A stranger's harsh words

Options
123457

Replies

  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 841 Member
    Options
    :( I'm sorry. Even though you know it was a drunk stranger, the words hurt and it's hard to shake but you keep doing what you're doing and know that you're changing.

    One time before I started losing weight, my husband and I went out for lunch. We were sitting in a booth and someone on the other side kept hitting their side of the booth. I was like, "Hmm that's weird" but whatever.
    When they got up to leave, he walked over to our table and said, "Oh that's the problem you're fat."

    ;0 He was implying that I was taking up his space on his side of the booth because I was fat. Seriously? That was so mean and of course I teared up.

    The woman he was with said something to him and my husband about decked him and I felt like garbage for a few days. People should realize those comments do not motivate one to lose weight.

    Sorry that happened to you :(

    Good for your husband!
  • d2rala
    d2rala Posts: 54
    Options
    I had a similar thing happen, fortunately, I knew this drunk. And he is a HUGE JERK drunk or sober.
    I had put on about 30 pounds since he last saw me - years ago. When he saw me - the first words were about my weight. To disarm him, I sat across from him and told him "To Bring it on" and I encouraged "Is that all you got?"
    The people behind me were laughing - at him and how foolish he and because I had the courage to stand up to him. (He's 6'8" and 400+ to my 5'5" and then 160). David vs Golitath.
    Moral of my story, is to stay strong, keep working for your goals, and best of all -
    You can (and will) loose the weight - that drunk will ALWAYS BE A JERK
    (and a coward - any man that attacks a woman - physically or verbally is a spineless coward - not worthy of a second thought by you!)
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    Options
    You should have said "You know what, you're right. Guess I really shouldn't have this then." And dumped your drink on him.

    What a douche.
  • lreyenga
    lreyenga Posts: 37
    Options
    He hit on your insecurities. It's ok to cry over it, but only this time. Next time smile, look the douche right in the eyes and say "Sure, I'm heavy. At least I feel secure enough about myself not to be a d!ck to others. I hope you have a good day!" with all the joy you can muster. Then go to the gym and beat the crap out of the punching bag, go swimming, or take it out on your boyfriend (in bed). Use his hateful, disgusting words as motivation. You are better than those words. I mean, he was drunk right? Five years from now he wil still be living in his mom's basement and playing beer pong with the recently turned 21 frat boys and you will be....enjoying your goal weight, married to your Prince Charming, backpacking in Europe, or kicking *kitten* as ruler of the universe?! It's easy to say "who cares what others say about you?!" but what you must overcome is what you think of yourself. Don't let anyone in your head. You can be ruler of the universe, if you beleive it. ;)

    Love this! And thanks to the original poster for sharing her story. We all face moments of cruelty and I for one will remember her for being strong and keeping true to her goals.
  • sehrler
    sehrler Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    Unbelievable how cruel people can be. I don't know why I'm always shocked, should know better by my age but I still am.

    When I was in college, 25 years ago, a boy I had turned down a date with (very politely) said something that still resonates in my head. It was the end of the semester, and we were all packing up the dorms to leave for summer. I weighed about 158 lbs which with my athletic frame and large bust is pretty nice. I leaned out the dorm window to throw something down to the ground and he yelled (in front of about 200 kids milling about loading cars), "hey look, there's FAT SUE". I remember that moment like it was yesterday. Funny thing is, that I ended up REALLY fat a couple years later...and just now am I approaching my goal weight. Even funnier is that my goal weight is 158, the "fat Sue" weight.

    I wonder if he knew what it would do to me if he still would have said it, although he was obviously trying to be hurtful I doubt he would feel very good if I ran into him today and reminded him of his ugly behaviour. I don't think of him often because he's just such a bad memory but I do wonder occasionally if he's grown into a miserable adult or if he's still out there perpetuating his venom. Rejection obviously didn't sit well with him.

    Best part of this story is that I had just met Scott around that day, he thought I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. We lost touch after that summer for 22 years but reconnected 3 years ago and are getting married in August. So I guess "fat Sue" wasn't so bad!
  • ShirleyKwi
    ShirleyKwi Posts: 60 Member
    Options
    you can lose weight, but he'll always be an a*hole! I work at a grocery store and people can be really cruel. Breath deep and let it go. Stay strong and keep going one foot in front of the other. you'll get there. (((hugs)))
  • KellyAlyssa84
    KellyAlyssa84 Posts: 90
    Options
    He really ment to say " we need to move her beauty outshines my ego."

    keep on shining!
  • ZiezieO
    ZiezieO Posts: 228 Member
    Options
    Be proud that you're working on it!!! YOU are changing your life. You are not someone that is overweight that isn't making the effort. So he can stick my high heel right up his bum for being a jerk because all he is doing is hurting himself.

    You can be drunk as you want, good people don't say mean things. Good people know that no one (hopefully) wants to be heavy.
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
    Options
    There are a lot of real jerks out there. You can fix fat. Too bad for him you can't fix stupid.

    Keep doing what you're doing. You'll get there. :flowerforyou:
  • abward3
    abward3 Posts: 1
    Options
    Remember karma will come back to get him.
  • woofie39
    woofie39 Posts: 1
    Options
    Thats digusting. People can be really nasty at times. Well done on your current weight loss. Keep your chin up and show that bloke you are better than him :flowerforyou:
  • Miss_dannii
    Miss_dannii Posts: 1,351 Member
    Options
    Some people are just really the scum of the earth. Absolute bully, I feel sorry for his girlfriend. God forbid she should put on a few pounds...

    I was walking into Costa Coffee the other day to meet a friend, had a new outfit on and felt good after losing 56 pounds and almost being at my goal weight, a group of teenage girls were sitting outside and I saw one of them say something and they all looked and laughed at me, made me feel sh1t!

    x
  • quickchekgal
    quickchekgal Posts: 213 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry that happened to you. Some people are just absolutely disgusting and cruel. I will never understand how people can be like that and sleep at night.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    Options
    Such an *ss! Drunk or not, that still hurts! Use it as motivation. Don't let it get to you anymore. Soon enough, he'll be eating his words. Furthermore, make sure you're doing it for you. We all support each other here whether you're 120lbs or 320 lbs! :smile:
  • o_delaisse
    o_delaisse Posts: 193 Member
    Options
    That's awful, and really depressing so many people are able to share a similar experience :( And, of course, I can too - walking down the street one day and a guy whispered in my ear "too fat" and walked on.

    Why on earth do they do it?
  • Risrisris
    Risrisris Posts: 11 Member
    Options
    I'm going to echo what Snarky_Jo said earlier in the feed:
    It's easy to say "who cares what others say about you?!" but what you must overcome is what you think of yourself. Don't let anyone in your head. You can be ruler of the universe, if you beleive it. ;)

    Now if we can all just master that skill, we'll be home free! :o)
  • NoleGirl0918
    NoleGirl0918 Posts: 213 Member
    Options
    i agree with all the other posters - it's ridiculous that people think it's okay to say ugly things about others! i'm from the south & unfortunately have to say that people down here are that way - in that they speak before they think - but i've found personally that it seems to irritate them when you give them a big smile & act like their opinion doesn't matter...because in the end it doesn't!

    Remember you are making great strides to your goal & that is what matters - doing it for yourself & no one else :wink:
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
    Options
    "Let's get out of here because that woman is fat..." WTH?? I just posted on another thread about how d@mn absurd that is!! I mean, it's like these jerks act like it's some sort of insult to them that someone is heavier. I get so mad!!

    Just remember that you are taking control of your life. Do not let people like that get to you - they aren't worth the effort of a thought!! UGHHHH!!!
  • MoveTheMountain
    MoveTheMountain Posts: 764
    Options
    I'm normally quite a strong person and don't really let anyone who says anything affect me, but on Friday, that all changed..!

    I was out with friends for a long brunch (my "cheat" meal for the month) and some random (albeit drunk) man was walking around with his girlfriend and said to her 'let's get away from here because that woman is fat".. in ear shot!!! I asked him what he said and he repeated it, looking directly at me, "what, you are really fat"... my only response was that I couldn't help it if he was an "a'hole"... but the damage was done, I was devastated, still am. I held myself together, until I got in a taxi and then bawled my eyes out for an hour until I fell asleep... how does he not know what affect this could have on someone, what if they weren't as strong as I am??

    How can anyone be that cruel..! It is clearly up to you what you think, but why would you say something so offensive to someone your walking past, whether you know them or not..!

    I used to be "less cuddly" but through a year of ups and downs and stress and tragedy, I've gained around 60 pounds... I started work on finding myself again at the beginning of June and shed 9 of them so far. My journey's only just beginning but people like that don't help... although I woke up the next morning and went for a 5km walk in searing heat - so I guess, sucks to be him (probably cuddling a toilet bowl somewhere) because what he did, made me get up the next morning to ensure I got my exercise in..! I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!

    Some people really suck - sorry that happened to you. Try to be zen that the universe will bring him what's coming to him. I know it's hard, but just let it go. Unfortunately there are cruel people in the world, but they're the weak ones.
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
    Options
    Don't let those ppl get to you. They OBVIOUSLY have issues. I can't stand it when ppl do stupid stuff like that. I'm sorry that it happened. Unfortunately it happens all too often. Karma will come around. You are amazing :)

Categories