Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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Replies

  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
    Dude is an idiot...sorry, he just is. If you want to force his hand, wear the tiniest shorts or thong and nothing else. Don't cover up and make sure he has a nice view of the goodies.

    I would tie a rope to the cieling and swing over there head first.

    Your answers always make me laugh :laugh: :laugh:

    Secret...I laugh at my own posts also, kind of annoying if you ask me.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    He has lived on his own for quite a long time though and I guess you become accustomed to that single lifestyle?

    Yes you can,
    If he slept alone all his life, and now sleeps with someone else... it could be too different for him. I can't sleep with my nephew, when he comes running up at 4 am, to sleep with me because of a bad dream... I am now up at 4 am, or I have to move to a new location when he falls back to sleep.

    Slowly, move together, don't be put off because he is having a hard time at adjusting
  • menletti
    menletti Posts: 96 Member
    Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

    Probably so.
  • amybrauch
    amybrauch Posts: 250 Member
    My husband (then boyfriend) and I slept in seperate beds and rooms for years. I was fine with it. Our apartment had small bedrooms and the both of us just could not be comfortable in a full or queen size bed. Now that we have a house, we have a King size bed and share it, but if we travel and the hotel puts us in a double room, we each sleep in a seperate bed. We just prefer our comfort. It is a King size bed or nothing for us.
  • Jani2416
    Jani2416 Posts: 275 Member
    I hardly sleep in the same bed as the hubby. I have strange sleep habits and it's not like there's magic happening :laugh: I usually crawl in with my daughter.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    I'm in my early 20s and I'm probably being over the top about it but my boyfriend is happy for us to be sleeping in the same room but separate beds. It makes me upset because I would like to wake up next to him and cuddle blah blah...
    Right now we're having an argument about it and he's not talking to me...we're both not talking to each other really.

    Am I making a big deal out of this? and it's not like the beds are right next to each other, they're basically on different sides of the room.


    If it's a big deal to you, then make a big deal out of it...you have that right. What I will give are some stats. Building Contractors report that in the last 10 years OVER 50% of the homes built the owners have requested 2 Master Suites. This tells Me that people are taking their comfort and Relationships seriously. A major reason for relationship break-ups and divorces (other than money) are each other BAD Habits. Couples will tell you quickly, "We Love each other but we can't Live Together."

    Sure, the closeness (physically) is great, but Intimacy is MUCH more than that or sex. What about all the other time together OUTSIDE of the bed?! Also, you may need to find out why sleeping apart at such an early stage in your relationship is "Good" with him. Is it YOU>>>Snoring, Hygiene, hogging the bed/covers... OR is it him, maybe he has an Intimacy problem AND if that is the case, it is BEST you find out what the basis of it is early in the relationship. At any rate, sleeping apart is no big deal; there is no right or wrong BUT if it is to be the case, BOTH sides must have a say in the matter or it WILL lead to problems down the road.
  • PaveGurl
    PaveGurl Posts: 244 Member
    Meh. If it were up to me, I'd live in a different HOUSE from my hubby (who, for the record, I absolutely adore and think is ridiculously hot). I like my space. I like piles of covers and a hot room, and he's got a deviated septum and overheats easily. I like my space, he's a cuddler. I sleep through anything, he wakes up when the air cuts on. Some people just don't like to sleep together. It's not a personal affront, it's just a thing about him, like his shoe size, age, or denim wash preference.
  • crooks_RN
    crooks_RN Posts: 69
    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    I know you said you dont care who disagrees with you, but I dont care either! Your statement about "no good guy would want to be with a younger girl" is extremely stupid!! There is a 16 year difference b/w my husband and I and we have been together over 6 years. Just b/c someone is older than you that does not mean they "come from a position of power" as you stated. Also they may have lived longer than their partner but "life experience" comes from the exeriences you have not from the number of years you have lived!! I really do not understand how this comment would help the OP question about separate beds anyway. Oh well my comment to you really doesnt help the OP either, but when I recognize stupid, something must be said!
  • MeliJean78
    MeliJean78 Posts: 249
    You must have pulled him out of a Lassie tv show or something

    He needs to be taught how to share his little Timmy.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

    It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

    And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

    I want a MEGABED... is all I got from this

    I need MEGABED to accomodate my dogs! lol
  • Beleg
    Beleg Posts: 227 Member
    I am 37 and my wife and I have shared a bed for the last 15 yrs. Only time we have slept apart is if I have been off for training for work or deployed over seas. My wife and I fall asleep holding each others hand every night. Even when we are mad and not talking to each other. Its a promise we made to each other before we got married that regardless of anger we would still show love to each other when going to bed. I have been in dog house many a times in 15 yrs and never once was I required to sleep on the couch. Relationships are about compromise. You have to be able to compromise with each other for it to work if you don't then you both are wasting each others time.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    There is more to it than him not wanting anything to happen or being inconsiderate or not caring she's naked. The OP is not addressing the whole issue.

    Probably not. I'm sure she has other reasons for wanting to leave that aren't mentioned here. She's seeking justification to leave. I don't hear pleas of "How do I fix this?"

    No kidding. Why don't you go back and reread my posts hmm? In each and every one I said that there is another issue and that we are not getting the whole story. I never said she was asking to fix anything. Not addressing the whole issue -ie it is something other than the not sleeping together - is not saying she's asking to fix something.
  • Jebbster007
    Jebbster007 Posts: 265 Member
    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    I know you said you dont care who disagrees with you, but I dont care either! Your statement about "no good guy would want to be with a younger girl" is extremely stupid!! There is a 16 year difference b/w my husband and I and we have been together over 6 years. Just b/c someone is older than you that does not mean they "come from a position of power" as you stated. Also they may have lived longer than their partner but "life experience" comes from the exeriences you have not from the number of years you have lived!! I really do not understand how this comment would help the OP question about separate beds anyway. Oh well my comment to you really doesnt help the OP either, but when I recognize stupid, something must be said!

    You're my newest hero
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    A recent study revealed that 1 in 4 couples don't share a bed, and that it has no impact on their level of intimacy. I love snuggling up with my husband, but I also love to sleep on the diagonal. We also like two completely different types of mattress. There are nights we sleep together (most nights), but when one of us is feeling the need for a particularly good night sleep for whatever reason (or when one of us is sick) we split up, with no issue.
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    All you need to do is ask him why he wants to sleep in a separate bed. Then ask yourself why it bothers you.

    If his reasons are valid, but it still bothers you, and there's no compromise, then maybe move on. Not all people are meant to be together, and something like sleeping in the same bed may be a dealbreaker for you, where as its not for many other folks here. And vice versa (sleeping in the same bed may be a dealbreaker for your boyfriend).

    Ultimately, you both should discuss the reasons behind, and then see what you want to live with. It's only a big deal if it's a big deal to you or to him.

    And to this person:
    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    Your generalization is unintelligent, uninformed, and offensive. I'm sure you've only dated people who were exactly your own age, all the time. Go stereotype elsewhere. Or at least start your own, bitter, age-difference hating thread.
  • xtanea
    xtanea Posts: 17
    His reason for sleeping in seperate beds is so that he can get a good sleep which I find weird considering I'm the most quiet sleeper in the world and he actually snores!

    I'm thinking of breaking up with him over it, it's so hard not to take it personally and wonder if this is really about him or me. He has lived on his own for quite a long time though and I guess you become accustomed to that single lifestyle?

    I kindof agree. Dump him. You can find someone who will sleep in the same bed with you.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Maybe you sleep like this

    53269208062063656_Yxvht45y_f.jpg
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    If he has ever dressed, for Halloween, as one of the following characters in his adult life: police officer, American Indian chief, cowboy, biker, construction worker, or a military man... he's gay.
  • crooks_RN
    crooks_RN Posts: 69
    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    I know you said you dont care who disagrees with you, but I dont care either! Your statement about "no good guy would want to be with a younger girl" is extremely stupid!! There is a 16 year difference b/w my husband and I and we have been together over 6 years. Just b/c someone is older than you that does not mean they "come from a position of power" as you stated. Also they may have lived longer than their partner but "life experience" comes from the exeriences you have not from the number of years you have lived!! I really do not understand how this comment would help the OP question about separate beds anyway. Oh well my comment to you really doesnt help the OP either, but when I recognize stupid, something must be said!

    You're my newest hero


    Awwww....thanks!! :blushing:
  • Pspetal
    Pspetal Posts: 426 Member
    Maybe you sleep like this

    53269208062063656_Yxvht45y_f.jpg

    Hahahhahahhaah this is so me! My poor husband simply wakes up, walks over to the other side of the bed, holds me tightly and goes back to sleep.
  • chunkyjeff
    chunkyjeff Posts: 68 Member
    . All you need to do is ask him why he wants to sleep in a separate bed. Then ask yourself why it bothers you.

    If his reasons are valid, but it still bothers you, and there's no compromise, then maybe move on. Not all people are meant to be together, and something like sleeping in the same bed may be a dealbreaker for you, where as its not for many other folks here. And vice versa (sleeping in the same bed may be a dealbreaker for your boyfriend).

    Ultimately, you both should discuss the reasons behind, and then see what you want to live with. It's only a big deal if it's a big deal to you or to him.

    And to this person:
    QUOTE:

    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!



    Your generalization is unintelligent, uninformed, and offensive. I'm sure you've only dated people who were exactly your own age, all the time. Go stereotype elsewhere. Or at least start your own, bitter, age-difference hating thread .



    Now that is one great response :drinker:
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    If he has ever dressed, for Halloween, as one of the following characters in his adult life: police officer, American Indian chief, cowboy, biker, construction worker, or a military man... he's gay.

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    After reading all the replies, my money is still on "She farts when she sleeps"
  • chunkyjeff
    chunkyjeff Posts: 68 Member
    . All you need to do is ask him why he wants to sleep in a separate bed. Then ask yourself why it bothers you.

    If his reasons are valid, but it still bothers you, and there's no compromise, then maybe move on. Not all people are meant to be together, and something like sleeping in the same bed may be a dealbreaker for you, where as its not for many other folks here. And vice versa (sleeping in the same bed may be a dealbreaker for your boyfriend).

    Ultimately, you both should discuss the reasons behind, and then see what you want to live with. It's only a big deal if it's a big deal to you or to him.

    And to this person:
    QUOTE:

    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!



    Your generalization is unintelligent, uninformed, and offensive. I'm sure you've only dated people who were exactly your own age, all the time. Go stereotype elsewhere. Or at least start your own, bitter, age-difference hating thread .



    Now thats one great response
  • dandaninc
    dandaninc Posts: 392
    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    I sleep in a seperate room for this very reason.

    I hate it but my wife is the same way as you.

    I didn't always snore when I met my beautiful amazing wife.

    I gained 60 lbs which is when the snoring started.

    Now I'm doing everything I can to get back into that bed. (going from 275-199)
  • nikkiprickett
    nikkiprickett Posts: 412 Member
    oh hell no!
    that's just ridiculous.
    I can't even say anything else.
  • gypsybree
    gypsybree Posts: 218
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTjmERLOP9C4ryMY8HwC_RsyRm3UxlIENfu-nes0BdeH-JASOnN

    I couldn't imagine not sleeping with someone you want to be with... My ex-husband used to sleep on the couch and then finally I moved all his **** into another room so he'd not ruin my couch.
    And like I said, that's my ex-husband.


    That said, Would you like these bunk beds as a wedding gift?
  • gypsybree
    gypsybree Posts: 218
    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    I sleep in a seperate room for this very reason.

    I hate it but my wife is the same way as you.

    I didn't always snore when I met my beautiful amazing wife.

    I gained 60 lbs which is when the snoring started.

    Now I'm doing everything I can to get back into that bed. (going from 275-199)

    dude, you're effin awesome to want to get back into that bed and working to do it!
  • thcri
    thcri Posts: 459 Member
    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    This, in fact she snores so loud I have gone to a different level of the house