Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

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  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    The girl should pay if she expects me to give it up.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Rightttt but we all know most guys dont want the girl who has to ask for dates. Unless you were friends prior, any girl asking total strangers out on dates looks totally desperate. Sorry to break it to everyone. But guys be honest here, would you be going after the woman that no one else even wants to ask out?

    Are you kidding me? I've asked guys out plenty of times and never been turned down. Did it all the time in college, and not just to guys I already knew. I think men find it attractive when a woman goes after what she wants. Has nothing to do with being desperate, if men can play the field and go on dates with several different women before deciding to get serious with one, why can't women do the same? I seriously lived like a man in college...
    if you enjoy pretending to be a man then more power to you. Dont complain when men dont respect and treat you like a lady though.

    And duh of course they're not gonna turn you down. They probably think its a free ticket to your drawers lol.

    Another thing I wanna add is a man paying applies to potential relationshio dates. If you want a booty call, then it doesnt even matter
    Wow...just wow.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    Honestly? My ex asked me out and we dated for 2 years. And believe me, she didn't ask because she couldn't get a date, she asked because she wanted to date me. Big difference.

    Why didnt you ask her though?
    I thought she was out of my league.
  • All4Tris
    All4Tris Posts: 215 Member
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    DEAL BREAKER... especially on the first date! I'm guessing he didn't want a second date...

    ETA... The only thing I offer to pay on the first date is the tip and I might give him the side-eye if he allows me to pay it!
  • KatieRuns1983
    KatieRuns1983 Posts: 10 Member
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    I think the guy should pay on the first date but if there are follow up dates you should take turns
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
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    My now-husband wouldn't let me pay on the first date. After the first date, I'd try hard to beat him to the check, which rarely worked. As we got more serious, I insisted on at least splitting, or we'd alternate who would pay/leave the tip.

    As for the first date, as a general rule-- I would say whomever asked the other out should technically pay.
  • Hootowlhollow
    Hootowlhollow Posts: 30
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    Guys should always pay for the first date and every one there after. And open doors too.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Rightttt but we all know most guys dont want the girl who has to ask for dates. Unless you were friends prior, any girl asking total strangers out on dates looks totally desperate. Sorry to break it to everyone. But guys be honest here, would you be going after the woman that no one else even wants to ask out?

    Are you kidding me? I've asked guys out plenty of times and never been turned down. Did it all the time in college, and not just to guys I already knew. I think men find it attractive when a woman goes after what she wants. Has nothing to do with being desperate, if men can play the field and go on dates with several different women before deciding to get serious with one, why can't women do the same? I seriously lived like a man in college...
    if you enjoy pretending to be a man then more power to you. Dont complain when men dont respect and treat you like a lady though.

    And duh of course they're not gonna turn you down. They probably think its a free ticket to your drawers lol.

    Another thing I wanna add is a man paying applies to potential relationshio dates. If you want a booty call, then it doesnt even matter

    You really need to broaden your horizons here. We, women, are the one who asked to be treated as equals, but it's apparently wrong for me to conduct myself as....an equal?

    I never had to sleep with a guy to get him to like me. A man likes a woman who is sure of herself and confident to go after what she wants. I've never been treated poorly by any man I've ever asked out. The only men who've treated me like crap have been ones who've wined and dined me all old-fashioned style. I'm not saying that's the way things are, that's just my personal experience.

    I asked men out to get to know them and maybe one day have a relationship with them. What's wrong with playing the field a little and seeing what's out there before just sticking with one person?
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Wow...just wow.

    So if a random girl is hitting on you at a bar or college party, you honestly think she wants a future relationship?

    I'm not saying its bad to go out and hook up, but dont pretend like its something its not.
  • antonio823
    antonio823 Posts: 298 Member
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    Unless your friendship is platonic If he asked you out on a date he should have paid...
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    I get asked on a lot of dates and I only go on the ones with the guys that I really like. To me it honestly just seem like its a numbers game to guys. If they ask out a bunch of girls eventually one will say yes.

    Of course it is a numbers game.

    What else do you expect them to do? Sit at home, crying, hoping that women will ask him out?
    More women should ask men out. I actually invited my bf out for the first time (it was a group happy hour), and he beat me to the first-date asking out--kinda caught me off guard! I was going to ask him to go to dinner with me and before I could even get the sentence out he asked me out first. I just think if you're interested, do something about it.

    AGREED :)

    Rightttt but we all know most guys dont want the girl who has to ask for dates. Unless you were friends prior, any girl asking total strangers out on dates looks totally desperate. Sorry to break it to everyone. But guys be honest here, would you be going after the woman that no one else even wants to ask out?


    Or how about being the guy that made her break her rule about never asking anyone out.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    You damn right he should pay. He should pay every single time they go out...until they have established a relationship. At that point, it should be alternated regularly, but still not a necessity.

    I will NEVER let a woman pay on the first 3-4 dates. That's just wrong.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Rightttt but we all know most guys dont want the girl who has to ask for dates. Unless you were friends prior, any girl asking total strangers out on dates looks totally desperate. Sorry to break it to everyone. But guys be honest here, would you be going after the woman that no one else even wants to ask out?

    Are you kidding me? I've asked guys out plenty of times and never been turned down. Did it all the time in college, and not just to guys I already knew. I think men find it attractive when a woman goes after what she wants. Has nothing to do with being desperate, if men can play the field and go on dates with several different women before deciding to get serious with one, why can't women do the same? I seriously lived like a man in college...
    if you enjoy pretending to be a man then more power to you. Dont complain when men dont respect and treat you like a lady though.

    And duh of course they're not gonna turn you down. They probably think its a free ticket to your drawers lol.

    Another thing I wanna add is a man paying applies to potential relationshio dates. If you want a booty call, then it doesnt even matter

    I make it known after a few dates what my expectations are... I want to do things for you because I want to, not because I have to. If it's expected, you're gone. I'll always pay for the first date. I asked her out, its only fair.

    It's pretty easy to spot the take care of my types, usually little to no money, attractive to where they get enough attention to get away with it, just looking for someone to support them financially at the end of the day. The ones with the good careers don't get their panties in a wad spending 10 dollars on drinks after I spent 100 on dinner.

    I'm not going to "pay" to have the privledge to hang out with a woman.
  • dancefloordevil
    dancefloordevil Posts: 106 Member
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    Damn Straight he should :)

    I am always prepared to pay but if he is any kind of a gentleman it wouldn't even be up for discussion

    For me....It kind of seperates the boys from the men
  • Annette_rose
    Annette_rose Posts: 427 Member
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    A guy should ALWAYS pay on the first couple/few dates. It's nice and appreciated when a woman offers to help out, but the guy should simply pick up the tab himself. If it was just a casual lunch and she offers to get the tip, I think the guy should agree.

    I agree with this ^^^
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    I'm old fashioned, too. First three dates, you pay for nothing... but don't be a big spender. Nobody has money these days, so order water and skip dessert, and don't be afraid to suggest a great neighborhood place that doesn't cost much, or just coffee.

    After you've been together a while, you can relax... he definitely doesn't need to pay all of the time.

    Also, the etiquette used to be that the man is paying, so he orders first... and his order lets you know the right price range for your order. I don't know if people still follow this, but I do. :)

    Edit: if you do the asking, my guess is the expectations would be different.

    This is what I did.. sort of.. and I still do it (even though we are married)... I always ask "what are you getting?" so I don't go over in price of what he is ordering....
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.

    I haven't read through to the end of this 14 page novella, but let me jump in here and say....

    Oh no he di'n't!

    I can see the argument about paying, (and it's one where people frequently run through a door past a bunch of terrified angels huddled outside the room), but there is zero argument for that kind of behavior.

    Okay, resume arguing on the internet.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Wow...just wow.

    So if a random girl is hitting on you at a bar or college party, you honestly think she wants a future relationship?

    I'm not saying its bad to go out and hook up, but dont pretend like its something its not.

    Do you think that's the only place people go to meet other single people? I asked out a guy I met at a coffee shop late at night doing homework once when I was 20.

    Also, perfectly respectable people go to bars and parties. So you're saying if I found somebody attractive at a party and I asked for his phone number, there's no possible way it could be because I'd like to see him again and get to know him?
  • sunnyday789
    sunnyday789 Posts: 309 Member
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    Wow...just wow.

    So if a random girl is hitting on you at a bar or college party, you honestly think she wants a future relationship?

    I'm not saying its bad to go out and hook up, but dont pretend like its something its not.

    What has that got to do with who pays?
  • grinditout44
    grinditout44 Posts: 43
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    Absolutely. There's no excuse for him not to and you shouldn't give it another thought. He should open doors for you too. And he should be wearing a collar. The depths that men in general have allowed themselves to sink in relation to their engagement with women is inexcusable in my opinion. I'm calling for more suits and better manners.

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