Why do people ignore friend requests?

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Replies

  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Some people like to comment on all their friend's statuses and stuff and probably get a lot of requests too. I personally accept all requests, though I'm not always the best at commenting everything....
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.
  • amc42194
    amc42194 Posts: 7
    It's a little odd to me as well! I started a group on here called "Positive Modivation" and i tried to friend some of the first few members, and they wouldnt accept, but messaged me asking why I wanted to add them (I assume they didnt realize I started the group they joined). I think we should all be positive and helpful towards eachother! :) This isn't facebook lol
  • Losing2Live69
    Losing2Live69 Posts: 743 Member
    I wouldn't just walk up to anyone and everyone at the gym and ask them to be "friends" and ask them if we can support each other. I would be drawn to those in the gym that have things in common with me. The same is true online. Most of my friends on here are close in age to me and share other similarities (such as being in recovery, living with bipolar, or having a child in the military). I want to know someone has taken the time to read my profile and learn a little about me. I don't think it is rude to ask someone what it was that made them decide to send me a friend request. Some people (as said by others) are just "collectors". They know nothing about the people on their friends list.

    Just wait until you accept a friend request from someone who claims to be a single father, a Christian, a little league coach...and you find out he is on here to stalk women, get their phone numbers, find out where they live, make arrangements to meet them in public and then make sexual advances to them. There was someone on this site that did that very thing. He loved to approach the ladies on here with compliments and stories of his life as a single father. This particular person is no longer around, but there are plenty more like him.

    I think people, myself included, have every right to request a message with friend requests. I don't do it to try to be a snob or stuck up. I do it be safe. I don't make it a habit to become friends with strangers on the street and don't do it here (or on any other social site).
  • Emv79
    Emv79 Posts: 245 Member
    I can't speak for anyone else - but for me, I haven't accepted any new requests lately because I feel as though I don't have enough time or energy to respond to the friends that I have right now and I don't want to add new people only to ignore them.

    This is me too. I have a small group of "friends" on here and I keep it that way as I want to make sure I can be present for all of them and offer proper support/motivation (and obviously, this goes both ways) on a regular basis. It's not that I don't want to offer support to anyone else, but I'm thinking quality before quantity. If someone really wants to send me a friend request because they see similarities or read a post of mine that they relate to, then they can send me a note saying that and I'll most probably add them.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    I wonder if those of you who keep replying how baffled you are that someone didn't accept your FR are actually reading these valid reasons. :laugh:
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    I NEVER ignore friend requests. I accept or decline them. I decline them if they don't include a message because it's my choice. I'd like to know that they laughed about a post i made in a forum. Or we have mutual friends. Or i've got a great butt. Whatever.
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.

    Ok. Now I'm skeered.

    :noway:
  • Alma_Sana
    Alma_Sana Posts: 453 Member
    I'm shy and private. I have a small, but excellent group of friends here, and that makes me happy. Do you want me to be unhappy or something?

    Depends...

    Please fill out this questionnaire:

    A. Political Affiliation
    B. Blood Type
    C. Am I Nerd?
    D. Cats or Dogs
    E. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?
    F. Do you eat your exercise calories?
    G. Will lifting make women bulky?

    After you fill out that very informative survey I can properly answer your question.

    ;-)

    Just kidding, I mean you no harm :-D

    LOL Hilarious!
  • Emv79
    Emv79 Posts: 245 Member
    I wouldn't just walk up to anyone and everyone at the gym and ask them to be "friends" and ask them if we can support each other. I would be drawn to those in the gym that have things in common with me. The same is true online. Most of my friends on here are close in age to me and share other similarities.

    I think this is true as well. I'm pretty close to my goal weight and my focus now is reducing BF%. Most of the friends I have on here also have about 10lbs to lose and thus we're experiencing similar road blocks or successes.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    1) You didn't took 2 seconds to read my profile and expect me to figure out what we have in common?

    2) Just because we're on a support site doesn't mean we have to be friends. FRIENDS have things in common. I for example am here to talk about fitness, diet and the occassional humor. There are folks here who treat this like facebook and there is nothing wrong with it but I like to treat this as a fitness site so I tend to delete those kinds of friends or not accept their invite if I get that from their profile.

    3) I am not just a number in your friends list. I'm sure you're a great person however from childhood I've always kept a small but heavily trusted group friends. Friends who will help me in times of need and I will do the same. I am the same on MFP too. I keep a small group because I would like to take the time to know my friends. I'm sorry but if you have 400+ friends on your list, outside of maybe a few, the others are just a number on your friends list and you're keeping them there to huzzah to everything you do all the while you're keeping yourself limited to the few friends that you actually click with.

    I accept almost everybody who invites me, however without a message I will e-mail you asking you how you came about knowing me. You don't have to have similar goals or anything as me. My most favorite person on my friends list is a 60 years old grandma who the only thing I got in common with is that she jogs and so do I sometimes but she's THE most amazing person I know on MFP so no, we dont have to be perfectly compatible personalities but atleast give me some info about you...
  • libby328
    libby328 Posts: 287 Member
    Honestly I don't have that many friends on here, the ones I have are amazingly supportive! I will ignore a request ( sometimes
    ) if its a guy who only have females on his list that all look like models, hasn't filled out any of his information, never participates in threads or never updates his status. That to me looks like he is creeping! And I am not on here for that. It might sound judgmental but when you only add the ladies and you are a male with no picture yet have managed go accumulate 150. Friends kind of turns me in the opposite direction
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    I NEVER ignore friend requests. I accept or decline them. I decline them if they don't include a message because it's my choice. I'd like to know that they laughed about a post i made in a forum. Or we have mutual friends. Or i've got a great butt. Whatever.

    or if they have nice abs?
  • jwhit31
    jwhit31 Posts: 450 Member
    I don't ask for a message but I will deny requests w/out the profile info filled in unless I already know that person. Personally I like to interact with my friends and if I know nothing about you and don't have a clue what am I suppose to work with. I'm not a mean person but if I share some background info with my friends it's only fair that they do the same.
  • RocketsGirl
    RocketsGirl Posts: 339 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.

    Ok. Now I'm skeered.

    :noway:

    Hahaha oh yeah or detailed pm of what they would like to do with/to you.

    It happens.

    A lot.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.

    Ok. Now I'm skeered.

    :noway:

    Hahaha oh yeah or detailed pm of what they would like to do with/to you.

    It happens.

    A lot.

    That is how it gets started.. and men, you aren't immune from these advances. Some women/men acting to be women can write some pretty crazy stuff in pm's!
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Its difficult to keep up with a huge friend list, and I want to be able to interact with friends and have them interact with me. If they are unwilling to send a short message as to why they want to be friends with me, then that shows me how our friendship is going to be. I don't want to fill my friend list with a bunch of people I am not going to interact with. Some people are OK with being friends with people on here and not communicating at all, and some people are not. It is a site about support, and I want to be supportive and have supportive friends.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.

    Ok. Now I'm skeered.

    :noway:

    Hahaha oh yeah or detailed pm of what they would like to do with/to you.

    It happens.

    A lot.

    Do they ask if they can paint your toenails? I had one do that!
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

    Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

    Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

    Can someone explain this to me?

    Because it's hard to keep up with a million people at once. Because it's easier to provide support to a handful of people, usually people who have similar goals to you, than have so many posts on your wall feed you end up giving up on trying to keep up with them.
  • RocketsGirl
    RocketsGirl Posts: 339 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.

    Ok. Now I'm skeered.

    :noway:

    Hahaha oh yeah or detailed pm of what they would like to do with/to you.

    It happens.

    A lot.

    Do they ask if they can paint your toenails? I had one do that!

    Nope but some pretty descriptive details of other things with my feet.

    :noway:
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    i'm not going to read them all

    you have what? 35 friends. yes, you see why you all support one another. I have 189 or something. for MEm, it gets difficult. i actually interact on a constant basis with all my friends. I get new friend a 1or2 week "newbie" period and he we don't know, deny.


    and for not accepting frs with a message - it's just cause i want to know where you found me from. with me, that matter.
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
    I don't know about here - but I'm in another place where I got hundreds of friend requests - almost all obsessive collectors who never communicated. There is some psychological weirdness in some who just want to have a large number of "friends" and actually get offended if you message them,.
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    if someone asks for friend i say yes. A note is nice, something like, "saw your post" or "howdy neighbor" or "celiac too".... something that makes me want to at least read their profile...
    Have you read the profile of your friends?
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I add anyone that sends me a request... but will unfriend if they arent logging in.... or doing the job.
  • ChasingSweatandTears
    ChasingSweatandTears Posts: 504 Member
    I was on here for several months before I added anyone. It was just weird to me to have all these people knowing how much I weigh, or seeing what I eat etc... I didn't join the site for support, I joined it for the food diary. Now I have a few friends, and I like getting feedback and encouraging others, but that's still not the primary reason I'm here. I'm here to lose weight, get in shape and track my nutrients. I don't always accept requests without messages because I think it's odd that you would want to connect with me yet not tell me why. A message is polite. I also deny requests and or immediately remove people if I see extremely rude or obnoxious behavior on the forums. We all have our moments but if someone is consistently rude and condescending, I don't want them in my life in anyway, including online.

    It really shouldn't be a big deal. For every one person that denies you, there will be five more that will accept you. It's not personal at all. Everyone is here for their own reasons. The "social" aspect can be interesting but for many people, myself included, its completely optional and not a factor in my success.
    If you get wrapped up in the opinions of others, you risk losing sight of what's most important... Yourself.
  • secrets_out
    secrets_out Posts: 684 Member
    I want to know why I caught your eye then I'll accept, if you don't interact with me or have anything in common with me then I cut em.
  • DavidOfOz
    DavidOfOz Posts: 225
    I dont ignore friend requests!....I just never seem to get any.......Maybe if I changed my picture to a hot chick, they would come rolling in! :laugh:
  • dollipop
    dollipop Posts: 379 Member
    I think it's kinda rude to send a blank FR. If you want to be my friend, then you can at least say why. *shrugs*
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Honestly, why should I have to be everyone's friend? I don't want every last person on this site to be my "friend." I keep friends that I interact with often and have common interests with.

    If I want to interact with other people, I will use the forums.

    ^^this
  • dollipop
    dollipop Posts: 379 Member
    When you get your first unsolicited penis photo you'll understand.

    Ok. Now I'm skeered.

    :noway:

    Hahaha oh yeah or detailed pm of what they would like to do with/to you.

    It happens.

    A lot.

    Do they ask if they can paint your toenails? I had one do that!
    Lol, I had one ask if he could colour in my tattoo with a sharpie :wink:
    That was pretty clever.