Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'

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  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    It was a legit question to see if anyone else goes through it as well, I wasn't exactly sniveling? Just saying. She knows it's hard for me, and I asked her to stop doing this all the time, I don't want my kids eating so much sweets either.

    Don't worry, I've noticed that Bobby seems pretty snippy on other posts too, so it's not just you. :) About the just eating 1 cookie, I can't eat just one. That's how I got to be overweight in the first place, that and 4 kids anyway! But yeah, it's better to avoid the that first one and start the sugar frenzy!

    This ^

    I am the same, I *could* eat just one, but I would end up keep thinking about it and would want more. That craving only disappears once I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. God know why it works that way LOL
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Di came in and said what I wanted to say!

    But I'm amused by everyone telling her to eat a cookie--that's the point of the thread! Food pushing. She shouldn't have to eat a cookie or a cake when she doesn't want to. My husband never brings me surprise treats, not even semi-healthy ones like a small soy latte, because he doesn't know whether or not it fits into my day that particular day. And I appreciate that. It's my decision if I want to work a cookie into my day or if I want to do a workout. Just because I can eat a cookie doesn't mean I have to.

    The OP was just griping--no need to get on her case about it. We all gripe. She resisted the cookies. She said clearly a number of times that she doesn't want her kids to have too much junk. That's also her decision. Just let her complain! She's not asking US to deal with her mother. Just wants a little commiseration.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."
    The difference is that the M&Ms can't jump in the cart without your cooperation, and they don't follow you home and repeatedly shove themselves into your face saying "oh, just have one, what could it hurt?" like her mom is doing.

    The cookies don't jump out of the bowl and into her mouth, either. Tell her Mom what it does hurt. Her pride, her diet, her well being. The truth sometimes hurts, but it is usually the best thing to say.

    Like Bobby said, is she comes to the door with cookies, don't answer the door.

    Good grief! How idealistic some people's lives are.

    Do you live all of your life this way? Not being funny, but what you suggest is totally unrealistic and would end up causing great rifts amonst familes.
    You keep getting solutions that work, but to you, it's all so "unrealistic"...:laugh: :laugh:

    Is it such a stretch that not everybody is willing to pander to the absurd notions of other daft people?
    Here's the deal.
    I have lots of supportive people in my life.
    And those who are NOT supportive, I cut off, and that includes family and life-long friends.
    OFF WITH THEIR HEADS
    And some have gone their way while others have come back, hat in hand, totally willing to respect my boundaries.
    That is how it works for self-empowered people.
    I make the rules.
    You follow my rules, or get out of my life.:drinker:

    Blimey BC calm down, you'll burst a blood vessel!!!!

    Just got one thing to say, I would never be in your life, you are too rigid for my liking and too controlling. What's with all the shouting? Are you ok?

    You are not as self-empowered as you like to think you are actually, you are actually controlled by your emotions and everytime it comes across in your postings. You think you are in control but you react in the same way everytime.

    You call other people daft and yet your ideas are the daftest of all to some other people.

    Continue cutting and culling in the end everybody you had close will be gone because there is only far you can push people as the OP is finding when continually trying to tell her mother not to bring crap into the house. I do think, however, it is highly unlikely she will just cut her mother out of her life because of some crap food, that would be very "over-the-top" and unwarranted.
    Then I go back to my original post which is suck it up, and stop sniveling.
    Seriously, life is just not this complicated.
    I know the echo chamber likes drama, so have at it.
  • FitBunnyEm
    FitBunnyEm Posts: 320
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    Well my family always get all the cakes, treats, home made stuff out when i go there but i just say no thanks if i dont want one and all is fine..When my Mum brings naughty foods to my house i ask her to take them with her when she leaves so my Dad/Sis can have them...there are ways to work around it, depends how annoying families are... I can understand though..
    I wont eat just to make someone happy though even if they baked for hours and hours. Lol
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,077 Member
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    maybe it is just old habits that are hard to break on her part and also sometimes parents don't see our faults and they don't think we need to lose weight . They love us the way we are, maybe too much sometimes.
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
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    maybe it is just old habits that are hard to break on her part and also sometimes parents don't see our faults and they don't think we need to lose weight . They love us the way we are, maybe too much sometimes.


    i like this one. :)
  • Kari089
    Kari089 Posts: 126 Member
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    If your mom is also overweight or has been round the yo-yo diet bandwagon all I can say is 'misery loves company'. Sometimes mothers can also be jealous of their children's success-specially a daughter doing well on a diet.
    Been there..and I know exactly how they try to play the offended card when you refuse the junk food they so prepared with love for you. Bullcrap!
    It also goes for any other family member..sorry to say it's the way it goes for some people. Most of my family was never supportive of my weight loss so this is the reason I have only told one of my sisters who has been supportive and is genuinely happy with my success.

    I say next time this happens really have a conversation with your mom and send her back out the door with her cookies and cake. Say thank you but this is important to me and I need you to either support me or at least not try to hinder my success. It's worth a shot!
  • jp2174
    jp2174 Posts: 7
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    My mother in law so does this. I try and cut those things out for now also and every Sunday we are expected to attend dinner at her house. She knows I am trying to lose weight and she always has cake or donuts or cookies. Junk! She's old school Italian so if we don't go I hear her all week long... are you mad at me? Did I do something? Yeah, you bought crap or made crap I cannot have and basically I asked you to not have it there when I come over for a reason. NO RESPECT. She actually sent a cake home a few weeks ago with my 21 year old son and I threw it out. Snce it's basically a requirement for us to attend Sunday dinner it also drives me crazy that the only thing she makes is gravy. (Pasta) I have politely asked if she minded making a small batch of wheat pasta for me and my husband and she says yes and never does. So I eat the protein. (Meat) Then she makes me feel rude because I don't want to eat the pasta. DRIVES ME CRAZY!
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    After a while you will become immune to the temptation and it won't bother you so much when people offer you things you do not want to eat. At least that's what happened to me. The other day I was grocery shopping with my husband and as we were standing in the checkout line, I remarked that the sight of all the candy and junk right there meant absolutely nothing to me. I didn't want any, I didn't feel tempted by it, there was no inner battle not to buy any. I was at a family reunion recently and same thing. I easily could pick and choose what I wanted. I did have a small piece of cake and it was ok, but there was no inner battle not to go back for more. When people repeatedly offered me soda and chips and cookies and more cake, I simply declined.

    You already have will power, you just need to develop it and make it stronger. It's like muscles, you already have them, but perhaps they are weak and you need to make them stronger. No one else controls you but you, so know that and own your power. Just start saying no. You don't even have to explain. Mom brings over cookies/cake/whatever junk? Just say No thanks.

    My big trigger is peanut butter. I now only allow myself to have it twice a year. However that may change as I realized I have lost much of my angst about it. I now can walk into the kitchen, see the jar of it on top of the fridge, and it means little to me. I no longer have that inner battle not to go crazy with it. So I may start eating it in small amounts more frequently than twice a year. Peanut butter used to drive me into a feeding frenzy LOL.
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
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    This thread has been very entertaining. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
  • rdy2lose
    rdy2lose Posts: 106
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    My mom bring sweets over all the time and when I asked her not to she said, "they are for the kids, just don't eat any." To make it worse she said she cannot keep them in her house because she will eat them... ARGH
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    It was a legit question to see if anyone else goes through it as well, I wasn't exactly sniveling? Just saying. She knows it's hard for me, and I asked her to stop doing this all the time, I don't want my kids eating so much sweets either.

    Don't worry, I've noticed that Bobby seems pretty snippy on other posts too, so it's not just you. :)
    And yet I am not the one being walked on in life by absurd people.
    When you want to learn solutions, don't take the advice of the echo chamber.
    Learn from those who have what you desire.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:
  • jimmie25
    jimmie25 Posts: 266
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    My mom doesn't do stuf flike that but she keeps telling me that she's convinced I have an eating disorder. Because I have lost 6 pounds in 2 months..
  • thomakg
    thomakg Posts: 69 Member
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    I'm a vegetarian and it never fails that my mom brings and offers me meat during each of her weekly visits. I've had years to try out every kind of reminder and rejection I could think of. I've shouted, screamed, sounded patient, thankful, used logic, etc. She still does it. Maybe it's mom-brain. They have an overwhelming desire to comfort you and it overrides there common sense or something. I sometimes smother my son in kisses and am deaf to his initial screams to stop.

    I love it! Mom-brain...we're all guilty!
  • jporte
    jporte Posts: 164 Member
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    haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol

    If you have kids then it wasn't really meant for you or to sabotage your diet. I know we always have some sort of dessert at family get togethers (and we have these a lot) and it's your choice to have it or not....unless she is forcing you to eat it.
  • jimmie25
    jimmie25 Posts: 266
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    I'm a vegetarian and it never fails that my mom brings and offers me meat during each of her weekly visits. I've had years to try out every kind of reminder and rejection I could think of. I've shouted, screamed, sounded patient, thankful, used logic, etc. She still does it. Maybe it's mom-brain. They have an overwhelming desire to comfort you and it overrides there common sense or something. I sometimes smother my son in kisses and am deaf to his initial screams to stop.

    I love it! Mom-brain...we're all guilty!

    Maybe this explains why my mum NEVER remembers any of my "special" diets. She started remembering tho after I had to go to a hospital due to an allergic reaction to nuts.. Her memory is all refreshed now.
  • sundaywishes
    sundaywishes Posts: 246 Member
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    I usually sneak out and put the cake and desserts right back in their car! or have your spouse do it. It's a nasty trick, but hey, "right back at ya" is what that says. LOL!

    ^^This

    And that VV
    I would laugh and accept the big bowl of cookies and cake and tell mom, "Hey thanks so much, but I've eating healthy these days. "But, I'll donate your cookies and cake to the local food share ~ I'm sure they will enjoy them." I doubt she'll keep bringing over such treats.

    Also, what another poster said about getting to the point where you just throw the cookies and cake in the trash in front of her.


    I understand that you are upset about the lack of respect. Those suggestions do not bring about a solution to the complete and utter disregard for your lifestyle choices. Maybe if they are done enough times, she will finally stop doing what she's doing. If she gets upset about you acting in such a manner, tell her you have already had conversations with her regarding your new lifestyle and she kept blatantly ignoring this, so this is the solution you came up with. You're her child, but you're also an adult and deserve to speak to her like one.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    This is what I mean.. I've said it before, this is why I don't generally tell family I'm TRYING to lose weight. My mom comes over for dinner tonight. She brings a big bowl of cookies and a cake. It's like what the heck? She knows I don't want that junk, she knows it's hard to say no to chocolate chip cookies, but still. You'd think she'd want to help, or support me... Bleh


    and NO I didn't have any!! :laugh:

    Anyone else go through this too? It's driving me bonkers.
    So..... It bothers you when she brings cake and cookies over because you mentioned you're losing weight, but it would be perfectly OK for her to bring over cake and cookies if you don't tell her you're trying to lose weight?:huh:

    What are you on about LOL
    I'm on about the part I bolded. She's saying she told her mom that she was on a diet, and her mom brought cookies over. So, if she didn't tell her mom she was on a diet, and her mom brought cookies over, is that more or less bad?
  • kamiAK
    kamiAK Posts: 100 Member
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    The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
    Buck up!
    Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
    That is what I did except on my "free day".
    I can't control myself. PERIOD!
    And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
    Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:

    man what a ****
  • Rosi777
    Rosi777 Posts: 1
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    Same here have my step daughter living with me and my 13 year old son and they all pig out in front off me.I tell them whenever they say wow that's so good i tell them i can actually here you getting fatter and that usually shut's them up.
    I am going to do this and no one is going to stop me.It's for my health and me.
    Don't let them discourage you !! You can do it !!
    God Bless you
    Through:wink God we can do ANYTHING,HAVE FAITH MY FRIEND !!!
    :wink:

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