Sleeping in seperate beds, what do you think?

shammxo

If I had a boyfriend, I'd prefer separate beds.

I need a lot of space when I'm sleeping, and I can't stand being touched when I'm trying to do so.

1WorkoutAtATime

if you move alot or take all the cover could be why....

lmelangley

Could mean something, could mean nothing. As others have suggested, he may just sleep better by himself. Is your relationship healthy, otherwise?

InTheInbetween

Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

^^ This is genius!

Maude_Lewbowski

If I didn't have a kingsized bed I would sleep in a seperate bed. I am a light sleeper with horrible insomnia. I would consider it my present to my SO and myself.

lizziebeth1028

My first thought is that it's odd for 2 people so young to be sleeping separately. You guys should be horny as hell, all over each other and ready to spring into action at any moment. Ahh youth is wasted on the young. How long have you been seeing this guy? If he is committed to the relationship he should be open to try and work something out? So is it like 2 single beds in a room like Flintstone style? Is he still living in his parents house? Maybe it's time for him to graduate from the kiddie car bed to a adult relationship.

nikinyx6

My boyfriend's grandparents sleep in two different rooms and they have for many years now. His grandma snores very loud, and his grandpa is a ridiculously light sleeper, so the two of them sleeping together is not an option if they want to have "a good night's sleep". However, according to his grandma, it makes the time that they DO decide to visit each others beds all the more special and fun. Haha! They've got such a sweet and caring relationship going, that I seriously do not think that your boyfriend is not trying to be rude or hurtful; he is just being truthful. And for that you should be happy. If he has a hard time sleeping when there's someone in the bed next to him...then he has a hard time sleeping! Some people are just like that, and for you to want to break up with him just because of that...is...:(

Tell him how you feel, and and try to compromise if you truly care about him. If sleeping in separate beds for the rest of your life is something you absolutely cannot do, break up, I guess..

girl Debbie Gibson is your Doppleganger, you look just like her.........................I mean this as a compliment she is beautiful

wow it's true...you look like Debbie

Bentley2718

My husband and I both have problems with insomnia, but rarely at the same time--giving us plenty of time to wake each other up from what might otherwise be a rare good night's sleep. I always sleep with lots of covers, and he likes just a sheet. I toss and turn, he elbows me in the face/chest (ever been woken up by an elbow to the face?) or rolls over on top of me. Occasionally I wish we had separate beds, or at least a guest room one of us could move to on bad nights. Sometimes one of us sleeps on the floor because it's actually easier to get some rest or not keep the other person up. Personally, I would ask why specifically he has trouble sleeping with you in the bed, but I don't really find it odd *at all*.

I would note that if you're not talking to each other, and thinking of breaking up over this sort of issue, this might be a sign of bigger issues in the relationship.

thewang

My boyfriend and I don't even share a bedroom. In fact, we have an entire floor seperating us. He's an incredibly light sleeper, I sleep like a dead person and snore constantly (I'm sure my weight is a factor there...) It does suck sometimes waking up by myself etc... but we make it a point to have cuddle time in the same bed before we go to sleep and a few days a week/weekends join the other in their bed in the morning. I would rather him get a good nights sleep than sleep next to me so maybe your boyfriend just needs to do a few things differently so you don't feel neglected/rejected

SVCat

If I had a boyfriend, I'd prefer separate beds.

I need a lot of space when I'm sleeping, and I can't stand being touched when I'm trying to do so.

I'd rub novacaine on my hands and still touch you. BOOM!

Jebbster007

I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl.

My husband is twenty years older than me...................we've been together for 14 years. Don't spout nonsense.

Good for you. That is awesome. Glad someone else said this before me. Lets make sure every human being in the world fits into our own tiny little private box of what is a "good man".

HealthyNFit4Life

What's his reasoning?? I personally hate sharing beds with boys. I like my own space when I sleep and get hot.

4flamingoz

You're in your 20's and dealing with that? What's gonna happen when your 40 and still with him? Get rid of the knitwit

usernamejoe

You must have pulled him out of a Lassie tv show or something

melinda200208

Agreed- See is he is willing on getting a bigger bed if space is an issue. I like to cuddle a little before I fall asleep, but once I fall asleep, I like to sleep comfortable and have my space. We have a California King and I love it!!! It would be very alarming to me if my fiance wanted to sleep in different beds. I would want to find a solution to the problem.

Hmmm, maybe you need a bigger bed. When my hubby and I first got together we were sharing a full size bed (he's 6'4" 250lbs and I'm not tiny). When I got pregnant with our first child I ended up sleeping in a different bed because there just wasn't enough room for the 2 1/2 of us and my body pillow. That only lasted for a month or two until we could afford to upgrade to the king size bed. Also, as much as I love to cuddle when we're awake, neither one of us like to touch when we're sleeping so having a big bed is nice.

noirnatural

Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

:noway:

imthelobster

Oh you just need what my wife and I have - MEGABED.

It's a Twin and a Queen pushed together. (I get the twin of course). The extra space means no blankie stealing or accidental "wolverine having a bad dream about the war" impaling. If one of us has a restless night the other doesn't get affected. I get to have my firm mattress, she gets to have her weird all-engulfing soft white blood cell type thing.

And best of all, wanna cuddle... you can just roll right over across the gap and do so.

That sounds like an excellent plan! My SO and I had to get a memory foam king size, because of how much she wiggles around and such, and I need my space!

Anyway, I don't think that not sharing a bed is particularly weird, a lot of people just need their space and/or don't like getting woken up by snoring, restlessness, being kicked/punched, etc.

angryguy77

If he's denying you intimacy, then there is a definite problem and I'd run. The last thing you want to be in a sexless marriage. However, if he just likes sleeping alone, then it's something you have do decide if it 's reason enough to dump him. Does he make you happy in other areas? If so, is this worth ending the relationship for?

shesapear

lol sometimes its been so hot at night that i wear nothing! he knows it but doesn't seem to care :I

:noway: you are naked and he still doesn't want to sleep in the same bed??!!! Honey...that's what we call a red flag.

**THIS***

SithZombie

What?! A man that doesn't require using breasts as pillows at night?! I just bought a California King and my husband still insists on cuddling or at least holding my hand at night....What reason is your man giving you for not wanting to sleep in the same bed?!

matchbox_girl

That is a little weird. I slept alone most of my life and grew to like it like that. When my boyfriend and I first started dating I couldn't sleep well for weeks because I just couldn't get comfortable with him there. Now it has gotten better though I still toss and turn a bit with him there. My point is, what's his reasoning for separate beds? Comfort? Too hot? Or maybe he's not feeling close to you anymore. Its just weird to not share a bed. I assume you're sexually active?

WildFlower7

I don't get it? he is a man and doesn't want to sleep in the same bed?:noway:
ok...uhhh trying to come up with good reasons for this. (kind of hard)
Is it that he only has 2 single beds in the room and would really prefer to have space when he sleeps?(2 ppl in a single, fun...but not for sleeping)
Is he still living with mom and dad? Could this be parental rules?
Is it a religious belief kind of thing?
can the beds be moved closer?
I find this odd, but that could just be me.

DITTO all of that? ^

Skeels

Hey, at least you wont get pregnant. Also, he's gay.

This

mrsnathanandrew

Dude is an idiot...sorry, he just is. If you want to force his hand, wear the tiniest shorts or thong and nothing else. Don't cover up and make sure he has a nice view of the goodies.

I would tie a rope to the cieling and swing over there head first.

Your answers always make me laugh :laugh: :laugh:

lizziebeth1028

I am TELLING you, no good guy would want to be with a younger girl.

My husband is twenty years older than me...................we've been together for 14 years. Don't spout nonsense.

Good for you. That is awesome. Glad someone else said this before me. Lets make sure every human being in the world fits into our own tiny little private box of what is a "good man".

Lol yep I have to agree too! The world is made up of a lot of different kinds of folks...who are we to say who belongs with who. Plus I have the reverse situation. My boyfriend is 11 years younger than I am. We've been in a happy healthy relationship for 4 years!

Emancipated_Tai

LMAO!! :laugh:

Are ya'll Lucy Ball and Desi Arnaz? That is too funny. Umm, its not for me but maybe you two will work it out

Prahasaurus

It seemed to work for Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Don't see an issue...

--P

TylerJ76

You're in your 20's and dealing with that? What's gonna happen when your 40 and still with him? Get rid of the knitwit

Good Advice is hard to come by...

*rolls eyes*

Ali_TSO

Three years ago, my husband got laid off, and took up nocturnal hours, so he started sleeping on the couch so he wouldn't disturb me since I had to work. Then his sleep apnea got worse, and he snores like crazy now, so he's still sleeping on the couch. We haven't slept in the same ROOM for 3 years, and we're fine. Do what works for BOTH of you. You've got to find the compromise... Good luck!

nwilson91

Remembered this from a website (probably not the one shown):

"The National Sleep Foundation found that more than a third of respondents admit that their partner’s disruptive sleep habits have affected the quality of their relationship. Due to snoring, restless legs, or opposing schedules, many couples have found that rather than suffer through the effects of sleep deprivation, separate bedrooms allow them to be more well rested, which then helps them enjoy their relationship more fully."

Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22074/74191-couples-sleep-separate-beds#ixzz2101se9bC

My girlfriend and I sleep in separate rooms most nights because (at this weight) I snore and she has an early morning. It kills me because I like to cuddle, and I want to be with her, but she's enough of a bear in the a.m. without adding sleep deprivation into the mix...

Perhaps you could suggest quality/cuddle time at some other point in the day/morning/evening, and leave the issue at that (our current solution).

If you absolutely need a teddy bear at night, sure, it's your prerogative to go find one.