Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

Options
1…1213151718…42

Replies

  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
    Options
    Of course a guy should pay. Women don't know the first thing about money.

    Or maybe we know more than you think, that's why we're always getting y'all to pay for stuff lol


    Just thought I'd mention though, the whole men paying for dates thing started way back when women didn't work and therefore had no money and needed to be "taken care of." These days, at our own request, we are able to be independently financially successful. So why should we still expect men to bear all the financial burden of dating? We can't have it both ways. If a man invites you out, then sure, he should pay for you. If you, as a woman, invite a man out, you should at least offer to pay. If he's old fashioned and wouldn't think of it, no problem, let him pay for you. But remember, we're the ones who asked to be treated as equals.
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    i asked the guy im going with "so when are you gunna ask me out" and he said hed love to take me to a movie but he is tight on money and wondered if id want to go to the park lol. so i suggested we go on 5 dollar tuesday and ill pay my own way. seriously not a big deal.
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
    Options
    First meeting - Split it.
    First date - if he is insistent on paying, I will oblige but prefer to split things. I think that things should start off being 50/50 and continue that direction.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Options
    First date - I would say the guy pays, after that it's just as you go. I never think too hard about who's paying when I go out, but it is cool when a girl pays. And I don't mean insists that she's going to pay and has a big discussion, I mean just gets the money out and hands it over without discussion.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
    Options
    I get asked on a lot of dates and I only go on the ones with the guys that I really like. To me it honestly just seem like its a numbers game to guys. If they ask out a bunch of girls eventually one will say yes.

    Of course it is a numbers game.

    What else do you expect them to do? Sit at home, crying, hoping that women will ask him out?

    More women should ask men out. I actually invited my bf out for the first time (it was a group happy hour), and he beat me to the first-date asking out--kinda caught me off guard! I was going to ask him to go to dinner with me and before I could even get the sentence out he asked me out first. I just think if you're interested, do something about it.
  • SassyAshleigh
    SassyAshleigh Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    If he asks you out, then he needs to pay, especially on the first date. Now, if you come to a place where you are both exclusive, a little later on, then it needs to be a little back and forth. That's when you are both in a relationship. If you are not in a relationship, then it's considered courting/dating and a gentleman always pays. ALSO, you don't have to always spend money on dates. Since the summer is coming, there are so many festivals and free things to do in cities (Atlanta is near me so I'm in it almost every weekend.) Be creative and enjoy each others company.
  • msmoxie68
    msmoxie68 Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    The way I was raised, if the guy invites you to a date first, second, etc. then he is obligated to pay. If you have compromised beforehand and the offer of "go dutch" then yes you split the bill (food, movie, cab fare, etc.) equally in half. If you invite him to a date, then expect to cover the expenses as you would expect of him. Relationships are based on fairness, treat him as you would want him to treat you :flowerforyou:
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    I get asked on a lot of dates and I only go on the ones with the guys that I really like. To me it honestly just seem like its a numbers game to guys. If they ask out a bunch of girls eventually one will say yes.

    Of course it is a numbers game.

    What else do you expect them to do? Sit at home, crying, hoping that women will ask him out?

    More women should ask men out. I actually invited my bf out for the first time (it was a group happy hour), and he beat me to the first-date asking out--kinda caught me off guard! I was going to ask him to go to dinner with me and before I could even get the sentence out he asked me out first. I just think if you're interested, do something about it.

    AGREED :)
  • Brechin89
    Brechin89 Posts: 92
    Options
    Uhhh No. I wouldn't buy your dinner unless I asked you out.

    This is a touch subject though. My girlfriend currently works and I get side jobs. She makes min wage... I pay the bills in my house without a job, I buy the food, i pay for everything. The only thing she has to pay for is her car insurance and her phone bill... She wants me to get a job so I can help her out because she's broke all the time. I say when I get a job I got to focus on me and progressing my life. I may love you but I'm not going to hand you my money because I depend on it. Even if i had a job I'd still be the same way. Some people would call it greedy I call it looking out for myself.

    You want to impress me, show me that your independent. Have your own job, your own money, your own car etc...
  • ActiveGuy81
    ActiveGuy81 Posts: 705 Member
    Options
    BAMFMeredith:
    [/quote]Just thought I'd mention though, the whole men paying for dates thing started way back when women didn't work and therefore had no money and needed to be "taken care of." These days, at our own request, we are able to be independently financially successful. So why should we still expect men to bear all the financial burden of dating? We can't have it both ways. If a man invites you out, then sure, he should pay for you. If you, as a woman, invite a man out, you should at least offer to pay. If he's old fashioned and wouldn't think of it, no problem, let him pay for you. But remember, we're the ones who asked to be treated as equals.
    [/quote]


    Very well said.


    Of course I would be the one that sucks at quoting someone on here,
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Options
    The person who requests the date should offer to pay.
  • abnerner
    abnerner Posts: 452 Member
    Options
    Yes - I think always. After the first date, it can be split, etc.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    Options
    I agree with you - if he can't afford to feed me, he can't afford to see me. Tho it doesn't have to cost $75 .. that would be a special occasion
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    Options
    Just wanting to know everyone's view on who should pay on a frist date. I know equal right and all that but if I guy does not pay for me on the first date I just assume he is a tight a*rse and he not getting a second date.

    Sunday night, first date, dinner came to $75 I gave him $50 and he took it and did not offer any change, hmm nice!

    WOW! That's a deal breaker. The gentlemanly thing to do would to have said your money's no good here. if you asked HIM out then dutch is cool.

    Chivalry isn't DEAD just harder to find these days!
  • sherrirb
    sherrirb Posts: 1,714 Member
    Options
    Whoever initiated and asked the other person out on a date, that is who should be paying.

    If it was a casual "Hey, wanna catch a bite after work?" then it should be dutch. But if he actually asked you out on a date then he should pay.

    Not too many people know ettiquette anymore and that is sad
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    Options
    I get asked on a lot of dates and I only go on the ones with the guys that I really like. To me it honestly just seem like its a numbers game to guys. If they ask out a bunch of girls eventually one will say yes.

    Of course it is a numbers game.

    What else do you expect them to do? Sit at home, crying, hoping that women will ask him out?

    More women should ask men out. I actually invited my bf out for the first time (it was a group happy hour), and he beat me to the first-date asking out--kinda caught me off guard! I was going to ask him to go to dinner with me and before I could even get the sentence out he asked me out first. I just think if you're interested, do something about it.

    AGREED :)

    Rightttt but we all know most guys dont want the girl who has to ask for dates. Unless you were friends prior, any girl asking total strangers out on dates looks totally desperate. Sorry to break it to everyone. But guys be honest here, would you be going after the woman that no one else even wants to ask out?
  • sel254
    sel254 Posts: 273 Member
    Options
    Regardless of who asked who, I'm ALWAYS prepared to pay my own way. Nice bonus if they insist on footing the whole bill, but I'm certainly not covering them until we know each other better and it looks like it's going somewhere!
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Options
    IMO, whoever asks should pay. Dutch treat isn't a date in my book.
  • Mashizou
    Mashizou Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    If he invited her out then he should pay. If she invited him out then she should pay. If they decided, mutually, that they wanted to go out then they should each pay for their own half.

    This could just be me, but, I actually feel objectified when someone I barely know insists on paying for food that I ate.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Options
    Well, that guy was a jerk, he could have at least payed half!! I can't believe he let you pay 2/3rds. I think the person who invites the other should pay, otherwise split right down the middle. Splitting down the middle implies more friendship than "hey I want to date you" though. Don't call that guy back.

Categories