Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

Ctripp86

To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

....<crickets chirping>......

lala11975

I would say Yes, the guy should pay. Especially if he asked you out, which he did. I would offer money, but he should say, no I got it (especially if he wanted a 2nd date). What a jerk! If he asks why you won't go out with him again, tell him "to be honest on our 1st date I politely Offered to pay some of the bill, but you weren't supposed to actually take it from me." I say move on to another guy!!

love22step

This is a bit off-topic, but that reminds me... if you live in a place where women get paid as much as men for doing the exact same job, please let me know the city. I need to move there! In publishing we get paid about 30% less than males, at least we do in my corner of the world.

Otherwise, carry on with your topic.

I found a job like that, but it took me to a number of places. The military paid that way, so I stayed over 24 years. As a woman in the military, I had to work harder than the men and be a little tougher in some ways to get ahead, but I've always enjoyed challenges and change, so it was good fit for me. When I initially enlisted, only 2 percent of the US Air Force was female. That number was up to around 14 percent when I retired in 1996. As a side bonus, I learned a lot about men.

victoria4321

To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

....<crickets chirping>......

Lol I never have. The most I'll do is drop hints. if the guy doesnt ask I assume he's either not interested or lacks self confidence, two things that I dont want.

love22step

To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

....<crickets chirping>......

Lol I never have. The most I'll do is drop hints. if the guy doesnt ask I assume he's either not interested or lacks self confidence, two things that I dont want.

ditto

Rhea30

I would say Yes, the guy should pay. Especially if he asked you out, which he did. I would offer money, but he should say, no I got it (especially if he wanted a 2nd date). What a jerk! If he asks why you won't go out with him again, tell him "to be honest on our 1st date I politely Offered to pay some of the bill, but you weren't supposed to actually take it from me." I say move on to another guy!!

So you offer but really have no true intention on offering and if he accepts your offer because he didn't understand that you were just lying about offering then he is a jerk? That sounds like a jerkish move to me.

crisanderson27

forget all this

in the south we arm-wrestle for that sht

South...New York??

:bigsmile:

Tonnina

If he asked you out, then he pays, if you asked him, you pay... If he's a gentleman, he will refuse taking any money from you and always pay no matter who asked who out to dinner.

Tropicalgirl3

If he asked you out...OF COURSE he should pay. Again I am the older generation but I believe whoever does the asking does the paying. Unless you are "just friends"....then split it!!

coachblt

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

crisanderson27

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

Yep...that about covers it lol.

Doreen_Murray

Now I have to give birth AND pay for dinner?!?! Damn hippies!

coachblt

Yep...that about covers it lol.

I'm sure there's more to come. Others opinions are ignorant if not their own. Keep watching and enjoy!

Rhea30

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

marieautumn

Of course the man should pay. if he cant afford/doesnt want to pay, then why is he asking me out in the first place? i dont want to date a woman, i want to date a MAN.

The difference between men and women is in our chromosomes, not in some out-dated theory on who should pay (dating back to when most women didn't have money because they didn't work). Maybe he's asking you out because he thinks you're interesting or kind or open-minded or very attractive. Shame that all he's going to get is a cheap, self-centered and sexist young lady whose idea of a meaningful relationship is entertainment at someone else's expense. My comment may seem harsh to you, but if you were a man, my guess is you wouldn't hold that same opinion.

blah blah blah.
I am totally self-sufficient. I bought my own home at 21 years old as a single mother, and have supported myself completely to date (age 25). I work my butt off every day, and I don’t expect anything handed to me. I agree not all people have the same ideas as I do on dating, but I don’t believe it makes me shallow for wanting a man to play the traditional male role. I have no respect for a man who allows a woman to pay for him all the time and if a man asks me out, he is expected to pay. If he were to suggest I pay, I of course would, but I would never see him again.
I also don’t believe in living together before marriage; feel free to attack that theory too. At the end of the day I’m doing just fine.

yoovie

To those that say whoever asks should pay which I agree with... how many of you on here have asked a guy out for a "first date"?

....<crickets chirping>......

didnt see that

I HAVE I HAVE!!!

We took turns buying rounds! It was hella fun! Especially cause we got the same amount of buzzed! I didnt mind drinking like I normally do cause I was paying for half of it- took all the pressure off to act like a perfect lady and we could just guffaw and have a great time. He was a good kisser too. He got to second base that night.

victoria4321

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

if you read who I responded to she clearly stated that she acted like a man.

Rhea30

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

if you read who I responded to she clearly stated that she acted like a man.

I did and your view to me is still very ignorant.

crisanderson27

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

Ignorant.

coachblt

It doesn't matter who is ignorant, I would've kept it to myself, that's all. No need to start any MORE drama that seems to be lingering on these message boards today. For example, look at the sexy pics = desperate people thread.

:grumble:

Bikerjewelz

Lol. My bf is a recovering addict, and reading this thread I am reminded of an na mantra... "Principles before personalities"

Susabelle64

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

Yep...that about covers it lol.

LOL, I guess I would be in for a shock too! The reality is, do what feels right to you! If you feel he should have paid, then you are right. If you believe that you should have split it, then you are right too. This is more about personal values and finding someone who shares the same values as you. If you were raised to believe that the man should show gentlemanly behavior by offering to pay, you should be with a man that believes the same. It all works out. It is obvious that things are changing and perhaps more and more people will be splitting the bills on first dates regardless of who does the asking.

Dates are to get to know each other, they dont have to be expensive and if you are using someone for a free meal, shame on you. My personal expectations would be if I was asked out to eat, the guy picked the restaurant, he would pay. If I picked the restaurant I would choose something reasonable to me, I would also be prepared to chip in. But honestly, if a guy asked me to a restaurant he couldnt or didnt want to afford, I would seriously doubt his sincerity.

budhandy

Im old fashioned and when i used to date, yes I always paid.

Rhea30

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

Ignorant.

Then its ignorant to you but I still think it raises a red flag if a man is that bent on never letting a woman pay. What reason is behind it? Why can't a woman help pay? Is it just out of politeness or is it a mark against his own ego? Basically what is so bad with a woman wanting to pay or help pay the bill?

rumpusparable

Coming in late and avoiding the drama:

I feel that whoever asked for the date should pay.

And yes, many females ask males on dates, especially if it's past the first one.

In fact, my husband and I still continue this pattern after 15yrs together... if I ask him out that night, I pay. If he asks me, he pays.

BAMFMeredith

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

if you read who I responded to she clearly stated that she acted like a man.

I said that in regards to dating. I really hope you don't think I literally went around acting like a dude. That's ridiculous. I approached dating the way men do, by asking somebody out if I was interested in seeing them. I guess I kinda think it's a waste of time to sit and drop hints in hopes a guy will ask you out...just my opinion.

msrat1

Coming in late and avoiding the drama:

I feel that whoever asked for the date should pay.

And yes, many females ask males on dates, especially if it's past the first one.

In fact, my husband and I still continue this pattern after 15yrs together... if I ask him out that night, I pay. If he asks me, he pays.

I agree...whom ever initiated the date should pay unless the other person stongly insist on paying...

crisanderson27

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

Ignorant.

Then its ignorant to you but I still think it raises a red flag if a man is that bent on never letting a woman pay. What reason is behind it? Why can't a woman help pay? Is it just out of politeness or is it a mark against his own ego? Basically what is so bad with a woman wanting to pay or help pay the bill?

But honestly, what is so bad about either of those reasons? Whether it be out of politeness, or even whether it's a mark against his ego? And here's a shocking concept...maybe it's about appreciation?

Either way it's not a matter of control.

missallenxox

of course a man should pay the first, second, third, etc date lol. the only acceptable time to pay for him is when you are a legit couple and you want to show him a treat cause he does deserve it really.

coachblt

Times certainly have changed since I've been out there. No wonder I'm still single and will be for a while. If this is such a heated topic...where posters start name calling...just for paying for dinner, I can't imagine what else is so damn difficult????

Ignorant for paying for a date? Seriously?

WOW!

My comment about a post being ignorant was a person who was stating a woman is pretending to be a man if she ask a man out. Not to yours. I pointed to yours to why its a good reason for a woman to try to pay since I would stay away from any guy who "lets" a woman do something.

Which is why I immediately pointed to yours...as ignorant. Any woman who feels that a guy not 'letting' her pay for their date is trying to control her...is, well...to use your excellent turn of phrase again...

Ignorant.

Then its ignorant to you but I still think it raises a red flag if a man is that bent on never letting a woman pay. What reason is behind it? Why can't a woman help pay? Is it just out of politeness or is it a mark against his own ego? Basically what is so bad with a woman wanting to pay or help pay the bill?

You need to read the entire thing again. It wasn't never pay for a date...just not on the first 3 or so.