Why do people ignore friend requests?

EuroReady

You have gotten a lot of genuine feedback. Hopefully your questions have been answered satisfactorily. There's a bunch of different reasons why people do this. 8D

TourThePast

Well you've had six pages of explanations, but not responded to any of them.

It is precisely that lack of interaction that is why so many people like to have a message with friend requests.

Excuse me but I put this post up last night and some people do like to sleep for work the next day. Dont get your panties in a wad. I will respond after i get off work. Im sorry princess

I believe you now have the answer as to why people ignore your friend requests. Maturity is a good thing.

^^This.

I never said people ignored my friend requests? And I am mature. The original poster just seemed like a prick and I called him out on it. no biggie

Her, actually.

Incidentally, you may wish to consider the fact that name calling is widely interpreted in Western society as an immature behaviour.

cramernh

I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

Can someone explain this to me?

There are no rules that say you have to accept anyone's friend's invitation to connect. There are people in my friends list who would rather not associate with anyone, but simply would like to share recipes and thats it.

No one has to come to MFP and automatically invite the world in.

It is the user's choice - not the person sending the friend-request, on how they will run their MFP profile.



I know personally - I would like to know why someone is asking for the friend invite. Im too focused to work on myself right now and no-one else matters to me. I have enough going on working on my health and Im making myself the priority. Ive also run into some very horrible MFP members - just downright judgemental, full of assumptions and just the type of class of people I would never want to be associated with.

MelanieAG05

I am sure you have already had your question answered but the reasons I ask for messages with friend requests are:

1. Time-management - I like to provide quality support and if I had too many friends i wouldn't be able to.
2. To make sure I have something in common with them or have other friends in common with them.

TourThePast

Ive also run into some very horrible MFP members - just downright judgemental, full of assumptions and just the type of class of people I would never want to be associated with.

Couldn't agree more, there are many people on this site whose company I would actively avoid.

However, the inverse is equally true, there are knowledgeable people on here who give excellent advice and / or who are genuinely decent. If I send someone a friend request because I respect their judgement, I'd like them to know that - so many people put time aside to give advice, often patiently repeating the same correct information in thread after thread, without anyone acknowledging their efforts.

Even if they don't accept my friend request, because we don't have much in common or perhaps because they don't like my pragmatic attitude, at least they'd know their efforts are appreciated and know why I'd requested to be added to their friends list.

BrokenBarbiexoxo

I accept all friends requests but delete people daily, whether the don't log in for a week or more, comment negatively on my diary and statuses or we have different diets going on (they eat too much etc) I like similar people to me but always accept anyone xo

louisau

My mother taught me not to talk to strangers. I see no difference between real life and online life.

ElizabethObviously

I agree! This is not like Facebook or something. I can kind of understand people wanting profiles with a picture simply because they feel odd talking to a faceless person but at the same time I understand not everyone will be comfortable posting a picture right off.

I am one of those rambling type of people and I love to talk to others and encourage them as much as I can. Regardless if they have a picture or not. Regardless if we have anything in common.

Though I did end up deleting one person once because I felt their kind of posting was not good for me. It was 100% negative. This person talked down about theirselves in EVERY post. I feel a negative attitude can be contagious.

But that is the ONLY person I have ever deleted for that reason. I accept anyone's request! So ADD ME!!!!!

cramernh

Even if they don't accept my friend request, because we don't have much in common or perhaps because they don't like my pragmatic attitude, at least they'd know their efforts are appreciated and know why I'd requested to be added to their friends list.

While I do agree with you, the bottom line is that MFP does not require people to accept all friend requests.

There are people who use MFP and dont want to have anything to do with anyone who they might work with who will find them here. There are circumstances where a person just wants to concentrate on theirself with their diary logging, exercise logging due to advice from their physician - so that becomes a personal journal for them.

For me personally - Im here under doctor's advice by the same doctor that I work for. No one on MFP has any right to say anything with regard to my intake, my exercise, nor do they have the right to judge my entries or lack-thereof. If a meal isnt posted fast enough, do you know how fast people are so quick to ASSUME things? Purposely eating very low calorie, eating disorder, etc... But yet, they dont stop and actually use their brain, or even better: COMMON SENSE that perhaps MFP was down? That person had to work late and didnt log it until the next day because they were too tired and wanted to go to sleep immediately? Or, the internet is down and cant log in on their phone. Or even quite simple - you are sick as a dog and the thought of eating isnt the best idea......

If a friend request has no message - I dont want to waste my time asking them "why are you sending me a friend invite?" .. I have more important things to take care of with my personal health and well being and make sure I log in - Ive got doctors reviewing my entries. The invites I get that have messages, I make it known from the beginning: take me the way I am, and respect my boundaries, and Ill do the same in return. But Im not here to hold someone's hand to walk them through this... I have so many medical problems that everyone else's issues dont mean anything to me to be drop dead honest.

sammyjowedeking

Well you've had six pages of explanations, but not responded to any of them.

It is precisely that lack of interaction that is why so many people like to have a message with friend requests.

Excuse me but I put this post up last night and some people do like to sleep for work the next day. Dont get your panties in a wad. I will respond after i get off work. Im sorry princess

I believe you now have the answer as to why people ignore your friend requests. Maturity is a good thing.

^^This.

I never said people ignored my friend requests? And I am mature. The original poster just seemed like a prick and I called him out on it. no biggie

Her, actually.

Incidentally, you may wish to consider the fact that name calling is widely interpreted in Western society as an immature behaviour.

Its not like i called the person a meany head. grow up

beccarockslife

I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

Can someone explain this to me?

Because some people are douche bags?
Because it's my page and I'll do what I want with it?

Chrissy9632

I would happily accept any friend requests from people who want to give positive support and the evil neccessary of constructive criticism as motivation. Sometimes I do need that kick of "what the heck were you thinking eating McDonald's?"

Chrissy9632

Though I did end up deleting one person once because I felt their kind of posting was not good for me. It was 100% negative. This person talked down about theirselves in EVERY post. I feel a negative attitude can be contagious.

I feel the exact same way.

bassanne

Not trying to be negative, but this is not a social function for me, it is about me, and changing my life. I comment on other posts and so on, and I receive encouragement from reading posts, but I have only 5 "friends" on here. I don't request to be anyone's friend. Maybe this will help you understand the difference in people on here.

NovemberJune

There's no point adding a load of friends you will never have time to interact with. I keep a shorter friend list so that I actually have the time to read through my feed and encourage them. I wouldn't want all of my friends to have 1000 friends either, because then I know they wouldn't have time to give me encouragement, advice, whatever.

Lily_Rose

I'm an introvert.

I only make some things public.

If I see you post in a forum, I'll cheer you on.

I don't want people I don't know, like and respect (which means getting to know you first) as "friends".

Actually, the only person I've "friended" so far is someone that I know I have a lot in common with from another forum.

My real life best friend is on here, and I haven't "friended" her here yet.

There are some things I want to be private.

I initially came here for the food/exercise tracking tools, not the "support".

This^
People are on this site for different reasons. Some of us mainly use the Calorie Tracking.

littlepinkhearts

Because if they deny said Friend Request...then they gotta look at threads called "Why do people deny Friend Requests?" :yawn:

FR89

so true... its just lame whoever has that written on their profile... every new friend request makes me happy .. more friend means more support .. because some are more regular then others but its a community/friends circle feel.. we're all here for the same purpose end of the day...

PS. anyone who wants more friends.. feel free to add me x

smplycomplicated

I accept all FR's. I've been pretty lucky..I've only had a few that have turned out to be perv's. when that happens I send them a message telling them why i'm removing them. I'm not here for a "Hook-up" so once they cross that line *Remove* I don't mind innocent flirting, But when you start getting all gross about it it's time for you to go.

Joannie30

I personally don't tend to leave a message when I add someone, but only because I wouldn't expect someone to HAVE to leave a message to add me. As a previous poster has very rightly said, this is a support website. We should all be open to one another.

Anyone can add me, at any time and leaving a message is fine, just the same as no message is fine.

SwtMelissa86

I agree fully. I accept any friend requests and, in fact, encourage people to add me as a friend because I can use the motivation and I am happy to provide the same in return.

Great post/topic. Glad you brought it up.

Cheers!

Jeff

^what he said...

rml_16

I personally don't tend to leave a message when I add someone, but only because I wouldn't expect someone to HAVE to leave a message to add me. As a previous poster has very rightly said, this is a support website. We should all be open to one another.

Anyone can add me, at any time and leaving a message is fine, just the same as no message is fine.

Translation: My way is the right way and poo on anyone who prefers anything different.

Priincess_Natalie

I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

Can someone explain this to me?

For me, I like to keep my friend list strictly female, save 1 dude (he was my first MFP friend). I also don't want to have too many friends to keep up with. I like keeping a close knit group so I have time to see what everyone had to say for the day, read their food diaries and try to be as supportive as I can.

When my friends list is too full I have a hard time keeping up with everyone and showing the kind of support I want to give. I'm not a snob by any means but I only have so much time per day to spend on MFP and want to make as large of a positive impact as I can and feel that's best reached by keeping my friends list small, and female

mrsdizzyd84

I've discovered that a lot of folks who don't send messages with their FRs also don't comment or post status updates. I like to have active friends. Therefore, if you don't take the time to leave a message I won't accept your request unless I've seen you around the forums or your profile looks interesting.

It has nothing to do with whether I think I'm better than anyone else. I just have enough silent "friends" as it is.

hesn92

You don't have to understand it. I have like 100 friends on here and most of them I don't talk to. How can I? that's WAY too many people to keep up with. I'm not asking much by wanting a little message with the friend request so that I can know where they found me or why they want to be friends. Otherwise, it's just some random nobody on the interwebs added onto my collection of "friends" that I don't talk to. I don't know how anyone can expect me to leave inspirational comments on all their shiz when I just got some random friend request from someone who I have never seen before, having no idea where they found me or why they decided they wanted to be friends with me.

Prettylittlelotus

I add almost everyone. I don't add men typically, unless I can tell by there profile that they're serious about the site and not just trolling. I don't require a message, because honestly, even though I send messages it's really uncomfortable to reach out to a stranger and say "hey, I need support." That's one of the hardest things a person can do, we come to this site already vulnerable and uncomfortable with ourselves, why would I make someone feel even more uncomfortable? This isn't facebook. We're supposed to be a community that is a safe environment for everyone involved.

Anyone that would like an active, supportive friend on MFP can add me WITHOUT a message.

Cheers!

fitnhealthykaren

I do prefer it when someone tells me why they want to be friends with me - it's nice when someone wants to be friends due to commonality. And, I will unfriend someone who has eating or exercise habits that I don't agree with. To each their own, but I just don't want to see bad habits on my news feed.

determined2lose89

I am one of those “people” that asks for a little message with a friend request. This ISN’T facebook where I know the person who is adding me on the other end. Yes, this is a support website, but it doesn’t hurt just to say “Hi! I’d like to add you as a friend because we have similar goals/lifestyles” or “I’d like to add you because you gave some great advice on the forum!” It’s not that hard, really. Additionally, if people send a friend request, even with a little message and neglect to comment on any of my food diaries, weigh ins, workouts, etc, and I’m supporting them, then I’ll delete them. It’s a give and take friendship here.

UsedToBeHusky

I actually, just today, stop accepting friend requests all together. I have over 200+ friends... (well I deleted a few that weren't active). It just gets hard to keep up. I miss some updates that I really wish I weren't missing because my feed is crowded out.

The other reason that I stopped is because a lot of people see my weight loss and they want to watch what I do so that they can achieve the same results. But I haven't been making a lot of progress, and its affecting my attitude a bit. I feel a bit out of control right now. So I really can't offer an example to others when I really don't feel like I have a handle on this thing right now.

In short, the decision not to accept friend requests is more about what the individual feels that they can manage and has nothing to do with anyone thinking that they are better than anyone else. Stop taking things so personally.

jpuderbaugh

I started only approving/requesting friendship from people I actually knew. Then some people who have a common weight loss goal requested me, and I thought "why not". Personally, some of the people on this site can be real a$$es, so I will not approve everybody. And yes, too many friends could totally make the news feed get out of hand. I however, do not delete friends if they haven't been on for a while. They could have a good reason for not being on (maybe a family member passed away and they are dealing with their emotions, maybe they are pregnant and having trouble with morning sickness). I find it rather rude to delete somebody for this reason. to me it's like saying "oh, so your life is more important than being on here to cheer me on, screw you! goodbye!"