Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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  • matchbox_girl
    matchbox_girl Posts: 535 Member
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    That is a little weird. I slept alone most of my life and grew to like it like that. When my boyfriend and I first started dating I couldn't sleep well for weeks because I just couldn't get comfortable with him there. Now it has gotten better though I still toss and turn a bit with him there. My point is, what's his reasoning for separate beds? Comfort? Too hot? Or maybe he's not feeling close to you anymore. Its just weird to not share a bed. I assume you're sexually active?
  • WildFlower7
    WildFlower7 Posts: 714 Member
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    I don't get it? he is a man and doesn't want to sleep in the same bed?:noway:
    ok...uhhh trying to come up with good reasons for this. (kind of hard)
    Is it that he only has 2 single beds in the room and would really prefer to have space when he sleeps?(2 ppl in a single, fun...but not for sleeping)
    Is he still living with mom and dad? Could this be parental rules?
    Is it a religious belief kind of thing?
    can the beds be moved closer?
    I find this odd, but that could just be me.

    DITTO all of that? ^
  • Skeels
    Skeels Posts: 929 Member
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    Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.




    This
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
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    Dude is an idiot...sorry, he just is. If you want to force his hand, wear the tiniest shorts or thong and nothing else. Don't cover up and make sure he has a nice view of the goodies.

    I would tie a rope to the cieling and swing over there head first.

    Your answers always make me laugh :laugh: :laugh:
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl.

    My husband is twenty years older than me...................we've been together for 14 years. Don't spout nonsense.

    Good for you. That is awesome. Glad someone else said this before me. Lets make sure every human being in the world fits into our own tiny little private box of what is a "good man".

    Lol yep I have to agree too! The world is made up of a lot of different kinds of folks...who are we to say who belongs with who. Plus I have the reverse situation. My boyfriend is 11 years younger than I am. We've been in a happy healthy relationship for 4 years!
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    LMAO!! :laugh:

    Are ya'll Lucy Ball and Desi Arnaz? That is too funny. Umm, its not for me but maybe you two will work it out
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    It seemed to work for Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Don't see an issue...

    --P
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    You're in your 20's and dealing with that? What's gonna happen when your 40 and still with him? Get rid of the knitwit

    Good Advice is hard to come by...

    *rolls eyes*
  • Ali_TSO
    Ali_TSO Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Three years ago, my husband got laid off, and took up nocturnal hours, so he started sleeping on the couch so he wouldn't disturb me since I had to work. Then his sleep apnea got worse, and he snores like crazy now, so he's still sleeping on the couch. We haven't slept in the same ROOM for 3 years, and we're fine. Do what works for BOTH of you. You've got to find the compromise... Good luck!
  • nwilson91
    nwilson91 Posts: 70
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    Remembered this from a website (probably not the one shown):

    "The National Sleep Foundation found that more than a third of respondents admit that their partner’s disruptive sleep habits have affected the quality of their relationship. Due to snoring, restless legs, or opposing schedules, many couples have found that rather than suffer through the effects of sleep deprivation, separate bedrooms allow them to be more well rested, which then helps them enjoy their relationship more fully."

    Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22074/74191-couples-sleep-separate-beds#ixzz2101se9bC

    My girlfriend and I sleep in separate rooms most nights because (at this weight) I snore and she has an early morning. It kills me because I like to cuddle, and I want to be with her, but she's enough of a bear in the a.m. without adding sleep deprivation into the mix...

    Perhaps you could suggest quality/cuddle time at some other point in the day/morning/evening, and leave the issue at that (our current solution).

    If you absolutely need a teddy bear at night, sure, it's your prerogative to go find one.
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    Dude is an idiot...sorry, he just is. If you want to force his hand, wear the tiniest shorts or thong and nothing else. Don't cover up and make sure he has a nice view of the goodies.

    I would tie a rope to the cieling and swing over there head first.

    Your answers always make me laugh :laugh: :laugh:

    Secret...I laugh at my own posts also, kind of annoying if you ask me.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
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    He has lived on his own for quite a long time though and I guess you become accustomed to that single lifestyle?

    Yes you can,
    If he slept alone all his life, and now sleeps with someone else... it could be too different for him. I can't sleep with my nephew, when he comes running up at 4 am, to sleep with me because of a bad dream... I am now up at 4 am, or I have to move to a new location when he falls back to sleep.

    Slowly, move together, don't be put off because he is having a hard time at adjusting
  • menletti
    menletti Posts: 96 Member
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    Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

    Probably so.
  • amybrauch
    amybrauch Posts: 250 Member
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    My husband (then boyfriend) and I slept in seperate beds and rooms for years. I was fine with it. Our apartment had small bedrooms and the both of us just could not be comfortable in a full or queen size bed. Now that we have a house, we have a King size bed and share it, but if we travel and the hotel puts us in a double room, we each sleep in a seperate bed. We just prefer our comfort. It is a King size bed or nothing for us.
  • Jani2416
    Jani2416 Posts: 275 Member
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    I hardly sleep in the same bed as the hubby. I have strange sleep habits and it's not like there's magic happening :laugh: I usually crawl in with my daughter.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    I'm in my early 20s and I'm probably being over the top about it but my boyfriend is happy for us to be sleeping in the same room but separate beds. It makes me upset because I would like to wake up next to him and cuddle blah blah...
    Right now we're having an argument about it and he's not talking to me...we're both not talking to each other really.

    Am I making a big deal out of this? and it's not like the beds are right next to each other, they're basically on different sides of the room.


    If it's a big deal to you, then make a big deal out of it...you have that right. What I will give are some stats. Building Contractors report that in the last 10 years OVER 50% of the homes built the owners have requested 2 Master Suites. This tells Me that people are taking their comfort and Relationships seriously. A major reason for relationship break-ups and divorces (other than money) are each other BAD Habits. Couples will tell you quickly, "We Love each other but we can't Live Together."

    Sure, the closeness (physically) is great, but Intimacy is MUCH more than that or sex. What about all the other time together OUTSIDE of the bed?! Also, you may need to find out why sleeping apart at such an early stage in your relationship is "Good" with him. Is it YOU>>>Snoring, Hygiene, hogging the bed/covers... OR is it him, maybe he has an Intimacy problem AND if that is the case, it is BEST you find out what the basis of it is early in the relationship. At any rate, sleeping apart is no big deal; there is no right or wrong BUT if it is to be the case, BOTH sides must have a say in the matter or it WILL lead to problems down the road.
  • PaveGurl
    PaveGurl Posts: 244 Member
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    Meh. If it were up to me, I'd live in a different HOUSE from my hubby (who, for the record, I absolutely adore and think is ridiculously hot). I like my space. I like piles of covers and a hot room, and he's got a deviated septum and overheats easily. I like my space, he's a cuddler. I sleep through anything, he wakes up when the air cuts on. Some people just don't like to sleep together. It's not a personal affront, it's just a thing about him, like his shoe size, age, or denim wash preference.
  • crooks_RN
    crooks_RN Posts: 69
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    I know you said you dont care who disagrees with you, but I dont care either! Your statement about "no good guy would want to be with a younger girl" is extremely stupid!! There is a 16 year difference b/w my husband and I and we have been together over 6 years. Just b/c someone is older than you that does not mean they "come from a position of power" as you stated. Also they may have lived longer than their partner but "life experience" comes from the exeriences you have not from the number of years you have lived!! I really do not understand how this comment would help the OP question about separate beds anyway. Oh well my comment to you really doesnt help the OP either, but when I recognize stupid, something must be said!
  • MeliJean78
    MeliJean78 Posts: 249
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    You must have pulled him out of a Lassie tv show or something

    He needs to be taught how to share his little Timmy.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

    It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

    And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

    I want a MEGABED... is all I got from this

    I need MEGABED to accomodate my dogs! lol

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