How to tell her she's gaining weight...

Ready2Rock206

Oh boy - living life dangerously if you do that! Let us know which ER you end up in. She knows if she's been putting on the pounds.

samblanken

If you tell a woman "Baby, you need to lose some weight." It wouldn't matter what you said to me afterwards, no matter if you were concerned for my health.... if you were going to reward me with a million dollars for my weight loss. You wouldn't be able to speak because i'd have broken your jaw by then.


NOW. That being typed.... there's a way to go about it. And the best way is to offer to do it with her. Offering support is the best thing ever.

Awesome!:drinker:

cheerforsteelers

Like others have said - she already knows. It's about how you approach her on the topic. I pesonally would accept if my guy suggested we work out together or plan better meals together. If you just say hey, you're gettin' chunky then that doesn't work. Volunteer yourself to join her on the journey for motivation. Or support her in some way instead of coming at her and telling her she's gettin' big.

SuperAmie

:laugh: :drinker:

If you say, "Baby, put down the oreos. I know your muffin top is getting Costco-big." you are likely to get served.

Zsanese

Take it from a great-grandma, she already knows she is gaining weight. Perhaps you could could (in as nice a way as possible) try and encourage her to work out with you. Most woman are (over) sensitive about their weight and can tell right away if you are being insensitive about it. So be very careful in your approach.

KodAkuraMacKyen

I have to agree with almost every comment above that she already knows. Telling her what she already knows won't do any good if she's not in a place where she's ready to do something about it either.

IntoTheSky

It TRULY depends on delivery. My BF told me once that "we should both get in better shape". (Not that he had much to work on, lucky *kitten*) He joined in for a bit, then stopped. But, he never fusses about the healthy meals, makes sure to tell me things that he sees moving around and tightening up, tells me my *kitten* is looking good. He came at it in a "we" way, and even though he chose to drop out, has been very supportive and uplifting.

kittyd7015

Won't go into the backstory...but i'll spark the discussion. Ladies, would you get upset at a husband/boyfriend/boo if he told you maybe you put on some lbs. Fellas have you ever said the dreaded words? would you?

it would be so much better to suggest exercising together rather than mentioning the lbs directly :-) xx

LadyIvysMom

Nope. I have toldy husband to tell me if he thinks I am getting chunky and he did. Sometimes people need a wake up call and if you are going to get upset because the person you married is telling you you are not the same person they fell in love with because you've put on some pounds then you have issues. There is no need to get upset when honesty is involved. My husband did. It marry a fat woman therefore I would expect him to be upset and tell me when I am putting on weight.

Whether or not she "already knows it" if she is not doing anything about it and it clearly bothers her SO why should t something be said?

I agree with this. I prefer honesty from my spouse. If I ask him a question about my weight, I want and expect an honest answer.

As for "she knows it", honestly you don't know that. Some women can be in serious denial. I was. I wish my husband had told me I was putting weight on a few months ago. I could have nipped this in the bud before it got worse.

capriciousmoon

I wouldn't be offended and would even like to be told. I often get to the point that my pants don't fit before I notice that I've gained. If I could avoid that I would be happy!

It does very by person though, so you may want to tread lightly. You could also make plans to do active things and eat healthy meals together.

bonster1983

She knows. She will prob be pissed if you say something to her. But honestly looking back on when I started gaining weight I really wish my husband (then BF) would have said something. But I would have been pissed if he did though. The best way is to try to do active things with her and start talking about how you want to be healthier and how you want to be more active maybe she will open up about her weight and bring it up herself.

Kenzietea2

I think it depends. If it is enough to notice, you should say something. There are ways of doing this that are much gentler and kinder than you would tell your best guy friend. Definitely don't say "babe, you're getting fat", unless you want your *kitten* kicked. Most of the time, women know they're gaining weight.

I'd say start with "let's get healthy and start working out together". Whatever you do say, make it about her health and not her looks.

JustJennie1

To everyone who says "She already knows" Are you sure she knows? She might not be aware that she's getting a little on the chunky side and if she is and she's not doing anything about it then why shouldn't it be ok for her SO to say something to her about it? Sure she might get mad but so what? Why p*ssy foot around something like that? If you don't like it and you're not ok with it and you're concerned for their health or you're beginning to not be attracted to them any more then say something.

AdrienneKaren

My response would be, "Yeah. I know, but the fact that my pants are getting tighter makes me want to take them off faster, but not for you *kitten*."

drmerc

Just tell her that she looks festive

supplemama

As someone who is losing 108 pounds, I often WISH my husband had tactfully said something to me about it. He has never said a word about my weight, even though when we met in 1994 I was 120-125 pounds, and was maybe 130-135 when we started dating 2 years after that. January 2012 I topped the scales at 238, and today I am 192.2, goal weight is 130. The more I lose the more excited he gets...I can tell NOW that my being obese bothered him but he never said a word. He always told me I was pretty and our intimate life never suffered, but I can tell he is happy that I am returning to a healthy weight.

Though I appreciate his kindness toward me about my weight I kind of feel that if he had said something to let me know he wasn't happy about it like, 50 pounds ago, I would have knuckled down and gotten this under control sooner. I think I would nicely say something to my husband before he put on 100 excess pounds.

katamus

I thought I just gained like 5, MAYBE 10 pounds.. My idea of myself and the reality are obviously skewed. It was my fiance that said something one day and after a big fight about it, I bought a scale. OMFG. Then I really looked in the mirror. OMFG again.

I realized that if I didn't do something now, I would wake up a year from now and be 100 lbs heavier. That wouldn't be awesome. That's why I am here now.

Even though it hurt my feelings somewhat, I'm glad that he was honest with me because NOBODY else is. And now he recognizes the hard work I've been putting in and appreciates what I'm doing (he's skinny and lifts weights so it's not throwing stones) so that I don't end up like my family (both because of appearance and because of health).

beach_please

Do you enjoy living? Don't tell her. Maybe ask her to join you when you workout...

12skipafew99100

A woman only wants to hear how beautiful she is. Then and only then will she be happy enough to lose it on her own.

wisebadger53

I hate to say this OP, but I really think you have lost your mind brother! :noway: