The most annoying 'compliment'?
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Good topic, I have a few of these. . . When I lost a bunch of weight before it drove me nuts when people would tell me I lost weight, not compliment me or ask if I have they would just say "hey you've lost weight" like it happened behind my back when I wasn't looking, I never know what to say back. Also when people start telling you where they can see it and analysing your body like, "hey you've lost weight haven't you, you can really see it in your face," etc. These are usually the same people who chow down fried noodles for lunch and like to tell me what the best diet plans are. The absolute worst, and I know it is meant to be nice, but when someone says "hey you've lost weight, you look good," like I just looked awful before. That one always makes me chuckle.
I would go with..."holy ****, When did that happen, I didn't notice...guess i better go find it!" or if they are fat/fatter "And I see you were nice enough to find it for me!"0 -
I've lost 49 pounds, which is almost halfway to my goal of 110 total lost. People keep telling me things like, "Oh, no...you can't possibly lose another 61 pounds. That's too thin." Really?? Tell that to every BMI and healthy weight chart around. Sometime before I shuffle off this mortal coil, I WILL be within my healthy weight range. Mark my words...too thin be damned.
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you have such a pretty face!
This the absolute worst ever. It isn't a compliment at all, and the few times I've been on the receiving end, it was coming from insecure women who wanted me to know that despite my confidence, I was still somehow beneath them.
"I think what you meant to say was I'M PRETTY. Yes, I know, thank you."0 -
mine was "you dont look too bad considering youve had a child..."
yes...I hear "you can hardly tell you had 2 kids" or "you look good for having 2 kids" Or they think that my weight loss is because i have 2 kids....I have gotten these as well
"what did you do, just stop eating?" "you must be starving"---like the only way to lose weight is to stop eating, cause they are to lazy to learn how to eat right, or just plain don't want to do it.
"do you wanna bring all these leftovers (including a whole pie) home to eat later?....No I don't need all that in my house....Well them kids and your husband might want it, just cause you stopped eating don't mean they have to suffer"
or a close second.....
"buy them kids some icecream (or enter whatever other junk food you can think of), just cause you are on a diet does not mean they are!" I AM NOT ON A DIET! I JUST STOPPED EATING SO MUCH **** AND STARTED EATING LIKE WE WERE MADE TO EAT. healthier and smaller portions.
"you really need to stop losing weight, you look great now but you will look bad if you don't stop"----no, it will just make your fat *kitten* feel even worse when I look that much better! 163 lbs is not underweight and my goal of 150 is not anorexic or unhealthy!! I have flab I wanna lose and I will not look bad if I do.
oh my...i could go on and on...I have heard a lot of the ones already posted to.0 -
This thread is... frustrating/confusing. You say, "you're looking great!" to someone and they get offended, thinking that you didn't think they looked great before. well, sorry to be blunt, but did YOU think you looked the best you could before? surely it's part of the reason you decided to lose the weight? Or you say "hey, did you lose weight?", wanting to acknowledge their success, and they get annoyed and think to themselves something sarcastic like "naaaaaaaaah, guess it just decided to up and leave!?" BUT, if you take what has evidently become the safest route and say nothing - don't compliment them/acknowledge their weightloss at all - they get angry and discouraged that nobody's said anything. i've literally seen a forum topic where the OP was asking "when are people gonna start noticing!"
why can't people start taking compliments for their face value, there's almost never any secret malice behind it. stop analysing them to death. each person reacts to compliments differently and it's a sensitive subject so cut the complimenter some slack.
The only "compliments" I have ever been offended by were backhanded in the first place, or part of a larger issue (when I lost a lot of weight several years ago my mother started harrassing me on a very regular basis telling me I "better not lose anymore" ... that wasn't a compliment, it was discouraging and annoying and just made me feel like I couldn't win no matter what I did). Most comments people have made regarding my weight loss have been appreciated and ego-boosting. One woman asked where the rest of me had gone... which I thought was hilarious. I was also happy to tell her exactly where it had gone. Don't stop complimenting people (unless you can't seem to keep your foot out of your mouth, I guess?). I usually just go with "you look great!" and if someone wants to infer some meaning that is not there, he or she has bigger issues than my compliment, anyway.
"You have such a pretty face" is just something no one should say (especially if it follows a "but"). The implicit meaning there is "but there is really something wrong with the rest of you". Or it's as if you were thinking "boy, it's too bad you're fat/old/wrinkly/etc" and decided to make the next part audible "but you have such a pretty face!"0 -
"You need some meat on your bones."
"Go eat a cheeseburger."
"Would you like some cake? Oh, wait your trying to be good"
"Do you eat?"
BUT MY FAVORITE EVER....is when I will occasionally eat some ice cream or a cookie and my friend will be like omg your eating THAT? I respond...yeah no food is off limits I just don't eat it all the time. I can treat myself every once in a while. Or once when she wanted to go to panera for lunch and I wasn't too hungry so i said i would just go sit with her and I ended up ordering a small bowl of vegetable soup for a snack. She literally said, "So you caved huh? You had to get something." ...um no I just decided I was a little hungry....its like she wants me to eat horribly...probably because she feels bad about herself and always complains about her thighs even though she isn't close to over weight. I hate how everyone thinks a diet = starving yourself and refusing to eat normal food.0 -
Have you had gastric bypass is my favorite0
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While I agree that some compliments can be barbs coated in sugar or just rude statements (i.e - "you have such a pretty face," "you're wasting away," wow, you're like skin and bones now," etc), statements like -
"Hey, you lost weight"
"Wow, you've lost quite a bit of weight"
"Your face looks slimmer"
or comments of that sort, for me personally, is exactly what it is - a compliment w/ no hidden agenda....It's usually said because they notice the difference as opposed to how it was before.....if there was no difference, there wouldn't be any comment on it....And comments on losing weight or face getting slimmer is always a compliment because then, you know you're doing something right and your progress is starting to show.....so take it as it is -- as a compliment and......thats it!!!
No over-analyzing or assumptions needed.....but then again, its how WE take things....0 -
"you know you'd really look better if you lost another 30 pounds" THANKS GRANDMA0
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mine has to be my mum, "gosh you are really doing well losing weight............ do want some cake with your coffee............ can i get you a biscuit.............. here have a chocolate :S x0
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Maybe next time we should act shocked.
HAHAHA!! I lost weight?!?!?! Where??? Can you help me find it?!?!
Oh I am so going to use this one.0 -
This was seriously said to me by a gym employee.
Front counter clerk sees me after not having seen me in about 30lbs loss. Wow, you look so skinny! Next time I see you, you'll be anorexic!
*screeches to halt...* Wait what?
Seriously...0 -
Left as a reply to a cousin who had posted a status update on FB saying that she had lost 30lbs
"Well done but why are you trying to lose so much weight when you're already married?"
I'm not sure if the implication was 'women usually diet so they look at their best for their wedding day' or 'Women only lose weight to attract men'0 -
"Your not fat! You dont need to loose weight! Im fat and NEED to loose weight! " Says the person who has no fat on them...
I hate that!!!0 -
I work weekends and for at least the last month every weekend I go in - anything between 4 or about a dozen people say "wow you look great", "what a difference you look great", "I can see it in your face" "how did you do it." I know my face is much slimmer I can see the difference now - I still get a shock when i look down in the shower and my legs are slimmer than I expect to see them - so I guess it is natural that people want to say something - yeah it can be tactless the way some people comment - but it's not meant as an insult, it's just people being pleased for me and wanting to acnowledge it. its not always easy to have the perfect way of saying something complimentary. - and words can be clumsy.0
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My grandpa once told me it was ok to be a little "husky".... sigh.0
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Not really annoying, I find it quite funny actually... one of my friends, every time I start talking about how much I've lost or how much exercise I've done, pats my belly and says "yeah, you have lost weight". I think I'm a pear (I carry most of my weight in my thighs). *facepalm* Well... xD It's a compliment anyway
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(I've lost 2 pounds this week) ~ Oh dear, do you want me to lend to you some? (Someone will get out wallet and give me money)
Ok this literally made me lol!
I totally understand how that would be annoying though!0 -
mine has to be my mum, "gosh you are really doing well losing weight............ do want some cake with your coffee............ can i get you a biscuit.............. here have a chocolate :S x
Sounds like my mom! She brings food over all the time! Fried fish, gumbo, cakes, pies!!! She commented the other day on how fat my dog was getting! Haha!0 -
"Don't you feel better than you did before?"
I absolutely hate this comment. I really didn't feel bad as a fat person but was worried about my future health and ready to like to shop for clothes again.0 -
Have you had gastric bypass is my favorite
I have had this too since it seems that whenever anyone loses a lot of weight this has to be the only solution. I would never ask someone that.0 -
A rumor was started in my apartment that I had AIDS. I found out when a really nice young man asked me who was I doing and he was sorry to hear I was ill. I asked him what was he talking about and then he told me. After that was straightened out, they told me I had cancer, the they being the folks in the building, not a doctor. That was four years ago.
When people find out I workout now they want to know why?0 -
I got the 'You can't loose anymore, you will be too skinny' yesterday. Um, Hello? I'm still considered overwight on my BMI for at least 9 more pounds. Sigh. At least he noticed that I lost weight.0
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I hate hearing "You've lost weight?" No I haven't lost weight but inches. "Oh muscle weighs more that fat." UH NO. It takes up less space.
"You work out how 4 days a week?" Yes, I go 4 days a week and lift heavy and do cardio. "You should do more cardio."
"How much are you lifting?" Depends. I tell them my max on rep stats. "Oh you are going to hurt yourself or look like a man." LOL
"Are you sure you don't have a power gut?" NO, it's not a power gut. I've had to c-sections within 30 months and was so heavy with my first daughter that everything just kinda got stretched out.
I just found it's easier to say yes and thank you and move on because I really don't care what anyone thinks. I'm doing this for ME!0 -
This is actually a rather funny thread to read.
I have only ever had a compliment about lossing weight from my family and only after they saw me NOT looking at a picture from before. I have never had the pretty face compliment 'til last year and that was from my boyfrend, who has the same BMI I do. I have actually had "if only you had a great personality," when I heard it in my teens I read it as "chunky girl with bland personality, you have no redeeming qualities". Needless to say it took a long time to learn that they where an a**hole.0 -
"you're getting too thin, huh? you know that boys don't like skinny boys, right?" oh yeah, thanks
Amen.
I don't get why people think it is ok to say that. It is just like saying, "you know boys dont like fat girls".
You're right, everything i do is to please males. My body only exists for the approval of others. Scoff.
This thread is AWESOME.0 -
I always hated the "don't lose anymore weight, you look great the way you are"0
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"you know you'd really look better if you lost another 30 pounds" THANKS GRANDMA
My family! It is always ^ OR "Ang, you really are gettin skinny you want me to make you something... we got ice cream..."
They are a big traditional italian family that expresses love, boredom, happiness, sadness with eating, and feeding you.0 -
Be glad they aren't just honest.you have such a pretty face!
This. Really? I'm so fat that all you can come up with is you think my face is pretty? Which you probably only said it because you felt you needed to say something and that was the first thing you could come up with. Or "You tan well!" ............... fml
Cut these folks some slack for making the attempt at being kind.
Imagine your mortification if everybody just started saying the truth we all dance around.
OUCH!0 -
That is the worst compliment, I guess people think they are actually giving you a compliment but actually it dosen't feel that way to us... You look great for having five kids... WHATEVER.... That is the one I always get....
So I guess if I didnt have five kids then I would look terrible... Who knows... Lol0
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