Dismayed overhearing comments............
Replies
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Wow this topic was popular!
I just wanted to say that I think ninerbuff's comments following the original post were more insightful of his attitude - I honestly think that the tone of the first post was what made it sound judgmental, not the content. I don't think he is a terrible trainer, person, or fatty-fat-fat-person judger. I think that his post was written as an observation and wasn't carefully constructed to avoid sounding judgmental. It happens.
There are a few snarling dogs in here, yes, but there are also thoughtful, hardworking people who have a harder time than others losing weight. The simple fact is, this is a health website and we are trying our best. My best is probably a lot worse than many of the fit people's best. I like to think when I reach my goal, I will be that much more satisfied with myself than they can ever be, because I came from a much worse place!
Anyway, I just wanted to say that OP's initial post doesn't seem hurtful when taken in consideration with the rest of his observations. But I also want to say that a lot of the comments on here WERE mean. Yes, we all judge. Yes, no one needs to be sugar coating things or enabling people by saying "oh its fine, eat 6000 calories today, you earned it!"
But calling someone disgusting, weak-willed, hypocritical, offensive, stupid, or implying any variety of those things (not OP, but others in this thread) based on their eating habits and/or weight is not productive. Not for them, not for you, and not for the people on this site. I am so thankful for honesty and encouragement, and that includes a kick in the butt when I get off track, but I asked for it. Some people aren't ready for it, especially not from a stranger, and especially considering obesity is often times tied to emotional issues.0 -
This thread is awesome. Lets recap for the late commers:
It starts out with good intent and a simple observation made on a cruise ship about some obese people saying that they were putting their diet on hold. The misunderstanding comes in because these were not serious dieters or people looking for a change. By their descriptions from the OP, they were just regular old fat people who probably start new "diets" every week. We all know the type. The comedy is them saying that they were putting it on hold when obviously they had never seriously started it.
All is going well, then about 8 to 10 posts in someone takes offense, sees their opportunity to jump all over this guy in make him into a "fat person hater" . Maybe they just needed a hug or something, but instead they choose to fire up the torches and come after the OP. Then the dam broke and every sensitive obese person in town got wind of the witch hunt, and came to share their sob story about how what they eat is no ones business but their own. and how they can be fat if they want to, and its not the OP's business.
In a nut shell this thread seprates people into two groups. Those that know they have a problem and want to change and those that want to keep making yet more excuses to remain fat..
Lets get back to the action.....0 -
This thread is awesome. Lets recap for the late commers:
It starts out with good intent and a simple observation made on a cruise ship about some obese people saying that they were putting their diet on hold. The misunderstanding comes in because these were not serious dieters or people looking for a change. By their descriptions from the OP, they were just regular old fat people who probably start new "diets" every week. We all know the type. The comedy is them saying that they were putting it on hold when obviously they had never seriously started it.
All is going well, then about 8 to 10 posts in someone takes offense, sees their opportunity to jump all over this guy in make him into a "fat person hater" . Maybe they just needed a hug or something, but instead they choose to fire up the torches and come after the OP. Then the dam broke and every sensitive obese person in town got wind of the witch hunt, and came to share their sob story about how what they eat is no ones business but their own. and how they can be fat if they want to, and its not the OP's business.
In a nut shell this thread seprates people into two groups. Those that know they have a problem and want to change and those that want to keep making yet more excuses to remain fat..
Lets get back to the action.....
Thanks for the example of "not productive"! And right under my comment, too - perfect 0 -
Thing is where did I bully them? I didn't stare them down and make sneering faces, confront them for bad choices, or called them names. To bully someone you have to try to cause fear or intimidate them by means of force. Did no such thing.oh my ****
I am incredibly disappointed with the majority of people who have commented on this post (NOT ALL!!)
THIS IS A WEBSITE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, AND LOSE WEIGHT AND BE HEALTHY
THIS IS A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE COME FOR HELP, SUPPORT AND NOT TO BE JUDGED
AND HERE HALF OF YOU ARE, STANDING AROUND ON CRUISES, PROBABLY IN MALLS AND MOVIE THEATERS,
JUDGING HEAVY PEOPLE FOR SAYING THEY ARE TAKING A WEEK OFF THEIR DIET BECAUSE THEY ARE ON VACATION
THEY ARE ALLOWED!
YOU DONT KNOW THAT THEY ARNT ON A DIET BACK HOME, AND THAT THEY HAVNT LOST 100 POUNDS
I AM HEAVY, I HAVE LOST 21 POUNDS, I STILL HAVE A CHEAT DAY AND SAY "I AM GOING TO ENJOY THIS BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN DOING SO GOOD"
SO STOP FREAKIN JUDGING PEOPLE AND GROW UP
YOU DONT KNOW THAT THEY ARNT TRYING AND FOR YOU TO SIT HERE ON A WEBSITE LIKE THIS
AND BASH THOSE PEOPLE IS DISGUSTING.
Rewarding yourself with food, thats a good idea. When you go for a run, do you treat yourself by running AWAY from the finish line?
Why did you lose 21 pounds? Did you judge for yourself that it was unhealthy, negative and you needed to lose it? Or did it happen by accident against your will?
This is a website for people who want to change for the better... and indulging in excuses is DISGUSTING. And for those that HAVE already changed.... so is the rest of the behavior he described, if we dont detest it and understand why its so awful, then there's always a risk that we'll fall back into it.
NO. THANK. YOU.
You can defend a gluttonous overindulgent lifestyle all you please, it wont make it healthy, ever.
lol okay. I dont reward myself with food, everyone is allowed to have a little cheat food in moderation, like if one time this week i want lets say mac and cheese, i will only have a small serving of it, because i dont want it to ruin all of my progress. And i made the decision to change my life, and i only eat clean healthy food 99 percent of the time, i work out twice a day, 5 times a week, cardio , weights, zumba, running. I get better sleep now and genuinaly care for myself, i have another 88 pounds to go. i have chosen to make this lifestyle choice, thats why I am here for myself, and i am damn proud of myself
but it was my decision to get to this place, and do this for me
like it is those peoples decisions how they treat their bodies. you may not like it, but they are not you and you are not them.
and i am not defending an over indulgent lifestyle, i never over indulge anymore, i am defending those people who are getting bullied behind their backs, because i know what it has been like to be bullied all of mine until i changed my life around.
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She was responding to me post, not yours, sorry.
i was speaking badly about the daily behavior of obese people with no desire to get healthy and how I hate it so I never slip back into bad habits.
I dont hate the people, I just hate what they are doing to their bodies because they dont care about themselves.0 -
This thread is awesome. Lets recap for the late commers:
It starts out with good intent and a simple observation made on a cruise ship about some obese people saying that they were putting their diet on hold. The misunderstanding comes in because these were not serious dieters or people looking for a change. By their descriptions from the OP, they were just regular old fat people who probably start new "diets" every week. We all know the type. The comedy is them saying that they were putting it on hold when obviously they had never seriously started it.
All is going well, then about 8 to 10 posts in someone takes offense, sees their opportunity to jump all over this guy in make him into a "fat person hater" . Maybe they just needed a hug or something, but instead they choose to fire up the torches and come after the OP. Then the dam broke and every sensitive obese person in town got wind of the witch hunt, and came to share their sob story about how what they eat is no ones business but their own. and how they can be fat if they want to, and its not the OP's business.
In a nut shell this thread seprates people into two groups. Those that know they have a problem and want to change and those that want to keep making yet more excuses to remain fat..
Lets get back to the action.....
Hysterical!! :laugh:0 -
Your insight from a totally neutral view is one everyone should read.Wow this topic was popular!
I just wanted to say that I think ninerbuff's comments following the original post were more insightful of his attitude - I honestly think that the tone of the first post was what made it sound judgmental, not the content. I don't think he is a terrible trainer, person, or fatty-fat-fat-person judger. I think that his post was written as an observation and wasn't carefully constructed to avoid sounding judgmental. It happens.
There are a few snarling dogs in here, yes, but there are also thoughtful, hardworking people who have a harder time than others losing weight. The simple fact is, this is a health website and we are trying our best. My best is probably a lot worse than many of the fit people's best. I like to think when I reach my goal, I will be that much more satisfied with myself than they can ever be, because I came from a much worse place!
Anyway, I just wanted to say that OP's initial post doesn't seem hurtful when taken in consideration with the rest of his observations. But I also want to say that a lot of the comments on here WERE mean. Yes, we all judge. Yes, no one needs to be sugar coating things or enabling people by saying "oh its fine, eat 6000 calories today, you earned it!"
But calling someone disgusting, weak-willed, hypocritical, offensive, stupid, or implying any variety of those things (not OP, but others in this thread) based on their eating habits and/or weight is not productive. Not for them, not for you, and not for the people on this site. I am so thankful for honesty and encouragement, and that includes a kick in the butt when I get off track, but I asked for it. Some people aren't ready for it, especially not from a stranger, and especially considering obesity is often times tied to emotional issues.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
So just a couple of things I noticed on my cruise was when we were eating, there were OBVIOUSLY quite a few people on there that were obese and very overweight, so while waiting in line, I heard more than a few times some of them saying "hands aren't tied on this cruise" or "diet is out the door". Of course my first thought was that based on their physical appearance, it doesn't seem that they had any reason to make the statement. Now that's ASSUMING they weren't dieting prior to the cruise, but in reality, they aren't the size they are because of eating normally (in general cases). And let me tell you that there were so many people eating like they were starving when their bodies didn't show that was the case.
I believe you're there to enjoy a vacation, but there has to be a limit to how much you eat, just like in everyday life. I felt bad for one child who was only 12 (I estimated him to be about 185lb) and wanted to ride the Aquaduck ride with his dad (well over 350lbs), but together they were over the weight limit that was safe for 2 people to ride. So each had to go individually.
More the reason that we as people should strive for a more reasonable weight limit so that we can enjoy life more.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!0 -
I have a friend who's an alcoholic. The guy seems like he's always drinking each time I see him and it's not unusual to smell alcohol on his breath. With 2 kids, I get very angry with him about how he doesn't think his drinking isn't affecting his life.She was responding to me post, not yours, sorry.
i was speaking badly about the daily behavior of obese people with no desire to get healthy and how I hate it so I never slip back into bad habits.
I dont hate the people, I just hate what they are doing to their bodies because they dont care about themselves.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I think that you may be "hung up" on a diet being a regimen to lose or gain weight. But everyone has a diet even if it is a poor one. The word "diet" simply means "habitual nurishment"..... so they were right... they are probably eating outside the habitual nurishment.
With that said, I just want to share something with you.... you missed it.... these folks were feeling guilty and hence the remark. They probably agree with you, too. The new they were over-eating and they new it was not the best choice, but they settled on that choice... all the while feeling like jerks. Sad, really.0 -
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Subjective. But that's what this site is about.I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Everyone is on their individual journey toward health. I pay no attention to the comments of others because I know that their journey is not mine and vice versa. My grandmother lived to be 96 and she was 250lbs. She was never ill. My great grandmother was 200lbs and she died at 103. She was never ill. My father has been an athlete all of his life and never overweight. He is diabetic and at one point was insulin dependent. I am old enough to know that people have to find their own way and my thoughts about it do not matter. When people are ready they will make a change. When they are not ready, they will remain stagnant.
I soooo agree with you0 -
So just a couple of things I noticed on my cruise was when we were eating, there were OBVIOUSLY quite a few people on there that were obese and very overweight, so while waiting in line, I heard more than a few times some of them saying "hands aren't tied on this cruise" or "diet is out the door". Of course my first thought was that based on their physical appearance, it doesn't seem that they had any reason to make the statement. Now that's ASSUMING they weren't dieting prior to the cruise, but in reality, they aren't the size they are because of eating normally (in general cases). And let me tell you that there were so many people eating like they were starving when their bodies didn't show that was the case.
I believe you're there to enjoy a vacation, but there has to be a limit to how much you eat, just like in everyday life. I felt bad for one child who was only 12 (I estimated him to be about 185lb) and wanted to ride the Aquaduck ride with his dad (well over 350lbs), but together they were over the weight limit that was safe for 2 people to ride. So each had to go individually.
More the reason that we as people should strive for a more reasonable weight limit so that we can enjoy life more.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!
Then it sounds like you need to read more.0 -
Subjective. But that's what this site is about.I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This site is about judging people? I'm sorry, I was thinking this site was for motivation and support. Ever since I have started on this site, which has been almost a year I have seen posts from you that are absolutely horrible. You think you know EVERYTHING. The truth is I would never hire you as a trainer or even go to the gym you train at. You are the epitome of a horrible person.... belittling overweight people when your job AS A TRAINER is to help them. You are a sick man. I'm not clicking back on here so there is no need to even respond to this!0 -
Thank you for the re-cap, this should be reposted at the top of each additional page, so that we don't have to read pages of comments to get current.This thread is awesome. Lets recap for the late commers:
It starts out with good intent and a simple observation made on a cruise ship about some obese people saying that they were putting their diet on hold. The misunderstanding comes in because these were not serious dieters or people looking for a change. By their descriptions from the OP, they were just regular old fat people who probably start new "diets" every week. We all know the type. The comedy is them saying that they were putting it on hold when obviously they had never seriously started it.
All is going well, then about 8 to 10 posts in someone takes offense, sees their opportunity to jump all over this guy in make him into a "fat person hater" . Maybe they just needed a hug or something, but instead they choose to fire up the torches and come after the OP. Then the dam broke and every sensitive obese person in town got wind of the witch hunt, and came to share their sob story about how what they eat is no ones business but their own. and how they can be fat if they want to, and its not the OP's business.
In a nut shell this thread seprates people into two groups. Those that know they have a problem and want to change and those that want to keep making yet more excuses to remain fat..
Lets get back to the action.....0 -
I find it interesting that a fitness professional who found himself in a position to need to lose weight is so judgmental of others. You don't know any of those people, or any of their situations.
And if I'm not married to (or partnered with) them or parenting them, it's none of my damned business what anyone else is eating.
this!0 -
I'm not clicking back on here so there is no need to even respond to this!
Winning!!!
--Charlie Sheen0 -
I find it interesting that a fitness professional who found himself in a position to need to lose weight is so judgmental of others. You don't know any of those people, or any of their situations.
And if I'm not married to (or partnered with) them or parenting them, it's none of my damned business what anyone else is eating.
this!
This is all fine and dandy, but with this attitude you probably should not be on a web site to lose weight where you keep a food journal that is built to be shared and get feed back on.
Yes there is also the option to keep it all to yourself and do it on your own, but in that case dont try to come participate in discussion forums. You cant have it all.0 -
Everyone is on their individual journey toward health. I pay no attention to the comments of others because I know that their journey is not mine and vice versa. My grandmother lived to be 96 and she was 250lbs. She was never ill. My great grandmother was 200lbs and she died at 103. She was never ill. My father has been an athlete all of his life and never overweight. He is diabetic and at one point was insulin dependent. I am old enough to know that people have to find their own way and my thoughts about it do not matter. When people are ready they will make a change. When they are not ready, they will remain stagnant.
Amen. I wished people would stop judging others. ike my grandmother always says, "Sweep in front of your own doorstep". Everyone is not meant to be skinny/thin/whatever you want to call it. You can still be large and healthy point period blank Ugh some of these threads are so biased. I'd expect a lot more intelligence coming from someone who has all of these cetrifications and alphabet letters behind their name0 -
I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!
Well at least you post is not judgemental or belittleing. Pathetic indeed! Could you be more hypocritical??0 -
Subjective in the way you took the original post. I have a large friends list because a large majority of them agree with how I do support and motivate on the site.
Subjective. But that's what this site is about.I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This site is about judging people? I'm sorry, I was thinking this site was for motivation and support. Ever since I have started on this site, which has been almost a year I have seen posts from you that are absolutely horrible. You think you know EVERYTHING. The truth is I would never hire you as a trainer or even go to the gym you train at. You are the epitome of a horrible person.... belittling overweight people when your job AS A TRAINER is to help them. You are a sick man. I'm not clicking back on here so there is no need to even respond to this!
Not to go off on a tangent, but not everyone is ever going to agree with my philosophy on how to lose weight. If you don't that's fine, but I'm not the "horrible" person you're trying to make me out to be.
So again, your view of me is subjective.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Subjective in the way you took the original post. I have a large friends list because a large majority of them agree with how I do support and motivate on the site.
Subjective. But that's what this site is about.I have never read something more judgemental. And I have to say that coming from a "certified personal trainer" I find it a little pathetic. Your job is to help people NOT belittle them!
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This site is about judging people? I'm sorry, I was thinking this site was for motivation and support. Ever since I have started on this site, which has been almost a year I have seen posts from you that are absolutely horrible. You think you know EVERYTHING. The truth is I would never hire you as a trainer or even go to the gym you train at. You are the epitome of a horrible person.... belittling overweight people when your job AS A TRAINER is to help them. You are a sick man. I'm not clicking back on here so there is no need to even respond to this!
Not to go off on a tangent, but not everyone is ever going to agree with my philosophy on how to lose weight. If you don't that's fine, but I'm not the "horrible" person you're trying to make me out to be.
So again, your view of me is subjective.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
ninerbuff, you are right on. No where in the thread have you been anywhere even close to as mean as the post from this guy. ninerbuff's posts are most often thoughful and packed with good info. He doesn't attack people. *sigh*
Come on , people. This name calling is unnecessary. Just, wow.0 -
I have lots of intelligence especially when it comes to teaching people on how to lose weight. Gorging oneself on a cruise isn't one of them.Everyone is on their individual journey toward health. I pay no attention to the comments of others because I know that their journey is not mine and vice versa. My grandmother lived to be 96 and she was 250lbs. She was never ill. My great grandmother was 200lbs and she died at 103. She was never ill. My father has been an athlete all of his life and never overweight. He is diabetic and at one point was insulin dependent. I am old enough to know that people have to find their own way and my thoughts about it do not matter. When people are ready they will make a change. When they are not ready, they will remain stagnant.
Amen. I wished people would stop judging others. ike my grandmother always says, "Sweep in front of your own doorstep". Everyone is not meant to be skinny/thin/whatever you want to call it. You can still be large and healthy point period blank Ugh some of these threads are so biased. I'd expect a lot more intelligence coming from someone who has all of these cetrifications and alphabet letters behind their name
Very few large people are "healthy". Even NFL linemen have a high rate of heart disease and health maladies. I'm not stating this. This is verified by the NFL, CDC, AMA, and ADA.
Weight is directly related to health issues. The more one weighs in contrast to one's frame, the higher the risk for health issues. This isn't new news.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0
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