Putting your KID on a leash

Bahet

I fail to see how a child who is leashed = brat. Explain please. I've been to numerous places all over the US and Europe. The kids who were on leashes were invariably close to their parents who were watching them. It's the kids who were allowed to treat everywhere like their own personal playground who were the brats. They are the ones running in the aisles in grocery stores, tripping people up in amusement parks, making people slam on their brakes, getting in the way of waiters/waitresses, taking toys out of my kid's stroller when they were little, and creating dangerous situations in pools.

IamSheaMc

My grandmother was a single mother of 3! all of which she took care of no babysitter(babysitters are good just saying she did it alone)
She never leashed my mom, my uncle or my aunt. I'm sure it wasn't easy but for some strange reason they behaved and didn't run into danger. lol

mommared53

I think it's so funny that some who don't believe in using a harness (leash) on children believe that their children or relatives or kids they babysit or whatever are/were/will be so well behaved and never got or get into any trouble etc, etc. I just laugh and think "yeah right". :laugh: Someone is either in denial or lying. I don't know any child who is that perfect. I've known plenty of those kids that were so "well behaved". Just wait until they get a little older or start school or become teenagers or are away from the influence of their parents. You'd be surprised what the "good" kids do or say or get into. :laugh: I'm not saying every parent should use a harness, but I do think it is a good tool to use if the parent chooses to.

beccyleigh

to those critising people who use a harness but yet themselves use a stroller or car seat or any kind of home child safety aid, you are basically hypocrites. If you are such great parents (!) then why do you need those things too.

Imprisoning your child in a stroller if they are able to walk is just cruel imo, if they are old enough to walk then why not give them some freedom instead of forcing them to stay in a buggy or even worse, stretch their little arms up above their heads to hold your hand at all times. What chance to discover or investigate their world when stuck to your hand. What horrible horrible parents you are.

A for leaving one or more other children unguarded whilst you run around after an unharnessed child that has slipped away is basically neglect imo. I wonder how smug you'd feel if you came back from running after that little "well behaved" runner & found the child you abandoned missing or at the bottom of a pool? Really some of you need to pull you heads out of your behinds, drop your judgment of those parents who do wish to ensure the safety of their children whilst out without risk of danger to that child or any others & get over yourselves.

You aren't better parents, in fact I'd suggest you are worse.

beccyleigh

That nothing has happened to one of your perfect little angels whilst out doesn't mean to say that it couldn't have. It is just dumb luck that nothing bad has happened, no matter how perfect you think you are, children, no matter how well behaved you think they might be, can & do dart of in a second. If some of us chose to improve the odds of preventing that bad thing happening by using safety aids then I say it makes us pretty damn great parents.

The assumption by many of you hypocrites that using a harness is a way of ignoring the child, where do you get this idea from, how can you ignore a child that is attached to you by a harness, if anything it makes you even more aware of them than if they were walking without restraint. One wonders just how, if o many of you hypocrites criticizing others know what it is like to use a harness, as so many of you claim that you never had not ever would. This thread has such a huge amount of trollope spouted it's actually really sad.

beccyleigh

My grandmother was a single mother of 3!
She never leashed my mom, my uncle or my aunt. I'm sure it wasn't easy but for some strange reason they behaved and didn't run into danger. lol

were you there? how do you know they didn't run off. I highly doubt that at one time or another at least one of those kids wandered off & your granny had the panic moment where she couldn't find them. quite frankly everything you post is just bs.

My grandmother had 12 kids & she must have been so much better than your grandmother by your reasoning cause not only did she have 4 times the amount of children but she didn't lose any of them, in so much as they all reached adult hood without staying lost.? Really, are you trying to sound as naive as you do?

mcrowe1016

My grandmother was a single mother of 3!
She never leashed my mom, my uncle or my aunt. I'm sure it wasn't easy but for some strange reason they behaved and didn't run into danger. lol

were you there? how do you know they didn't run off. I highly doubt that at one time or another at least one of those kids wandered off & your granny had the panic moment where she couldn't find them. quite frankly everything you post is just bs.

My grandmother had 12 kids & she must have been so much better than your grandmother by your reasoning cause not only did she have 4 times the amount of children but she didn't lose any of them, in so much as they all reached adult hood without staying lost.? Really, are you trying to sound as naive as you do?

So if your grandmother raised 12 kids with no leash, why should someone with only a few kids use one?

beccyleigh

Umm, I don't see any mention in my post about harnesses? careful now.

mcrowe1016

Umm, I don't see any mention in my post about harnesses? careful now.

(Quotes from two previous posts where you mention harnesses)

The assumption by many of you hypocrites that using a harness is a way of ignoring the child, where do you get this idea from, how can you ignore a child that is attached to you by a harness, if anything it makes you even more aware of them than if they were walking without restraint.

to those critising people who use a harness but yet themselves use a stroller or car seat or any kind of home child safety aid, you are basically hypocrites. If you are such great parents (!) then why do you need those things too.

Let me clarify: I don't give a rats *kitten* if you use a leash to drag your kid behind you while holding a candy bar in front of them saying "come her boy! come here! good boy!"

I do think that you saying that your grandmother had 12 kids supported the very logic you were arguing against. That is what I was pointing out.

I also think it is illogical to pretend that we are not having a conversation about kids on leashes, just because you did not mention the word harness in 1 out of your 3 posts.

beccyleigh

whether she used one or not I have no idea only that all 12 of her live birth children lived till adulthood. Isn't that the fundamental job of a parent, to keep your kids safe & healthy? I mean **** I had no idea, HOW you got to that point was such an issue for so many. They must have so very little else to worry about that how other poeple protect their children is such an issue? If my son grows up without being maimed or damaged in some way I will consider it a job done well. How you or anyone else chooses to get to that point is your call & how I do is mine right?

How is one way better than the other if the end result is the same.

(n.b. in case some cant understand talking in context, I am specifically referring to the physical well being of your child, of course there are other things that you should be doing as a parent such a education, morals etc but here we are specifically talking about safety, mkay?)

beccyleigh

actually my post about my grandmother was in response to the poster claiming her grandmother never lost a child, how the hell would she know. quite frankly no one gives a **** what her grandmother or my grandmother did. We are talking about what people do now.

70+ years ago when my grandmother started having kids people did a whole lot of things that we don't consider doing now, things change, parenting advice changes, as long as the child is not being harmed then I am pressed to see how this is even an issue?

JanSmelly

And what, you think she popped out as a four year old? What they're taught as babies and toddlers is the foundation for their behavior. she's been old enough to be reasoned with and taught for years... nature doesn't just say *poof* she's four, time to be reasonable!

EDIT:Corrected quotes boxes because it annoyed me..

I have a feeling you don't spend any time traveling or doing activities which require extra precautions while dealing with a 2 or three year old child. I suspect you've spent the majority of her toddlerhood at home, out of crowds, really not doing anything interesting enough for her to care about running off. It's things like amusement parks, zoos, hiking and traveling that usually require something like a leash. Not grocery stores, the mall or your local park. And of course you can try to talk to and discipline a two year old until you are blue in the face; they are too young to reason with, not 'bratty.'

You assume a lot! And you'd be wrong, not that you care, and no, two year olds are not too young to reason with, but you keep telling yourself what ever helps you sleep better at night! I don't need a leash to keep my daughter safe, that's why my eyes watch her and my hand holds hers*when needed*. She's my child, not a pet that I don't really want to deal with but want to keep in range. And I agree Amusement parks, water parks, pools(she's such a water baby, she loves to swim n "dive" taught her to swim last summer@3yrs), hiking, walking around town and traveling do require more attention, but where else would her father n I have our attention on a family outing?

The excuses people make when they allow their children to grow into brats;
alll children arent the same (true but they are little sponges who crave structure)
all childrent dont respond to comands (they wont if you just decide to try it out of the blue, or when in public and not at home)
that's what children do they are curious (all children not just yours, yet others are kept safe without a leash and behave)
1-2yr olds dont listen (ahh yes they do!)
my kid dont want anyone to hold his hand (who's the parent again?)

how will they learn if you give up and just say "ok you don't want to behave and let me hold your hand, ok ima leash you, it's easier" lol

First, I am not sure why I am responding to you since you seem have failed to tell us exactly how you go about disciplining a young child correctly and have some warped sense of car seat use, but I am nursing my daughter, so why not?

I am not interested in ruling my children with an iron fist. Like adults, they have their preferences, and as a parent it's my job to treat them with respect. This doesn't mean allowing them to run around the store and pull things off the shelf. This doesn't mean they run the show.

Good parenting isn't permissive parenting.

Good parenting is not authoritative parenting.

Good parenting is respecting your child by offering reasonable choices. "Do you want to ride in the stroller, hold my hand, or wear the backpack (leash)?" This allows the child to have freedom of choice, without the conflict. They feel like they have control of the situation and are less likely to act out. You are teaching them that their opinion matters, but there are limits to what they can and can't do.

Of course what the hell do I know I only have 3 well behaved, curious, and wonderful children?

beccyleigh

And what, you think she popped out as a four year old? What they're taught as babies and toddlers is the foundation for their behavior. she's been old enough to be reasoned with and taught for years... nature doesn't just say *poof* she's four, time to be reasonable!

EDIT:Corrected quotes boxes because it annoyed me..

I have a feeling you don't spend any time traveling or doing activities which require extra precautions while dealing with a 2 or three year old child. I suspect you've spent the majority of her toddlerhood at home, out of crowds, really not doing anything interesting enough for her to care about running off. It's things like amusement parks, zoos, hiking and traveling that usually require something like a leash. Not grocery stores, the mall or your local park. And of course you can try to talk to and discipline a two year old until you are blue in the face; they are too young to reason with, not 'bratty.'

You assume a lot! And you'd be wrong, not that you care, and no, two year olds are not too young to reason with, but you keep telling yourself what ever helps you sleep better at night! I don't need a leash to keep my daughter safe, that's why my eyes watch her and my hand holds hers*when needed*. She's my child, not a pet that I don't really want to deal with but want to keep in range. And I agree Amusement parks, water parks, pools(she's such a water baby, she loves to swim n "dive" taught her to swim last summer@3yrs), hiking, walking around town and traveling do require more attention, but where else would her father n I have our attention on a family outing?

The excuses people make when they allow their children to grow into brats;
alll children arent the same (true but they are little sponges who crave structure)
all childrent dont respond to comands (they wont if you just decide to try it out of the blue, or when in public and not at home)
that's what children do they are curious (all children not just yours, yet others are kept safe without a leash and behave)
1-2yr olds dont listen (ahh yes they do!)
my kid dont want anyone to hold his hand (who's the parent again?)

how will they learn if you give up and just say "ok you don't want to behave and let me hold your hand, ok ima leash you, it's easier" lol

First, I am not sure why I am responding to you since you seem have failed to tell us exactly how you go about disciplining a young child correctly and have some warped sense of car seat use, but I am nursing my daughter, so why not?

I am not interested in ruling my children with an iron fist. Like adults, they have their preferences, and as a parent it's my job to treat them with respect. This doesn't mean allowing them to run around the store and pull things off the shelf. This doesn't mean they run the show.

Good parenting isn't permissive parenting.

Good parenting is not authoritative parenting.

Good parenting is respecting your child by offering reasonable choices. "Do you want to ride in the stroller, hold my hand, or wear the backpack (leash)?" This allows the child to have freedom of choice, without the conflict. They feel like they have control of the situation and are less likely to act out. You are teaching them that their opinion matters, but there are limits to what they can and can't do.

Of course what the hell do I know I only have 3 well behaved, curious, and wonderful children?

:flowerforyou:

beccyleigh

I suppose it could be put in another context.

This website is for weight loss & fitness.

People come here because they need to lose weight and/or improve their fitness levels

Yet we all know & probably have been told by our parents or health professionals at one time or another growing up, not be greedy, not to over eat, we know as fully formed adults with our own brains developed, that over eating, eating the wrong foods & not taking enough exercise is bad for us.

Yet here we are, with all the knowledge in our brains, the massive amounts of information in the press, tv, interwbs etcs that support this information and yet, here we all are, needing to lose weight, trying to control our urges to eat the bad stuff or just too much of the good stuff. Somehow at some time or another our impulse urges took over & we, even with all the information, were unable to control it.

How is it then that we, adults with fully developed brains are not able to heed that advice, we clearly haven't as we are all here and yet, some of you expect that your children should be able to grasp the information your provide them & heed it at every single situation.

Surprisingly children, without the benefit of fully developed brains or impulse control, curious at everything around them, are not always able to follow those instructions or advise & neither are you, fully brain developed, grown up people?. Strange that huh?

KimmyEB

Let me clarify: I don't give a rats *kitten* if you use a leash to drag your kid behind you while holding a candy bar in front of them saying "come her boy! come here! good boy!"

I do think that you saying that your grandmother had 12 kids supported the very logic you were arguing against. That is what I was pointing out.

I also think it is illogical to pretend that we are not having a conversation about kids on leashes, just because you did not mention the word harness in 1 out of your 3 posts.

My mind cannot grasp the lack of "logic" in everything you said. Careful how you go about throwing the word "illogical" at others.

Also, how often do you see someone "dragging a kid behind them on a leash" waving a candy bar at them, talking to them like a dog? Have you ever seriously witnessed that in your entire life? Hopefully you reported that as child abuse, because that's obviously not how someone uses them properly. I'm willing to bet you didn't see anything even remotely like that, though. Do you piss in the Cheerios of parents who "drag their kid behind them" while holding their hand, too?

IamSheaMc

actually my post about my grandmother was in response to the poster claiming her grandmother never lost a child, how the hell would she know. quite frankly no one gives a **** what her grandmother or my grandmother did. We are talking about what people do now.

70+ years ago when my grandmother started having kids people did a whole lot of things that we don't consider doing now, things change, parenting advice changes, as long as the child is not being harmed then I am pressed to see how this is even an issue?

You sound so angry using all those stars, are you feeling guilty for strapping up your child in public and dragging him/her around like a pet? If not you wouldn't sound so hurt in your posts.
How would I know my grandmother never lost a child? Hmmm idk maybe it's my family and I live close to my mother and we all talk and I've heard stories none of which includes my mother or her siblings "escaping" and heading for the hills. Smh

My grandmother is in her 60s and had kids in her 20s so that some 40 years ago.(nice job on the math lol). How funny is it that parents that lead or drag their kids by a cord I mean leash can compare it to ok well dont use a crib or carseat, which makes no sense. They also say you have only raised one child you can say anything, I then replied my grandmother raised 3 without a string attached and they didn't run into danger(fact not BS).... Instead of going with an intelligent argument it got turned into " my grandmother raised 13 so I guess she is better" you all keep using the word " you think you're better because you don't agree" Is it guilt? Because I never said I was better or my grandmother was.

You can use any argument to defend dragging your child around on a connecting cord like a poppet
But I can't use the argument that my grandmother never did it? Interesting..well she's now 60 and raising my uncles 2 kids and I assure you she can't run after them like she could hers and she doesn't leash them up.

JanSmelly

actually my post about my grandmother was in response to the poster claiming her grandmother never lost a child, how the hell would she know. quite frankly no one gives a **** what her grandmother or my grandmother did. We are talking about what people do now.

70+ years ago when my grandmother started having kids people did a whole lot of things that we don't consider doing now, things change, parenting advice changes, as long as the child is not being harmed then I am pressed to see how this is even an issue?

You sound so angry using all those stars, are you feeling guilty for strapping up your child in public and dragging him/her around like a pet? If not you wouldn't sound so hurt in your posts.
How would I know my grandmother never lost a child? Hmmm idk maybe it's my family and I live close to my mother and we all talk and I've heard stories none of which includes my mother or her siblings "escaping" and heading for the hills. Smh

My grandmother is in her 60s and had kids in her 20s so that some 40 years ago.(nice job on the math lol). How funny is it that parents that lead or drag their kids by a cord I mean leash can compare it to ok well dont use a crib or carseat, which makes no sense. They also say you have only raised one child you can say anything, I then replied my grandmother raised 3 without a string attached and they didn't run into danger(fact not BS).... Instead of going with an intelligent argument it got turned into " my grandmother raised 13 so I guess she is better" you all keep using the word " you think you're better because you don't agree" Is it guilt? Because I never said I was better or my grandmother was.

You can use any argument to defend dragging your child around on a connecting cord like a poppet
But I can't use the argument that my grandmother never did it? Interesting..well she's now 60 and raising my uncles 2 kids and I assure you she can't run after them like she could hers and she doesn't leash them up.

A crib = a safe place for a child to sleep
A car seat = a restraint to keep a child safe in the car
A leash = a way to keep a child safe in public

Do you notice the same word in all of those things?

My grandmother used rope for her 4 kids and your grandmother didn't. It hasn't changed that there isn't one way to parent.

IamSheaMc

A crib = a safe place for a child to sleep while I am not in the room
A car seat = a restraint to keep a child safe in the car while I am driving and not able to hold them
A leash = a way to keep my child close while I concentrate on other things and they roll around on the ground in public

My grandmother used rope for her 4 kids. It seems that like today our grandparents used a variety of methods to keep children safe.

There you go! I totally agree

rextcat

:huh: since were on the subject of what our grandmothers did, mine(now 87 started having them at 16) raised 6 by herself(well she did get the $2.50 a week in child support(not that much even for the lat 50's early 60's) worked full time used a rope to teather her small kids to her, and beat the piss out of the older ones to get them to stay in line...... suprizeingly they all are grown 3 are doctors 1 is a teacher 1 is a newspaper editor,1 is an artist and have grand kids of their own now and have her come stay with them regularly so yeah for our grandmas!! :bigsmile:


come on people there is no one way or right way to parent there is what ever way works for you and your kids

DoingitWell

This!

First off .. it's not a leash! it's called a safety harness! And many children with different types of disabilities need them for their own safely, how dare anyone make a joke off such a serious topic. And God forbid if ever the day comes when a child of your own may need a harness for their protection.I have an autistic and nonverbal child who is almost four, and she does not understand verbal commands like other children when we are in a public area with lots of ppl and traffic she does not understand in any form what so ever danger or even the word NO STOP! having the option to harness your child does not in any way shape or form make anyone a bad parent and the ignorance I've read on this thread is shameful.

Thanks for posting.