory (or cut and pasted it elsewhere to save) I can never go back to see it again. Seriously flaw in the system if you ask me.
Agreed!0 -
I'm shy and private. I have a small, but excellent group of friends here, and that makes me happy. Do you want me to be unhappy or something?
Depends...
Please fill out this questionnaire:
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After you fill out that very informative survey I can properly answer your question.
;-)
Just kidding, I mean you no harm :-D
^^ another reason I love MFP! Very creative and inspiring people reside here!
I just changed my profile to request a message with friend requests. If I request someone, I send a message so they know (think) that I'm not a stalker or creeper (or am I?) It's nice to know where they saw you so you can relate and I want to keep my list small so it's not one more thing overwhelming me.0 -
I dunno, I only have two friends on here. My mom and some other lady that added me when I first joined. I'll probably accept it if people send them to me, it's nice to have people comment on my stuff. XD0
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i agree.. at first i started adding anyone that added me.. bc i took this site as a supporting tool.
BUT i started getting msgs from guys... talking like this was a dating site.. so with that said, i don't add guys anymore.
i know not all of them are like that.. but i rather just not wonder if or not..
i haven't had that issue with females lol0 -
Well you've had six pages of explanations, but not responded to any of them.
It is precisely that lack of interaction that is why so many people like to have a message with friend requests.
Excuse me but I put this post up last night and some people do like to sleep for work the next day. Dont get your panties in a wad. I will respond after i get off work. Im sorry princess
I believe you now have the answer as to why people ignore your friend requests. Maturity is a good thing.
^^This.0 -
I don't add people who seem creepy, stupid or annoying because this is also about supporting ME.0
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I respect your opinion OP, but after 3 months on here, I got to know people who just collect friends.
I need support & love to cheer people. I do not want anyone who is just another number on my list.0 -
I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."
Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?
Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.
Can someone explain this to me?
IRL I only become friends with people I have a bit in common with. It's got nothing to do with "too good" and everything to do with "too busy." Why do you care? Do you want to be friends with these people? Can you explain this to me?0 -
You've probably never heard of them.I don't add hipsters. That's my first rule.
What's a hipster?
I laughed so hard, I woke up the cat.0 -
It's interesting to note that most of the people on here who 'can't understand' why someone would restrict a friends' list have really comparatively small lists. My experience is once your list gets over a hundred, it becomes unweildy. If you take your friends seriously, you try to get round to see them a few times a week. There's no point in having friends if I can't actually get round to support them. I have limited online time. So yeah, I'm a bit choosy about who I add. But not ridiculously so. If someone's actually bothered to read my profile, and that's in some way reflected in their message, I'll add them. But a lot of people who *want* to add me do so simply because I've lost a lot of weight myself. Well, frankly, I'm not anyone's lucky charm.
This isn't about arrogance, it's about actually taking the notion of 'friend' a little bit seriously, rather than seeing adding people as a hobby.0 -
Oh and having added people, I hate culling them. It feels rude and mean. But when my list got up to over 200, I felt I had to for my sanity. I don't want to get myself back into that situation again.0
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Maybe they got issues haha. I only have my sister on my friends list, not by choice but thats just how things are. Im the kind of person to accept,rather than request too.0
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Okay, let me explain.
I DID NOT type this post because I thought people were stupid for not adding others without a message or whatever. I honestly made this thread because I really wanted to know. I had no clue why people didnt accept requests.
I was not looking for people to add me and I wasnt pouting because someone didnt add me. Everyone I have friend requested has added me.
Thank you for all of the mature people who were able to handle this thread accordingly.
And honestly, after some of your responses, i may require a message just because some of you have issues
Especially the ones who think I am immature because I got onto them for getting onto me for not responding right that second.
Sorry, Im a college kid with a full time job and husband. Im a little busy
And yes this is a fitness website but it is also where you can get support. That is what I meant for the sarcastic people that don't understand. geesh0
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