Does anyone else NOT want kids?

sportyredhead01

I haven't read through the posts yet but I hate when people ask about that.

I'm 29 and EVERYONE was on my case when we first got married 4 years ago.
I think it's awesome that my friends are able to begin that journey but for now, in our situation, I don't have the time or money for even one. My husband and I both work two jobs to afford our bills so we barely have time for our dog let alone a baby.

Also I feel that's a rude question no matter who asks it. What if you HAD been trying for years or had some kind of medical situation *down there* that made it difficult to conceive.

You'll know when you're ready (or not ready.)
Besides I figure if I miss out on my ability to carry one, we could look into adoption.
No one knows you situation except you and your hubby and that's whose decision it is.

Best of luck!

P.S. To answer the question, I MAYBE would like one but if it never happens, whatever.

Elizabeth_C34

I haven't read through the posts yet but I hate when people ask about that.

I'm 29 and EVERYONE was on my case when we first got married 4 years ago.
I think it's awesome that my friends are able to begin that journey but for now, in our situation, I don't have the time or money for even one. My husband and I both work two jobs to afford our bills so we barely have time for our dog let alone a baby.

Also I feel that's a rude question no matter who asks it. What if you HAD been trying for years or had some kind of medical situation *down there* that made it difficult to conceive.

You'll know when you're ready (or not ready.)
Besides I figure if I miss out on my ability to carry one, we could look into adoption.
No one knows you situation except you and your hubby and that's whose decision it is.

Best of luck!

P.S. To answer the question, I MAYBE would like one but if it never happens, whatever.

It took us two years to conceive, and the "when are you having kids" question always kinda stabbed me in the heart a little.

I wish people wouldn't ask it. It's very personal.

AlbaAngel25

better to not bring kids into this world if you wont raise/treat them right and put them first. So props to those who can admit that they would rather put themselves first. Think of how many children are out there that didn't ask to come into this world and that are left behind or on the backburner..
As for myself, I have a 9 month old and am completely in love! I might even want another in the future!!

fionarama

why do you have to decide, definitively, now? you are only 28, you have LOADS of time. relax! I got pregnant at 38 , at 28 wasn't even thinking about kids, but now having one at 38 was the best thing I ever did in my life ever!

there's a little secret that for some reason parents don't seem to share much (hence I had an incredibly negative idea about what being a mother was like). Having kids (well one kid!) is LOADS OF FUN! more fun than a rock gig. more fun than going out with friends (by the way your friends kind of disappear into family life as you get older and it gets easier to socialise if you have kids).

I think when you are childless you only notice the horrible noisy ones when out and about and think of the limitations. You don't think of the endless positives of just what a new and better perspective it can give you.

and - yup, it sure is different when they are your own.

lizzybethclaire

I don't want kids. I have never wanted kids. I love kids, but I always knew when I was younger that being a mother was never going to be my destiny. I maried a man with 3 kids and while I love them with all my heart it still has not changed my mind about having kids of my own. My mom freaked when I told her that we were not going to have any kids together. I have gotten a lot of crap from people (at church especially) that there is something wrong with me because I don't want to have a baby. All that matters is what you and your husband want.

litelight

I didn't want any. Then I had one, and I didn't want anymore. He's 25 now; and I can't have anymore kids. Now I want one! LOL!

SoViLicious

My children mean the world to me. I would never change the fact that I had them. But I respect anyone who decides that parenting is not for them. The reality is that when you have children your life does change and you are no longer able to only put yourself first. If anyone tells you otherwise and they have children (especially) they are LYING or is Casey Anthony. I long for the days when the simple act of leaving my house takes only ten seconds. Now it is a fifteen minute event. My house is filled of animal shaped food and my television (when on) is stuck on Nick Jr. I have memorized every Dr, Seuss book and am asked to perform them daily. I long for a quiet house but then it is silent I know that someone is up to no good. I am constantly keeping my kids from trying to kill each other or themselves. My husband and I take child friendly vacations and they are sweet, but they do not leave us relaxed. Basically what i am saying if you enjoy your lifestyle of travel, last minute plans, and the possibility to sleep in on a weekend, please wait and do not have kids. Because those things are not possible when you do have them. Well when they are small anyway. Mine are 20 months and 4. I love them to pieces...but I wish i had a pause button.

Giantess

My fiancee and I agreed we're going to tell his mom that we can't. She's already been bugging us for a while, and making me hold her grandbabies. She had seven kids, and her second oldest son has four kids and counting. She doesn't understand not wanting kids. Her self-identity is centered around being a mom. Anyone who doesn't want to be a mom is insulting her by saying that in some way they don't approve of her choices. She's very threatened by it.

She's a great lady in other regards, and I love her very much. But we can't tell her that we don't want kids. It would tear her to pieces. So we're just gonna go with "We tried but can't."

My own parents are way more chill. They've never dropped a hint, and made it very clear to us that it's our choice. They got hounded when they were younger--they waited ten years to have kids. So they won't put us through what they went through.

I love kids. I'm an elementary teacher, and I think they're awesome.

But I like my adult time too much. I get plenty of kid-joy and kid-pride and kid-frustration at work every day. : )

nomayo

Hi. I like kids, and for some reason my nieces and nephews follow me all the time, even my friends' kids like to play with me, but I don't see myself being a mom. I'm 30 YO and I don't want children. I always knew this, and I told my then boyfriend and still he decided to marry me. At the beggining of our marriage he wanted but now, he told me he is pretty much enjoying life with no children. Our reasons may sound selfish to some persons, it may sound OK to others, but the thing is, this is a very personal issue (deciding having children or not) and nobody can decide over your body or your spouse/parter's body. The truth is, we all do with our body pretty much what we want and have the kids that we want. So, about your MIL, My MIL knows that we don't want to be parents because I told her, and I know it breakes her heart everytime she asks "when" and we just keep saying "NO". I think the best to do is to be honest with your MIL, she will be pissed, or dissapointed, but it is better that she knows the truth. Probably after you tell her she will try to convince you one way or another, even insult you with comments (I have had people (not MIL) telling me that my husband will leave me for somebody younger that gives him kids, or the "then why do you think you were born a woman in the first place?" question), but people will get used to the idea that you are a childfree couple and that pretty much you don't need to give any explanation to anybody about your life. When people I just met ask when are we having family or how many, I just say "not now, let's see later" and that's it. If the person insists in getting an answer right there, I say "excuse me" and go to the WC, or go to chat with somebody else, or just change the subject, like "excuse me, before I forgot, Can you give me the recipe for that apple pie you make?", or something like that...

OK, after a long response, my point is people WILL HAVE a problem with you not having children, so be prepare that some persons will judge you and even stop being friends with you, but it is THEIR problem, not yours. Just enjoy your childfree life, don't worry too much. Trust me, I've been marry for 7 years now and people don't ask me anymore (family and close friends) about us having children.

KateCon912

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

nomayo

My children mean the world to me. I would never change the fact that I had them. But I respect anyone who decides that parenting is not for them. The reality is that when you have children your life does change and you are no longer able to only put yourself first. If anyone tells you otherwise and they have children (especially) they are LYING or is Casey Anthony. I long for the days when the simple act of leaving my house takes only ten seconds. Now it is a fifteen minute event. My house is filled of animal shaped food and my television (when on) is stuck on Nick Jr. I have memorized every Dr, Seuss book and am asked to perform them daily. I long for a quiet house but then it is silent I know that someone is up to no good. I am constantly keeping my kids from trying to kill each other or themselves. My husband and I take child friendly vacations and they are sweet, but they do not leave us relaxed. Basically what i am saying if you enjoy your lifestyle of travel, last minute plans, and the possibility to sleep in on a weekend, please wait and do not have kids. Because those things are not possible when you do have them. Well when they are small anyway. Mine are 20 months and 4. I love them to pieces...but I wish i had a pause button.

My hat's off to you Ma'am, you are very sincere, these are the kind of things people won't tell you, that your life changes forever if you have children. Kudos.

SoViLicious

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

At 22 having kids was NEVER on my mind. I grew up in Irvington NJ. A lot the girls I went to middle school had babies right after high school. It is not mind blowing to see young unwed mothers. People use to be surprised when I told them I did not have children. However I was raised up with the mentality that marry first then kids. Don't get me wrong, life does not always work out that way. I don't judge and am not judging there are many different families out there. The bottom line is, people should not start pushing babies on a 22 year old. live and let be! Enjoy your life, if children are not meant to be part of it then you wont have them. Not everyone can or should have children. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks do what makes you healthy and sane.

Elizabeth_C34

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

At 22, I never wanted kids either. 8 girls in my senior class in high school were pregnant out of 200 in my graduating class. They put a daycare in my high school. Creeped me out bigtime.

daffodilsoup

Don't have em, don't want em. My friends and family can send me pictures of their kids, and I'll send them postcards from Fiji

Miss_Chievous_wechange

Kids are overrated!

SoViLicious

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

I cannot imagine anyone actively trying to have a kid at 22. 22 was all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

At 22, I never wanted kids either. 8 girls in my senior class in high school were pregnant out of 200 in my graduating class. They put a daycare in my high school. Creeped me out bigtime.

KateCon912

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

At 22 having kids was NEVER on my mind. I grew up in Irvington NJ. A lot the girls I went to middle school had babies right after high school. It is not mind blowing to see young unwed mothers. People use to be surprised when I told them I did not have children. However I was raised up with the mentality that marry first then kids. Don't get me wrong, life does not always work out that way. I don't judge and am not judging there are many different families out there. The bottom line is, people should not start pushing babies on a 22 year old. live and let be! Enjoy your life, if children are not meant to be part of it then you wont have them. Not everyone can or should have children. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks do what makes you healthy and sane.

Thanks! Yeah even my Fiance's family is pressuring us to start having kids. But the difference with our families is his mom was 21 when she had him, but my mom was 31 when I was born. So there is a big difference in what's acceptable in our families. They are slowly learning that I don't want kids at all.

And my best friend is due in July and she actually got mad at me when I said I don't want kids. Like she got offended. Ugh.

dayone987

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

No need to call those that want or have kids nuts or trashy. They are entitled to become a mother just as you are entitled not to become one. if you don't want kids, I would never try and talk you into it.
And btw many women do "something " with their lives as well as being a mom.

SoViLicious

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

At 22 having kids was NEVER on my mind. I grew up in Irvington NJ. A lot the girls I went to middle school had babies right after high school. It is not mind blowing to see young unwed mothers. People use to be surprised when I told them I did not have children. However I was raised up with the mentality that marry first then kids. Don't get me wrong, life does not always work out that way. I don't judge and am not judging there are many different families out there. The bottom line is, people should not start pushing babies on a 22 year old. live and let be! Enjoy your life, if children are not meant to be part of it then you wont have them. Not everyone can or should have children. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks do what makes you healthy and sane.

Thanks! Yeah even my Fiance's family is pressuring us to start having kids. But the difference with our families is his mom was 21 when she had him, but my mom was 31 when I was born. So there is a big difference in what's acceptable in our families. They are slowly learning that I don't want kids at all.

And my best friend is due in July and she actually got mad at me when I said I don't want kids. Like she got offended. Ugh.

I would never be mad at someone who chooses not to have kids. That's silly. I have friends with children and I have friends without. My friends who don't have kids actually love to be around my children. They come over and bring them cookies and play with them for hours. My friends with kids, well they mostly want to go out and hang out away from kids. Sometimes we bring the kids together and let the husbands take care of the kids while we chat. The thing is that there are some many different dynamics to being an adult. There are single people, single but dating people, married people with kids, married people without children. We all live differently and have created different cultures. I have married friends with children who are Stay at home moms who judge me for being a working mother.

KateCon912

I really thought I was alone in feeling this way. I'm glad to see there are more SANE people out there!

It seems like all the girls I graduated HS with have kids now! I'm only 22! They are all nuts! I'm sorry, but I want to do something with my life and be more than just a "mom". But they might think it's so important and impressive, but at this age it's just trashy!

I never want kids.

No need to call those that want or have kids nuts or trashy. They are entitled to become a mother just as you are entitled not to become one. if you don't want kids, I would never try and talk you into it.
And btw many women do "something " with their lives as well as being a mom.

Sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention. I was generalizing and I shouldn't have said it like that. But the girls I know with kids ARE trashy and ONLY want to be moms, and nothing else. It's sad, but it's so glamorized today.