Is it rude...

macpatti

It doesn't matter that you've never heard of it before. If the bride has the whole weekend planned, and you knew about it when you agreed to be in the wedding party, then it's rude not to show up. You could attend for a while and then leave after an hour to see your family, but I really think you should attend.

Maude_Lewbowski

Sounds like a bridezilla to me. Go spend time with you family. Seems like your friend would rather bask in the glow of being a bride rather than be with her new husband. Some women just create events to make their special day(s) last and last so they can be the center of attention for as long as possible.

I would think you family would love to see you more than your friend would want you to watch her open the gift you got her.

veganbaum

A separate party to watch a person open all their wedding gifts? Uhh, never heard of such a thing. Unless you're really close to the bride (as in mom, maybe best friend) why would you want to go to a separate "party" to watch someone open gifts? I say just don't go.

MB_Positif

Actually if you already made plans with your family, it would be rude to ditch them for the party.

Excellent point due to the fact that she just found out this gift opening party was happening...

TheRoadDog

I'm glad I'm a guy.

If I show up and don't rip out the crotch of my tux when the DJ plays JUMP by Van Halen, I consider the outing to be a success.

khaosstar

Thats b/s

A three day wedding, "oh look at me I'm special"

Defo do not go.

I couldn't agree more with this and your previous statement. Let's make sure we call out those of us who could barely afford to attend, let alone get you a nice gift, while inflating the egos of those who got large gifts just to prove to everyone else how generous and wealthy we are.

Total B/S

beccyleigh

Wedding gift opening party? wtf!! Sod the party, I'd be looking for new friends, ones who didn't try to take all your time & energy by dragging their bloody wedding crap on for so long.

What a pointless exercise & totally tacky. What do they do? Open the gift, lift it up for every one to ohh & ahh over & then move on the the next one. How Jersey shore of them! bleurgh.

Hmm...and yet it's not "totally jersey shore" of you to utterly and completely insult other people's traditions, huh? Nice....hope your customs and traditions are 100% proper and free from other people's judgements.

Wow....some people....

Yes wow some people expecting others to sit around whilst they open presents from yet other people. Like I said tacky.

I would hope whatever "my" traditions are they wouldn't be at the expense of other peoples good graces nor at the expense of my own good sense. :noway:

Nelski

After my daughter's wedding we did the same thing. We had a lovely brunch with Mimosas, etc. and it was nice. She invited family and her friends who were in the wedding party.However, iIt ended up being awkward because so many guests gave cash and some gave a lot, some gave a little. Not that she cared what they gave but she felt embarrassed telling the amounts aloud so they could be written down for future thank yous. She ended up just handing me the cards and that worked but we still had that awful awkward moment whenever she opened a card. Everyone would get quiet. lol

Wow, the amounts should not have been read out loud. If it was just about knowing the amount for thank you cards the money can be kept with the cards for later, but that shouldn't really matter either because the thank you doesn't need to say "thank you for $100" or whatever the amount.

Hellbent_Heidi

I thought this was kind of cute because we've been friends for 22 years which is what makes it pretty special. We never even went to the same school. We met in a mommy and me preschool class and grew up together.

I'm sure after 22 years of friendship, (and she obviously knows how infrequently you are able to go home) she will totally understand that you want to spend time with your family - just talk to her and explain it.

Even if her feelings are a little hurt (because, lets face it...some chicks get a little nutty when its their wedding)...she will forgive you and in the long run, she can't possibly hold that against you.

My grandparents are all gone now, and if I had the chance to spend an extra day visiting with them,....well, there's not much I wouldn't blow off for that

ElizabethRoad

It doesn't matter that you've never heard of it before. If the bride has the whole weekend planned, and you knew about it when you agreed to be in the wedding party, then it's rude not to show up. You could attend for a while and then leave after an hour to see your family, but I really think you should attend.

Well she didn't know about it and never agreed to it, so she's not obligated to attend.

stylistchik

It doesn't matter that you've never heard of it before. If the bride has the whole weekend planned, and you knew about it when you agreed to be in the wedding party, then it's rude not to show up. You could attend for a while and then leave after an hour to see your family, but I really think you should attend.

She had nothing planned when I agreed to be her bridesmaid.

beach_please

A 'gift-opening lunch'?!?!? Damn... I can't think of anything more boring than sitting around watching someone open a bunch of blenders, breadmakers, and knife sets.

I don't think it would be rude in the least to miss it, even if you are in the wedding party.

caraiselite

who wants to watch people open gifts? that sounds completely lame, and i've never heard of it.

mjsunshine16

I think if you explain it to her it will be fine. You have been there for everything else and you have a good reason. Grandparents are very important and you need to spend as much time with them as you are able.

Doing_The_Unstruck

Skip it, they should understand that you would like to see your family as well.

coliema

Forgive my bluntness, but a "wedding-gift-opening party" sounds pretty damn stupid. Who wants to sit around and watch people unwrap toasters? It's one thing when it's 10 minutes of a birthday party, but a whole party based on watching people getting free stuff? No thanks.

Spend time with your family. I think the entire premise of the party is rude.

This.

MFPBrandy

I've never even HEARD of a gift-opening party. If you're participating in the wedding, and the pre-festivities as much as possible, I see no reason why you would be obligated to sit around and watch her open up her gifts. Spend the time with your family.

soontobesam

I've never heard of such a thing.... I would feel incredibly awkward opening gifts in front of everyone. Personally, i would never do something like that at my wedding but everyone has a different friends / family dynamic so I guess to each their own.

I am the MOH at my best friends wedding and unfortunately moved 1200 miles away like two weeks after I was asked. I think it would be rude of you to just not show up but I don't believe that you obligated to spend 72 hours up her butt the entire weekend you are there. Call her up and explain the situation and I'm willing to bet she wont have an issue with you passing on the gift party to spend time with family before you leave.

good luck!

stylistchik

I'm glad I'm a guy.

If I show up and don't rip out the crotch of my tux when the DJ plays JUMP by Van Halen, I consider the outing to be a success.

Thank goodness we're wearing dresses! LOL Actually at another friend's wedding; the bride, another bridesmaid and myself got up and rapped 50 Cent karaoke style at the reception. It was amazing!

Im_NotPerfect

Wedding gift opening party? wtf!! Sod the party, I'd be looking for new friends, ones who didn't try to take all your time & energy by dragging their bloody wedding crap on for so long.

What a pointless exercise & totally tacky. What do they do? Open the gift, lift it up for every one to ohh & ahh over & then move on the the next one. How Jersey shore of them! bleurgh.

Hmm...and yet it's not "totally jersey shore" of you to utterly and completely insult other people's traditions, huh? Nice....hope your customs and traditions are 100% proper and free from other people's judgements.

Wow....some people....

Yes wow some people expecting others to sit around whilst they open presents from yet other people. Like I said tacky.

I would hope whatever "my" traditions are they wouldn't be at the expense of other peoples good graces nor at the expense of my own good sense. :noway:

This is "expected" because it's a tradition in some areas. Maybe you don't know the definition? Might I refer you to dictionary.com if you need help. Just like a rehearsal dinner or a bridal shower, a gift opening is traditional to a wedding event in the upper midwest. YOU might not agree with it, but it's NOT to the expense of other people seeing as how they would have already bought you a gift. As an invited person, you are expected to do nothing other than enjoy the food and drink that the bride and groom (or their families) provide to you and enjoy their company in a RELAXED environment. It's a time to relive the day before. Tell stories that maybe the bride didn't see or hear since she was so busy. So yeah...I guess it's just rude and uncouth for people to want to enjoy casual time with their friends and family and to thank them for all of their hard work and support for the most special day of their lives. Boy....what savages....