The most annoying 'compliment'?

Phrenetic · May 2012

Sometimes, when people say things like, "you don't need to lose anymore", or when they say stuff like, "you're getting so that you're not the biggest person around here anymore" it's taken in such a way that it is more of a backhanded compliment. I'd rather not be compared to anyone else or criticized, even ever so slightly, for something that has taken me a lifetime to achieve. That's just my thoughts on the subject. I'm sure, as with most things, it's all in perception, and more often than not, tone and overall delivery play a critical role in whatever we say to someone else.

The best thing you can do when you encounter a fat person who is less fat now than before? Just says congratulations. Or say keep up the good work. You are doing so well. Something like that. Above all else, be encouraging, and not discouraging in your remarks.

pattimae48 · May 2012

People have told me I have child-bearing hips, which apparently is great for giving birth lol. When they say it they're saying it like it's such a compliment! But when I hear it, all I hear is that my hips are gigantic and that people notice.

Di3012 · May 2012

I just wondered if anybody else had some really annoying 'compliments' that they get from people after some weight loss.

My favourite is 'you're wasting away!' - no. I'm clearly not, am I? I don't know why, but this one really annoys me.

The most annoying one I have had and it drives me insane is when I have reached my goal and at tea-break refuse a cake or bag or crisps or some other such crap snack, only for somebody to pipe up "oh but you don't need to watch your weight!" - I bloody well do, it was NOT watching it that caused me to put weight on and not twig until I was overweight in the first place.

Feed_the_Bears · May 2012

Hopefully they're saying it sarcasitally and you'e not truely wasting away. Take it with a grain of salt, they're just trying to be funny or something. And some people find others' health triumphs intimidating, as if it makes their own short comings more obvious.

Let's just worry about our own goals and measures and give others the benefit of the doubt. We'll all be happier if we try to take the most possitive interpretation.

roxmoar · May 2012

I hate it when my mum says that I'm starving myself when I'm meeting the amount of calories fitness pal tells me to eat.
But mainly what I get is "Your looking so skinny, I bet you can go back to stuffing yourself not"

Liasings · May 2012

I heard the "She's so pretty, too bad she's so fat!" comment. It was uttered by my FIL and repeated to me, God alone knows why, by my MIL. Well, by the day he died, I had gained nearly eighty pounds (his son had gained even more), so I guess I showed him! :embarassed:

As for the well-meaning (we hope) coworker who brings in the pizza and McDonald's, I would say, firmly and calmly,"No, thank you. I am watching what I eat. Also, I don't want you wasting your money." If that failed to get the message across, I would just let it sit there. I do not have the time or patience for passive-aggresive crap.

anku08 · May 2012

mine is when people say "You look so alive... you do'nt need to lose weight" come on i have 2 big bundles on my waist.... i have flabby arms... and the clothes i wear make me look fatty becoz I am.....

other one is "I don.t need a body guard.. i have my friend(pointing me) with her..." and my soul says twist her neck.. :P

n now m trying to loose finding some changes in my body pretty well but people say " I do not think you are doing it correctly.. see you are not losing any weight"
come on people can't you see more tones arms and stomach... my increased stamina.. my vanished double chin is not even visible to them...

People are such a pain in you life when they comment in this way...
if i control my portion so that i do not over eat.. people say you gonna starve...

Instead of such comments they need to be supportive to people who are trying...
Atleast I am trying and adapting healthy lifestyle.. and I am proud of myself..

rahrahrita · May 2012

The most annoying one to me is "You look great! How did you lose so much weight?"

As if it's some sort of secret that consuming less calories makes you lose weight..

pigote · May 2012

Not a compliment but my Mom once introduced me to her friend like this ....this is my Daughter,she didn't used to be this fat :-(

sarahsxt · May 2012

Most annoying comment: "Oh my god I couldn't do it!" with a grimace on their faces.

I just want to say: "It's not even ABOUT you!"

CharisSunny · May 2012

"by the time you're done you're gonna be fighting guys left and right!"

Ummm I'm pretty as hell and I've always had to fight them off :mad: :grumble:

BlondeQtTexas · May 2012

I've had two that stand out.

Preface: Three years ago I gained 40 lbs in 2 months from being on massive steriods from 2 horrible bouts of pneumonia in 6 weeks. It was very hard to get it off. I've lost it 2 times only for it to come back when I have to take steriods again for asthma.

Most hurtful thing I heard about my weight..............My MIL had not seen me since I gained the weight (3 years ago. I was also very self conscious about it too) anyway, we went to visit them for a week. One night after dinner she she came out with dessert. She had enough plates for everyone but me. She said "I would offer you desert ******, but YOU don't need any." I cried later. It really hurt my feelings.

Since I've lost the weight.............last week. The gal who does my nails says "You have a rockin' body......for your age". Why couldn't she leave "the age" part off.

I don't mean to brag, but I have a better body than most 20 year olds and I'm damn proud of it. I worked HARD for it!

EDIT:

Oh yeah, my MIL was out this weekend for my Son's graduation and she made the comment of "if you lose anymore weight you are just going to blow away".

just4u_cara · May 2012

Most annoying comment: "Oh my god I couldn't do it!" with a grimace on their faces.

To some people, I want to reply "nope, apparently you can't do it" and turn my back and walk away.

It's bloody hard work to lose weight, and dammit I am proud of the fact that I can do it, and they can't :blushing:

AlwaysInMotion · May 2012

After I dropped from 260 to 145lb, I admit my skin didn't just snap back as quickly as I hoped. I tried not to advertise this fact so instead wore clothes that covered all my bits, but fit appropriately. I also always try to look professional/well put-together at work… (FYI: eventually the skin did start to catch up with me, but it took some time.)

So a b/witchy coworker comes up to me while I'm talking with some other coworkers - "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight, right?" (Okay, not a compliment, but at least an acknowledgement of sorts. I let it pass with a polite nod.) "So are you gonna get plastic surgery to fix all your loose skin now?" … as she's squeezing my upper arm. (I was so dumbstruck that she would even go there. I literally lost the ability to speak - an insanely rare situation for me - all I could do was turn heels and walk away mid-discussion.)

Second instance was with a handsomer, younger male coworker who was a work-friend of sorts. I noticed he had started being a lot friendlier once I had lost about 70-80 pounds. We're chatting over lunch together and he says "Well, I don't have fat friends…" (jerk alarm starts to go off) and "I definitely wouldn't date a girl over, say, 170 lbs, ever." (Suddenly it dawns on me. Okay, so just recently you became my "friend" after over 3+ years of being work acquaintances? Gee, wow! I must have just dropped below your fat threshold for acceptable friends/girlfriends! What an egotistical pig!) Fast forward 5 years - he has nice baby beer gut and his hair has all but retreated (guessing down his back). Sorry, dude, I don't hang out with/date losers.

Irish_Lanie · May 2012

I would always get "You have lost a TON of weight!!!" really? A ton?? I lost 20 , that's clearly not a ton, lol. And it wasnt like I was super heavy to start with, and it wasnt like I had not seen these people in many months. Strange comments all the time, lol .

Tis life I suppose.

Oliviamarie05 · May 2012

You have such a pretty face!

You don't need to lose anymore weight. (really, I'm 80 f#cking pounds from a really good, healthy weight. Are we talking about the same person?)

Don't lose much more, you'll waste away and look anorexic. (No. I'll look healthy and fit. There is a difference)

super_jade · May 2012

I know its been said before but the "You have such a pretty face!" one.
Its like the only redeeming feature you have going for you is your face. The other 90% of your body is still crap.
My friend says this all the time and i literally want to slap her, Or say something like "But you have such nice toes!"

obeserat · May 2012

You've lost so much weight, its not healthy to lose it so quickly (23lb since March) .I usually think to myself weighing 327lb is a lot more unhealthy than losing weight supposedly at too rapid a pace

KourtneyP83 · May 2012

"Skinny Mini" I hate when people say that to me. First of all while I have lost a significant amount of weight, I am not skinny and won't be for many more pounds. Also "Are you still losing weight???" Well Yes I am trying but I've been on a plateau for 3 months and feel like crap about myself but thanks for asking! And finally, "If you lose anymore weight you are gonna disappear!" You do know I'm still 200+lbs right?

I wonder if people realize that they are still messing with our self esteems by "complimenting" us?

lilRicki · May 2012

My boyfriend asked me about a month ago if I was still losing weight. I confirmed it and he said "You're looking great by the way. Not that you didn't look great before. You were sexy before. And sexier now... I'll shut up now." I just laughed. It didn't bother me and he rarely has to put his foot in his mouth that I liked seeing him squirm a little.

I weigh more than I did when we met, but my boyfriend has always said that I am beautiful and he loves my body. I think he will love it still when it's smaller too.

that's mine too! he said he notices the subtle differences in my body, and that he really loves my *kitten* (the worst part of my body)...i love the fact that I have a man that makes me feel sexy no matter my body shape.

froeschli · May 2012

Well, the "i can really see it in your face" - comment could just be used to keep the conversation in polite range, ever thought about that? I mean, seriously, unless it's my bff, i would refrain from mentioning i pay attention to other people's body parts below their shoulders...
maybe i am just stuck up...
oh, and if i told my sister that i think she used to have big thighs, she'd snap me in two!

People keep telling me i don't need to lose weight. I think that's actually the worst. Ok, now that I have arrived at the top end of the healthy spectrum, i know I don't NEED to, but I'd feel better if i did. Respect that. There's a good 30LB margin of healthy weight, bug me when I get to the bottom end of that...

Starrynights1107 · May 2012

Well, in this case it wasn't really the compliment itself I guess. My aunt noticed that I'd lost some weight and "complimented" me but later shared her real opinion (not to my face) which is that yes, I lost weight BUT it's due to the fact that I am gay and gay people always just start to "waste away" :l. Not sure where she got the logic behind that one but I still think it's hilarious.

WifeNMama · May 2012

The most annoying compliment is the one not expressed at an appropriate time.

nell1972 · May 2012

One ex-boyfriend said - after I lost 40 lb through phobic anxiety about 15 yrs ago - that it was like "sh*gging a new bird". Nice.

Throughout my yo-yo years I've had all the usual about wasting away, not needing to lose weight, not needing to lose any more etc etc, even when my BMI is still way high. And the "You're looking really well" comment grinds my gears a bit as its a polite way of saying you look like a fattened goose.

I think what bothers me most, though, is the blatant insincerity of some remarks. The lady who does my nails (who is a UK size 10 with implants and would look great in a bin liner) often looks me up and down appraisingly and says, "You really look like you've lost weight!!" when I've actually put on a good few lbs since I last saw her. She then goes on to pinch a mm of skin on her ribs and complains she's getting fat, and she only ate 3 cals yesterday to try and lose some weight. Yawn.

One more....my boss, who is a semi pro tennis player and pretty fit, tells me off for making self-deprecating jokes about my weight, always rounding up with "You're not fat!" Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for this backhanded compliment, but it simply isn't true. My BMI is 34, so I'm in fact obese and a UK size 16-18.

If I'm not fat, someone's playing a massive f***ing prank on me. :sad:

rainydaze613 · May 2012

A "friend" of mine would always grab my legs and say things like how tiny they were, just because she saw me choosing healthier food options and I mentioned I was trying to eat healthier. It was obvious she was lying because at that point, I hadn't lost any weight at all. And to add to the irony, she looks thinner than me because she carries her weight better. On top of that, she used to bring me chocolates and stuff when she KNEW I was trying to watch what I ate, and would say things like "here- have the whole box. Seriously. These are sooo good. You're so skinny already. Just eat it. Eat the whole box." She said it in a joking way, but like, seriously? It's almost like she wished I would fail. I wish she would have supported me instead of being so... subconsciously against it.
Edit: I guess this wouldn't really be considered a "compliment"? I dunno. Just an annoyance I had to vent about xP

parys1 · May 2012

The one not spoken.

itgeekwoman · May 2012

My boss looked at my "Before" picture and then at me just recently and said.. "You were HUMONGOUS". It was rather funny at the time, but he's embarrassed by his reaction. He was right, but it still hurt a teeny tiny bit..

chelsa1986 · May 2012

A bouncer looked at my id (100 lbs heavier in the pic) and said, "wow, that's bad. I wouldn't have even talked to you back then." That hurt. So I said, "That's funny, because I don't really feel like talking to you now!"