Is it rude...

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  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    It doesn't matter that you've never heard of it before. If the bride has the whole weekend planned, and you knew about it when you agreed to be in the wedding party, then it's rude not to show up. You could attend for a while and then leave after an hour to see your family, but I really think you should attend.

    She had nothing planned when I agreed to be her bridesmaid.

    Exactly. So you made other plans. You shouldn't feel obligated to break them for a last minute event.
  • tracy1031
    tracy1031 Posts: 36
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    IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol.

    I'd have to agree. I've never even heard of a "gift opening party". All the other wedding crap is alright, but this just seems materialistic and ostentatious.
  • MindyBlack
    MindyBlack Posts: 954 Member
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    aaaah, middle america. this is why i like the coasts. you give gifts for the bridal shower, and money at the wedding. no silly "wedding gift opening party."

    I have lived in the midwest my entire life and have never heard of such a thing.

    Pesonally I agree with another poster who said it is rude to invite you to a party to make you watch them open gifts. What a narcissistic snooze fest.
    Unfortunately, you are probably stuck going since this is part of the wedding event and you are in the wedding party. Sorry.:frown:
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
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    IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol. I'm just do not into wedding crap. Just tell them you'd like to spend that day with your family.

    I agree that asking people to watch you open gits is rude. I've never even heard of anyone doing this before either.
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
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    sounds like there are some jelous people out there....

    In most cases having a gift opening is not rude!!! Couple who do have one it is out of tradition not selfishness...sheesh

    that being said it is also usually very casual and nobody gives a *kitten* who comes and who doesn't...
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Actually the day after luncheon (or breakfast) to watch the bride and groom open gifts is quite common from where I come from. It's really not about the gifts though...i think that was cooked up so that this event could be lumped into "wedding festivities" (gotta have a reason you know?)

    anyways, it's really a (usually in my area anyways) catered affair at the reception hall where the wedding was, it's an opportunity for the bride and groom to buy everyone breakfast (especially travellers) and have that last visit before everyone goes back to where they came from....to be honest in the million of these events I have been too, I have only seen two couples actually open gifts, the time is mostly spent going from table to table visiting with people who you didn't get to really say hi to at the crazy day known as your wedding...eat a little brekkie and laugh at the still tired kids and still hungover young adults....

    It's a great time to get together and visit...but that's really the purpose (from where I come from) so if you asked someone if you could visit the family instead, the answer would more than likely be sure go ahead.....

    ask her...no harm, no foul...if she's your friend, she A) knows how often you get home to see people and B) knows how important family is to you...so she'll say yes.

    Lauren
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Honestly, I've never even heard of a wedding gift opening party, and find it a little weird.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    sounds like there are some jelous people out there....

    In most cases having a gift opening is not rude!!! Couple who do have one it is out of tradition not selfishness...sheesh

    that being said it is also usually very casual and nobody gives a *kitten* who comes and who doesn't...

    EXACTLY!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    sounds like there are some jelous people out there....

    In most cases having a gift opening is not rude!!! Couple who do have one it is out of tradition not selfishness...sheesh

    that being said it is also usually very casual and nobody gives a *kitten* who comes and who doesn't...
    Oh yes, every time someone disagrees with something it's because they are jealous.
  • dida0721
    dida0721 Posts: 107 Member
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    if you are a part of the wedding party, i think you should go.
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    IMO - asking people to watch you open gifts is rude. Lol.

    I'd have to agree. I've never even heard of a "gift opening party". All the other wedding crap is alright, but this just seems materialistic and ostentatious.

    Probably something a 'wedding planner' dreamed up in order to soak the families for more money. I don't recall anything in the bible about a marriage/wedding ceremony requiring gifts and a party to celebrate their opening.
  • RejoicingL
    RejoicingL Posts: 95 Member
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    I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....

    (and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)

    AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?
  • UticaBoy51
    UticaBoy51 Posts: 344 Member
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    Gift opening party??? People do this? Good lord, I love woman but I just don't get some of the things you do.
  • cutchro
    cutchro Posts: 396 Member
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    Really... enough partying already! After the wedding they should be on their honeymoon with each other alone! :drinker: My brother actually had gift openers at his reception... they opened the gifts and made a list of who gave what and attached the card to the gift.

    I actually went to the gift opening luncheon when I was Matron of Honor for a friend but I lived close by. I can tell you if I traveled to it she would have understood my not being there!
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....

    Please tell me what is selfish about it? Do you know what happens at one?
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
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    sounds like there are some jealous people out there....

    In most cases having a gift opening is not rude!!! Couple who do have one it is out of tradition not selfishness...sheesh

    that being said it is also usually very casual and nobody gives a *kitten* who comes and who doesn't...
    Oh yes, every time someone disagrees with something it's because they are jealous.

    just saying it "SOUNDS" like people are jealous, can't handle watching others open gifts...could care less if you agree or not
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Where I'm from the gift opening is part of the reception. The long, boring, awkward part where the bride and groom have to show the perfect touch of enthusiasm for every gift... Yay! More tea towels!!!
    We skipped that part because I hate the tradition, and we opened them in our home instead.

    It sounds like you received the invite after they made the wedding plans and you agreed to be a bridesmaid. Say that you wish you could attend, but you already made plans for Sunday with your family. If she knows the circumstances and she's any kind of compassionate friend, she will understand and not get upset.
  • amsohs85
    amsohs85 Posts: 166
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    Yes there are obligations to be fulfilled when you are a part of the wedding party. But you know you're friend well enough to know whether she will think you are being rude by missing out on the gift openings. This must be a new custom because i've never heard of it before. Typically the presents are sent prior to or brought the day of the wedding and opened later by the couple. I know some brides have bridal showers before the wedding date and some gifts are recieved there. My husbands nephew just got married and there was 3 bridal showers. One thrown by the brides church, one by a friend and one by her grandmother. No one on my husbands side was invited to the any of them other then the mother of the groom and her daughter in law (grooms brothers wife). Needless to say my husbands sister in law and i were a bit put off by this and the excuse given was that the brides family didnt know us and didnt have our info to send an invitation. Apparently they didnt ask the bride for a list of invitees. My husband was a groomsman and you would think they would have invited the wives of of the groomsmen that were not bridesmaids. Guess not...

    To be honest the wedding thing is becoming a bit ridiculous. It seems like instead of a one day event to celebrate with family and friends, some are turning it into an all out "Olympic event"! And I'm sorry to sounded jaded but I think it has more to do with trying to out do others or live up to TV's wedding reality show standards than the magnitude of their love. When people have a maid of honor, a best man, 6 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen, 3 flower girls, a ring bearer, their dogs/cats etc...in their wedding party is it because they want all these participants to share in an important moment? Or are they trying to impress someone. When a bride asks you to shell out $800 dollars (or more) for a dress, pay for travel and lodging, pay for additional required expenses and maybe miss out on income from work days missed is it because you are a dear friend/close family member she wants to be there for her, or is it because she's trying to meet the required wedding party quota? The size and expense of a wedding does not determine the happiness and longevity of the marriage...and from what i've seen in my life all too often the excessive amount spent puts an unhealthy strain on family's, friendships, and the Newlyweds household budget!!

    Hope you work it all out and enjoy the festivities!!!
  • jenn_may
    jenn_may Posts: 154 Member
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    Do I think a wedding gift opening party is strange and unnecessary? Yes. Do I think you should attend? Yes, you are in the bridal party and while I feel your pain I think it is your duty as a bridesmaid to be there.
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
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    I've never heard of a gift opening party. What a selfish, indulgent, ridiculous waste of time! I would not go....

    (and no I am not jealous, I have all the household carp I need and then some!)

    AND another thing? Doesn't the couple go away to spend one-on-one time with each other on their wedding night? Why would they want to get up early the next morning and go to yet another event? Wouldn't they want to enjoy their first morning as husband and wife together?

    BECAUSE IT IS A TRADITION!!!!!!!

    TRADITION!!!!

    one more time

    TRADTION

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