Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Read what the men are saying.

    Personally I am not a cuddler, neither is fiance. But we BOTH love and crave sharing bedspace. It's just intimate. I'd worry about somebody who couldn't handle that.
  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
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    uhm, it sounds like there's a much deeper issue here. what exactly the issue is, that needs to be figured out. but this is about more than just beds.
  • _Stampede55_
    _Stampede55_ Posts: 69 Member
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    My sister-in-law and her boyfriend sleep in separate beds. She weighs 300+ pounds and he is pushing 400...I think that explains it.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    Does he try to make sexy time from separate beds also? Or that part is ok in one bed?
  • seamonkey789
    seamonkey789 Posts: 233
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    I sleep in my room and my boyfriend sleeps in his man cave. He has his video games and netflix in there. He's needs a video to fall asleep to and we are both up and down all night, so this prevents me from waking him up when I wake up at 2 am and vice versa.

    Also, I am awful to sleep with. I have restless legs syndrome and talk in my sleep. I woke him up at 1am to argue with him about guacamole while fast asleep
  • McBully4
    McBully4 Posts: 1,270 Member
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    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    I slept in the living room for months because I snore recently i've been allowed back in the bedroom, Its miserable not sleeping next to your wife.

    Even though my wife break dances in her sleep i't rather be in bed with her than anywhere else.
  • TISH27kidneytransplant
    TISH27kidneytransplant Posts: 69
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    do you snore? are you a violent sleeper? Hubby and I sleep in different rooms! I sleep in our room and he sleeps on the couch in the living room. This is for two good reasons. He snores like a chainsaw and I NEVER sleep when he is next to me because of this. The other is cause I'm a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and have in the past accidently broke hubbys nose in my sleep! Now we both would love to be able to cuddle next to each other everynight in the same bed, it's just not pratical and in our case safe!
  • BobinNC66
    BobinNC66 Posts: 192 Member
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    I don't get it, we must not be getting part of the story here. I have joked about this with my wife in a hotel room with two beds and she has gotten seriously upset at even the thought of it. I would never not want to sleep with her. We did switch to a King Bed from a Queen bed about a year ago and almost feel like she is in a different neighborhood now. but sometimes it is nice to sprawl out, but not so nice that I would want a separate bed, to me very strange or wrong.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    :drinker:
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!
  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
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    Some people need space to get a good night's sleep. If all else is good with the relationship, then don't let it be the reason for splitting. Then again, obviously all else is not good seeings how you can even have a disagreement without going into "I'm not talking to you" mode and contemplating a break-up over a disagreement. Oy.
  • BobinNC66
    BobinNC66 Posts: 192 Member
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    ...The other is cause I'm a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and have in the past accidently broke hubbys nose in my sleep! ...

    OMG, OUCH!~!! lol
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    lol sometimes its been so hot at night that i wear nothing! he knows it but doesn't seem to care :I

    And apparently he wants you in a totally different bed just to make sure nothing happens. You need to find out what's wrong. Either he had his testicles crushed in an industrial accident, he's interested in men, or he's not turned on by you. If you're not married, don't have kids, and he won't change.... get out while you can.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    lol...so you think you're a quiet sleeper...perhaps you're not?


    If you're not talking over this and considering breaking up, good lord just get it over with...it's just sleeping... the lack of being able to discuss it and be considerate about eachothers wants seems a bit childish.

    People talking like there is some deep mystery here....ok well what does he do...is he in school? Does he work in a physically stressing job? When I don't get sleep (which is often cuz my husband snores and UFC fights in bed), I'm in the worst mood. Sometimes I move myself to another bed. It's not unheard of that someone wants to actually SLEEP when they go to bed...to sleep..and all.
  • jen_bd6
    jen_bd6 Posts: 501 Member
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    I wouldnt deal with that well either... My fiance and I only sleep in separate beds when the one of us is sick and keeping the other awake.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl.

    My husband is twenty years older than me...................we've been together for 14 years. Don't spout nonsense.
  • TISH27kidneytransplant
    TISH27kidneytransplant Posts: 69
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    ...The other is cause I'm a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and have in the past accidently broke hubbys nose in my sleep! ...

    OMG, OUCH!~!! lol

    yeah, it scared the crap out of me when he woke up cussing and screaming! lol. I felt so bad for weeks. He got pampered good during those weeks! lol
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    lol sometimes its been so hot at night that i wear nothing! he knows it but doesn't seem to care :I

    And apparently he wants you in a totally different bed just to make sure nothing happens. You need to find out what's wrong. Either he had his testicles crushed in an industrial accident, he's interested in men, or he's not turned on by you. If you're not married, don't have kids, and he won't change.... get out while you can.

    I sleep naked and my husband isn't always all over me. He's not gay, his testicles haven't been crushed and I most certainly turn him on.

    The OP hasn't answered the question of what the real underlying reason for this is. They are not speaking to each other over this and she's going to dump him for it. There is something else going on besides his want of separate beds. So OP, what's the real issue here?
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    whats your personal hygene like?
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!
    What are you talking about? One, he could be 26 and have been on his own since he was 18. At 26 he would think 8 years is a long time. Plus, a 26-year-old woman can date a 30-something man without there being a power imbalance.

    And what's the problem with one person moving into the other person's home? You seem to have some serious issues.

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