Open Relationships?

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  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    IMO sex is just NOT sex. I could never have sex with anyone that I didn't love or at least care about. But if you think it's what you want to do then go for it. I do agree it's cheating with permission. And what happens when he finds out he likes someone more than you because the sex is better? or even you for that matter.

    That last sentence completely contradicted your entire statement. That right there says sex is just sex. If, as you say at the beginning of your statement, you could never have sex with anyone that you didn't love or care about why would it matter if the sex with someone else is mind blowing and more awesome than anything you've ever had? If sex isn't just sex then it shouldn't matter how good it is with someone else because it's you they care about and want to be with.

    And for the record sex is just sex. It's a feeling. There doesn't have to be any other emotions involved aside from being incredibly turned on by someone you find attractive.

    And it's NOT cheating with permission because cheating involves going behind someone's back and starting a relationship with someone else. This is just f*cking the crap out of another person with the consent and participation of your SO.
  • sparkle1908
    sparkle1908 Posts: 16 Member
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    Like everything else that goes on in other people's bedroom, you can do whatever you want...I just don't need to know about it...I'm not in an open relationship but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to one later...I would just keep my business to myself (and my mate)...no one needs to know...when you ask opinions, you invite folks into something that they should be kept out of...that's all
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I can't see the point in being married if you're both going to be sleeping around, but that's just my opinion
  • jiddu17
    jiddu17 Posts: 187 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • cindyhoney2
    cindyhoney2 Posts: 603 Member
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    I guess open relationships have never really made sense to me. it's like cheating with permission :noway:

    This. I know someone that is married and has an open relationship. They recently separated. It doesn't work, try something else. I've been with my husband for 20 years and if we can spice up our sex life w/o other individuals so can you.
  • gabeej
    gabeej Posts: 45
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    I have one, it works really well for us. There are obviously specific challenges that come along with it, but to give you an indicator of how we operate, my significant other and I have been together 5 years, and we've had 3 actual arguments.

    HONESTY

    LOVE

    RESPECT

    SELF CARE

    by self care, I mean, you have to deal with your own stuff, you can't put jealousy on your significant other, if it comes out of your insecurities. Basically, you have to deal with your own stuff.

    Different things work for different relationships. No 2 relationships are the same. Find what works, and surround yourself in love. It'll come together naturally.
  • StormyGal8
    StormyGal8 Posts: 184 Member
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    I like to believe that the life we've commited to building together is more important than him "liking" someone more. Just because we aren't mono doesn't mean we don't take our commitments seriously. If it turned out that he wanted to be with her more, why would I want to stop the person I love from being happy? Would it hurt? **** yes, it would suck so bad, but he coudl find someone he "liked better" even if we were mono.


    THIS!!

    My husband is not more likely to leave me, just because he can sleep with other people! If he stops loving me, and falls for someone else, that's going to happen regardless of an open/closed relationship status! Really, how many monogamous married couples have broken up due to 1 spouse falling for another person? To claim it's more likely to happen because we are open is just ludicrous!
  • ilikepandasyay
    ilikepandasyay Posts: 96 Member
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    I guess open relationships have never really made sense to me. it's like cheating with permission :noway:

    This. I know someone that is married and has an open relationship. They recently separated. It doesn't work, try something else. I've been with my husband for 20 years and if we can spice up our sex life w/o other individuals so can you.

    I'm pretty sure in instances where this happens, it wasn't just the open relationship messing things up. If it were no one would split up, fixing it would be as simple as going back to monogamy and living happily ever after.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    I guess open relationships have never really made sense to me. it's like cheating with permission :noway:

    This. I know someone that is married and has an open relationship. They recently separated. It doesn't work, try something else. I've been with my husband for 20 years and if we can spice up our sex life w/o other individuals so can you.

    That's just an instance where it didn't work. You don't know what was going on behind closed doors that made it not work. It might have had nothing to do with the open relationship. Even if your friend told you it was because of the open relationship that's her view on it. There's three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. Yes, it might not work for some people but there are also other reasons why things don't work. Reasons you're not aware of.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I guess open relationships have never really made sense to me. it's like cheating with permission :noway:

    This. I know someone that is married and has an open relationship. They recently separated. It doesn't work, try something else. I've been with my husband for 20 years and if we can spice up our sex life w/o other individuals so can you.
    I know someone who was monogamous and they got a divorce. That proves monogamy doesn't work?
  • StormyGal8
    StormyGal8 Posts: 184 Member
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    And it's NOT cheating with permission because cheating involves going behind someone's back and starting a relationship with someone else. This is just f*cking the crap out of another person with the consent and participation of your SO.

    I LOVE THIS! LMAO!!

    I know for some open relationships, there is more to it than this...in mine though, this is what it's all about, minus the participation (at least on an active level...he participates by knowing, and enabling).
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    I couldn't do it because I know I might end up having feelings for the other person. To me, sex is a physical and emotional experience and I couldn't and wouldn't want to seperate it. It feels empty when you don't have an emotional attachment. just my opinion.
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
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    but what if you're jogging and you see an ex standing in someone's driveway and decide to text him that this is YOUR street to jog on?

    Oh sorry, wrong thread.

    lmao
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
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    haha, i went to bed, seems this really took off after i left. Good to see so many that it has worked out for!
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    I can't see the point in being married if you're both going to be sleeping around, but that's just my opinion

    The point is that you husband gets to sleep with better looking women.
    Oh wait,I dont know any good looking couple that swings:)
  • hpettenger
    hpettenger Posts: 27 Member
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    It all depends on your relationship. I've never done it, but have friends that have... and they always stress setting expectations or guidelines up front, so you both know what is okay and what's not.

    A lot of people may have a negative opinion about open relationships, but I think it all depends on you and your partner and what works for you! Good luck!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    I can't see the point in being married if you're both going to be sleeping around, but that's just my opinion

    The point is that you husband gets to sleep with better looking women.
    Oh wait,I dont know any good looking couple that swings:)

    Then you're not looking in the right places. :wink:

    I know dozens of good looking, sexy, hot swingers. Most of them are my friends LOL!:laugh:
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
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    i think its a sin
  • ohmyshysamantha
    ohmyshysamantha Posts: 138 Member
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    I was in one, probably would of worked if he didnt constantly compare sex with other girls to sex with me.
    We had really simple rules. like we couldnt be with each others friends and we had to get tested for std/sti regularly and use a condom with everyone but each other.
  • gogoganja
    gogoganja Posts: 10
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    Communication - realizing what to communicate about and what not to. As much as some people say they want an open relationship, they're generally one sided in their thinking. I know several situations where it works out well, but, they've been around a while, they know what they're getting into. If you and your partner decide you want this and things begin to change - you both need to acknowledge it and communicate.

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