Highest weight how you felt

karawilliamson

I loved taking pictures of myself and looking beautiful, dressing up and going out with friend when I was at a smaller weight....
When I gained all the weight, I didnt care about myself, I rarely took photos, and when I was in a photo I wanted to puke. I guess my brain still thought I was skinny, until I looked at a photo. I hardly went out and never dressed up. All my clothes are in boxes...I take one out and try it on hoping I can fit into again oneday.

This is exactly how I feel. I am not happy about it. I am lethargic and depressed. I am currently at my highest weight ever- 166 pounds (I'm 5'6). I joined MFP today in hopes of taking back control. My goal weight is 138 pounds...what I weighed when I graduated from high school (10 years ago).

speediejane

Disgusting, fat, ugly, ashamed, tired ..

nessa786

My highest was 335. That was a month ago. I was doing really good on here then quit for 3 weeks and gained 15 lbs. When I stepped on the scale and seen those numbers, I wanted to cry. So I had to get back on the wagon. Today I weighed in at 324.6. I know that is only 10 lbs, but slow and steady wins the race! (but i do wish i could lose faster lol)

pants77

Maximum density for me was about 350 (I'm 6 feet tall fyi). I don't know for sure because none of my scales went up that high...

I felt like I was wearing a deep sea diving suit out of water.
I'd get home from my very sedentary desk job and have to take a nap just because I'd been awake for 10 hours.
I wore the biggest clothes I could find because I thought it "hid" the fat better.
I researched car seat hip room when I was car shopping because it was the first thing I had to take into consideration.

I'm around 235 now and that feels way better than 350. I still have work to do but I can do normal everyday things and not get all sweaty or rundown now. Part of it is the physical presence of the weight dragging you down, and part of it is the effect of the horrible stuff you eat that makes you get to that weight in the first place. I usually feel good now - I only feel like crap after I eat crappy food. I never made this connection before because I always felt like crap.

Namaste1983

AT 430 POUNDS I HID BEHIND PEOPLE IN PHOTOS AND ONLY USED THE STANDARD ABOVE HEAD PHOTO ANGLE. I WAS IN COMPLETE SIZE DENIAL. I KNEW I WAS BIG. FFS IT TOOK YOGA POSES FOR ME TO WIPE MY A** AND I HAD TO USE THE HANDICAPPED STALL. I COULD BARELY FIT IN MY LITTLE DATSUN TRUCK WITH THE BENCH SEAT AND MY STEERING WHEEL DUG INTO MY BELLY. SO WHILE I WASN'T HAPPY, I ALSO WASN'T REALLY AWARE OF HOW FAT I WAS. MY SCALE STOPPED AT 350 AND I DIDN'T KNOW MY WEIGHT UNTIL I WAS ON THE SURGERY TABLE.

NOW I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.... AND SOMETIMES FATTER THAN I EVER WAS.

psychofantasy

I'm 6'2" and my highest weight was around 350. I. Felt. Awful. Physically, I was tired ALL the time - completely lethargic. I work in retail, and I would come home, sit on the couch, and not be able to get back up for like a half hour or more because of back pain and stiff joints. Right now, I'm still in the low 300s, so I still have some of those problems, but now that I'm eating healthier, I have much more energy.

new318

My highest is 250. I am now at 243.0. I felt fearful. I was honestly waiting for a heart attack, blood clot, diabeticshock, something bad to kick in and happen, but I used that fear to turn it around. I started on Tuesday morning and am down what I think its 7 pounds. Just burn 400 cal a day and stay under cal intake suggestion!

MinnieInMaine

My highest weight was 260. Wish I could say the number on the scale was my wake-up call but it really came down to how I felt about myself. Eventhough I was heavy from the time I was 18 years old until my mid 30's, I still felt confident. I was still cute and people loved me and I had a good life and even met my wonderful hubster. But the bigger I got, the worse I felt about myself - it even got to the point where I tried to think of ways to avoid seeing my own best friends because I was so ashamed.

Mom told me years ago that it's not worth wasting time and energy on something you have no power to change. Good advice! And in this case, the opposite was true. Here I was worrying about soemthing I COULD change and but I was wasting time and energy worrying instead of doing something about it! So November 2009, I pledged that it was time to change - and I've been on my journey ever since.

Cambrendle

285 ish was my max -- I'm hovering 236-238 now... I'm 5'9". I"m aiming for 150-170 with some sculpture. At my max and now... I am embarrassed, refuse to look in the mirror and thought my lounge pants and way over-sized shirt were hiding it well enough... until some guy asked me if it was okay to smoke in front of me (he thought I was PREGNANT!!)... the shame... I was mortified! What's worse - when I was actually pregnant I didn't look like that, I weighed 165 lbs the day my son was born. I tend to be the photographer instead of IN the photos... because photos are just like kicking me in the gut with all of the excuses I've made for the past 3 years to allow myself to get to this point. I have uploaded some for posterity here yesterday to show before weight loss (a year old, I've been successful at hiding from the camera for the past year) and what I'd like to look like again, where I was 3 years ago when my son was born.

ziggyplayedguitar

At 5', 5" my highest weight was 220. I found out when going to a physical after having not been on a scale in two years. I always assumed I was around 200 - I learned I was that heavy when trying out Wii Fit in front of my roommates. It was mortifying, and yet I ignored it, telling myself I didn't look that bad. But at 220 something just snapped. I remembered all the TV shows featuring people that were so large they couldn't walk a parking lot, and they all always said the same thing, "It creeps up on you. You get used to one weight and justify it, and then gain more and more." And I realized I was doing the same thing.

I've always been on the heavier side. I did ballet as a girl, and at the first studio I had lessons at for five years I didn't have a single friend. All of the other girls were so much smaller than me. My mom made me wear a shape control thing under my costumes and for special occasions, which didn't affect me much then but looking back makes me feel she was ashamed of me for not being pretty like the other girls.

I was teased all the time in school - mostly elementary and middle school. I had long, beautiful hair, and I loved to draw and I was smart - and people commented on those things too. But at the end of the day none of it seemed to matter because I was fat - ugly - and certain other kids never let me forget it. In high school I didn't date. I wanted to very badly, but even on the occasion a guy would ask me out, I always thought he must be desperate to ask me, or maybe lost a bet. And I didn't want to be the butt of a joke, so I would decline. That's how low my self-esteem was. I didn't care what I wore, or how I looked. I didn't really get picked on much in high school, but after going through it for so long, the mind set that I wasn't as good as thin people was already hammered in.

I hated shopping for clothes because nothing I liked ever fit.

I lied about my weight on my driver's license, because I was so embarrassed to admit the truth.

I hated every single picture of myself. I don't have many photos of me in college because of this.

Every time I walked in a room, I looked around to see if I was the heaviest person there. I hated myself when it was the case.

I could be funny, so I clung to that, because people liked me better. The flip side of that is I don't know how to express serious emotions, not really. I can't be vulnerable, because I don't feel like I'm worthy of those emotions.

But! This story has a happy ending! Or at least, I'm working towards that. I've lost almost 30 pounds and yes - getting that first digit in your weight to be a 1 is a great feeling! I'm about half way to where I want to be, and I'm so excited. Already my old clothes that I had stashed away over the years for no longer fitting - fit! It's like getting a whole new wardrobe. I feel powerful and strong after a good work out, and every day I love the changes I see in the mirror. I love love love fashion and new clothes. Yes, I still feel self-conscious often, especially when looking through racks of more trendy places while all the 6s and 4s flit around, because I am still not skinny. But that's just another battle I'll have to fight. It helps to remember that they might have had to fight for their size too. And even if not, that they probably also have insecurities, so it's unfair to just think 'oh, well, they're thin, so they have no idea'. I learned that in college hanging out with my thinner friends - the sort of things they worried about with their own appearance, when I had always assumed that after you were at a certain pants size your body image issues would only be petty things. The truth is you never know.

A huge congrats to everyone losing and lost all that baggage, no matter where you start or what your goal is. It takes hard work, and so long as we stick to it we WILL all see our goals reached someday!

cdc33

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Can I just say to the OP, I love how you started this post and now you are responding to everyone, you are a doll!!

THANKS SO MUCH!!!! I think its improtant to chat about these things as it helps keeps us accountable, Cheers!!

cdc33

I didn't really felt that bad but I didn't like the way I looked since I was entering High School. I was as high as 230 lbs and was 5'11" at 14 years old. Now i'm 175 lbs and 6'1" tall at 15 year old and feeling better than ever! i'm in shape.

Great job!!!!!! It will benifit you thru your whole life way to learn this lesson early :bigsmile:

cdc33

Currently.
I want to punch myself.
In the face.
Often.

Well what can I say to that? Im hoping that will change for you as the time goes on, please take care:flowerforyou:

cdc33

blah... No energy... Hard to get around... Walking up stairs was a struggle. This was at 344. Now, at 271, I have more energy and it does not hurt to go up and down stairs any longer. Still a ways to go but I am happy with my progress to date.

Wow you have done frigin fantastic!! I can totally relate to you as I was sore and blah as well and now I feel much better but imagine how good we will feel when we reach our goalS!! Keep up the great work all the best to you

cdc33

:happy:

At 222 lbs. I felt like crap all the time. Just walking to class would make me sweat. In my arms and legs I would have a pulsing pain every once in a while due to very high blood pressure. I hated how I looked and it made me self conscious in public. Every time someone laughed I just knew that they were laughing at me. Overall, it sucked and I am never going back.

You are down 46lbs and that is awesome I bet you feel totally different, how do you feel now?:happy:

cdc33

Disgusting, fat, ugly, ashamed, tired ..

etc.

ETA;

Highest weight was 196lbs.

How do you feel now with the weight you have lost???

EmCarroll1990

130 lbs on 5'3".

I felt horrible, and constantly said horrible things about myself.

I'm so grateful to this site because I'm actually finding things I not only like, but love, about myself.

cdc33

317
I felt like a bratwurst that was about to burst. I think I was sodium-bloated or something, but whatever the case, physically, I was very uncomfortable.

Holy Moly:noway: you are rocking the weight loss good job!!!!! how do you feel now that the weight is gone???

cdc33

my highest weight was 198..i am 5'1'' and i felt fat and insecure, but i just didnt realize HOW bad i was until i started getting healthy and saw old pictures of myself

I know right!! I look at pictures of myself 60lbs heavier and am like wow that is crazy I cant wait till I get to my goal that will be a real shockerLOL your doing fantastci keep it up cheers:drinker:

cdc33

235 at 5' 5"!

Then I proceeded to lose 70 pounds!

70lbs is fabulous!!!! how do you feel now that the weight is gone?

cdc33

i was 252 i felt bad real bad now starting to feel better and better as i lose

That is great!!! can you imagine how good were going to feel when we reach our goal, keep it up! Cheers:happy:

cdc33

Highest weight 180.

I dont even like saying that.

I thought I had issues when I was too "skinny" at my lowest weight during high school and some of university.

I loved taking pictures of myself and looking beautiful, dressing up and going out with friend when I was at a smaller weight....
When I gained all the weight, I didnt care about myself, I rarely took photos, and when I was in a photo I wanted to puke. I guess my brain still thought I was skinny, until I looked at a photo. I hardly went out and never dressed up. All my clothes are in boxes...I take one out and try it on hoping I can fit into again oneday.

I kept my skinny clothes for a long time and one day I tossed them. I though enough torturing myself with lookin backwards time to move forward. I also thought hey if I work that hard I need a new clothes and a new stlye. I did keep one pair of pants just because and I will keep one pair of big pants just to keep in check!!! I hide behind people in photos so its just a head shot LOL you will find your happy medium one day as will I. Cheers

cdc33

I reached 240lbs., I felt like crap and began having health issues.

Its all connected I cant wait to be really healthy, how are things for you now?

cdc33

170 at 5'5....
...I felt gross and unattractive.

However, seeing that number on the scale is what motivated me to kick my own butt and get the body I want (and the confidence I craved!).

How are you feeling how that you have lost some weight?

cdc33

I got up to 250. I didn't know I was that fat. I have always had the fat person insecurities. So it was normal for me to see me to be fat. When I was fat, I didn't know that I was that big. My wife loved me the same, my friends loved me the same, and my family loved me the same. I was only 26 when I was that big, and so no one was lecturing me about health. I don't even think i was teased for being fat by my friends. I knew i needed to lose weight. Girls still found me attractive (grant it, it was bigger girls), I was just as fun and charismatic.

Difference is now I'm more fun and more charismatic. <edit> and I'm 65 pounds lighter

Good for you 65lbs Whoop whoop you rock!!! And I can tell you are very confident now :bigsmile:

cdc33

240something...not sure exactly how high it got
I felt sweaty, ugly, robbed of femininity, and unworthy of love.

I still feel sweaty but I have to work for it. Other than that, I don't feel these things anymore. This girl got her groove back.

Im so happy that you have found you groove girl friend!! Cant wait to find mine

lacroyx

480's never got an exact number. I was constantly tired, out of breath, back hurt all the time. I was also not living. I medicated with videogames.

cdc33

480's never got an exact number. I was constantly tired, out of breath, back hurt all the time. I was also not living. I medicated with videogames.

All I can say is INSPIRING!!!! that weight you have lost is amazing!!! Keep up the fantastic job how do you feel now???

cdc33

At my highest (259) I was sad, depressed, and scared about the direction I was going in. Now I'm 176, and I feel like my life has done a complete turn around! I am more confident and happy. Also, I hate to say this, but it's totally true. I get soooooo much more attention from men now. I wasn't sure how to handle the extra attention, but I'm learning and enjoying it. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and it's like those 82 pounds are still there. I'm not sure my brain will ever catch up to my transformation. It's a learning experience!
Oh I want to add that I still have about 35 more pounds to lose! Some of you might think my current weight is high, and it is! But I think I look pretty darn fantastic. I get compliments from people who don't even know me or knew how I was before, so that has to mean something. I think I just hold my weight really well, and it's in the right spots. I just wanted it to be known that I still consider myself a work in progress and I"m not settling for being overweight. I'm just proud of my accomplishments and of how far I"ve come. 35 pounds doesn't seem like much when compared to 82. :-)

Yay you!!! wow you should be proud and flaunting it!!! I like that you are very grounded!!! keep up the fantastic job!

cdun87

My highest weight is 242...Im very unhappy and depressed about it but I wont let that stay in my way...I never thought I would ever get passed 220 but obviously that can happen and I jsut want everyone to know that you dont have tto stay heavy...You have it in you to change and do something different...the weight didnt come on over night so its going to take alot of effort to get back to where I need to be or at least use too...Goal weight is 180 but I would be ok at 200