Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

michelejoann

First off, your man is a jag-off (Pittsburghese for total jerk face).

Secondly: Some pointers. Perhaps the reason for your plateau is this: I looked through your diary. You are seriously UNDER eating. Some days are under 1000 calories. Total. You need to eat AT LEAST a minimum of 1200 to facilitate weight loss. You are exercising, which is great, but perhaps your body is struggling to hold on to your calories as tightly as possible that its not allowing you to lose.

Thirdly: Be patient. It took me 6 months to drop 32 pounds. But guess what? I'll keep it off because it's a slow gradual process.

Lastly: You're beautiful as you are. Don't let some jerk tell you otherwise.

Shy500

Wow, men are soooooooooo stupid in what they say sometimes.

Don't worry about that so much, men dont think before they speak (sorry but been married to one for over 20 years lol)

I would do anything to weigh 145 lol, actually to weigh just the 180 I weighed last year lol

Just keep plugging along and us women folk will support each other, sorry men mean well but
a majority of them dont think about what they say alot (lol)

cant live with them cant live without them

just keep your mind on the prize and hold your chin up hugs and happy losing

DIsclaimer: not all men are thoughtless in speech (but its common) lol

Chipmaniac

@ Kenneth. Are you reading my posts correctly?

I have not once said I do not like my boyfriend, I don't like the way he choses to negatively "motivate" me and I don't like that he sees pictures of 17 year old me. I am 23. I didn't have hips until I was 20! My figure and body-type have changed just from age alone, and while I may one day WEIGH the same, chances are I won't LOOK the same.

I have loved him and supported his choice to lose weight and he is 180 @ 5'11 and looks great in my eyes. He looked great in my eyes when he was 195-200 so please don't say I don't "like" him. I don't like the things he says some times, but I do love him.

Don't let him make you feel bad or quit, it is an improvement and change in you that you are working hard for, it's not for him. Great if he feels better about things, but the way you feel is why we are all working on this..

She should dump him, continue pursuing whatever weight loss/fitness goals she wants to achieve, and find someone else who isn't so shallow.

You can't make fundamental change for others. It doesn't work. The only real motivation is self-motivation.

_Wits_

I just read the second pargraph again.... Thats his exact wording?

I think its good to find somebody not just attracted to you by your weight. What did he say there? Read the second paragraph again. I think its good find someone who loves you for who you are, and not just your body size. Because our body sizes are just going to change over time. Thats a fact. I know its hard sometimes for our partners to word everything just right. So it doesn't hurt our feelings, because alot of us are sensitive to this subject. Do you think you have alot of potential? Were you thinner when you were younger? I might be the only one here thats not going to tell you to break up with him. Why don't you talk to him, and tell him how you took what he said. You have a few months to toss this around in your head. And maybe you can decide later if you need to upgrade the man situation.

You want his exact wording? LOL okay.. pretty much verbatim

Him: "Promise you don't get mad at me for what I am about to say."

Me: "Okay. say it"

Him: "I hope you lose the weight. I am not always that attracted to you, and when I see the american flag bikini picture in my head, I see the potential you have, and I am really attracted TO THE GIRL IN THAT PICTURE"

I capitalized the last part because there is no bolding function on here. LOL

Sounds like he just lacks a "duh don't say something like that" filter. How long have you been dating?

holleysings

I agree. Ditch the man. HE'S THE ONE WHO ISN'T WORTH IT.

Chipmaniac

I just read the second pargraph again.... Thats his exact wording?

I think its good to find somebody not just attracted to you by your weight. What did he say there? Read the second paragraph again. I think its good find someone who loves you for who you are, and not just your body size. Because our body sizes are just going to change over time. Thats a fact. I know its hard sometimes for our partners to word everything just right. So it doesn't hurt our feelings, because alot of us are sensitive to this subject. Do you think you have alot of potential? Were you thinner when you were younger? I might be the only one here thats not going to tell you to break up with him. Why don't you talk to him, and tell him how you took what he said. You have a few months to toss this around in your head. And maybe you can decide later if you need to upgrade the man situation.

You want his exact wording? LOL okay.. pretty much verbatim

Him: "Promise you don't get mad at me for what I am about to say."

Me: "Okay. say it"

Him: "I hope you lose the weight. I am not always that attracted to you, and when I see the american flag bikini picture in my head, I see the potential you have, and I am really attracted TO THE GIRL IN THAT PICTURE"

I capitalized the last part because there is no bolding function on here. LOL

First, you should thank him for being honest. Second, you should explain to him how you can't be with someone so shallow and immature. Third, you should take your hottness and find a real man.

heatherurban

DITCH THE JERK!!! Who the hell says something like that!?!?! Oh, a jerk! gah! You're beautiful no matter your size!

JuneyJo

I don't know the guy, so I don't want to assume he's an *kitten* even though he sounds like one from that one thing he said. I think that kind of statement warrants a conversation. If he isn't attracted to you, why does he want to be your boyfriend? Did he mean something positive like "I can see where your hard work is going to take you and I like it?" I mean... if he's an *kitten*... I'd think really hard about moving 5000 miles to be with him. But if he just didn't "use his words" properly, maybe a conversation about it could help both of you gain a better understanding of where you are and where you're going.

alleycat88

I just read the second pargraph again.... Thats his exact wording?

I think its good to find somebody not just attracted to you by your weight. What did he say there? Read the second paragraph again. I think its good find someone who loves you for who you are, and not just your body size. Because our body sizes are just going to change over time. Thats a fact. I know its hard sometimes for our partners to word everything just right. So it doesn't hurt our feelings, because alot of us are sensitive to this subject. Do you think you have alot of potential? Were you thinner when you were younger? I might be the only one here thats not going to tell you to break up with him. Why don't you talk to him, and tell him how you took what he said. You have a few months to toss this around in your head. And maybe you can decide later if you need to upgrade the man situation.

You want his exact wording? LOL okay.. pretty much verbatim

Him: "Promise you don't get mad at me for what I am about to say."

Me: "Okay. say it"

Him: "I hope you lose the weight. I am not always that attracted to you, and when I see the american flag bikini picture in my head, I see the potential you have, and I am really attracted TO THE GIRL IN THAT PICTURE"

I capitalized the last part because there is no bolding function on here. LOL

Sounds like he just lacks a "duh don't say something like that" filter. How long have you been dating?

a year and half, and known each other for 2 and a half.

Maudlyn

Drop the guy.

He is not worth a move. Moreover - he is not worth your time. Or energy.

What a jerk.

Bobby_Clerici

He was just being honest.
Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

I respectfully disagree. Did you go to her profile and view her body picture? She is not fat at AAAALLLLLL. Her boyfriend is a ****.

Whether she leaves him - her business.
Over this? I doubt it.
All I am saying is strive for excellence. And when somebody says something that is hurtful, decide to use that to motivate instead of drag you down.
Life is to be lived:drinker:

slhieb

Don't give him the power to deplete your motivation. What a jerk!

DestroyTheOpposition

He is a piece of crap. Don't waste your time on him.... Sad thing is, I have feeling you will waste your time on him. Focus on a better you.... for YOU and nobody else!

FinallyFindingLisa

Dump him - whether he thinks you're thin enough or not, why do you want someone who judges you by that. You are so much more than that! Jerk

sofakingawesome69

I just read the second pargraph again.... Thats his exact wording?

I think its good to find somebody not just attracted to you by your weight. What did he say there? Read the second paragraph again. I think its good find someone who loves you for who you are, and not just your body size. Because our body sizes are just going to change over time. Thats a fact. I know its hard sometimes for our partners to word everything just right. So it doesn't hurt our feelings, because alot of us are sensitive to this subject. Do you think you have alot of potential? Were you thinner when you were younger? I might be the only one here thats not going to tell you to break up with him. Why don't you talk to him, and tell him how you took what he said. You have a few months to toss this around in your head. And maybe you can decide later if you need to upgrade the man situation.

You want his exact wording? LOL okay.. pretty much verbatim

Him: "Promise you don't get mad at me for what I am about to say."

Me: "Okay. say it"

Him: "I hope you lose the weight. I am not always that attracted to you, and when I see the american flag bikini picture in my head, I see the potential you have, and I am really attracted TO THE GIRL IN THAT PICTURE"

I capitalized the last part because there is no bolding function on here. LOL

I retract my previous statements. I misspoke. sounds like a Jerk, move on to a decent nice guy. He is treating you like an object, not a person.

alleycat88

@chipmaniac - thank you. lol - definitely put a smile on my face

Josie_lifting_cats

I echo almost everything that has been said.

My husband said nearly the same thing years ago. I haven't forgotten. It did deplete my motivation.

At the same time, he was honest. And while I reacted strongly at the time, I don't want him to not be honest with me.

Then again, he had been lying to me about it previously.

So now I spend my days wondering if he's lying or being honest now. And honestly, it's not fun. It sucks. I will probably not know ever. So I'm left reading his actions more than his words.

I wish you luck - I hope it works out. But do what you're doing for YOU, not anyone else. :flowerforyou:

joy5877

I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!

mrains2012

all i can say is what a jerk, Men and being on your journey has to be for you not some blow hard... What if the shoe were on the other foot. I understand how hard it is to look past negativity and saying that to you is negative. Tell him to get over himself

tennisbabe94

What a loser! You keep going, you're already making such a positive lifestyle change. Screw him... he sounds pretty shallow and insensitive. You deserve way better than a poohead like that!