Why do people ignore friend requests?

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  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    Because I have over 250 friends...all moms. I do not mind adding moms, but at least tell me something. if i added everyone that sent a FR (without a message) I would have over 400 friends...I do not mind helping people, but I can barely keep up with the friends that I have. It is nothing personal.
  • aproc
    aproc Posts: 1,033 Member
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    I ignore or remove when somebody is consistently eating too few calories and encouraging bad habits for others. I don't ignore others but I like to have friends with the same type of goals for motivation and support. But I'm always happy to give support to anybody.
  • RachelsReboot
    RachelsReboot Posts: 569 Member
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    Hmmm, I can only speak for myself and why I ask for a message first, for me it's because I don't feel like with a large list that I am able to give each person the kind of support I would like to. I like to know everyone's first names rather than calling them "socks" or "stinkfeet72" when my list get's over a certain number that becomes difficult to do. I also like to know that the people on my list are not going to bash my eating plan. I don't care what anyone elses plan is, I believe if it's working for you then it's the right one but not everyone feels that way and I have had people on my friends list who disagreed with my plan and were unable to give support because of it.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    I started off accepting requests without a message...but often found that the person would add me and then ...didnt make any kind of contact or comment for the rest of the time.. which i thought was weird....why add someone and then pretend like they dont exist.

    I like it when people just say hello or just an introductory message when they add me... its just friendlier...after all..its a "friend list":flowerforyou: its fine if people dont want to get to know me..but its always nice to make new friends and actually build a relationship while losing weight.
  • TanyaCurtis
    TanyaCurtis Posts: 630
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    Cause I have to many, I wanna be able to keep up with everyone, and I feel overwhelmed already! If their purposefully starving themselves to lose weight, if they don't have an actual picture of themselves up, and just things like that, I'd have to ignore, or delete :)
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
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    I'm shy and private. I have a small, but excellent group of friends here, and that makes me happy. Do you want me to be unhappy or something?

    Depends...

    Please fill out this questionnaire:

    A. Political Affiliation
    B. Blood Type
    C. Am I Nerd?
    D. Cats or Dogs
    E. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?
    F. Do you eat your exercise calories?
    G. Will lifting make women bulky?

    After you fill out that very informative survey I can properly answer your question.

    ;-)

    A Liberal
    B Whatever the most common type is. B+ maybe?
    C Kind of
    D Both. Either. Giraffes.
    E 3
    F Usually
    G No

    I eagerly await your response.

    After carefully grading and then using the bell curve.. I have came to this conclusion.... You're AWESOME. Only one you got docked for was C. ;-)
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
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    I add everyone who requests, but I do want to keep my friends list tight and full of active people who are willing to give and take motivation, suggestions, and help whether or not it's pretty. I do like to get notes with a request, though, just so I have some kind of idea who I am adding, especially if I get a request from someone who hasn't filled out their profile.
  • Drawberry
    Drawberry Posts: 104 Member
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    Most people don't walk up to strangers on the street, point at them and say "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW!" and I find it reasonable that someone would prefer some sort of polite contact before hand.
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
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    I'd rather keep a fairly small friends list, so I can keep up with the posts and reply to them once in a while. 100+ would be a nightmare.
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,332 Member
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    *shrug* Personal preference.
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
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    I don't think I'm better than anybody. If a stranger approached me in the street and told me they wanted to be my friend, I'd freak out. So, why would I be different online? I'm a private person and feel good with keeping some boundaries. Having said that, when a person doesn't include a message with their request, I go on a hunt and check if maybe we've posted on the same thread at some point or something.
    I won't add people who are on *what I consider* unhealthy programs, like the hcg diet.
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
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    this one time, on MPF, i had 150+ friends and felt so guilty that i couldn't keep track of who was who and was not able to be as supportive as i wanted to...that I quit.

    lousy, i know. so this time around I'm keeping it under 50.

    that said, more power to the people who have brains that can keep track of and have time to support over 150+ people.
    my limit is never meant to be exclusionary, but i just can't keep track of more than 50 or so... you know, real life gets in the way.
    commenting on people's news feed took up my workout time :noway: :tongue:

    people are free to use this site as they wish, so if you would like to have a bazillion friends, more power to you - i just wouldn't take it personally when someone is ignoring your friend request :flowerforyou:

    - - -

    Dunbar's number
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number

    While it can be as high as 230, it sounds like 150 is the agreed upon number.
    Poor old Waffler's number is below 50 for MFP :laugh:
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    First, I need a certain level of compatibility with the people I interact with on my friends list. I am... an interesting cookie, to put it mildly, and I'm not for everyone and everyone is not for me.

    Second, I get a lot of friend requests. If I accepted and kept everyone, my newsfeed would be impossible to keep up with, and I like my interactions on here to be meaningful... with too many people, I wouldn't have time to keep up and say meaningful things to my friends to support them.

    Or I'm just a stuck-up b*tch. Yea, let's go with that.
  • MariaAlbina
    MariaAlbina Posts: 131 Member
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    I only add women. I'm tired of guys talking to me about things other than weight loss, if you know what I mean. It's very annoying and a lot of my female 'friends' are from another forum I'm on so I feel like I really know them and it's more comfortable.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    I have never turned down a request. I probably would turn down one from a local person... especially a student since I am a teacher and that violates some online standards. I would guess some are nervous about online predators and such... Some may feel a bit iffy about males if they are female and vice versa... Different people have different reasons.
  • tomakehermine
    tomakehermine Posts: 77
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    i don't ignore any requests c:
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I receive between 10-20 friend requests a day on high days and 4-5 on low days. If there is no message, I don't know why it is they want to be friends. I like to be supportive, but I can barely support most of the friends I have. Adding a message also shows you aren't a "friend ho" just adding people for the sake of adding them.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Most people don't walk up to strangers on the street, point at them and say "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW!" and I find it reasonable that someone would prefer some sort of polite contact before hand.

    I'm going to try that tomorrow. I will report back with my findings.
  • sammi402
    sammi402 Posts: 232 Member
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    I've never denied a friend request. I don't require messages either. I figure if someone sends me a FR it's because they are looking for support/motivation and if I can provide that, then that is awesome. I also don't delete people from my friends list unless they are just being nasty.

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  • EuroReady
    EuroReady Posts: 199 Member
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    Some people just add you to accumulate an impressive number of friends. It's Facebook syndrome. From what I have found, many just want you as another tally on their list and ignore your updates and even your support for them. I'll add anyone, but I won't hesitate to unfriend if I see this happening. They don't even notice when I'm gone. Also, I get really genuinely happy for the successes of the people on my friends list. If I accumulate too many, it will become less genuine and I'd hate for that to happen.

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