Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

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  • LilMissSunshine_
    LilMissSunshine_ Posts: 520
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    Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

    Yoo hooo... I think this nailed it. ^^^
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    I sleep naked and my husband isn't always all over me. He's not gay, his testicles haven't been crushed and I most certainly turn him on.

    The OP seems to indicate that he never responds to this and he also wants to move her to a totally different bed. Is your husband ignoring you and putting you in a different bed than him at night? Of course you don't get attacked every night. People need recovery days but a total lack of interest all the time is a big deal.
  • stpetegirl
    stpetegirl Posts: 241
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    SMH............Really and he's in his 20's?
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

    It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

    And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    All that matters it that is bothers you. If it bothers you and he does not care, then that is the real issue in my opinion. If he will not now take into consideration your feelings and needs then he never will.
  • downinaggieland98
    downinaggieland98 Posts: 224 Member
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    ... but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good.

    Whoa now!! lol... I married a good older guy, those are fightin' words!!
  • ali_b83
    ali_b83 Posts: 324 Member
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    I haven't read the response yet, but WHAT?! As a woman, yeah, sometimes snoring gets obnoxious, but I see no reason for a man to want to sleep in a separate bed. My husband and I can't even fall asleep if we aren't in bed together.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    Really? And as a FABULOUS 37 year old woman - I am TELLING you, MEN GO FOR YOUNGER WOMEN!
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
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    hello no
    i think it is a deal breaker...he seems rigid and selfish....if it is like this now..think of how things will be in the long term
    Be with someone who is nurturing, loving and compromising and makes you feel good

    kim
  • raindance_maggie
    raindance_maggie Posts: 150
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    okay this one is keeping me in suspense....WTF is the rest of the story? :) i hate when mine doesnt come to bed and falls asleep on the couch. i never sleep well and we arent entangled or anything like that...i just like the presence -- except when im mad at him and in that case i was mad that he came to bed last night :D asshat.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Ugh, you also said you are in your early twenties and he has been living alone for a long time. Is he much older than you? I don't care who disagrees with me, but as a FABULOUS 42 year old woman - I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl. People who are older have more life experience come from a position of power and an imbalance of power in a relationship is never good. PLUS are moving into his place? WHY? Do you plan on building a life together or just fitting into his? You should RUN!!!

    Some people just give terrible advice...
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    All that matters it that is bothers you. If it bothers you and he does not care, then that is the real issue in my opinion. If he will not now take into consideration your feelings and needs then he never will.

    Peach wins. Doesn't really matter what random people on the internet think. If it hurts you, that's the problem

    And for the record, I sleep on the couch 3-4 times a week b/c of the snoring.
  • lour441
    lour441 Posts: 543 Member
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    Stop jacking all of the comforter.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    I sleep naked and my husband isn't always all over me. He's not gay, his testicles haven't been crushed and I most certainly turn him on.

    The OP seems to indicate that he never responds to this and he also wants to move her to a totally different bed. Is your husband ignoring you and putting you in a different bed than him at night? Of course you don't get attacked every night. People need recovery days but a total lack of interest all the time is a big deal.


    She didn't say all the time she said "sometimes it's so hot at night I don't wear anything. He knows this but doesn't do anything". Some people don't like to have sex when it's hot out. I don't always like it. Also if you read all the other posts that I have typed you would see that I also said that we are obviously not getting the whole picture. The fact that they are not speaking to each other and she is going to dump him over something as ridiculous as not sleeping in the same bed is a red flag that something else is going on and this is just the catalyst.

    There is more to it than him not wanting anything to happen or being inconsiderate or not caring she's naked. The OP is not addressing the whole issue.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    i don't know why people are making a huge deal.

    he finds it easier to sleep along. some people do. wanting a decent night's sleep doesn't make him gay or mean he doesn't love her. it's a silly, overly emotional assumption. give the guy a break!


    it's a compatability issue, nothing more and nothing less. screw what other people do! you two need to decide if you can compromise or if you need to part. neither of you is in the wrong for wanting what you want.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    i don't know why people are making a huge deal.

    he finds it easier to sleep along. some people do. wanting a decent night's sleep doesn't make him gay or mean he doesn't love her. it's a silly, overly emotional assumption. give the guy a break!


    it's a compatability issue, nothing more and nothing less. screw what other people do! you two need to decide if you can compromise or if you need to part. neither of you is in the wrong for wanting what you want.

    This!
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
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    That's just weird
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I realize you're in your early 20s so maybe this is hard, but try to accept that maybe this isn't all about you and his feelings for you.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    All that matters it that is bothers you. If it bothers you and he does not care, then that is the real issue in my opinion. If he will not now take into consideration your feelings and needs then he never will.
    why are her feelings more important than his?
    why is his good night's sleep not as important?

    how do you know he doesn't care?
    maybe he cares but still needs to sleep alone?
    maybe it's her who doesn't care enough about his feelings.

    cuts both ways.
  • rachey_v
    rachey_v Posts: 127 Member
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    do you snore? are you a violent sleeper? Hubby and I sleep in different rooms! I sleep in our room and he sleeps on the couch in the living room. This is for two good reasons. He snores like a chainsaw and I NEVER sleep when he is next to me because of this. The other is cause I'm a violent sleeper. I toss and turn and have in the past accidently broke hubbys nose in my sleep! Now we both would love to be able to cuddle next to each other everynight in the same bed, it's just not pratical and in our case safe!



    It wasn't too long ago that my hubby woke me up by punching me in the head (in his sleep), he also suffers from night terrors... Luckily at the moment it doesn't get violent too often so we can still share a bed but I do feel your pain!

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