Dismayed overhearing comments............

deannarey13

I usually don't comment on things but this really bothers me. I have had to deal with people like this my entire life. I am overweight. I am overweight because of several reasons...mainly I overeat and don't exercise enough. I am trying to make a change. The last thing I need is some judgemental person making negative comments like this. What I choose to eat or not eat is my business...and only mine....please keep your insulting judgements to yourself...

Very well said! Like I had said in a previous statement, I've never been obese/overweight but a few of my dearest friends are. I can only imagine how hard that is and I don't pretend to understand how they feel. The very LAST thing that is needed is judgement from strangers.

paleirishmother

Wow. It's creepy, you're on a cruise looking around, estimating the weight of children. Yikes! Get over yourself!

myofibril

If more people spent time over indulging in free physical activity rather than free food there would be a lot less people with weight issues.

Why does eating so much that you feel physically uncomfortable or ill equate to having "a good time"? That's over indulging not really because you like the taste of the food but for its own sake. Sure it's cool to relax your restrictions a bit but I think many people eat excessively on holiday just for something to do rather than real pleasure.

herstrawberri

people should strive for a more reasonable weight limit so that we can enjoy life more.

Don’t you think that we know that? I am “OBVIOUSLY” one of those “obese” (formerly morbidly obese) “and very overweight” people that enjoyed my dinner on my 2 week cruise in June. I was careful what I ate for breakfast and most of my lunches (some were on shore excursions that included local meals) but I fully enjoyed my dinners and ate what I thought was the most interesting (a lot of fish and seafood, however with rich sauces) as well as deserts.

Personally, I’m only concerned about my own weight and health problems as well as those of my wife, not that of others, because I don’t know their mindset or circumstances.

By the way, I gained one pound on my cruise.

I agree with this post. I think this whole thread is just an opportunity for people to talk about how grossed out they are about people around them and I don't like those intentions. Who cares about these comments people made in line to enjoy their cruise food? Maybe they really were on diets. Or maybe not. How do we know? Did you ask? So why make this post? So other people could chime in about other obese people they've seen daring to eat in public? I've never been on a cruise. One day I'll be able to afford one and then I'm eating whatever I want.

BOTH of these!!! I used to weigh 375, I now weigh 237 and if I was on that cruise, believe me, I would be eating whatever the hell I wanted. You are on vacation, why are you judging what others are eating? Did the cruise suck so bad that you needed to find something else to do? I get we all need to have personal accountability, but that is up to them...not you. Sitting in judgement over ANYONE over ANYTHING is wrong. Plan and simple.

runnerchick69

So just a couple of things I noticed on my cruise was when we were eating, there were OBVIOUSLY quite a few people on there that were obese and very overweight, so while waiting in line, I heard more than a few times some of them saying "hands aren't tied on this cruise" or "diet is out the door". Of course my first thought was that based on their physical appearance, it doesn't seem that they had any reason to make the statement. Now that's ASSUMING they weren't dieting prior to the cruise, but in reality, they aren't the size they are because of eating normally (in general cases). And let me tell you that there were so many people eating like they were starving when their bodies didn't show that was the case.
I believe you're there to enjoy a vacation, but there has to be a limit to how much you eat, just like in everyday life. I felt bad for one child who was only 12 (I estimated him to be about 185lb) and wanted to ride the Aquaduck ride with his dad (well over 350lbs), but together they were over the weight limit that was safe for 2 people to ride. So each had to go individually.
More the reason that we as people should strive for a more reasonable weight limit so that we can enjoy life more.

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It is hard for me sometimes to listen to people say things like that when we are on vacation. I do believe you should enjoy your vacation and when we were in Cancun last year I did just that. I ate things I might not normally eat and I tried some new things but I also ate tons of fruit and veggies because they were so damn good

When I see people who are obviously not healthy and I hear them making remarks like that I have a hard time not saying something. I'm not doing it to offend anyone but it is because I've been there, I get it and I also know they are not as happy as they could be if they had their weight and health under control. It's such a fine line between what is ok to say and what isn't but as obesity levels continue to climb I wonder if maybe it isn't time to stop worrying about being politically correct or hurting someones feelings and start calling people out. I know for me I wish someone would have just said hey Chris you're fat and you need to do something about it but they danced around it as I continued to get bigger.

alcon79

And I judge. We all do it. Some of us are just more honest about it than others.

THIS! These topics always bring out the how dare you judge crowd, probably because obesity is a sensitive topic. Everybody judges everybody - it's what you do in first impressions. You observe someone and make a decision on them. People need to stop pretending that it doesn't happen.

ninerbuff

I find it interesting that a fitness professional who found himself in a position to need to lose weight is so judgmental of others. You don't know any of those people, or any of their situations.

And if I'm not married to (or partnered with) them or parenting them, it's none of my damned business what anyone else is eating.

Exactly. That is the first thing that I thought. I've never been obese and I've been on a number of cruises. I'm sure this was going on around me everywhere. However, why be so judgemental!? Just enjoy your vacation and mind your own business and make your own food choices.

Because I'm an observant person and it was something I observed. I didn't go up to my stateroom and start making calculations, looking up statistics, etc. I've opined on what I saw. It's okay if you disagree.

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Nansweetnan

No, you missed the metaphor...I would be your friend, IF you were truly supportive. Being supportive means someone you care about has either asked you for your support or you care about them so much that you are unconditionally supportive. When you make "observations" and then report them,well, I feel this is more in the gossip category than supportive category. Overweight people know they are overweight, your observations don't help, they just reinforce the negative and come off sounding mean and judgemental even if you had the best intentions--your communication skills need work. Obesity is a complex condition caused by a multitude of factors, by just saying to someone put the fork down, well, that doesn't work. If I was a fitness trainer, and someone came to me looking for help, I certainly wouldn't use this oversimplification as a tool. Behavior modification is learned not dictated. And btw, I am not an obese person defending my "meat", as used in a earlier post--to compare people's complex behavior to a dogs conditioned behavior is just ridiculous. I think the answer is in the word "love". ELE...look it up on you tube.

ninerbuff

Wow. It's creepy, you're on a cruise looking around, estimating the weight of children. Yikes! Get over yourself!

Lol, you're making an exaggeration. I estimated one childs weight because he was denied riding with his father because of weight safety limits. Yikes somehow that's totally creepy.........

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Barbellsandthimbles

I went on my first cruise this past May with my mother. I had every intention of eating Gluten free (for health reasons) and as healthy as possible. I was also going to workout 5-6 days. Well, little did I know how much food would be shoved down your throat. Oh, and if you aren't at port or doing something else on the ship, people spend time eating and visiting. Food was EVERYWHERE. My diet quickly became derailed, even though I was mindful of what I ate. I was more disgusted with myself than other people. I didn't pay any attention to what others were eating because I was too focused on trying to make the best of my situation (and sometimes failing). I went to the gym several times but was only able to workout 3 days because the gym was packed. Yep...there were no more bikes, treadmills, ellipticals, and the free weights were tied up as well. However, I did get exercise in while at port (rock climbing) as well. All in all, it was a great trip and I gained a couple of pounds, but never once did I look at someone else's plate in disgust.

jkr12

Agreed.

Edited: I meant to agree to a particular post but hit the wrong button
Personally, I pay no attention to anyone else, and certainly don't pass judgment. You never know their stories.

gaerielsky

How about this. Worry about yourself and leave others worry about themselves. You have no idea what the "obese" people were on when they weren't on the cruise so try not to judge others lest they judge you. Maybe they felt you were too restricted in your own eating and weren't enjoying yourself because you were too regimented. You never know. If people want to watch themselves they can, if they don't, they won't and it's a vacation. They may eat healthy and have lost weight that you don't know about because you don't know them. Maybe they just wanted ONE meal to savor, or maybe they planned on eating well on the cruise and then back to their restricted routine when back home.

Most people I know will take FULL advantage of the "all you can eat" aspect of a cruise. I personally don't enjoy cruises because I don't want to have that temptation. For me, at a resort I can avoid the buffet and go into town or go shopping, there's not as much places to go while on a ship even though there is activity and entertainment provided. But the point is, you shouldn't judge people.

Nansweetnan

Amen!

Nansweetnan

How about this. Worry about yourself and leave others worry about themselves. You have no idea what the "obese" people were on when they weren't on the cruise so try not to judge others lest they judge you. Maybe they felt you were too restricted in your own eating and weren't enjoying yourself because you were too regimented. You never know. If people want to watch themselves they can, if they don't, they won't and it's a vacation. They may eat healthy and have lost weight that you don't know about because you don't know them. Maybe they just wanted ONE meal to savor, or maybe they planned on eating well on the cruise and then back to their restricted routine when back home.

Most people I know will take FULL advantage of the "all you can eat" aspect of a cruise. I personally don't enjoy cruises because I don't want to have that temptation. For me, at a resort I can avoid the buffet and go into town or go shopping, there's not as much places to go while on a ship even though there is activity and entertainment provided. But the point is, you shouldn't judge people.

ninerbuff

No, you missed the metaphor...I would be your friend, IF you were truly supportive. Being supportive means someone you care about has either asked you for your support or you care about them so much that you are unconditionally supportive. When you make "observations" and then report them,well, I feel this is more in the gossip category than supportive category. Overweight people know they are overweight, your observations don't help, they just reinforce the negative and come off sounding mean and judgemental even if you had the best intentions--your communication skills need work. Obesity is a complex condition caused by a multitude of factors, by just saying to someone put the fork down, well, that doesn't work. If I was a fitness trainer, and someone came to me looking for help, I certainly wouldn't use this oversimplification as a tool. Behavior modification is learned not dictated. And btw, I am not an obese person defending my "meat", as used in a earlier post--to compare people's complex behavior to a dogs conditioned behavior is just ridiculous. I think the answer is in the word "love". ELE...look it up on you tube.

I have a ton of friends that I support on here (if you could only see my inbox). I "friend" everyone who requests it. I offer free advice. I am a "tough love" trainer and work in a Wellness Clinic where bariatric surgery is performed and we work with patients. Being in the industry for more than 29 years, I've PERSONALLY worked with more obese/overweight people then you probably personally know, so I'm sure I know how obesity works and the how's and what lead up to it.
Here is one thing that is a given..........................you don't get obese by undereating. It's impossible. So while saying "put the fork down" isn't the only solution but a step, you can't deny that the reason people are very overweight/obese is because of overconsumption. What caused/causes it in each individual differs, but that doesn't change that consuming more than you burn will result in weight gain.
I never said a thing to anyone overweight/obese on the ship (nor did I mention exercise or food to thin/fit people either). People here are just looking at my observation as an ATTACK against very overweight/obese people when that's not the case.

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yoovie

im a horrible person and I know it, but hearing unhealthy people talk that way makes me angry.

People always accuse those who went from fit to fat to fit again- of forgetting what its like to be fat, of forgetting how hard it is, of becoming skinny *****es-

but the truth is, if we dont allow ourselves to be disgusted and angered by our past behavior and feel those sharp lessons we learned the hard way...

there is the chance we could allow it to creep back into our lives.

So when we see that toxic, damaging behavior being indulged in by others... we scoff and retreat asap. Hearing those comments about using any excuse not to try.... I just feel like Im allergic to their poisonous thinking.

Going to hell, but i'll be healthy enough to go down fighting.

annelucy

How about not using your views based on eavesdropping other people's conversations as a poor excuse for posting your job credentials as many times as possible as free advertising

ninerbuff

But the point is, you shouldn't judge people.

Like your statement didn't do right?:laugh:

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ninerbuff

How about not using your views based on eavesdropping other people's conversations as a poor excuse for posting your job credentials as many times as possible as free advertising

With FREE advice to those who ask. The villiany.

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IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Nansweetnan

I don't want a war with you. I think some personal observations should remain personal. Not every thought has to be shared--
End war here....:flowerforyou:

No, you missed the metaphor...I would be your friend, IF you were truly supportive. Being supportive means someone you care about has either asked you for your support or you care about them so much that you are unconditionally supportive. When you make "observations" and then report them,well, I feel this is more in the gossip category than supportive category. Overweight people know they are overweight, your observations don't help, they just reinforce the negative and come off sounding mean and judgemental even if you had the best intentions--your communication skills need work. Obesity is a complex condition caused by a multitude of factors, by just saying to someone put the fork down, well, that doesn't work. If I was a fitness trainer, and someone came to me looking for help, I certainly wouldn't use this oversimplification as a tool. Behavior modification is learned not dictated. And btw, I am not an obese person defending my "meat", as used in a earlier post--to compare people's complex behavior to a dogs conditioned behavior is just ridiculous. I think the answer is in the word "love". ELE...look it up on you tube.

I have a ton of friends that I support on here (if you could only see my inbox). I "friend" everyone who requests it. I offer free advice. I am a "tough love" trainer and work in a Wellness Clinic where bariatric surgery is performed and we work with patients. Being in the industry for more than 29 years, I've PERSONALLY worked with more obese/overweight people then you probably personally know, so I'm sure I know how obesity works and the how's and what lead up to it.
Here is one thing that is a given..........................you don't get obese by undereating. It's impossible. So while saying "put the fork down" isn't the only solution but a step, you can't deny that the reason people are very overweight/obese is because of overconsumption. What caused/causes it in each individual differs, but that doesn't change that consuming more than you burn will result in weight gain.
I never said a thing to anyone overweight/obese on the ship (nor did I mention exercise or food to thin/fit people either). People here are just looking at my observation as an ATTACK against very overweight/obese people when that's not the case.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Sharyn913

It's sad when kids are that overweight. You would think it would be a wake up call.

gaerielsky

But the point is, you shouldn't judge people.

Like your statement didn't do right?:laugh:

All I did was hold up a mirror. if you feel judged, it's on you.

bluefox9er

Cruises are probably the best example of the overweight over-indulging..there's something about the buffets on a cruise vacation that brings out serious gluttony in people.

auroranflash

People need to take better care of themselves. Not doing so will lead to hefty medical bills, and, more importantly, time lost due to illness and early death which no amount of money can get back.

People have such a warped idea of diet and exercise, losing weight, eating right, etc, etc

That's why it makes me sick to see people marketing 'the next big thing for weight loss', magic diet pills, exercise machines that work one muscle group but will somehow tone your entire body and give you the life you've always wanted in only 15 minutes a day, sugar and sodium-saturated "fat free" foods, detox diets, every schtick imaginable to make a buck off of people's confusion.

Very few people actually understand that there is no magic behind weight loss. For most, it is as simple as eating a reasonable amount and making sure you are decently active.

Ninerbuff is one of the few people who takes a few moments out of his day to answer questions and help debunk the magic mumbo jumbo that the diet industry has inundated the public with over the past few decades. Trust me, they're not putting those products out there to change your life or fix your fat, they're doing it to make a buck any way they know how. Anyone who joins the fight to put an end to that nonsense and actually address the real problem gets a sparkly gold star in my book.

super_monty

I think we should be more judgemental if anything, i was fat for some years and it was my fault no one elses, even if there are other factors.

You start to think its the normal as people are getting bigger in general, well it's not normal and fat parents are passing this plague onto their chilren and that is poor parenting no matter how you look at it.

I constantly see poor parents stuffing their kids full of Coke, processed junk, sweets, fat , sugar and next to nothing healthy. So yes we should judge them for hurting their children.

kingkong123

These threads are THE BEST

BigDaddyBRC

So nice of you to pass on your personal prejudices. I will add in you are "Assuming" and you know where that leads; however, I do not, so I am out of that equation. If you want to pass judgement or speak of your own prejudices, take it somewhere that calls for negativity.

I would despise having you as a personal trainer...so much bias and self-righteousness. You had to find your own path to a healthier living, living, let them. And with that, let them eat cake! If they so choose, that is their decision, and not yours. If you want to help someone, offer suggestions to THEM, and not post it on a board in which they will never see.

ninerbuff

But the point is, you shouldn't judge people.

Like your statement didn't do right?:laugh:

All I did was hold up a mirror. if you feel judged, it's on you.

I'm looking at the back of the mirror.

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yoovie

If you are more than 50 pounds overweight, and you're spilling out of your clothing, and eating disgustingly unhealthy food, all the time, and you dont exercise, and you dont want to exercise, and you dont want to be healthy, and you dont want to do anything good for yourself, and you look for any excuse at all to not have to try, to stay comfortable in your big puffy nest that you carry around on your skeleton like a beanbag, and mutter with your chubby women friends under your breath, cursing the fit girls and the naturally thin girls, and chugging coca cola and judging every healthy individual that passes you, oh it must be nice to be as thin as you are, oh look youre eating rabbit food again, real men loves curves, youre built like a teenage boy, you need to eat more, no man wants a bone- bones are for dogs, look at her she thinks she better than us, yeah when this vacations over, Im go on me a lil. diet again. No you dont need to lose anything, you look healthy sha...

^ IF youre one of THEM - you can bet your cottage cheese *kitten* that Im judging you. based on your words AND actions. Just like you judge me for eating right ALL the time instead of just before an event, and just like you judge me for always waking up early and exercising my *kitten* off 'like im better than you'.

...sorry for the rant.... that was directed at.... my roommate and entire neighborhood.

NotThePest

ninerbuff,
Have you ever left a chair out on the Kitchen table, and the dog got up there and grabbed like 3 or 4 hamburger patties just as you turn around? You corner the dog and its trying to scarf the food down as fast as it can before you can take it away. While its horking down those patties its simultaniously trying to growl and snarl at you to warn you to get back. Its thinking that it landed a huge score and now you are attacking it trying to take the very thing that it currently loves sooo much. It has no idea you are trying to help it.
All you are reall trying to do is keep the animal from choking to death or puke all over your house later. You mean no real harm.

Well that is what you have done here: You have attacked the sacred "All you can eat cruise" and now you have several cornered dogs snarling at you while they are horking down their food. Some people dont want help, they just want to be left in the corner horking down their hamburgers as they snarl at you for trying to help them.

I feel your pain, but you cant help those that dont want help.

Lol, I'm Asian.:laugh: :laugh: If that happened to me with the dog, it would have been lunch!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I hear what you're saying and if it just reaches just one person, then the effort is worth it to me.

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That's it ninerbuff can I ask will you be my friend? I luv it and I luv all the dog metaphors. Dogs, hamburgers, eating, throwing rocks, barking ...

But in all seriousness I'm the grandmother (African American, as you can tell by my pic) of an Afro-Asian granddaughter who has diabetes running through both sides of her gene pool, both set of grandparents and I’m concerned for her health (she is sitting on my lap). I was a committed Couch Potato, who was diagnosed with Type II diabetes in 2001, got busy exercising Feb of 2006, the strongest leg of the three legged stool of meds, proper food and exercise, at least for me. Could only do 15 minutes of fast walking when I began but can now do a 2.5/3hr aerobic exercise session from time to time (twice a month). I went from a size 20 to a size 8; 179 pounds to 132 in six years (5’3”), I focused on my glucose numbers and not the scale so the weight came off after 3.5 years. I also have metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, cholesterol and type II and taking meds. I dropped from four meds for diabetes to one, Metformin. It seems my liver is on high speed glucose producing mode.

I read everything I can get my hands on and afford (I keep my books for reference) about diabetes, except popular magazine articles. I own The Handbook of Exercise in Diabetes and I'm looking to purchase another text book on Exercise and Diabetes (Contemporary). I’m not looking for someone to kick me in the butt; I’m just looking for someone like minded. I fired my first endo (he didn’t want to work with me and be a partner in managing my situation) and found a fabulous one who is also a nutritionist, expert on obesity and does research. She tried to fire me as a patient because she said, “You can manage on your own,” but I wouldn’t go. Getting an appointment with her is a 5 to 7 month process/wait. :happy: