Is it rude...

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  • wyze
    wyze Posts: 248
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    Talk to the bride privately and explain why you cannot attend. It is a legit reason, besides i think the most important day is the wedding which you will be attending. Talk to the bride and plan to see your parents.

    I have never heard of wedding gifts opening ceremony. Really odd and i'd imagine boring.
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
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    The wedding is this weekend & they just informed you? In that case I would politely decline. Something like.....
    "I'd love to make it but I promised I would spend the day with my family. I really wish I would have known sooner about your party. My family planned a special gathering knowing I was in town. I am so sorry, I can't attend your party"
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    A wedding gift opening party? What? Sounds like an odd tradition. If i had one of those, it would have been a pretty quick party.. I received all cards and one knife set.

    I know. I would think the bride and groom would be busy the day after the wedding.

    I don't think it's common everywhere. I had never heard of it until I moved here (NE Wisconsin). Personally I didn't want one, because as others have said...it's a bit uncomfortable, but people around here expect it.

    Honestly, not everyone from our wedding party came to our's and I wasn't offended. I had too many other people to try to entertain and visit with!
  • Jessamine
    Jessamine Posts: 226 Member
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    I was in my sister's wedding a few months ago. I was cleaning up after the reception when they invited me to the gift opening party the next day. I had never heard of such a thing and it made me feel really uncomfortable. I did not feel obligated to go since I didn't know about it in advance and I lived far away.

    I think the idea of a gift opening party is ridiculous and rude. I don't think *anyone* should be obligated to attend.
  • Sox90716
    Sox90716 Posts: 976 Member
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    Family comes first. Your friend will understand. Good luck.
  • MamaKeeks
    MamaKeeks Posts: 234
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    The gift opening party is rather old school... it used to be a tea/brunch, and a way for brides to say thank you in person for the gifts they receive, and used to be very common, but has fallen out of tradition.

    Lots of brides still have a brunch the following morning, but the gift opening is not a part, largely due to fewer toasters and more cash and cards I would guess! lol

    Regardless... advice still stands... talk to your friend. She may not at all care if you're there (she probably would rather not be there herself!)

    Good luck!
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    Wedding gift opening party? wtf!! Sod the party, I'd be looking for new friends, ones who didn't try to take all your time & energy by dragging their bloody wedding crap on for so long.

    What a pointless exercise & totally tacky. What do they do? Open the gift, lift it up for every one to ohh & ahh over & then move on the the next one. How Jersey shore of them! bleurgh.
  • lizw123
    lizw123 Posts: 20 Member
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    I've never HEARD of a "gift opening party" and hope that's not a new tradition we will see adopted here in the UK. Weddings are over-fussy as it is, without even more self-indulgent frills. How awful to be expected to watch a couple open their wedding gifts! Where will it all end, I wonder?

    In your shoes, I would explain very nicely to the bride that you didn't realise this would be happening and have already made arrangements for that day with family, which you don't feel able to change, especially due to your beloved grandparents being so elderly and you don't want to disappoint them etc. I am sure she will undersand if she is a nice person.
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
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    This is something that should have been brought to your attention well in advance of the wedding weekend. Like, when she asked you to be in the wedding would have been a good time. If she's springing this on you last minute and knows you're traveling long distance, she should understand that you can't make it. That being said, I'd definitely try to talk to her about it privately ASAP.
  • stylistchik
    stylistchik Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I had never heard of this either, we didn't have one. I just got an email about it yesterday. I didn't even get her a gift. I got her a bridal shower gift but not a wedding gift. I always thought being in the wedding party WAS my gift, especially since it cost >$1,000 to do it. :noway: When she asked me she hadn't picked out anything so there was no price range, and I love her to pieces so of course I'd do it anyway. But spending my last day home for the year watching her open presents from people don't know doesn't sound necessary.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    wedding gift opening lunch? Where do they do that at LOL. Never heard of such a thing, and I've been to plenty of weddings. I would just gently decline.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I had never heard of this either, we didn't have one. I just got an email about it yesterday. I didn't even get her a gift. I got her a bridal shower gift but not a wedding gift. I always thought being in the wedding party WAS my gift, especially since it cost >$1,000 to do it. :noway: When she asked me she hadn't picked out anything so there was no price range, and I love her to pieces so of course I'd do it anyway. But spending my last day home for the year watching her open presents from people don't know doesn't sound necessary.

    Like I said, just talk to her about it. I'm sure she will be understanding.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    Not rude at all. Not even a little bit.
  • lizw123
    lizw123 Posts: 20 Member
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    If you didn't see your family and something tragic happened before seeing them again, you'd be upset. If you miss the bride opening a new bread maker and something tragic happened to the bread maker before seeing it again, I really don't think you'd care.

    Breadmakers are inherently tragic in that they are silly and pointless! What's wrong with a bowl, a wooden spoon and a good old-fashioned oven??
  • nnapieralski
    nnapieralski Posts: 132 Member
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    If you're not the one opening the presents.....you don't need to be there. The wedding was the celebration....a "watch me open presents" party seems like a grasp for even more attention.
  • stylistchik
    stylistchik Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I agree with the previous posters that said you should talk openly to your friend (the bride) explaining the situation and if she doesn't understand....can anyone say bridezilla?? I hope she understands. Friends come and go FAMILY IS FOREVER.

    I thought this was kind of cute because we've been friends for 22 years which is what makes it pretty special. We never even went to the same school. We met in a mommy and me preschool class and grew up together.
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    No! It's not rude at all. Since you JUST found out, you can let the bride know that you already made plans for the whole day with your family. You'd hate to break them because everyone is looking forward to that day.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    No, send your regrets, wish them well, and forget about it.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    a what
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
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    A WHAT

    It that not rude in the first place to have one of those? I am going to open all your presents in front of everyone else to make sure you feel embarassed or big headed or whatever the case maybe

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