A stranger's harsh words

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  • Weight_less
    Weight_less Posts: 102 Member
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    I'm normally quite a strong person and don't really let anyone who says anything affect me, but on Friday, that all changed..!

    I was out with friends for a long brunch (my "cheat" meal for the month) and some random (albeit drunk) man was walking around with his girlfriend and said to her 'let's get away from here because that woman is fat".. in ear shot!!! I asked him what he said and he repeated it, looking directly at me, "what, you are really fat"... my only response was that I couldn't help it if he was an "a'hole"... but the damage was done, I was devastated, still am. I held myself together, until I got in a taxi and then bawled my eyes out for an hour until I fell asleep... how does he not know what affect this could have on someone, what if they weren't as strong as I am??

    How can anyone be that cruel..! It is clearly up to you what you think, but why would you say something so offensive to someone your walking past, whether you know them or not..!

    I used to be "less cuddly" but through a year of ups and downs and stress and tragedy, I've gained around 60 pounds... I started work on finding myself again at the beginning of June and shed 9 of them so far. My journey's only just beginning but people like that don't help... although I woke up the next morning and went for a 5km walk in searing heat - so I guess, sucks to be him (probably cuddling a toilet bowl somewhere) because what he did, made me get up the next morning to ensure I got my exercise in..! I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!

    Tell me about it... One year ago I was shopping in a grocery shop. Old ugly lady (looking like a witch or horror villain) came to me and she was acting sooooo rude as I can hardly explain. She was staring at me with anger and hate, she was looking at my tummy, chest, legs, face...She was stalking after me and whispering something like a spell. I was so upset!!! I cried!!! I couldn't forget about it and still can not. My boyfriend asked me why I was so upset and I was ashamed to tell him truth.
    I can't understand why people are so cruel. What the heck is wrong with them?
  • pinkly14fun2
    pinkly14fun2 Posts: 55
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    There is a person in my little town who loves to single me out and remind me how fat I am. This used to really bother me until I took a good hard look at him. He is the ugliest person inside and out. You are a wonderful person, no matter what your weight is! I truly believe that beauty comes from within and someone who would say that to you is missing out on a beautiful soul!
  • JessicaMarie9382
    JessicaMarie9382 Posts: 197
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    That is horrible! I'm sorry that happened to you! He was really an *kitten*. I can't believe people like that exisit! God forbid that happen again, BUT if does....your next response should be, "I can lose weight, however, your stuck with that ugly personality!" Ugh, I am so angry about this. I wish I could give you a hug!
  • jerber160
    jerber160 Posts: 2,606 Member
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    There is a person in my little town who loves to single me out and remind me how fat I am. This used to really bother me until I took a good hard look at him. He is the ugliest person inside and out. You are a wonderful person, no matter what your weight is! I truly believe that beauty comes from within and someone who would say that to you is missing out on a beautiful soul!

    you know a kid that used to tease me in junior high.. made my life miserable....eventually committed suicide leaving a wife and a couple of kids. he was never a happy person.....
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
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    I think we have all had times like that, when i was about 18 I remember going up some stairs to a club and a *****y woman came past me and said .now thats what I call big thigh, for gods sake, cheaky cow, I was only about 140llbs at that time and very slim. The trouble is with people is that, if your not stick thin your fat, if your not a size 6 then your fat, This world wants to wake up and stop being so ****ty. I would have said worse to him thats for sure.Too many people thing our bodies are perfect and like models, well wake up normal people are not like that, that idiot would be the same dope who would slate a person in a wheelchair too. Forget it, they are not worth your tears.I even think myself if the world wasnt so brain washed with there idea of stick thin people i would be alot happier myself.
  • tas3980
    tas3980 Posts: 93 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your kind words and wisdom! It is great to feel the support network on here..!

    Hindsight is a powerful tool. I don't wish him any harm because that is not who I am, I just wish he finds peace with whatever is eating him up inside.

    Support is a big thing in our journey's, it's especially important for me as I am an Australian living overseas away from my family and friends.

    Peace be with you all on your journey's!
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
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    Fat people are fair targets in a cruel world.
    And don't ever delude yourself; the world is cruel. Look no further than how kids can treat one another. And when it comes to mean comments about a person's looks, those too nice to say it are usually thinking it.
    It could be weight, hair, age - whatever. People like the one making comments abound.
    And this guy has to live with the miserable person that he is. That's his punishment.
    Don't be angry at him but pity him.
    Anybody so toxic and eaten up with the dismals is one to feel sorry for. Remember, when people act out, it's really nothing more than a cry for help.
    Just let it go and keep working toward your goals.
    All Is Possible :flowerforyou:

    ^^ this

    keep working toward your goals. unfortunately, there are people out there who will try to bring you down. don't let them make you feel any less than what you are. you are strong. keep moving forward. :heart:
  • alexveksler
    alexveksler Posts: 409 Member
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    You know what? World is full is *kitten*-wipes. His nasty words only made you stronger You on a right track and PLEASE stay focused. Peeps here will help and support you with everything you need. So, I am supporting you too. (and skip those cheat meals. they are useless :) )
  • Themuseinme
    Themuseinme Posts: 224 Member
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    so sorry you had to experience that!!!
    what a creep. he must really be an unhappy person.
    :flowerforyou:
  • burtonhl
    burtonhl Posts: 57
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    Well, ultimately you win. You can always lose the weight, and clearly, you already are - but he will always be an obnoxious *kitten*. Keep moving forward girl. Don't waste another moment of yourself on this idiot.
  • bbrat333
    bbrat333 Posts: 158 Member
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    He hit on your insecurities. It's ok to cry over it, but only this time. Next time smile, look the douche right in the eyes and say "Sure, I'm heavy. At least I feel secure enough about myself not to be a d!ck to others. I hope you have a good day!" with all the joy you can muster. Then go to the gym and beat the crap out of the punching bag, go swimming, or take it out on your boyfriend (in bed). Use his hateful, disgusting words as motivation. You are better than those words. I mean, he was drunk right? Five years from now he wil still be living in his mom's basement and playing beer pong with the recently turned 21 frat boys and you will be....enjoying your goal weight, married to your Prince Charming, backpacking in Europe, or kicking *kitten* as ruler of the universe?! It's easy to say "who cares what others say about you?!" but what you must overcome is what you think of yourself. Don't let anyone in your head. You can be ruler of the universe, if you believe it. ;)

    Yeah, I totally agree with this.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. Don't let that drunken insensitive pig upset you but you SHOULD HAVE lit into the dog-*kitten* b*tch with him. WOMEN create these monsters you know.

    I have a male friend who is phobic about fat women. It's from some childhood event that he NEVER addressed or sought treatment for. Same with your exp.
    That man's public display says more about HIM than it does about you. What is says to me is HE has issues - he's fkd up in his head and not only is he not treating- HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT! HOW screwed up do you have to be to not even know you're screwed up!? DON'T let some mental aberrant get inside YOUR head. YOU'RE not unstable, HE IS.
    My advice would be to try to tough up a little tho I know some ppl are too sensitive to be able to. You have to work on your snappy comebacks.
    I'd have said 'yes. I'm fat and YOU'RE STUPID. I'm working on MY ISSUES- WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE!?'
    another one I like to use is: 'does this mean the wedding is off?'
    Just letting a bully know they DON'T matter or upset you- HITTING THEM BACK WHERE THEY LIVE - is empowering.
    find HIS weak spot (he's MUCH weaker than YOU are or he wouldn't have attacked you)
    of course, that's NOT what a psychologist would recommed but then psycologists don't live in the real world anyway so who cares what they say?

    I like this. With bullies, you can't show that their words affected you. And they are very weak on the inside. My technique is also to get them at their soft spot.
  • Laultimacocacola
    Laultimacocacola Posts: 39
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    horrible!!! ugh what a jerk, don't let him stop your journey. People like that should not be allowed out in public...
  • trapperanne
    trapperanne Posts: 76 Member
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    unfortunately alcoholism is exceptable and obesity is not. I'm sure we all feel your pain in some way or another. This man tried to put you down to make himself look good. Unfortunately he made an *kitten* out of himself. He has a higher power to answer to and he will have to answer for that remark someday. (This is my belief). He will pay. Nothing goes around that doesn't come back around,
    Know that we love you exactly the way you are, and for who you are, and continue on for yourself to be the best you can be for you and nobody else. You are enough. Hugs!
  • MalissaDC
    MalissaDC Posts: 123
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    :( I'm sorry. Even though you know it was a drunk stranger, the words hurt and it's hard to shake but you keep doing what you're doing and know that you're changing.

    One time before I started losing weight, my husband and I went out for lunch. We were sitting in a booth and someone on the other side kept hitting their side of the booth. I was like, "Hmm that's weird" but whatever.
    When they got up to leave, he walked over to our table and said, "Oh that's the problem you're fat."

    ;0 He was implying that I was taking up his space on his side of the booth because I was fat. Seriously? That was so mean and of course I teared up.

    The woman he was with said something to him and my husband about decked him and I felt like garbage for a few days. People should realize those comments do not motivate one to lose weight.

    Sorry that happened to you :(
  • vibrantval
    vibrantval Posts: 46
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    wow Im sorry to hear that hun! What a f**** jerk!
    Its terrible that people are so cruel nowadays.
    WTG for getting up and getting youre exercise on!
    You can always change youre appearance to your liking, but that guy will always be an ignorant a**
  • danimal5867
    danimal5867 Posts: 390
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    Always remember that it will be easier for you to lose the weight than it will be for him to change his personality. Just keep working on it no matter what the world around you has to say.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I'm sorry this happened to you! People will always be cruel and try to knock you down. You just need to stick with your positivity and get strong.
  • sharont81
    sharont81 Posts: 24 Member
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    Mean people are IDJITS!!
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 841 Member
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    As the old joke goes, you can eat right, exercise and lose weight, but he'll still be an a**hole! I understand how he hurt your feelings. I'd probably have reacted the same as you. But know he's one jerk, and you have a lot of friends here who are understanding, supportive, and encouraging! We love you for you, not for your size!

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