Open Relationships?
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no... no... no... and no...
Edited to add: My marriage vowels said "forsaking all others" it was pretty cut and dry... also talked about cherishing, respecting, honoring... no this "lifestyle" isn't for everyone
Yes and the bible, marriage and other social constructs are all man made.
Lets get down to the primal, natural and animalistic nature of who and what humans really are.
The newspapers are also "man made" but people believe what's printed there...0 -
It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.
:laugh: I guess my husband and I are way too immature for that kind of a relationship. We are VERY attached, and sex isn't just sex to us. It's how we communicate and relate as a bonded pair. It's not for sharing...Selfish of us, I know! :smooched:
Same here...
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I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.
But really, in any relationship where one or both parties has slept with someone before...this is something that could be possible anyway. Maybe my previous partner was WAY better...maybe his was...KWIM? This isn't an issue JUST within open relationships.
Yes but its not while he is committed to me. I mean if you could do it more power to you, but me personally I couldn't. Once we got married it was only to each other and i just wouldn't be able to handle him having sex with anyone else. Hell even if i seen him kissing someone else it would kill me.0 -
I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.
But really, in any relationship where one or both parties has slept with someone before...this is something that could be possible anyway. Maybe my previous partner was WAY better...maybe his was...KWIM? This isn't an issue JUST within open relationships.
Yes but its not while he is committed to me. I mean if you could do it more power to you, but me personally I couldn't. Once we got married it was only to each other and i just wouldn't be able to handle him having sex with anyone else. Hell even if i seen him kissing someone else it would kill me.
It would me too.
I also feel that I have way better sex in a long term relationship than with a quickie or FWB type of situation. I'm just more comfortable with the person.
I can see where most guys can orgasm with most women they have sex with....I don't know if that's true for women. Atleast for me it takes more for me to be comfortable with somebody...so I don't see why I would want to go elsewhere, I don't think it would be better than what I have at home.0 -
I am nowhere near judgmental about anything.
Neither my wife nor I could handle an open relationship due to significant infidelities by our former partners, but wish the best of luck and fabulous adventures to those that can.
Take pics and share with the crew...0 -
My wife and I have those "total connection" type sessions, but we also have those "get yours and I'll get mine so we can sleep better" nights. Sometimes it's lovemaking, sometimes it's just sex....
:laugh: I guess my husband and I are way too immature for that kind of a relationship. We are VERY attached, and sex isn't just sex to us. It's how we communicate and relate as a bonded pair. It's not for sharing...Selfish of us, I know! :smooched:It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.0 -
I find it funny that people in mongamous relationships look down their nose at alternative lifestyles, but the divorce rate in traditional marriage is above 50% now days.
It is way lower in Polyamorous and Polyagamist relationships...................
Things that make you go hmmmmmm
I think you're making a very broad generalization here. Marriages end for several reasons, not exclusively sexual ones. Marriages also succeed for several reasons, not exclusively sexual ones.
Your logic is a bit flawed because your comparing the success/failure rate of marriage based exclusively on one variable i.e. open or closed relationships. It's not statistically valid.
Like I said...every couple has their definition of intimacy and comfort. There is no right or wrong answer here.0 -
If it works for you HELL YEAH! Why not do what makes you happy and closer with your partner. As for myself and the wife. No. I'm not against it by any means but just not for her and I. Keep the good times rolling people.0
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I don't think I could personally do it but I support those who think they can. You have to really trust a person and not have any jealousy issues. Also, being honest and upfront ALL the time. You've gotta tell each other who you're sleeping with for many reasons especially just to be safe.0
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just curious, swinging isn't for everyone I hate the term but I do love my husband, but sex is just sex, just curious if anyone has been doing it and had it work for a while?
No it's not. Whenever you sleep with someone hormones are released that make you attached with that man. We can't help it! Open relationships just lead to trouble.. Don't do it!!0 -
To each their own. I think you should do what makes you happy. you only live once.0
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I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.
But really, in any relationship where one or both parties has slept with someone before...this is something that could be possible anyway. Maybe my previous partner was WAY better...maybe his was...KWIM? This isn't an issue JUST within open relationships.
Yes but its not while he is committed to me. I mean if you could do it more power to you, but me personally I couldn't. Once we got married it was only to each other and i just wouldn't be able to handle him having sex with anyone else. Hell even if i seen him kissing someone else it would kill me.
That cause when you get married to someone you vow to "Foresake all others" and all that. So having an open relationship would basically break those vows.0 -
I find it funny how people say they couldn't because they are jealous. I am very jealous. But my husband and I are in the lifestyle and it is so fun. "The lifestyle" is a broad definition IMO. We aren't in an open marriage, but we do play around with other couples and I have free reign to chat up/send pics/talk dirty to men all I want. My husband is in the loop about it and nothing is hidden. He actually loves it. I can be with women all I want and when we play, there are strict rules. All we have to do is a give a look and we know we are still within boundaries. He knows not to touch the women. We don't kiss the opposite sex (I can kiss women) and no penis goes in my vagina.
It's hard to explain but it works for us. And we are very careful about it. It brings us closer together and feeds our intimacy. After a play session, we are close than ever. It comes and goes, it doesn't define us, but we love it.0 -
Oh and about kids? We have a child together and by no means does she know what we do behind closed doors PERIOD.0
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It can be a LOT of fun. It can also lead to serious issues in the relationship. If you both are on the same page, doing it for the right reasons and know what you're getting into and why, absolutely. If one of you is doing it simply to make the other happy, nope, won't work.0
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It can be a LOT of fun. It can also lead to serious issues in the relationship. If you both are on the same page, doing it for the right reasons and know what you're getting into and why, absolutely. If one of you is doing it simply to make the other happy, nope, won't work.
Exactly. It has to be mutual. Not one person swaying the other. So.much.communication has to happen as well.0 -
I'm kind of angry at you, too, and I'm not even in an open relationship. You're making it really easy.Again, my opinion. You are so angry about this. It makes me sad.I never spewed or judged. I just disagree.
quite easy, but I don't defend myself because you aren't worth it, if you read my post I was curious about people who have the lifestyle or relationship! Anyone is welcome of coourse but please don't think I asked for YOUR opinions, being on a public board yes there will be everyone, but I am really only reding the people who have the lifestyle or friends that do
Not to be rude, but if you're going to reply as much as you do, can you change your default photo? Not everyone wants to see all that.0 -
Sex isn't always "just sex" There will always be feelings involved, and jealousy, and broken hearts, no matter how much you think it wont happen. If you were to do it, you would need to trust each other completely, and be open and honest about EVERYTHING. But I would really recommend trying to do things to spice up your marriage between you and your husband, without going elsewhere. Good luck.0
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Im sorry I got so involved in this discussion earlier. I was on the wrong page. I thought this was about open relationships not open marriages. All this talk of vows made me realize I have no place in this conversation. I really thought this was about relationships based on love that are not exclusive. Which is why I brought up complicated or long distance relationships.
I see now that im far too innocent and single to partake in this conversation.
My situation is open. Meaning non exclusive but loving.
I think that's ok but I got reamed for it being unnatural as well, even though I don't act on the option to be with anyone else.
Having the option there doesn't mean you will ever use it.0 -
I am way to fat and way to ugly for this to even be an issue. While I'm all for it and would if I could I don't want to see me naked and I'm pretty sure most women wouldn't want to either.0
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That's really no way to talk about yourself.I am way to fat and way to ugly for this to even be an issue. While I'm all for it and would if I could I don't want to see me naked and I'm pretty sure most women wouldn't want to either.0 -
Well, your married right? And you took a vow to forsake all others..right? So, if your a swinger, open, or whatever you wanna call it. It is totally dishonoring the vow you just made. Marriage was suppose to be a single man and woman union, for a reason. I do not believe that sex is just sex either. Everyone gets some kind of attachment to their partner.
Some ppl can handle doing it , but i think it is totally wrong! Not to mention, all the diseases. Did you know that they are 39 incurable stds out there. Iam just shooting facts here. You guys are grown ups, make your own decisions. just think it through. I won't say anymore, because I am religious woman, and I am not gonna preach to you. Good Luck!0 -
Im sorry I got so involved in this discussion earlier. I was on the wrong page. I thought this was about open relationships not open marriages. All this talk of vows made me realize I have no place in this conversation. I really thought this was about relationships based on love that are not exclusive. Which is why I brought up complicated or long distance relationships.
I see now that im far too innocent and single to partake in this conversation.
My situation is open. Meaning non exclusive but loving.
I think that's ok but I got reamed for it being unnatural as well, even though I don't act on the option to be with anyone else.
Having the option there doesn't mean you will ever use it.
Yoovie, the only thing unnatural about you is how H.O.T. you look
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Well, your married right? And you took a vow to forsake all others..right? So, if your a swinger, open, or whatever you wanna call it. It is totally dishonoring the vow you just made. Marriage was suppose to be a single man and woman union, for a reason. I do not believe that sex is just sex either. Everyone gets some kind of attachment to their partner.
Some ppl can handle doing it , but i think it is totally wrong! Not to mention, all the diseases. Did you know that they are 39 incurable stds out there. Iam just shooting facts here. You guys are grown ups, make your own decisions. just think it through. I won't say anymore, because I am religious woman, and I am not gonna preach to you. Good Luck!
for·sake
[fawr-seyk] Show IPA
verb (used with object), for·sook, for·sak·en, for·sak·ing.
1.to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert
2.to give up or renounce (a habit, way of life, etc.).
ALL others...so you gave up your friends, your family, (your kids if this is a second marriage)??? Yeah, I didn't think so. So you can quit throwing around "forsake all others" unless you gave up EVERYONE for your spouse...and if you did, you have trouble bigger than other people's open relationships.0 -
Well, your married right? And you took a vow to forsake all others..right? So, if your a swinger, open, or whatever you wanna call it. It is totally dishonoring the vow you just made. Marriage was suppose to be a single man and woman union, for a reason. I do not believe that sex is just sex either. Everyone gets some kind of attachment to their partner.
Some ppl can handle doing it , but i think it is totally wrong! Not to mention, all the diseases. Did you know that they are 39 incurable stds out there. Iam just shooting facts here. You guys are grown ups, make your own decisions. just think it through. I won't say anymore, because I am religious woman, and I am not gonna preach to you. Good Luck!
for·sake
[fawr-seyk] Show IPA
verb (used with object), for·sook, for·sak·en, for·sak·ing.
1.to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert
2.to give up or renounce (a habit, way of life, etc.).
ALL others...so you gave up your friends, your family, (your kids if this is a second marriage)??? Yeah, I didn't think so. So you can quit throwing around "forsake all others" unless you gave up EVERYONE for your spouse...and if you did, you have trouble bigger than other people's open relationships.
marriage is such an antiquated, archaic and out dated idea.0 -
Well, your married right? And you took a vow to forsake all others..right? So, if your a swinger, open, or whatever you wanna call it. It is totally dishonoring the vow you just made. Marriage was suppose to be a single man and woman union, for a reason. I do not believe that sex is just sex either. Everyone gets some kind of attachment to their partner.
Some ppl can handle doing it , but i think it is totally wrong! Not to mention, all the diseases. Did you know that they are 39 incurable stds out there. Iam just shooting facts here. You guys are grown ups, make your own decisions. just think it through. I won't say anymore, because I am religious woman, and I am not gonna preach to you. Good Luck!
for·sake
[fawr-seyk] Show IPA
verb (used with object), for·sook, for·sak·en, for·sak·ing.
1.to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert
2.to give up or renounce (a habit, way of life, etc.).
ALL others...so you gave up your friends, your family, (your kids if this is a second marriage)??? Yeah, I didn't think so. So you can quit throwing around "forsake all others" unless you gave up EVERYONE for your spouse...and if you did, you have trouble bigger than other people's open relationships.
marriage is such an antiquated, archaic and out dated idea.
I agree and there would probably be many fewer marriages if the government stopped offering incentives to married people. I'm perfectly happy living in a committed (not married) relationship with my significant other. It doesn't mean we're any less committed because we didn't sign a traditional piece of paper!0 -
Ok, this is the dumbest thing i read todaybut sex is just sex,0 -
I couldn't handle it if I really cared about the person I was with. :noway:0
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Ok, this is the dumbest thing i read todaybut sex is just sex,
How is that dumb?
You have never had sex with someone you didn't love...........or hell didn't even know?0 -
marriage is such an antiquated, archaic and out dated idea.
In your opinion. Some of us still find value in it -- and not just based on "government incentive."
If you don't want to get married, don't.. That's a different idea, but not a superior one.
And to some of us, sex isn't "just sex." It's a very intimate, emotional and vulnerable thing. Why would I want to share that with someone I don't love?0
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