Why do people ignore friend requests?

Papillon22

I don't think I'm better than anybody. If a stranger approached me in the street and told me they wanted to be my friend, I'd freak out. So, why would I be different online? I'm a private person and feel good with keeping some boundaries. Having said that, when a person doesn't include a message with their request, I go on a hunt and check if maybe we've posted on the same thread at some point or something.
I won't add people who are on *what I consider* unhealthy programs, like the hcg diet.

L00py_T0ucan

this one time, on MPF, i had 150+ friends and felt so guilty that i couldn't keep track of who was who and was not able to be as supportive as i wanted to...that I quit.

lousy, i know. so this time around I'm keeping it under 50.

that said, more power to the people who have brains that can keep track of and have time to support over 150+ people.
my limit is never meant to be exclusionary, but i just can't keep track of more than 50 or so... you know, real life gets in the way.
commenting on people's news feed took up my workout time :noway:

people are free to use this site as they wish, so if you would like to have a bazillion friends, more power to you - i just wouldn't take it personally when someone is ignoring your friend request :flowerforyou:

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Dunbar's number
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number

While it can be as high as 230, it sounds like 150 is the agreed upon number.
Poor old Waffler's number is below 50 for MFP :laugh:

Nerdy_Rose

First, I need a certain level of compatibility with the people I interact with on my friends list. I am... an interesting cookie, to put it mildly, and I'm not for everyone and everyone is not for me.

Second, I get a lot of friend requests. If I accepted and kept everyone, my newsfeed would be impossible to keep up with, and I like my interactions on here to be meaningful... with too many people, I wouldn't have time to keep up and say meaningful things to my friends to support them.

Or I'm just a stuck-up b*tch. Yea, let's go with that.

MariaAlbina

I only add women. I'm tired of guys talking to me about things other than weight loss, if you know what I mean. It's very annoying and a lot of my female 'friends' are from another forum I'm on so I feel like I really know them and it's more comfortable.

kdeaux1959

I have never turned down a request. I probably would turn down one from a local person... especially a student since I am a teacher and that violates some online standards. I would guess some are nervous about online predators and such... Some may feel a bit iffy about males if they are female and vice versa... Different people have different reasons.

tomakehermine

i don't ignore any requests c:

becoming_a_new_me

I receive between 10-20 friend requests a day on high days and 4-5 on low days. If there is no message, I don't know why it is they want to be friends. I like to be supportive, but I can barely support most of the friends I have. Adding a message also shows you aren't a "friend ho" just adding people for the sake of adding them.

Contrarian

Most people don't walk up to strangers on the street, point at them and say "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW!" and I find it reasonable that someone would prefer some sort of polite contact before hand.

I'm going to try that tomorrow. I will report back with my findings.

sammi402

I've never denied a friend request. I don't require messages either. I figure if someone sends me a FR it's because they are looking for support/motivation and if I can provide that, then that is awesome. I also don't delete people from my friends list unless they are just being nasty.


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EuroReady

Some people just add you to accumulate an impressive number of friends. It's Facebook syndrome. From what I have found, many just want you as another tally on their list and ignore your updates and even your support for them. I'll add anyone, but I won't hesitate to unfriend if I see this happening. They don't even notice when I'm gone. Also, I get really genuinely happy for the successes of the people on my friends list. If I accumulate too many, it will become less genuine and I'd hate for that to happen.

missashley884

some people treat this like myspace (not everyone!) but they just go around racking up friends, and then never interact. if someone cant take two seconds to send a short message with a friend request i doubt theyll interact with me on my journey. and surprisingly time and time this tends to be true, but like i said not for everyone! i send messages to almost everyone i request !

llamalland

I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

Can someone explain this to me?

Because there are A. collectors, people who just friend request everyone. B. It's really hard to keep up with your news feed once you get over 100 friends. I'm at 160 now and I'm going to have to trim back again. So friend requests help you pick out people that you want to have with you on the journey. It shows a little bit of effort. I'm a bit rough in that I usually cut people once they stopped logging on for a week, unless they say they are on vacation or something. I want to give quality support and inspirations to my friends. It's more personable and less just basic.. GOOD JOBS...

This exactly. I'm below 20 friends, and it's more than enough. I agree personal support (someone who takes time to read my diary as I do theirs), and someone with whom I have some things (besides weight loss/fitness) in common, is nice too.

d2footballJRC

Most people don't walk up to strangers on the street, point at them and say "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW!" and I find it reasonable that someone would prefer some sort of polite contact before hand.

I'm going to try that tomorrow. I will report back with my findings.

I'll start a paypal charity for your bail money. Look at that I'm not even friends with you and I'm using the "forums to motivate and encourage you on your path that will most likely end up with restraining orders and/or jail time"

Le_Joy

If someone isn't in a "group" with me and doesn't send a msg I won't add them. It is a support website and I want to know I have something in common with someone and don't want to just add a million friends cuz then I wouldn't be able to really help support them.

RocketsGirl

So glad you posted this.

I haven't seen this ever discussed on here before.

:flowerforyou:

Jena_72

When you hit around 200 or so, it will make sense.

THIS

Pocket_Pixi

My profile says that because I like to know where people have seen me and if we have anything in common. Yes its a support website. and no I do not think I am really too good to add people (I am pretty awesome though) . I request messages because it shows that the person isn't just adding me to be adding me and that either my profile or something I have said in the forums has caught their attention. I tend to get to know the people on my friends list and interact with them frequently I do not like just adding ppl willy nilly and ending up with a full list of people I do not know that rarely support/talk to me.

Trail_Addict

When you start getting 5- 10 requests per day, you'll understand. If you can't send a simple message with your request, what makes me think you'll interact with me?

beckylawrence70

Cuz they're rude, my opinion, I accept anyone and everyone, if for some odd reason I don't like you or you don't like me, I'll delete you or you delete me, but to not give someone a chance is rude and ignorant.......and I don't need constant interaction nor will I give constant interaction......

HMVOL7409

I'm pretty private, but feel comfortable with people with similar goals. Honestly I get annoyed by people that complain about the scale not moving but when you see their diary, they have fast food, Starbucks and chocolate candy everyday. Why? I understand you are at a calorie deficit but it's just not inline with myself. I don't add males bc the only male support I need is my husband and I've seen some crude people on here. I've also been "schooled" by some and I have to laugh. I maybe female but I'm not ignorant and I actually know a great deal about lifting etc.

ctalimenti

I'm a crappy friend. I find cool people but then never really look at the feeds. I don't tend to need a lot of encouragment.

I'm more active on the forum but I think that there's not a lot of interaction there either. Most people just comment or answer the question. I guess the forum is good for information only.

tross0924

Personally I accept all. But fair warning, I'm here for me, not you. I'm not going to comment on your posts. I'm not going to keep up with my news feed. I generally read them all, but only a few actual friends get comments. If I was trying to comment on everyone's activities though I'd definitely have a much smaller friends list. And if you don't log in for 6 months, consider yourself removed

Contrarian

Most people don't walk up to strangers on the street, point at them and say "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW!" and I find it reasonable that someone would prefer some sort of polite contact before hand.

I'm going to try that tomorrow. I will report back with my findings.

I'll start a paypal charity for your bail money. Look at that I'm not even friends with you and I'm using the "forums to motivate and encourage you on your path that will most likely end up with restraining orders and/or jail time"

See? Friends without being "friends". I encourage you to ignore any friend request from me, and I will do the same. We're too good for social norms.

bigdawg025

1. It's my choice.

2. I once had 273 friends and, although it was awesome to see 30-35 comments on my statuses... it was incredibly overwhelming and impossible to keep up.

So now... I prefer my smaller list... 61 at the present time... under 100 is good... anything more is too much IMO.

And... there is a lot less drama this way as well...

MiniMichelle

I am a bewbie shaking, kiss blowing, *kitten* slapping b@&*h... I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

CoryIda

I can deal with it if you think I am a b!tch for being picky. The fact is, MFP is as much for the social aspect for me as the fitness stuff at this point, and I'd rather only have people I actually feel like I have something to talk to about.

d2footballJRC

I am a bewbie shaking, kiss blowing, *kitten* slapping b@&*h... I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

I didn't know they had tea like that... Is that like a spicy green tea?

Sp1nGoddess

I have over 100 friends and I really do try to keep up with them all. I like to know how someone found me or why we should be friends.. I like to give all my friends attention and without a message, personal pic or open profile I don't know what I'm getting in to.

futuremalestripper

I think some just hit a limit where they can't handle more friends because they can't keep in communication with everyone. Also, I notice a lot of attractive women and/or women in committed relationships ignore pretty much everyone because they don't want a billion guys hitting on them. Which makes sense.

I'm still in the pre-ignore stage. I first need people to try to add me before I can start to ignore them.
That being said, I actually hesitate from trying to add people because I question what committment is inferred by adding them. If there is no communication prior to adding someone, you won't know what's going on in their head. Then again, I overthink everything. Maybe people are just picky

tabulator32

What if you were a stringent vegan and you unwittingly befriend the head of the committee for the office of the advocacy of pork barbeque?

Or, you're an avid barbeque chef and you haphazardly befriend the president of PITA?

In the long run, it pays to invest a little thought and consideration in making friends.

If two people are vehemently opposed to each others views on important aspects of their life, it may detract from the task at hand, which is concentrating on losing weight and being healthy.

Say what you will but it would be pointless to expect everyone to be able to be friends with everyone.