Highest weight how you felt

cdc33

285 ish was my max -- I'm hovering 236-238 now... I'm 5'9". I"m aiming for 150-170 with some sculpture. At my max and now... I am embarrassed, refuse to look in the mirror and thought my lounge pants and way over-sized shirt were hiding it well enough... until some guy asked me if it was okay to smoke in front of me (he thought I was PREGNANT!!)... the shame... I was mortified! What's worse - when I was actually pregnant I didn't look like that, I weighed 165 lbs the day my son was born. I tend to be the photographer instead of IN the photos... because photos are just like kicking me in the gut with all of the excuses I've made for the past 3 years to allow myself to get to this point. I have uploaded some for posterity here yesterday to show before weight loss (a year old, I've been successful at hiding from the camera for the past year) and what I'd like to look like again, where I was 3 years ago when my son was born.

Ive got about the same amount of weight to lose maybe a bit more but you are doing great!!! I am a hider in pictures I hide behind people well actually I shove them in front of meLOL you will most likely get a head shot. I do hope the one day I will feel good enough to have a body shot. all the best to you in your weight loss:happy:

Shawn8216

Right now >> I feel horrible, sad/depressed/ a failure because I'm at my highest weight which ISN'T that high to others, but for my body frame, it just doesnt look great esp since its in the tummy area ya know?!

I'm hoping once I drop the extra pds, I'll be back to feeling a LOT more confident and comfortable with my body

Its all in how you feel about your body not in what other think you should be. they may say you look great and you probably do but its all in how you feel in your body that matters, Cheers friend

Thanks sweetie That's EXACTLY how I feel - everyone says I look great and okay, I dont look horrible and its NOT a major difference that people may notice BUT I notice bc I put my clothes on and feel them tighter and thats just isn't cool ahha SOO only 11 pounds to get to 112-115pds for my goal weight and away from my current weight of 123-126 at 5'2 1/2 !

I GOT THIS!! with the help of you lovely MFPs :flowerforyou:

myfitnessval

I'm at the highest i've ever been (around 205) and I can say that up until I started working out a couple weeks ago I felt terrible. Ashamed. Depressed. Hopeless. Hated myself. I felt out of control. I felt disgusting, hideous, ugly. You name it. The worst feeling though was looking in the mirror and not feeling like myself.

Now that I'm working out I feel a lot less of all those things mostly because I know I've made a change to fix all that to get MYSELF back.

LovingLisa2012

here is the thing, that I am sure will sound odd ...

I feel like I am wearing a fat suit .. as if I can feel my true body under this and its just sitting there (been that way for several years now) .. this of course is probaly mental and to me its funny

but when I look at my stomach I hate it .. it protrudes out and makes me look like a big fat pregnant lady (highest 312, current 289)
when I was 190s I still have the pregnant look

my knees hurt all the time .. and when going on rides (theme park) or seats at a restruant, I have to make sure I can fit.. not fun at all

GelinaKnows

Highest I've ever been besides pregnancy (my daughters are 9 & 10) was LAST MONTH!!! THAT'S why I'm here! It IS only 150, but I delivered a daughter near that weight! I just want my body back...I was robbed & beaten in the beginning of Feb, & with broken ribs amongst other things, I couldn't hardly walk let alone exercise, & weight piled on suddenly...besides about 10-15 that had creeped on over the past cpl years...time to not only get it OFF, but I used to eat just HORRIBLY! I'd go weeks at a time eating nothing but Graham crackers & drink Mountain dew. Literally. That's IT. Not even WATER. I have done a 180 from that! I'm only down 6 lbs, but I KNOW how great I'll feel when I get to my goal, because I've been there before, & I LOVED it!

cdc33

At 5', 5" my highest weight was 220. I found out when going to a physical after having not been on a scale in two years. I always assumed I was around 200 - I learned I was that heavy when trying out Wii Fit in front of my roommates. It was mortifying, and yet I ignored it, telling myself I didn't look that bad. But at 220 something just snapped. I remembered all the TV shows featuring people that were so large they couldn't walk a parking lot, and they all always said the same thing, "It creeps up on you. You get used to one weight and justify it, and then gain more and more." And I realized I was doing the same thing.

I've always been on the heavier side. I did ballet as a girl, and at the first studio I had lessons at for five years I didn't have a single friend. All of the other girls were so much smaller than me. My mom made me wear a shape control thing under my costumes and for special occasions, which didn't affect me much then but looking back makes me feel she was ashamed of me for not being pretty like the other girls.

I was teased all the time in school - mostly elementary and middle school. I had long, beautiful hair, and I loved to draw and I was smart - and people commented on those things too. But at the end of the day none of it seemed to matter because I was fat - ugly - and certain other kids never let me forget it. In high school I didn't date. I wanted to very badly, but even on the occasion a guy would ask me out, I always thought he must be desperate to ask me, or maybe lost a bet. And I didn't want to be the butt of a joke, so I would decline. That's how low my self-esteem was. I didn't care what I wore, or how I looked. I didn't really get picked on much in high school, but after going through it for so long, the mind set that I wasn't as good as thin people was already hammered in.

I hated shopping for clothes because nothing I liked ever fit.

I lied about my weight on my driver's license, because I was so embarrassed to admit the truth.

I hated every single picture of myself. I don't have many photos of me in college because of this.

Every time I walked in a room, I looked around to see if I was the heaviest person there. I hated myself when it was the case.

I could be funny, so I clung to that, because people liked me better. The flip side of that is I don't know how to express serious emotions, not really. I can't be vulnerable, because I don't feel like I'm worthy of those emotions.

But! This story has a happy ending! Or at least, I'm working towards that. I've lost almost 30 pounds and yes - getting that first digit in your weight to be a 1 is a great feeling! I'm about half way to where I want to be, and I'm so excited. Already my old clothes that I had stashed away over the years for no longer fitting - fit! It's like getting a whole new wardrobe. I feel powerful and strong after a good work out, and every day I love the changes I see in the mirror. I love love love fashion and new clothes. Yes, I still feel self-conscious often, especially when looking through racks of more trendy places while all the 6s and 4s flit around, because I am still not skinny. But that's just another battle I'll have to fight. It helps to remember that they might have had to fight for their size too. And even if not, that they probably also have insecurities, so it's unfair to just think 'oh, well, they're thin, so they have no idea'. I learned that in college hanging out with my thinner friends - the sort of things they worried about with their own appearance, when I had always assumed that after you were at a certain pants size your body image issues would only be petty things. The truth is you never know.

A huge congrats to everyone losing and lost all that baggage, no matter where you start or what your goal is. It takes hard work, and so long as we stick to it we WILL all see our goals reached someday!

OMGoodness Im not the only one who has lied on my driver licence and Ive done most of all the other things you listed. Your not alone in this one day at a time and we will succeed!!

mznisaelaine

My heaviest weight was 194.5 ( I am 5'9). I felt definitely very insecure and self-conscious. I went from 130-135 to 194.5 so quickly the doctor was very concerned about me. I was completely miserable. Now I am down at low 170s working towards 140 by the end of the year.

cdc33

Highest I've ever been besides pregnancy (my daughters are 9 & 10) was LAST MONTH!!! THAT'S why I'm here! It IS only 150, but I delivered a daughter near that weight! I just want my body back...I was robbed & beaten in the beginning of Feb, & with broken ribs amongst other things, I couldn't hardly walk let alone exercise, & weight piled on suddenly...besides about 10-15 that had creeped on over the past cpl years...time to not only get it OFF, but I used to eat just HORRIBLY! I'd go weeks at a time eating nothing but Graham crackers & drink Mountain dew. Literally. That's IT. Not even WATER. I have done a 180 from that! I'm only down 6 lbs, but I KNOW how great I'll feel when I get to my goal, because I've been there before, & I LOVED it!

6lbs is a fantastic start and you seem very motivated!!! day by day and we will all get to our goal, cheer to you:drinker:

cdc33

My heaviest weight was 194.5 ( I am 5'9). I felt definitely very insecure and self-conscious. I went from 130-135 to 194.5 so quickly the doctor was very concerned about me. I was completely miserable. Now I am down at low 170s working towards 140 by the end of the year.

you seem very determined and look how well you have done good on you girl!! How to you feel now that you have lost what you have?

cdc33

here is the thing, that I am sure will sound odd ...

I feel like I am wearing a fat suit .. as if I can feel my true body under this and its just sitting there (been that way for several years now) .. this of course is probaly mental and to me its funny

but when I look at my stomach I hate it .. it protrudes out and makes me look like a big fat pregnant lady (highest 312, current 289)
when I was 190s I still have the pregnant look

my knees hurt all the time .. and when going on rides (theme park) or seats at a restruant, I have to make sure I can fit.. not fun at all

I know what you mean I cant wait to match the inside with the out to feel like a whole person. To be the real me that I see.

cdc33

:happy:

I'm at the highest i've ever been (around 205) and I can say that up until I started working out a couple weeks ago I felt terrible. Ashamed. Depressed. Hopeless. Hated myself. I felt out of control. I felt disgusting, hideous, ugly. You name it. The worst feeling though was looking in the mirror and not feeling like myself.

Now that I'm working out I feel a lot less of all those things mostly because I know I've made a change to fix all that to get MYSELF back.

Great job taking you back!!! keep up the great job we will get there one day at a time:happy:

_Refried_

My highest weight was ~415 or so, not sure the actual as my scales didnt go that high. I felt really HEAVY!

cdc33

130 lbs on 5'3".

I felt horrible, and constantly said horrible things about myself.

I'm so grateful to this site because I'm actually finding things I not only like, but love, about myself.

your very close to your goal, great job!!

hbm616

The highest number I ever saw on the scale was 299 lbs. I felt sluggish, I had poorly controlled asthma and I was scared of becoming diabetic. When my doctor test my A1C at only 16 years old I knew that I had to change. Its been a long road (I'm almost 23 now) but I'm down over 100 lbs and I'm in better physical condition than I ever thought was possible.

cdc33

My highest weight was ~415 or so, not sure the actual as my scales didnt go that high. I felt really HEAVY!

where are you now in your weight loss journey and how do you feel now?

bellygoaway

I was 390 or so. I felt fat.

cdc33

:happy:

The highest number I ever saw on the scale was 299 lbs. I felt sluggish, I had poorly controlled asthma and I was scared of becoming diabetic. When my doctor test my A1C at only 16 years old I knew that I had to change. Its been a long road (I'm almost 23 now) but I'm down over 100 lbs and I'm in better physical condition than I ever thought was possible.

Wow I hope to be where you are in the near future you have done a great job way to go for putting you first:happy:

cdc33

I was 390 or so. I felt fat.

how do you feel now with the weight you have lost?

crazy8ts

276 - knees hurt... wheezing walking up steps... couldn't stand to catch a glimpse of myself in a window...

Still got a way to go...

cdc33

276 - knees hurt... wheezing walking up steps... couldn't stand to catch a glimpse of myself in a window...

Still got a way to go...

do you notice a difference withthe weight that you have lost? I still hate catching a glimpse of myself it funny everytime Im surprised LOL

Flugangst

230 at heaviest. I felt pretty bad.

I am down to 140-145. I'm still unsatisfied, to be honest. I don't think I'll ever be100 percent happy, to tell you the truth. But then again, who knows! As of right now, I just constantly nit pick about my body. I have a few problem areas, but perhaps within the next few months I'll begin to appreciate my body a little bit more. Over all, I am Healthy, and to me, that is and always has been the most crucial part of my weight loss journey.

froggadelic

My highest weight was 310 and I felt like a cow. A giant, stretch-marked, fat cow. I was so ashamed of myself that I had gotten that big and embarrassed to be walking around with the gut protruding through my shirt. I had no self esteem. I started using MFP when I had started losing weight little by little and was around 284, and it was MFP that helped me get this far. I am now 275 and counting, and it took losing 35 pounds to get some self-esteem back. My target weight for someone of my height and build (I'm 5'9" and big-boned) is to be between 160 and 180 so I have a ways to go. It's rough.

crazy8ts

276 - knees hurt... wheezing walking up steps... couldn't stand to catch a glimpse of myself in a window...

Still got a way to go...

do you notice a difference withthe weight that you have lost? I still hate catching a glimpse of myself it funny everytime Im surprised LOL

Indeed! Now, I find myself bouncing on my toes when I'm feeling stiff or tired... I'm ready to do some push ups to relieve some stress and only notice my knees when I'm sitting at a theater (i'm 6'2... and clearly most theaters were not built for someone my height, as my knees are usually jammed into the chair in front of me).

I'm still a little sensitive to the sight of myself... unless my arms look particularly pumped that day! LOL!

cdc33

230 at heaviest. I felt pretty bad.

I am down to 140-145. I'm still unsatisfied, to be honest. I don't think I'll ever be100 percent happy, to tell you the truth. But then again, who knows! As of right now, I just constantly nit pick about my body. I have a few problem areas, but perhaps within the next few months I'll begin to appreciate my body a little bit more. Over all, I am Healthy, and to me, that is and always has been the most crucial part of my weight loss journey.

I sure it takes time for oour mind to cathc up with the body, being health is the main goal and you have done an outsanding job with the weight loss congrats!!

cdc33

My highest weight was 310 and I felt like a cow. A giant, stretch-marked, fat cow. I was so ashamed of myself that I had gotten that big and embarrassed to be walking around with the gut protruding through my shirt. I had no self esteem. I started using MFP when I had started losing weight little by little and was around 284, and it was MFP that helped me get this far. I am now 275 and counting, and it took losing 35 pounds to get some self-esteem back. My target weight for someone of my height and build (I'm 5'9" and big-boned) is to be between 160 and 180 so I have a ways to go. It's rough.

It seems we are on a similar journey Im right about the same place. I want to get to the same 160 -180 feel free to add me as a friend

Flugangst

Thank you. And to you as well.

newfienurse66

Highest weight 285, had to buy a dress for a formal military event, I cried in the dressing room and was so thankful the event was canceled, today 60 pounds gone, another formal military event sent me shopping, this time I twirled in the dress like a little girl! Can't wait to wear it!

SPNLuver83

My highest was 190 and I felt disgusting, gross, embarrassed.... My stomach always hurt, I always felt sick.. just terrible.

DeckerDoll

Pros: My boobs were the biggest they have ever or will ever be.
Cons: So was everything else.

nichalsont

Until I crossed the 190 threshold, I was in denial. Once I hit that, I realized my sluggishness and exhaustion were most likely coming from my poor physical condition. Also, I had to go up a size in clothes. I am tall and work in a professional environment. Clothes for work are not cheap. Shopping for fat clothes depressed me.

I haven't lost much yet, but replacing junk with fresh fruits and veggies and keeping calories in check has made me feel much better. I guess I needed a good detox.