Can we discuss public restroom etiquitte???
Replies
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I've worked at Walmart twice and I always make friends with the maintainance people. I feel so bad, they're always really nice older dudes who just want to make a living and the horror stories... oh god. Especially the unisex/family/private bathroom, people seem to think that since it has a closing door, they can do whatever the hell they'd like in there.
I still maintain that my grossest experience was walking into my high school restroom and finding poo smeared on the mirror. Someone took the time to poo, put it on their hand, and wipe it somewhere.0 -
I hate it when they are on their phone talking....HELLO Hang up for 2 minutes, really!>! Ugh...So I flush once for me, and a few extras so the person on the other end of their phone knows what they are REALLY doing.
This is funny!0 -
Anyone ever experience the bathroom scene in "Bad Teacher" Holding it in until everyone else leaves just to have the guy/girl in the stall next to you doing the same thing? How long do you wait? Do you try to sneak it out (never seems to work)? Do you cover by flushing the toilet/coughing/clearing your throat?
^ship... YES! Hilarious... Funniest part of the entire movie.0 -
For example: If there are six stalls, and they're all empty except for the one I'm in...why would you choose the one next to me???
And for the record, this is not a glory hole type sitch.
Strength in Numbers? Maybe they didn't have enough fiber in their diet and just need the support to make it through.
:laugh: :sad: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
haha, i hate that too. same with parking spaces, no matter how many spaces away from the other cars i park, someone comes and parks right next to me, as close as humanly possible!
Agree with this and OP....and my biggest pet peeve is the treadmill, if i'm on one and every other one is open why the hell do you have to take the one right next to me and than proceed to sweat on me and my machine....UGH or have terrible bo...0 -
The worst thing I ever saw, and it was at work which made it worse.
One of my clients needed to use the restroom so of course I let her, she was in there for more than a few minutes so I knew what was going on. I needed to pee but I waited for about twenty minutes so that the smell wouldn't be so bad.
Well when I went into the bathroom the only smell was some type of Glade we had in there....BUT wiggling on the toilet seat was a MotherF'in maggot.
I went and pee'd outside.
^^Winner! :sick:
ETA: Aaaannnd I don't think it was a "maggot", my friend.
Oh I am pretty sure it was a maggot, I mean I didn't pick it up and tastes it or anything. But I have seen a few in my days and this definitely looked and moved like one.
Pretty sure it was just a worm. People get them like animals do. They do look like maggots.
Oh man...I really wish I hadn't visited this forum while I'm having lunch. :sick:
You're welcome =]0 -
For example: If there are six stalls, and they're all empty except for the one I'm in...why would you choose the one next to me???
And for the record, this is not a glory hole type sitch.
wow..it REALLY is true what they say about the forum people.
What are you trying to say here??0 -
I used to work in retail and have wondered how in the name of Frodo people managed to SPRAY their poop that high on the wall. They must have taken elephant laxative and then bent over and grabbed their ankles. We're talking 6 feet from the floor. I just marveled.
I almost snorted soda out my nose! This is freaking hilarious!!!!0 -
Reply to: Is it okay to pass gas when someone else is in the stall next to you:
Yes, It's a restroom & that's what its for...to relieve yourself. Yes, saying Excuse me would be a nice gesture; but not really necessary. 0 -
For example: If there are six stalls, and they're all empty except for the one I'm in...why would you choose the one next to me???
And for the record, this is not a glory hole type sitch.
wow..it REALLY is true what they say about the forum people.
And what exactly is it that "they" say???
edited to add: Also, forum people? Really? Look at my post count.
you got me. quality of posts really does override quantity.0 -
Probably the worst I've encountered has been at the local theater, which is in a mall. I walked in once and EVERY toilet had pee-soaked toilet paper on top of the lid with un-flushed crap in the loo. Another time, someone had drawn on one of the toilets with a used tampon...blech. I really felt bad for the person I told and whoever ended up having to clean it up. Do people really find it necessary to be as disgusting as possible in a public bathroom?0
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How about people who pee ALL OVER THE SEAT and then just leave it like that - were they born in a barn or something?? If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!!!
Oh my goodness! With two boys and a husband this is my mantra!!!:laugh:0 -
lol this is hilarious, I can't even finish reading at work. Will comment later tonight!0
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haha, i hate that too. same with parking spaces, no matter how many spaces away from the other cars i park, someone comes and parks right next to me, as close as humanly possible!
Agree with this and OP....and my biggest pet peeve is the treadmill, if i'm on one and every other one is open why the hell do you have to take the one right next to me and than proceed to sweat on me and my machine....UGH or have terrible bo...
I swear, I keep my sweat to myself but if you are next the the machine that has the best t.v. - while is it against my best judgement - I will take the one next to you. Sorry :frown:0 -
I hate when people use the bathroom like a dang phone booth! Are people so attached to their phones they have to use them everywhere! Also, when you are ringing someone up ( I work retail) for the love of Pete, hang up the phone! It is the rudest thing in the world to be on the phone when I am ring you up!0
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I just read all of the posts! :laugh: I feel sorry for the ones who have to clean up all the mess, like when toilets get clogged!0
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What I want to know is what kind of woman can’t put their bloody tampon in the toilet or the trash?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Freakin' hilarious!!0 -
How to Poop at Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.0 -
you got me. quality of posts really does override quantity.
Stop taking yourself so seriously. :laugh:0 -
I had a Health teacher in high school who (and I remember this so, so vividly) used to tell us about conserving water and how she would only flush her toilet at the end of the day regardless of the number of times she had to use the bathroom. I also remember her mentioning she has taught this to her sons and husband as well.
Funny, I don't remember high school much but this stuck with me.
Like the saying goes - "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." Blech.0 -
For example: If there are six stalls, and they're all empty except for the one I'm in...why would you choose the one next to me???
And for the record, this is not a glory hole type sitch.
OMG! that ALWAYS happens to me....WTF????? oh and people using their cell phones in the bathroom.....soooo disgusting!!!! :grumble:0 -
I hate it when people throw balled up wet toilet paper on the ceiling. Makes me think it's going to fall down on me. Lots of this in park restrooms -.-0
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What kind of places are you people going to??? LOL. I can honestly say I only run across gross bathrooms once in a blue moon!
You frequent many, many, verry, verrrrry, nice places...congrats! :bigsmile:0 -
How to Poop at Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!! I love it!!0 -
For example: If there are six stalls, and they're all empty except for the one I'm in...why would you choose the one next to me???
And for the record, this is not a glory hole type sitch.
Ugh! Yes!!! This bugs the Sh**out of me!!!!!!0 -
http://www.theofficedump.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/20111019-105510.jpg
Edit.........blast....picture isn't inserting for some reason0 -
http://www.theofficedump.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/20111019-105510.jpg
Edit.........blast....picture isn't inserting for some reason
you have to put [ img ] in front of the link and [ /img ] behind w/o the spaces between the brackets though0 -
Do not talk to me. *unless you need tp*
Do not peek in at me.
Do not bang on my door, because I will stay seated until you give up.
If I have to use the handicap stall please do not stand outside and yell at me and bang on door. I only use it if there are no other stalls open.0 -
How about people who pee ALL OVER THE SEAT and then just leave it like that - were they born in a barn or something?? If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!!!
This!!! My pet peeve. :laugh: :laugh:
-Mine too!!! Can't stand it. If you MUST hover... then PLEASE take the time to wipe off the seat because believe it or not, your aim isn't as good as you think it is! LOL!
-Another annoyance... when people put their poopy/bloody toilet tissue in the trash can instead of flushing it! :sick: Gross! No one wants to see/smell that mess, just flush it already!
-I agree with the phone calls... it can wait.
-Flush the toilet when you're done, and please take the time to make sure it all goes down.
-Wash your hands... WITH soap.
-Keep your kids from poking their heads under the doors
-Put your feminine products where they belong, and if they have to sit in a trash can without a lid on it, please take the time to at least wrap them up so we don't have to see them. :noway:
As far as using the stall next to me... meh, doesn't really bother me.
Fart like a pack mule if you wanna, just be aware that you may hear a snicker. (some people find it funny no matter where you are, especially if they have kids with them... :laugh: LOL)0 -
Fart like a pack mule if you wanna, just be aware that you may hear a snicker.
^^^That would be me laughing. For some reason I can't stop laughing when some one farts. I can't help it. I once went to pick up my mother from a colonoscopy and was asked to leave. People were half unconscious rippin' em left and right! It was like a war zone in there. I was laughing so hard I was disturbing the patients. I was so ashamed. :ohwell:0
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