Is it rude...
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I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....
(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)
AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!
TRADITION!!!!
one more time
TRADTION
A tradition that lots of people here have never heard of, so how about you calm down.
Lots of terrible things were traditions - hanging the sheets from the wedding night outside to prove the bride was a virgin, comes to mind. Tradition does not equal good.
So a tradition that my family celebrates and has since I can remember is "bad" just because some people have not heard of it? And I can't defend it? I can clearly see why opening presents can be such a horrible tradition one that clearly should be stopped immediately!!!
Sure you can defend it -- but you need reasons aside from "It's tradition!" if you want to be taken seriously. The fact of the matter is, subjecting people who just spent the entire day before (and presumably other days along the way -- bridal shower, etc.) making sure your wedding was as perfect as it could be -- to another event based around YOU and your wedding, comes off as selfish to a lot of people.
My sister opened her gifts and we ate left overs the day after her wedding. But it wasn't a formal "thing" anyone was required to attend. She just said "Hey, if you want to..." but it was very clear there was no expectation of attendance from the beginning. Do you know who came? Her family -- the groom's family. Most of the wedding party moved on with their lives.0 -
Good grief, people. If you don't like the "gift opening" party, then don't agree to be in someone's wedding party who is having one. Why do YOU care if someone else has one?
You are totally ignoring the fact that this additional wedding event was just added to the wedding. After probably a year of planning and no mention of this is a little bit off putting and because of that I don't think that it has anything to do with having agreed to be in someone's wedding. If the OP knew about this for months I would feel totally differenly, but since it was sprung on her I don't think she is required to go. Should she respectfully talk to the bride about this, absolutely, should she feel obligated to go, no.0 -
My sister and brother in law had a wedding gift party the day after the wedding and it was optional. I don't think it would be rude. You've already spend 2 days of your life on these people.0
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Good grief, people. If you don't like the "gift opening" party, then don't agree to be in someone's wedding party who is having one. Why do YOU care if someone else has one?
The point was -- OP's bride decided to have one AFTER she agreed to be a bride's maid.0 -
I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....
(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)
AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!
TRADITION!!!!
one more time
TRADTION
A tradition that lots of people here have never heard of, so how about you calm down.
Lots of terrible things were traditions - hanging the sheets from the wedding night outside to prove the bride was a virgin, comes to mind. Tradition does not equal good.
So a tradition that my family celebrates and has since I can remember is "bad" just because some people have not heard of it? And I can't defend it? I can clearly see why opening presents can be such a horrible tradition one that clearly should be stopped immediately!!!
Sure you can defend it -- but you need reasons aside from "It's tradition!" if you want to be taken seriously. The fact of the matter is, subjecting people who just spent the entire day before (and presumably other days along the way -- bridal shower, etc.) making sure your wedding was as perfect as it could be -- to another event based around YOU and your wedding, comes off as selfish to a lot of people.
My sister opened her gifts and we ate left overs the day after her wedding. But it wasn't a formal "thing" anyone was required to attend. She just said "Hey, if you want to..." but it was very clear there was no expectation of attendance from the beginning. Do you know who came? Her family -- the groom's family. Most of the wedding party moved on with their lives.
No one ever said this was something you are REQUIRED to attend. And it's not a formal thing. How about finding out a little more information about the actual event before you attack it??0 -
Not rude at all - some people like to "see" the person get the gifts you got them - but I would guess that will be a pretty small group of family and best friends maybe. To be honest - when I got married - I couldn't remember who was at what - its such a whirlwind that unless you are their best friend or they have specifically asked you personally to come - I doubt they will care!! They should feel honored you made it all that way for the wedding in the first place IMO!!!
Agree0 -
I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....
(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)
AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!
TRADITION!!!!
one more time
TRADTION
A tradition that lots of people here have never heard of, so how about you calm down.
Lots of terrible things were traditions - hanging the sheets from the wedding night outside to prove the bride was a virgin, comes to mind. Tradition does not equal good.
So a tradition that my family celebrates and has since I can remember is "bad" just because some people have not heard of it? And I can't defend it? I can clearly see why opening presents can be such a horrible tradition one that clearly should be stopped immediately!!!
Sure you can defend it -- but you need reasons aside from "It's tradition!" if you want to be taken seriously. The fact of the matter is, subjecting people who just spent the entire day before (and presumably other days along the way -- bridal shower, etc.) making sure your wedding was as perfect as it could be -- to another event based around YOU and your wedding, comes off as selfish to a lot of people.
My sister opened her gifts and we ate left overs the day after her wedding. But it wasn't a formal "thing" anyone was required to attend. She just said "Hey, if you want to..." but it was very clear there was no expectation of attendance from the beginning. Do you know who came? Her family -- the groom's family. Most of the wedding party moved on with their lives.
No body is REQUIRED to go to a gift opening...it is an open house type thing...nobody is subjected to anything...the people who are there go because they want to be there.0 -
After my daughter's wedding we did the same thing. We had a lovely brunch with Mimosas, etc. and it was nice. She invited family and her friends who were in the wedding party.However, iIt ended up being awkward because so many guests gave cash and some gave a lot, some gave a little. Not that she cared what they gave but she felt embarrassed telling the amounts aloud so they could be written down for future thank yous. She ended up just handing me the cards and that worked but we still had that awful awkward moment whenever she opened a card. Everyone would get quiet. lol
This^ is exactly why it seems awkward to me. Who wants everyone to know how much or how little they were able to give someone, even if it may be a lot for that person to give, and why should others care and have to be subjected to that? A bridal shower is one thing, but that is not usually where the cash might be offered.
To the OP, I would definitely talk to your friend about spending time with your family. That seems more important to me, especially since you have already given up so much of your time to the bride for the weekend anyway, surely she would understand.0 -
After my daughter's wedding we did the same thing. We had a lovely brunch with Mimosas, etc. and it was nice. She invited family and her friends who were in the wedding party.However, iIt ended up being awkward because so many guests gave cash and some gave a lot, some gave a little. Not that she cared what they gave but she felt embarrassed telling the amounts aloud so they could be written down for future thank yous. She ended up just handing me the cards and that worked but we still had that awful awkward moment whenever she opened a card. Everyone would get quiet. lol
This^ is exactly why it seems awkward to me. Who wants everyone to know how much or how little they were able to give someone, even if it may be a lot for that person to give, and why should others care and have to be subjected to that? A bridal shower is one thing, but that is not usually where the cash might be offered.
To the OP, I would definitely talk to your friend about spending time with your family. That seems more important to me, especially since you have already given up so much of your time to the bride for the weekend anyway, surely she would understand.
And this is exactly why my husband and I only opened the wrapped gifts. The cards stayed in the card box until we were alone and could open them by ourselves. Most people assume that if there's a card, there's money or a gift card (at least around here), so why bother opening them in front of people?0 -
I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....
(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)
AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!
TRADITION!!!!
one more time
TRADTION
A tradition that lots of people here have never heard of, so how about you calm down.
Lots of terrible things were traditions - hanging the sheets from the wedding night outside to prove the bride was a virgin, comes to mind. Tradition does not equal good.
So a tradition that my family celebrates and has since I can remember is "bad" just because some people have not heard of it? And I can't defend it? I can clearly see why opening presents can be such a horrible tradition one that clearly should be stopped immediately!!!
Sure you can defend it -- but you need reasons aside from "It's tradition!" if you want to be taken seriously. The fact of the matter is, subjecting people who just spent the entire day before (and presumably other days along the way -- bridal shower, etc.) making sure your wedding was as perfect as it could be -- to another event based around YOU and your wedding, comes off as selfish to a lot of people.
My sister opened her gifts and we ate left overs the day after her wedding. But it wasn't a formal "thing" anyone was required to attend. She just said "Hey, if you want to..." but it was very clear there was no expectation of attendance from the beginning. Do you know who came? Her family -- the groom's family. Most of the wedding party moved on with their lives.
No one ever said this was something you are REQUIRED to attend. And it's not a formal thing. How about finding out a little more information about the actual event before you attack it??
I am not attacking the tradition itself -- I am attacking brides and grooms who spring this little event on bridal party members and don't make it clear that it is optional and not formal -- which, if you bothered reading ALL the comments, you would know is the situation with the OP. How about you try reading what you're commenting on, eh?0 -
Ahhhh....well, then I agree with you.the fact that this additional wedding event was just added to the wedding. After probably a year of planning and no mention of this is a little bit off putting and because of that I don't think that it has anything to do with having agreed to be in someone's wedding. If the OP knew about this for months I would feel totally differenly, but since it was sprung on her I don't think she is required to go. Should she respectfully talk to the bride about this, absolutely, should she feel obligated to go, no.0 -
I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....
(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)
AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!
TRADITION!!!!
one more time
TRADTION
A tradition that lots of people here have never heard of, so how about you calm down.
Lots of terrible things were traditions - hanging the sheets from the wedding night outside to prove the bride was a virgin, comes to mind. Tradition does not equal good.
So a tradition that my family celebrates and has since I can remember is "bad" just because some people have not heard of it? And I can't defend it? I can clearly see why opening presents can be such a horrible tradition one that clearly should be stopped immediately!!!
Sure you can defend it -- but you need reasons aside from "It's tradition!" if you want to be taken seriously. The fact of the matter is, subjecting people who just spent the entire day before (and presumably other days along the way -- bridal shower, etc.) making sure your wedding was as perfect as it could be -- to another event based around YOU and your wedding, comes off as selfish to a lot of people.
My sister opened her gifts and we ate left overs the day after her wedding. But it wasn't a formal "thing" anyone was required to attend. She just said "Hey, if you want to..." but it was very clear there was no expectation of attendance from the beginning. Do you know who came? Her family -- the groom's family. Most of the wedding party moved on with their lives.
No one ever said this was something you are REQUIRED to attend. And it's not a formal thing. How about finding out a little more information about the actual event before you attack it??
I am not attacking the tradition itself -- I am attacking brides and grooms who spring this little event on bridal party members and don't make it clear that it is optional and not formal -- which, if you bothered reading ALL the comments, you would know is the situation with the OP. How about you try reading what you're commenting on, eh?
I have read every single post on this thread. And yes...you and everyone else are attacking the event itself by calling it selfish, ostentacious, rude, self-indulgent, etc.
I don't agree with springing it on the bridesmaid last minute. However, if she's from there (as I assume she is since she called it "Home") and it's a tradition/custom from that area (which I'm also assuming it is since she's heard of it and knows what it is), she should have expected it to be happening. And as part of the wedding party, should have expected to have to go to it.0 -
I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....
(and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)
AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!
TRADITION!!!!
one more time
TRADTION
A tradition that lots of people here have never heard of, so how about you calm down.
Lots of terrible things were traditions - hanging the sheets from the wedding night outside to prove the bride was a virgin, comes to mind. Tradition does not equal good.
So a tradition that my family celebrates and has since I can remember is "bad" just because some people have not heard of it? And I can't defend it? I can clearly see why opening presents can be such a horrible tradition one that clearly should be stopped immediately!!!
Sure you can defend it -- but you need reasons aside from "It's tradition!" if you want to be taken seriously. The fact of the matter is, subjecting people who just spent the entire day before (and presumably other days along the way -- bridal shower, etc.) making sure your wedding was as perfect as it could be -- to another event based around YOU and your wedding, comes off as selfish to a lot of people.
My sister opened her gifts and we ate left overs the day after her wedding. But it wasn't a formal "thing" anyone was required to attend. She just said "Hey, if you want to..." but it was very clear there was no expectation of attendance from the beginning. Do you know who came? Her family -- the groom's family. Most of the wedding party moved on with their lives.
No one ever said this was something you are REQUIRED to attend. And it's not a formal thing. How about finding out a little more information about the actual event before you attack it??
I am not attacking the tradition itself -- I am attacking brides and grooms who spring this little event on bridal party members and don't make it clear that it is optional and not formal -- which, if you bothered reading ALL the comments, you would know is the situation with the OP. How about you try reading what you're commenting on, eh?
I did read the whole thing, but there were some people who jumped all over saying how it was selfish and ignorant and I am just trying to defend the "tradition" (ya I said it again)
so here to make you happy...
to the OP I don't think you are required to go, let her know and let her know you want to spend time with your family and she will most likely understand...0 -
This was actually made clear in the original post.
Ahhhh....well, then I agree with you.the fact that this additional wedding event was just added to the wedding. After probably a year of planning and no mention of this is a little bit off putting and because of that I don't think that it has anything to do with having agreed to be in someone's wedding. If the OP knew about this for months I would feel totally differenly, but since it was sprung on her I don't think she is required to go. Should she respectfully talk to the bride about this, absolutely, should she feel obligated to go, no.0 -
I'd explain to them that you'd like to spend that last day with your family and be done with it. If they are really your friends, they will understand.0
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I'd say if you are in the wedding, you are close enough to the bride to explain. Just tell her that you are glad you got to spend two days with her for her big day, but you will have to sit out Sunday to hang with your family. Otherwise, just go for a short time and leave early.
If she is your friend she will understand.
Have a good time!0 -
Not everyone uses every tradition just because they exist... there would have been no reason to expect that it would happen, if it hadn't been mentioned.I don't agree with springing it on the bridesmaid last minute. However, if she's from there (as I assume she is since she called it "Home") and it's a tradition/custom from that area (which I'm also assuming it is since she's heard of it and knows what it is), she should have expected it to be happening. And as part of the wedding party, should have expected to have to go to it.
But more importantly, she clearly said she's never heard of this tradition, so how on earth would she expect it?0 -
Your point? So, I missed it and retracted part of my initial statement. Move along...This was actually made clear in the original post.0 -
I've never heard of this and hope it's not a common "tradition". I wouldn't attend.
IMO, not rude, at all. Go home to your family.
Agree! I never heard of this "tradition," and IMO your family, specially elderly grandparents, should come firsts. If your friend doesn't understand tell her to go a suck a lollipop.0 -
Politely decline and say you want to spend the day with your family since you are leaving Monday to go back home and do not know when you will be able to come back again.0
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