Does anyone else NOT want kids?

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  • cr_rn
    cr_rn Posts: 3 Member
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    I definitely think it's a personal choice. I desparately wanted to have a family and children, but was not meeting the right man for the "job." I was told to just have the kids on my own, but that goes against my values. I'm now 41, and very comfortable with the fact that I have no children, and realize that I wouldn't get to do the things I want if I had them. I know that sounds very selfish, but I call it mature enough to realize that I wouldn't make a good mother. I say tell your mother-in-law, get it out in the open. She'll either accept it or she won't, and her reaction is her deal, not yours. Your choice to not have kids is your deal and not hers.
  • k_pickle
    k_pickle Posts: 45 Member
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    I am also 28, my husband is 30, and we don't want kids either. I love my neices, but I don't have any desire to have children of my own. My husband and are are happy, so why change anything. We want to spend our money on us! I think people want babies, not kids, anyway lol They forget that they grow up & then you are dealing with adolescents and teenagers....just honestly not my thing...When we go to family events and everyone starts telling us we need to have kids, I now tell them "Sell me one it...Tell me how my life is going to get better with children" That's worked lately because they know we really enjoy our lives now. My husband & I talked seriously about it thought, and we know that if we are 40 & want kids, then we will have done all of the things we wanted to do & we can adopt!
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    I believe it to be my holy duty to help God populate the Earth. I am looking for a good Christian woman to join me in this journey to lose weight and have children.

    First and foremost..rather than populating the earth..you need to take of the little ones that are already here...thats what we did..coudnt "populate" the earth..so we took in what was already here..and you cant tell my daughters werent here from the get-go..no one believes that they are adopted..cause they look so much like me..I only have one answer.."God is Great!"
    But then, they won't be my children.

    Genetically no but kids can become your kids and love them just as if they were your own. Saying they wont be my children is the most selfish, egomanicial concept. All children are God's children, and if you are a God fearing man, then it should not make a difference. All I have to say is get over yourself - really.
  • 3rdChance
    3rdChance Posts: 6
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    Hi! I'm 38, had my tubes tied at 26, and there are no regrets. It was like body and brain were finally on the same page!

    I did not get married until I was 32 and people often made remarks about the ticking clock and what not, and I would find myself kind of gleeful as I was in on a joke where they did not know the punch line. Being in my late 20's and single, it was much less of an issue.

    As for the people in your life who really want to be grandparents, simply, "That's a private decision," or even "That's not my wish," should work. They can either get over it or not--but that's not your problem. I continued to do what I like to do while my Mom mourned her non-existant grandkids for four years only to finally come to peace with the fact I did what was right for me. I know I love aunthood myself: I am happy to see my nieces and also happy to give them back.

    Because yes, it is different when they are your own--you are responsible for them 100% 24/7/365.
  • BandForAlyAnne
    BandForAlyAnne Posts: 321 Member
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    i never want kids. i dont like them, and i have no desire to have them. i can tolerate somebody elses kid for about 10mins then im out. lol. my biggest fear is that i won't be able to find a man who also doesnt want kids tho. but some of the posts in this thread give me hope. :)
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    Tell your MIL that, unfortunately, her son doesn't want kids. That he keeps alluding to some incredibly tragic event that happened when he was a child, and that forever changed his mind about having his own children. Ask her if she knows anything about this. Pretend to be unconvinced when she claims, probably in shock, that she has no clue what you're talking about. Tell her you swore to your husband never to mention it, so she should just drop it. Then immediately change the subject.

    I think this will take care of the problem...

    ;-)

    --Prahasaurus
  • mymelody_78
    mymelody_78 Posts: 657 Member
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    I'm 29 and don't want to have kids. I love my niece to death, but I just don't want one of my own. I've reached the age where all of my friends are newly married and trying for the first baby so I'm starting to feel a bit out of the group, but it helps that I'm single so I get a lot more "We need to find you a guy" and a lot less "You need to start making babies."

    My sisters both keep telling me that I'll change my mind one day, but I've done a lot of thinking on this and I just don't want to have a child of my own for my own reasons.

    This sounds almost exactly like my situation!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    So I just turned 28 and I am married. I have always said "kids aren't my thing". My husband is on the fence and might like one but knows how I feel. I suppose many Mother in Laws & mothers are this way where they will constantly talk about babies or ask about when I plan on having kids, since I am getting to the age where I would need to decide soon. How do you say that you don't want them? My MIL keeps talking about my husband holding our new niece as "good practice", but I don't have the heart to tell her how I feel! Any advice?

    There's a group for this, you may get some nasty comments here . . . why? I don't the f know why someone would give you a hard time for being honest to your true self, but whatever. Planned kids are an agreement between the two people having them. If you both want them, you try to have them, if you don't want them you don't make the commitment to have them. If you aren't on the same page, watch out . . . love can only carry you so far sometimes. Whether or not you and your husband are having kids is an agreement and discussion between the two of you, if he would like to discuss it with your MIL then he should, but if you've expressed your desire to not discuss it with her than she needs to respect that. If she persists he needs to talk to her about backing off and he can decide (with your permission) to talk to her further about your intimate discussions regarding kiddos.

    While kids were definitely for me, they aren't for everyone, and it's better to know in advance then to not give your kids committed and desiring parent(s). I fully support a person's decision to not have them. That being said, my mom always said that she hated other people's kids and loved hers to a fault, that they're different when they're your own.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    ME ME ME. I always get SO MUCH *kitten* for not wanting precious kids. I'm sorry, but I'm vain about my body which is already wrecked as hell, and kids just plain piss me off. And.. they're constantly sticky.. or something. Just... no.
  • CCJ13
    CCJ13 Posts: 166 Member
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    I believe it to be my holy duty to help God populate the Earth. I am looking for a good Christian woman to join me in this journey to lose weight and have children.

    First and foremost..rather than populating the earth..you need to take of the little ones that are already here...thats what we did..coudnt "populate" the earth..so we took in what was already here..and you cant tell my daughters werent here from the get-go..no one believes that they are adopted..cause they look so much like me..I only have one answer.."God is Great!"
    But then, they won't be my children.

    I sure hope you didn't mean that. I have 1 that is adopted & we are possibly looking at adopting one more. The one we did adopt is as much mine as the 4 biological children I have.
  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
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    Hell no I don't want kids.
  • jimmie25
    jimmie25 Posts: 266
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    no kids.
  • VoodooLuLu
    VoodooLuLu Posts: 636 Member
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    i never wanted kids, kids never liked me now i have 2 of my own, love them and now i cant get rid of other kids hahaha
  • sjkcarter
    sjkcarter Posts: 417 Member
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    I will be 29 in July and I have never had the desire to have children. My niece and nephew joke about when my mom tells them they are her favorite grandchildren. They always say they are her only grandkids, and probably will be since aunt ShaRon doesn't like kids. I not that I don't like kids, I am actually very good with children, I just don't want any. I sometimes think it is because I am single and just haven't found the "right guy", but I have felt this way my whole life. I just like being able to do what I want when I want to do it. Call me selfish, but I'm cool with it.
  • reddingaz
    reddingaz Posts: 39 Member
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    35, married 11 years - No kiddos for us. It was a choice we both made & we're both good with it. The in-laws on both sides seem to have finally accepted it. Don't dislike children, just don't necessarily want them or the responsibility that comes along with.
  • sjkcarter
    sjkcarter Posts: 417 Member
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    Nope.
    I'm allergic

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Love this. I used to say this...
  • Xandralexa
    Xandralexa Posts: 87
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    People change. But those who know themselves very well are usually the ones to stick to their choices. Such as myself. I'm 23 and I have no problem admitting that I'm selfish, but that doesn't even begin to cover the many reasons I don't want children. Sometimes I keep this to myself because people find offense no matter how I say it. Especially in this day in age, where certain people think it's appropriate to police what women do with their bodies. No kids for me anytime soon.

    I do think that you and your husband should've been more certain about children before marriage. If he wants children, that does seem a bit selfish. That's something you guys should definitely talk about again. Your mother-in-law however, has no business in your choices. It's not her place in my opinion.
  • kym117
    kym117 Posts: 315 Member
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    So I just turned 28 and I am married. I have always said "kids aren't my thing". My husband is on the fence and might like one but knows how I feel. I suppose many Mother in Laws & mothers are this way where they will constantly talk about babies or ask about when I plan on having kids, since I am getting to the age where I would need to decide soon. How do you say that you don't want them? My MIL keeps talking about my husband holding our new niece as "good practice", but I don't have the heart to tell her how I feel! Any advice?

    Hi, I am 38 years old and I have been with my husband for 19 years and we have been married for 12 years next month we do not have children and do not want children. It was a shocker for family and friends as you are starting to notice, as soon as you get married people want to know when the babies are coming! When we got married we tried for a year or so but nothing happened, then we began to ask ourselves whether we were doing it for us or them the truth is we were more than happy with our lives and I was never really very maternal anyway. My husband wanted a child intially to "carry on the family name" but that to me was not a valid reason to bring a child into the world. We are, and are the first to admit very selfish people we like our own company, each others company our dogs company! We like going to gig's and going out with friends etc and my husband collects guitars (he is the first one to say that he wouldn't want finger prints all over them). The fact is we are very happy the way we are. I think you will ask yourself at times if you have made the right decision but I know we have and people do eventually stop asking!
  • Michelle650
    Michelle650 Posts: 218
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    Everyone is different! I think it's a personal choice....or one that a couple have to make together! I'm only eighteen, but I cannot wait until I am older and have children! I have always wanted to get married and have children....I suppose it also is because I want to be a midwife!

    The way I see it.....if you and your husband don't want kids, don't have anyway! It's your choice, your life. Once BOTH of you come to this conclusion! Who gives a crap what any other family member want!

    Live you life the way you want! I know a couple who don't have any children (they can't have any). They made the decision not to adopt and accepted that maybe they just weren't meant to be parents. They enjoy their life to the full. The go on 2 holidays a year, one of which is to spend Christmas in las Vegas!

    Life's too short to worry about what other people think!
  • kym117
    kym117 Posts: 315 Member
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    I hate kids. I think they are foul and disgusting. Parents these days don't teach their children manners and it seems to only be getting worse. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but still, no thanks.

    I get so frustrated at people that say "Oh you'll change your mind. it's different when they are your own." that might be their mindset and how they felt, but I'm 30 and am more than certain that it will not happen EVER. :)

    Haha I love this post!

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