So sad with what I saw today I wanted to cry

tmauck4472
tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
I was picking my son up from summer school today and I saw this woman walking (yea for her, right?). She had to be 400 lbs or better and you could see she was struggling with walking. She had that gait that you know is her struggling to walk, I know cause I've been there. I wanted to cry for her, for me, for everyone who's been there or is there now. I am so excited for where I am right now. There are so many out there saying your eating to low , your going to fail, you can't live on that, your heading toward an eating disorder...I say to you, I am fine, I have goal and I will reach it, in spite of you, but maybe just maybe because of you. I never want to go back to that person struggling to lose weight, struggling to walk down the street.
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Replies

  • TadaGanIarracht
    TadaGanIarracht Posts: 2,615 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    Obesity is a thief of life and its fullness.

    Anyone making consistent efforts to change and to achieve better health and happiness is doing a great thing for themselves. :)
  • Lovely135
    Lovely135 Posts: 161
    I can relate to that as you are already know. You are the one I talk to sometimes when those people are making me second guest my hard work which is working and I am fine. As for that woman, I have been there back and forth. This time I am leaving this behind for good. Just so you know If I have not yet told you that, you are my biggest inspiration on this journey. Thanks for being my friend.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    I can relate to that as you are already know. You are the one I talk to sometimes when those people are making me second guest my hard work which is working and I am fine. As for that woman, I have been there back and forth. This time I am leaving this behind for good. Just so you know If I have not yet told you that, you are my biggest inspiration on this journey. Thanks for being my friend.

    Awe..Made me cry again, but happy tears. With the exception of a few people and I thank God everyday they are NOT friends of mine, this site is beyond belief with such strong support. We have to be here for each other. This is how we keep it off, we support each other, we are there when they need us without question. Encourage not discourage!!!!

    I really love you guys :)
  • aochoa123
    aochoa123 Posts: 299 Member
    at one time I was that woman. I too never want to go back.
  • AprilRenewed
    AprilRenewed Posts: 691 Member
    I always thinks a "Yay! Go you! You can do it!" when I see someone like that giving it a shot, doing his/her best to do what's right for his/her body. It IS sad, but hopefully, this person you saw will stick with it, keep pushing, and slowly but surely find her way.

    There's a woman I work with, and I cringe every time she comes in. She can't walk from her car to her desk without losing her breath. She says she does what she can.

    *shrug*

    I hope she does, for her own sake.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    You eat 700 calories a day... I am sad for you too. You say this site is for support, that is true, but support doesn't mean "I will encourage you to keep doing what you're doing even if it's unhealthy".

    I need to state for the record that you are posting publicly about eating 700 calories a day, I didn't dig for this information. You're not exactly keeping it private, for someone who is upset at all the negative feedback she's receiving.
  • krisiepoo
    krisiepoo Posts: 710 Member
    I was picking my son up from summer school today and I saw this woman walking (yea for her, right?). She had to be 400 lbs or better and you could see she was struggling with walking. She had that gait that you know is her struggling to walk, I know cause I've been there. I wanted to cry for her, for me, for everyone who's been there or is there now. I am so excited for where I am right now. There are so many out there saying your eating to low , your going to fail, you can't live on that, your heading toward an eating disorder...I say to you, I am fine, I have goal and I will reach it, in spite of you, but maybe just maybe because of you. I never want to go back to that person struggling to lose weight, struggling to walk down the street.

    Instead of being sad, you should be rejoicing that's she's chosen to make a change in her life!! She's walking which is more than many others!!
  • MrsSexton2013
    MrsSexton2013 Posts: 98 Member
    It looks like we have a new member at our gym, she's really really large.. but bless her heart, I've seen her two days last week, and she was on the treadmill for a good 30 minutes. Was she walking fast? no. But she was walking. She got off of that, and moved on to the Arc.. which is not an easy piece of equipment to use.. it took me a few months to get accustomed it. She got on it, and she didnt move fast, but she MOVED. I wanted to hug her and tell her way to go, but I never know if that's something that might offend or hurt someone's feelings.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    The ironic thing is that I feel the same way about what you are doing. You make think you are doing something good, but your food diary makes me want to cry.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    :heart: :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • casperuk
    casperuk Posts: 195 Member
    It looks like we have a new member at our gym, she's really really large.. but bless her heart, I've seen her two days last week, and she was on the treadmill for a good 30 minutes. Was she walking fast? no. But she was walking. She got off of that, and moved on to the Arc.. which is not an easy piece of equipment to use.. it took me a few months to get accustomed it. She got on it, and she didnt move fast, but she MOVED. I wanted to hug her and tell her way to go, but I never know if that's something that might offend or hurt someone's feelings.

    It wouldnt. If I saw someone trying to do something and they were struggling but still going I would go and give them a hug. I am fairly sure very few people would take offence.

    They need to know someone has noticed they are trying and is glad for them.

    Imagine the lift it would give you if someone came up and was genuinely pleased for you, the encouragement you'd get if a stranger just said hey, I know what you are going through and I am proud of you.
  • moxiecowgirl
    moxiecowgirl Posts: 291 Member
    I was just talking to my husband about this last night! We went to pick my daughter up at work (she works in a grocery store), and as we sat waiting for her in the parking lot, I saw a woman who was clearly well over 400 lbs sitting on a bench outside. When her husband drove up to the curb to pick her up, she had obvious trouble getting up off the bench, and couldn't get into the car without help. My heart just broke for her, and for me, knowing I wasn't far from that when I started this long, strange trip. I wasn't quite as heavy, but my mobility was definitely starting to be affected. I just wanted to go up to her and give her a big hug and say "I was once where you are...there IS a way out." :cry:
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    You eat 700 calories a day... I am sad for you too. You say this site is for support, that is true, but support doesn't mean "I will encourage you to keep doing what you're doing even if it's unhealthy".

    I need to state for the record that you are posting publicly about eating 700 calories a day, I didn't dig for this information. You're not exactly keeping it private, for someone who is upset at all the negative feedback she's receiving.
    ^^^^^^^^^
    THIS -- If we do not feed our bodies, poor health will result.
    I would suggest we focus less on who waddles by and more on getting our own house in order.
    I feel for others who suffer in obesity, and I also save some tears for myself where I miss the boat.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    Obese people can maintain a bigger calorie deficit for the rest of us. I would hope that it is being medically supervised, however. Also, eating more would help ease the transition to a smaller calorie deficit (and eventually maintenance) as you reach a healthier weight. Plus more food generally means more nutrients, vitamins, etc.
  • MrsCassieThreatt
    MrsCassieThreatt Posts: 42 Member
    I was that 380 pound woman on an eliptical for 1 minute. The people in the gym ignored me for the most part but after i saw some serious progress and I lost some serious weight everyone got a lot friendlier. Its intimidating and I sure would have liked it a lot more if someone had given me a "attaboy" and "you are doing fantastic!" when I was just starting out. Most people have to hire a trainer to hear that. So next time...i'd say something encouraging...she'll probably get even that more motivated!

    As for that 400 pounder shufflin down the street...at least she's shufflin.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    eating 700 cals a day will cause you to lose weight but so will eating zero cals a day. both are horribly unhealthy.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!

    *Get's on my knees and thanks God for his miracle*

    With friends like this who needs enemies
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    The ironic thing is that I feel the same way about what you are doing. You make think you are doing something good, but your food diary makes me want to cry.

    so true. No one should be consistently getting only 700-900 calories a day
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    As a middle aged woman, do you really think sacrificing lean mass you could preserve on a more rational diet is a great idea?
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!

    *Get's on my knees and thanks God for his miracle*

    With friends like this who needs enemies
    True friends tell the truth - even when it is difficult to accept.
    The people I suspect greatly are those fast to agree to anything I say or do.
    Life in the echo chamber might be more convenient and pleasant but wholly unproductive.
    I wish you well with your goals.....
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!

    *Get's on my knees and thanks God for his miracle*

    With friends like this who needs enemies

    God made your body a temple and would like you to treat it properly. It's rather hypocritical to thank God for his miracle, yet abuse the body that he gave you. In my opinion.
  • tryinghard71
    tryinghard71 Posts: 593
    I am the opposite. Instead of being sad I say GOOD FOR THEM! Then I say a little prayer for them on their journey and hope for their success.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!

    You said that to me the other day, and unless I get hit by a truck I will be glad to prove you wrong. Besides, you're using a blanket number "1200 calories" for everyone under all circumstances, and if you had read anything I said to you or on my profile you'd know it doesn't apply to me right now...


    and when I post my success story at that time I'll probably be eating right around 1200-2200 depending on a number of factors. I'm getting out of morbid obesity which is more dangerous than not having that magic number(1200) for a few months.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    You have a goal and you'll reach it.
    Then you'll put it all back on.
    Plus a bit more.
    Why?
    Because there's just no way in hell you'll be able to eat that little sustainably for the rest of your life.
    I'll love it if you prove me wrong.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    You eat 700 calories a day... I am sad for you too. You say this site is for support, that is true, but support doesn't mean "I will encourage you to keep doing what you're doing even if it's unhealthy".

    I need to state for the record that you are posting publicly about eating 700 calories a day, I didn't dig for this information. You're not exactly keeping it private, for someone who is upset at all the negative feedback she's receiving.
    ^^^^^^^^^
    THIS -- If we do not feed our bodies, poor health will result.
    I would suggest we focus less on who waddles by and more on getting our own house in order.
    I feel for others who suffer in obesity, and I also save some tears for myself where I miss the boat.

    I happen to be proud as hell for what I'm doing for ME. Do I encourage others, no , it may not be for them. But if someone feels this is what they need to do for them then it's okay with me. We all have our own way of changing for the better. I don't go snooping in others diary's just so I can belittle them because of the choices they make. It's non of my business. If they want me to look and see what they are having they will invite me to see it. And if you've seen my posts then you also know that I know this is NOT something I plan on doing forever, the low cal thing, but it will continue it as long as I see fit. Your you know better than anyone else attitude frankly stinks up the room with distaine and disgust.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!

    You said that to me the other day, and unless I get hit by a truck I will be glad to prove you wrong. Besides, you're using a blanket number "1200 calories" for everyone under all circumstances, and if you had read anything I said to you or on my profile you'd know it doesn't apply to me right now...


    and when I post my success story at that time I'll probably be eating right around 1200-2200 depending on a number of factors. I'm getting out of morbid obesity which is more dangerous than not having that magic number(1200) for a few months.
    You're 25. Don't make excuses. Eat well, move your butt. You don't need to deprive yourself for this to work because you're young enough to fix it.

    Eating too little leads you into a vicious cycle of needing to eat less and less in order to lose weight. Eventually you arrive at an Eating Disorder of some kind.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    That rips my heart out as well....how can people do that to themselves?
    So be it....:ohwell:
    And anybody here not eating at least 1200 calories per day in addition to exercise calories will end up just like that.
    We can lose weight on the front end just to gain it all back.
    COUNT ME OUT!

    You said that to me the other day, and unless I get hit by a truck I will be glad to prove you wrong. Besides, you're using a blanket number "1200 calories" for everyone under all circumstances, and if you had read anything I said to you or on my profile you'd know it doesn't apply to me right now...


    and when I post my success story at that time I'll probably be eating right around 1200-2200 depending on a number of factors. I'm getting out of morbid obesity which is more dangerous than not having that magic number(1200) for a few months.
    That's the number MFP sets - not me or anybody here.
    Take it up with those who created and administer this site.

    Starvation diets don't work.
    Why?
    Because if your calorie deficit is too great, you can easily suffer from
    loss of muscle mass (slows down your metabolism) and impaired general progress.
    You have to find what is right for you but you also need to remember that your body
    is a machine and without the right type and amount of fuel there could be problems
    either with loss of muscle, loss of energy, less weight loss/plateaus, etc.

    Stick with the MFP recommendations.
    Here's a great group right here on MFP:
    Eat More To Weigh Less
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less

    Join up and connect with other for support.
    Good Luck
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    I was in the gym in feb when i noticed a woman who was about a size 20. where I used to be a few years back. I went up to her and said Im so proud of you for taking back your life! I told her about mfp, sometimes she is on here sometimes not, but I want to give people hope that they can do this the right way. I have told multiple friends about this site. my husband found it for me and eventually he joined also! I want everyone to be healthy, so they can be around for their families! so next time think, hey maybe she needs the encouragement to keep going! it takes me a lot to put it out there and tell people what I am doing. most of them are supportive and see how great of results I am getting that they want to hear about it. and I am happy to explain.