MFP Mythology

ninerbuff

Here's an introduction to the "GODS" of MFP Mythology and their power.

FLOURA- Goddess of white flour and inundates the body with white processed carbs causing insulin issues for NORMAL people and getting them overweight.

CARBINA- Goddess and sister to Floura also one who is harmful and powerful enough to make people overweight by saturating their cells with carbohydrates.

ASPARTO- Younger God to sisters above and has power over diet soda. He causes you to crave sweet foods.

Feel free to add more MFP mythology gods and their powers.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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IAMDDAY

you sir are creative

chuckyp

Confusae Calorica - Goddess of raising doubt about eating back exercise calories.

bathsheba_c

Hyfructa - Goddess who resides deep inside a corn kernel; she causes the ratio of fructose to glucose in corn syrup to be every so slightly off from that in cane sugar, leading to INSTANTANEOUS DEATH

Steviana - Beneficent twin sister to Hyfructa, who provides calorie-free sweetness to humankind out of the goodness of her heart. She works her magic through a plant. So it must be healthy.

juliecat1

Onlyasianscanusechopsticks-ica.

:flowerforyou:

DerDude

Hefty the presumed dead - God of metrology.....pray him with: "Muscles are heavier than fat!"

ninerbuff

Hyfructa - Goddess who resides deep inside a corn kernel; she causes the ratio of fructose to glucose in corn syrup to be every so slightly off from that in cane sugar, leading to INSTANTANEOUS DEATH

Steviana - Beneficent twin sister to Hyfructa, who provides calorie-free sweetness to humankind out of the goodness of her heart. She works her magic through a plant. So it must be healthy.

Nice!!!

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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ninerbuff

Hefty the presumed dead - God of metrology.....pray him with: "Muscles are heavier than fat!"

Bwahaha!

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

StarkLark

Here's an introduction to the "GODS" of MFP Mythology and their power.

FLOURA- Goddess of white flour and inundates the body with white processed carbs causing insulin issues for NORMAL people and getting them overweight.

CARBINA- Goddess and sister to Floura also one who is harmful and powerful enough to make people overweight by saturating their cells with carbohydrates.

ASPARTO- Younger God to sisters above and has power over diet soda. He causes you to crave sweet foods.

Hyfructa - Goddess who resides deep inside a corn kernel; she causes the ratio of fructose to glucose in corn syrup to be every so slightly off from that in cane sugar, leading to INSTANTANEOUS DEATH

Steviana - Beneficent twin sister to Hyfructa, who provides calorie-free sweetness to humankind out of the goodness of her heart. She works her magic through a plant. So it must be healthy.

JennieAL

This is excellent work :flowerforyou:

ninerbuff

CLEANERO God of clean eating. Fools you by using his power to fool others into thinking that clean eating is the only way to get lean.

BULKRA Goddess that intimidates females from wanting to lift heavy weights

LIPIDOS God that tricks people into eating after 7pm so they can get fat.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Gloworm46

Chocodite - the temptress above all others Lures you with promises of sensual delight . . .

Sugoseidon - the moody god of sweetness - you definitely can live without him. His very name speaks of death!

Veggiezeus - King of health! He fills you up and cleans you out.

StarkLark

BODYBYVISUS Repeated sacrifices from your wallet and this god will reveal the secret formula to weight loss (in shake form of course, and don't forget to tell your friends!)

taso42

Nocturnos - is always watching the clock, and if he sees you eating past 6pm, he casts a fat spell on you

DerDude

BODYBYVISUS Repeated sacrifices from your wallet and this god will reveal the secret formula to weight loss (in shake form of course, and don't forget to tell your friends!)

rofl :laugh:

ninerbuff

Nocturnos - is always watching the clock, and if he sees you eating past 6pm, he casts a fat spell on you

Twin brother to LIPIDOS!!!:laugh:

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

JennieAL

Rofl!!!!!

taso42

Dodecacaloron - punishes those who eat over 1200 calories by causing fat storage. Especially vulnerable to this god are young ladies who "know their bodies".

becoming_a_new_me

Protenia - God of slow-digesting protien who is needed especially after hard workouts...fraternal twin brother to Veggiezeus...they are both most powerful when put together

BroScientifica - She is the goddess of useless and biased knowledge

Palento - God of eating only what the cavemen eat or else slow and painful death ensues

Gapados - God of the ever elusive thigh gap

Sockimobi

Haha nice thread! Esp as it's stopping me from working!

DerDude

Dodecacaloron - punishes those who eat over 1200 calories by causing fat storage. Especially vulnerable to this god are young ladies who "know their bodies".

Ahhhh, lololol.....like this ...who"know their bodies"!!!! This is so true!

Sarauk2sf

I have absolutely nothing clever to add - but these are fanf*ckingtabulous.

elcieloesazul

Twelvehundronia - As punishment for the evils of humanity, places the idea of a 1,200 calorie diet in the minds of all beginning weight loss-goers.

ETA: Love this thread.

StarkLark

Plateaunius A god dreaded by all on MFP. He has been known to inexplicably stall weight-loss, causing anxiety and stress.

bathsheba_c

Cleansus - God of crash diets and gastrointestinal distress

Pebble321

Did we mention HYDROPHYLIO yet?
The god who will smite you if you don't drink 8 glasses of water every day? And don't even talk to him about coffee...

Lift_This_

Best thing I have read all day!!!

elcieloesazul

Wipidius - Causes sudden lack of self-awereness, resulting in gym-goers not wiping down their machines. One of the most wrathful gods.

Sockimobi

Thigh Gappius - The least cared about Goddess on the face of planet MFP. She has no power and no one cares.

elcieloesazul

Tom - Responsible for all the threads about "that time of the month." He beats dead horses for fun.

StevePerry-ius - Makes MFP users feel obligated to describe their weight loss as a "journey."

Ozcia - Creator of Dr. Oz. Much like Pygmalion, fell in love with his creation. The fanaticism spread, and is still seen amongst the over-40 crowd.

Bikinidite - She never wore a bikini. As a result, curses women to be obsessed with the two-pieced suit.

Aquaes - Have you ever guzzled water one day and woken up the next a few pounds heavier? Yep, that's the work or Aquaes and his brother, Sodiumos.

StarkLark

Trollos Oft-misidentified god. Known to keep the forums lively and a specialist at locks and deleted threads. Will often materialize as a new account with a single post count.