Highest weight how you felt

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  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
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    280 was my absolute highest... i was 41 weeks prego at the time so nothing was comfortable


    265 was my long term highest weight and it sucked looking back at it... i just didnt do things cause i felt like people were always watching me... totally vain and self induced but always there... i also felt ashamed of being heavyer the really big guys


    I consider myself the fat friend I dress my friends in the clothes that I would die to wear that so sucks. How are thing for you now?
  • DFWTT
    DFWTT Posts: 374
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    270...Like *kitten*.


    Dont you know it ....there right now!! but moving forward and trying my best how do you feel now ?

    Like awesomeness in a 188lb package.
  • CindiBryce
    CindiBryce Posts: 438
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    I am currently at my highest weight (~120) and I do not feel comfortable with myself, due to the fact that the weight gain was caused by an unhealthy lifestyle. Oftentimes, I feel disgusted with myself.
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
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    My highest weight was 350. I sat down on the toilet and bawled like a baby. Then, two hrs later, I joined MFP. I have lost 8 lbs in 25 days, and have 145 more to go. I will never feel like that again.


    Good for you Im so glad you fould this site it is so encouraging. Great job on the weight loss so far !!! :drinker: Cheers to your journey
  • aquamanda
    aquamanda Posts: 2
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    191 was my highest. I just wanted to hide. I didn't want anyone looking at me. Everyone said I wasn't fat but I felt fat and uncomfortable in clothes. I never felt pretty and i'm still working on it. I'm only 8 lbs. down and it's going really slow but at least it's going
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    when i was 21 i gained 60 lbs in a yr...............i weighed 287 lbs

    i couldn't bend down and tie my shoes without all the blood rushing to my face....sometimes when i would bend over.....i would throw up in my mouth a little

    i couldn't breathe without labouring after walking from one end of my house to the other

    i hurt always
    inside and out:cry:

    i hated myself...avoided mirrors....only wore plain dark clothes with no character
    rarely smiled or laughed
    never looked anyone in the eye

    withdrew from all friendships and social events
    came home and ate til i was sick
    stopped wearing makeup
    cut my hair off like a boys....bc i didn't even feel like a woman anymore

    i was just a fat, androgynous........THING



    i started therapy for depression....and found out depression was the least of my mental issues

    i had some sick skeletons in my closet i was feeding
    my body was always full

    my heart and soul were starving to death:brokenheart:



    during the first 2 years of therapy.....i started recovering my identity....and my beauty

    i lost quite a bit of weight(roughly 30 lbs)


    then i had a relapse:sick: and became just sick of myself...gained some back

    i got angry with myself

    showed myself some tough love
    that yr i lost 87 lbs in 10 months(putting me around 180)

    gained some back after my divorce
    and have yo-yo'd ever since


    i still fight............but i intend to win................for good................i want to die a victor:bigsmile:
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
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    I am currently at my highest weight (~120) and I do not feel comfortable with myself, due to the fact that the weight gain was caused by an unhealthy lifestyle. Oftentimes, I feel disgusted with myself.


    I totally get it. Its not how much you have to lose that is important its about how you feel. Its so frigin hard to choose health when youve been choosing crap for so long, I keep moing forward and trying hard not to look back. I do fall off sometimes like today ugh!! but tomorrow is a new fresh start to be healthy. Cheers to you!!
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
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    106kg (233lb)... I felt angry, jealous, ugly, useless, disgusting... but I think most of all I felt like a failure. I am a confident and outgoing person in all aspects of my life, I have always been 100% sure of my intelligence, my abilities and I've always been an overachiever. Even in relation to sport, despite being a bit bigger in high school, I was pretty good at everything and rep in a few things. So to have this one thing that I consistently couldn't do, that I failed at, was really hard. I just couldn't be skinny and I felt like it consumed me and overshadowed absolutely everything else I achieved.

    Now I am about 180lb, still not as lean as I would like to be, but I am a very different person. I am really really fit and strong... my weight doesn't overshadow the rest of my life... but that feeling of failure and frustration is still there. Some days I just feel really hard-done by, I train harder and am stronger and fitter than literally every single one of my (non-gym-buddy) friends... but I am still the biggest. I watch what I eat more than them.... but I am still the biggest. Of all the growing and changing I have done, I still care way way too much what other people think of me :(
  • laineyluma
    laineyluma Posts: 358 Member
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    90 lbs at my smallest (anorexic)
    227 at my heaviest (post pregnancy weight)

    Currently at 179

    I suffer from BDD And no matter what weight I am at I struggle with acceptance of myself. But right now I feel STRONG. And I have never felt that way before... It's, refreshing?
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
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    191 was my highest. I just wanted to hide. I didn't want anyone looking at me. Everyone said I wasn't fat but I felt fat and uncomfortable in clothes. I never felt pretty and i'm still working on it. I'm only 8 lbs. down and it's going really slow but at least it's going

    8lbs is fantastic!!!! the slower it comes off the better it will stay off. Well thats what Ive been told keep up the fantasic job:)
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,723 Member
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    222 pounds. I felt bloated, miserable, and tired all the time. Currently around 175, with 165 as the ultimate goal, although really, i could give a *kitten*. I've packed on a fair amount of muscle in my legs from running, spinning, and biking, and knocked my waist down to a 32 from a 38, and now wear a medium shirt instead of a x-large. I'm really pretty happy where i'm at right now.
  • JennsRAQ
    JennsRAQ Posts: 132 Member
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    My highest was a little over 6 weeks ago - 40 weeks pregnant with my fourth child... 5'3" and 189.2 lbs.
    Now I'm back in the upper 150s and working my way down again. My normal non-pregnant "high weight" is around 152 and the lowest adult weight I've been at is 127. I hope to get back there one day!

    My husband is 6'2" and a beanpole at under 160lbs at all times. It's very frustrating and embarrassing knowing that I weigh more than my husband who is 11" taller than me. :-/ He eats big portions of junk and sits on his butt literally all day and evening. Annoying!

    Anyway, I felt helpless as a pregnant lady and scared when I came home to still weigh 173 when we got back from the hospital. Now that I'm in the 150s, I feel much more in control. Overweight, yes... but I have gone down this weight journey path twice before now and know that I can get this stuff done with some focus and exercise. :)
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    when i was 21 i gained 60 lbs in a yr...............i weighed 287 lbs

    i couldn't bend down and tie my shoes without all the blood rushing to my face....sometimes when i would bend over.....i would throw up in my mouth a little

    i couldn't breathe without labouring after walking from one end of my house to the other

    i hurt always
    inside and out:cry:

    i hated myself...avoided mirrors....only wore plain dark clothes with no character
    rarely smiled or laughed
    never looked anyone in the eye

    withdrew from all friendships and social events
    came home and ate til i was sick
    stopped wearing makeup
    cut my hair off like a boys....bc i didn't even feel like a woman anymore

    i was just a fat, androgynous........THING



    i started therapy for depression....and found out depression was the least of my mental issues

    i had some sick skeletons in my closet i was feeding
    my body was always full

    my heart and soul were starving to death:brokenheart:



    during the first 2 years of therapy.....i started recovering my identity....and my beauty

    i lost quite a bit of weight(roughly 30 lbs)


    then i had a relapse:sick: and became just sick of myself...gained some back

    i got angry with myself

    showed myself some tough love
    that yr i lost 87 lbs in 10 months(putting me around 180)

    gained some back after my divorce
    and have yo-yo'd ever since


    i still fight............but i intend to win................for good................i want to die a victor:bigsmile:




    you are a strong woman you keep getting up when you get knocked down You ARE AWESOME!!!!! you will get there feel free to add me as a friend if you like cheers to you:drinker:
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
    Options
    90 lbs at my smallest (anorexic)
    227 at my heaviest (post pregnancy weight)

    Currently at 179

    I suffer from BDD And no matter what weight I am at I struggle with acceptance of myself. But right now I feel STRONG. And I have never felt that way before... It's, refreshing?

    I don't suffer BDD, but in some ways I can relate to the idea that getting strong can help us see our bodies for what they can do, rather than how they look. Strength training really changed my attitude to my body because all of a sudden I saw a purpose to my build :)
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
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    150lbs was my heaviest weight, although I may have hit 154lbs at one point (not sure).
    I'm 164cm/5"4.5, and have a smallish frame.

    I felt lethargic, unattractive, and that it was high time I took a sip of concrete and toughened up.

    Yep, that was the point where I decided, "Right. I'm overweight. What am I going to do about it?"
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    106kg (233lb)... I felt angry, jealous, ugly, useless, disgusting... but I think most of all I felt like a failure. I am a confident and outgoing person in all aspects of my life, I have always been 100% sure of my intelligence, my abilities and I've always been an overachiever. Even in relation to sport, despite being a bit bigger in high school, I was pretty good at everything and rep in a few things. So to have this one thing that I consistently couldn't do, that I failed at, was really hard. I just couldn't be skinny and I felt like it consumed me and overshadowed absolutely everything else I achieved.

    Now I am about 180lb, still not as lean as I would like to be, but I am a very different person. I am really really fit and strong... my weight doesn't overshadow the rest of my life... but that feeling of failure and frustration is still there. Some days I just feel really hard-done by, I train harder and am stronger and fitter than literally every single one of my (non-gym-buddy) friends... but I am still the biggest. I watch what I eat more than them.... but I am still the biggest. Of all the growing and changing I have done, I still care way way too much what other people think of me :(

    I think changing the way we think of ourselfs is the hardest part. you will get there it takes time for our minds to change. You have done an outstanding job on getting yourself fit the rest will follow :):smile:
  • gotchakatja
    gotchakatja Posts: 44 Member
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    159 was my highest and that's when I knew I needed to do something.

    But apparently that never really showed on my body. I don't /look/ fat. Just chubby. Or something. I don't know, honestly. haha. I've told friends how much I weigh and they're always surprised. So. I guess I'm lucky in that respect. But I've always had awful self-esteem, so. I felt miserable at that weight.


    When I was your weight I carried it well to I was more soild I was in gymnastics to so I was fit as well.Wow things have changed. How are you feeling now?

    Yeah, I'm not sure why my body doesn't show the weight. But. I'm not complaining. haha.

    I feel a little better now. Honestly, my self-esteem is just so terrible that I still feel miserable at this weight. But not as bad, obviously. I know it'll get better the more progress I make. :]
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    :flowerforyou:
    90 lbs at my smallest (anorexic)
    227 at my heaviest (post pregnancy weight)

    Currently at 179

    I suffer from BDD And no matter what weight I am at I struggle with acceptance of myself. But right now I feel STRONG. And I have never felt that way before... It's, refreshing?


    your weight loss is fabulous!!! keep fighting the battle you are beautiful:flowerforyou:
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    My highest was a little over 6 weeks ago - 40 weeks pregnant with my fourth child... 5'3" and 189.2 lbs.
    Now I'm back in the upper 150s and working my way down again. My normal non-pregnant "high weight" is around 152 and the lowest adult weight I've been at is 127. I hope to get back there one day!

    My husband is 6'2" and a beanpole at under 160lbs at all times. It's very frustrating and embarrassing knowing that I weigh more than my husband who is 11" taller than me. :-/ He eats big portions of junk and sits on his butt literally all day and evening. Annoying!

    Anyway, I felt helpless as a pregnant lady and scared when I came home to still weigh 173 when we got back from the hospital. Now that I'm in the 150s, I feel much more in control. Overweight, yes... but I have gone down this weight journey path twice before now and know that I can get this stuff done with some focus and exercise. :)


    The 16lbs you have lost is great!!!! keep up the fantastic job :)
  • cdc33
    cdc33 Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    150lbs was my heaviest weight, although I may have hit 154lbs at one point (not sure).
    I'm 164cm/5"4.5, and have a smallish frame.

    I felt lethargic, unattractive, and that it was high time I took a sip of concrete and toughened up.

    Yep, that was the point where I decided, "Right. I'm overweight. What am I going to do about it?"

    I noticed that you are not to far from your goal High five for you! you are doing great keep it up:wink:

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