Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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Replies

  • chameleon77
    chameleon77 Posts: 124
    Personally, I think the whole separate bed thing is cool. Separate bedrooms is even cooler. Nothing wrong with my relationship, we've been together for 10 years and although I do enjoy cuddling with him, when I want to sleep, I want my space. Right now we have a King sized bed and it works. But it doesn't mean there is anything wrong what-so-ever. Just a preference.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
    my parents sleep in separate rooms because my stepfather snores badly and my mom hogs the bed. They've been happily married for 20 years.

    It depends on your definitions.

    My husband and I slept in separate beds for 6 months until I started MFP because I was fat and snored horribly. He needs sleep due to a medical condition.

    If we have kids, there will be a twin bed in the nursery for me to sleep in until the kid sleeps during the night - again, because my husband's medical condition makes it dangerous for him not to be well rested.

    It depends on the circumstances and what you can stand...
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    kick him and tell him to roll over. lol I seriously do that to my husband, he snores but only when he sleeps on his back.

    For the OP, King bed for sure. I never understood the separate beds or bedrooms. I heard on the news its a new trend with couples that live together. I like to be close with my man, If we need space then our King bed allows for it.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    My boyfriend's grandparents sleep in two different rooms and they have for many years now. His grandma snores very loud, and his grandpa is a ridiculously light sleeper, so the two of them sleeping together is not an option if they want to have "a good night's sleep". However, according to his grandma, it makes the time that they DO decide to visit each others beds all the more special and fun. ;) Haha! They've got such a sweet and caring relationship going, that I seriously do not think that your boyfriend is not trying to be rude or hurtful; he is just being truthful. And for that you should be happy. If he has a hard time sleeping when there's someone in the bed next to him...then he has a hard time sleeping! Some people are just like that, and for you to want to break up with him just because of that...is...:(

    Tell him how you feel, and and try to compromise if you truly care about him. If sleeping in separate beds for the rest of your life is something you absolutely cannot do, break up, I guess..


    Now this is just adorable. :heart:
  • Starla_86
    Starla_86 Posts: 88
    Thanks everyone for your honest answers. I've decided this isn't worth ending our relationship over, it has nothing to do with how much he loves me but rather the fact that he has a lot of trouble sleeping with someone next to him and needs to be well-rested for work.

    I was thankful that last night he at least tried it, it showed that he does care about our relationship and making me happy. He wasn't able to sleep though so we ended up going into our separate beds again. I'm not going to press the issue any more but just accept it.
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    Right now I am sleep deprived because my dear boyfriend snore!!!

    So I vote for sleeping in 2 different rooms

    Thought I was the only one in this situation! Sucks! I have to wear earplugs and I can still hear him through the wall!!
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    Maybe you sleep like this

    53269208062063656_Yxvht45y_f.jpg

    Actually laughed my head off and sent this to my Friend who sleeps like this!!
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    So... he tried it for one night and that proved to you he cares about your relationship? Alrighty then.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    To be honest, I couldn't deal with that. It'd get to me. I don't like sleeping alone as it is.
  • 4x4play
    4x4play Posts: 200 Member
    There is no way I would sleep in a different bed. That is just ridiculous to me. Maybe I'm crazy but if I'm with someone I want to wake up next to them for various reasons! I don't want to haul my butt to a different bed.
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,161 Member
    Always been separate room and separate bed!
  • LisaH1967
    LisaH1967 Posts: 332 Member
    My hubby and I sleep in seperate rooms only because he has a HORRIBLE snoring problem. Not sure I would like having 2 beds in the same room though. To me that's just weird?????
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Thanks everyone for your honest answers. I've decided this isn't worth ending our relationship over, it has nothing to do with how much he loves me but rather the fact that he has a lot of trouble sleeping with someone next to him and needs to be well-rested for work.

    I was thankful that last night he at least tried it, it showed that he does care about our relationship and making me happy. He wasn't able to sleep though so we ended up going into our separate beds again. I'm not going to press the issue any more but just accept it.
    i think you're making the right choice :-)
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,728 Member
    Thanks everyone for your honest answers. I've decided this isn't worth ending our relationship over, it has nothing to do with how much he loves me but rather the fact that he has a lot of trouble sleeping with someone next to him and needs to be well-rested for work.

    I was thankful that last night he at least tried it, it showed that he does care about our relationship and making me happy. He wasn't able to sleep though so we ended up going into our separate beds again. I'm not going to press the issue any more but just accept it.
    i think you're making the right choice :-)

    Me too!
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    Thanks everyone for your honest answers. I've decided this isn't worth ending our relationship over, it has nothing to do with how much he loves me but rather the fact that he has a lot of trouble sleeping with someone next to him and needs to be well-rested for work.

    I was thankful that last night he at least tried it, it showed that he does care about our relationship and making me happy. He wasn't able to sleep though so we ended up going into our separate beds again. I'm not going to press the issue any more but just accept it.
    i think you're making the right choice :-)

    Me too!

    Me too. My biggest concern about your story was that the situation left you upset and not speaking to each other. Seems like you managed to discuss it if he gave it a try (and perhaps he'll try again in the future, maybe on a non-work night), but I hope you recognize that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. That's not to say that it's not ok to say you aren't ready to talk about something or need time to think about an issue, but shutting down and holding anger isn't good for anyone.
  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
    My husband and I have always had separate beds, in fact, separate bed rooms and we still get in plenty of nookie and cuddling. :blushing:
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
    My husband and I have always had separate beds, in fact, separate bed rooms and we still get in plenty of nookie and cuddling. :blushing:

    I think whatever floats your boat...as long as both people in the relationship are happy and satisfied...but it seems like the poster doesn't feel good about the current sleeping situation

    My ex snored like a mad man....it was horrible..but I sucked it up because it was more important to me to be close at night as a couple.... and I just liked the fact of sleeping in the same room and the same bed
  • EggTamOut
    EggTamOut Posts: 16
    Oh boy. So hard not to make judgements here.......
    Just my personal take on it - get out now.
    I have often told my husband that the day he suggests separate beds is the day he moves out. I have a husband, not a room-mate. I am guessing you feel the same - you have a boyfriend, not a roomie.
    Are you "active" or is he possibly not being honest with you about his orientation? Just seems very un-couple-like behaviour to me. Just sayin'. Good luck to you.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I'm not much of a sleep cuddler but if my husband gets out of bed in the middle of the night I'm like

    hcpvR.gif

    :laugh:
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I might as well reply. I have nights that I don't feel like cuddling with my SO (mainly in the summer lol) but I *always* want him in the bed with me. There have been times we've argued and he'll sit in the chair across the room while I'm trying to sleep, but I'll wake up a few minutes later and tell him to get in bed but "don't talk to me, a-hole!" LOL I don't care how much he makes me upset; if I'm in bed, he needs to be right there with me.

    Your situation would be a deal-breaker for me, but it's up to you as to how you want to deal with it.
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
    Wow. I struck a cord with some people about my age comment. As a mom, I would not want my child in a relationship with someone older. If you think about it rationalIy, no parent would want that for their child. Why is that? It is just not a good idea for so many reasons. No offense to people who have an age difference in their relationship, but if she were my daughter, I would be worried.
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
    Good luck no matter what you decide to do. Peace.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
    :yawn:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Wow. I struck a cord with some people about my age comment. As a mom, I would not want my child in a relationship with someone older. If you think about it rationalIy, no parent would want that for their child. Why is that? It is just not a good idea for so many reasons. No offense to people who have an age difference in their relationship, but if she were my daughter, I would be worried.
    OP never indicated there was any age difference, so I think it was a really weird assumption to make. You kind of pulled it out of thin air, which makes me think you must have that on your mind for some reason.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Wow. I struck a cord with some people about my age comment. As a mom, I would not want my child in a relationship with someone older. If you think about it rationalIy, no parent would want that for their child. Why is that? It is just not a good idea for so many reasons. No offense to people who have an age difference in their relationship, but if she were my daughter, I would be worried.

    Um ok. :huh:

    What are the reasons that make it "not a good idea"? Not only that but how can you, as a parent, tell your child who she can and can not fall in love with? Are you saying that if she fell in love with someone who was 5 years older than her who was kind, caring, treated her like a queen, had a good paying job, wanted to spend his life with her and have a family etc. that you'd be "worried" because he's older than her? You have no logical reason as to why someone should be "worried" that they're dating someone older than them. I can see if it's a twelve year old dating a twenty five year old but lets get real here: A twenty-something year old dating someone who is in their thirties or someone in their thirties dating someone in their forties is normal. You can not honestly expect people to just seek out someone their own age.

    Also, is it just a girl who is dating a man older that's "worrisome?" What about a man who dates an older woman? Is that ok?
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