40+ Club- I'm Dreaming Of A Light Christmas

tron3002

I know this isnt diet related but I just wanted to vent.... I'm not mad, just VERY depressed. Everything feels like it is just crashing down on me. As you all know I lose a total of 30 lbs. Went from a size 12 to a size 4 a 5 in juniors. I knew I was gaining some weight so I put on my size 5's (which fit lose) and now they are tight. Which sucks. But thats not the worst thing in my life.....

What you probably don't know about me is that we have quite a few rentals. Which if any of you keep up with the economy that is NOT the business to be in right now. Not only are the rents decreasing which makes it impossible to make the mortgage payment, but we have a few vacancies along with a few that aren't paying their rent at all.... That makes it impossible to keep up on my bills. BUT that still isn't the worst part....

My brother called my last week. He was going into the hospital for what he thought was pneumonia. They told him it was either a bad infection or cancer. Two days later he had an appointment with his regular doctor and he had to stop and pick up the test results. It stated stage 4 cancer. His regular doctor said she wouldn't confirm this because his white blood count wasn't high enough so ordered more tests. I couldn't really understand him (my brother) because his cell was breaking up and he was still sick but he did say something about it being in his lymph nodes, around his lungs, and his liver. He's only a year older than me. This hit me like a ton of bricks but I held onto the hope that there is a slight chance it could be something else.
Then today my brother was text messaging me. Telling me he loves me and looking back at his life and I was his #1 regret.... He regrets not being able to see me and my family more than we did. I felt as though he was trying to tell me before it was too late.

I'm sorry for unloading all of this on you and I'm not expecting a response. I just felt I should explain because even though weight loss is not my priority right this moment, you all have been great to me. Encouraging.... Inspiring..... And in a way I not only feel like gaining weight is letting me down but in a weird way all of you too...

alf1163

Tron, (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You are going through a lot right now and I can't imagine how you must feel. You are not letting us down by gaining weight, of course not. We totally understand that any stresses in our lives can very much impact our bodies, not only mentally but also physically. I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Does he live nearby? If you can try to see him and spend as much time as you can with him. I will be praying for you and your family. :flowerforyou:

singfree

Tron, we care about you and are here for you no matter what. Don't sweat the little stuff, we'll be here to help you with that later on. Focus on your family first, but please don't neglect yourself either. You need to be strong for them. We're all praying for you!

Check your radar for the wonderful winter weather up here in the Northeast! Many cities are going to get a foot or more of snow today. Tonight's concert is postponed until maybe tomorrow night. That means a concert at 4 pm and another concert at 8 pm in two different towns. Should be interesting. Then I must drive 75 miles to work at 11 pm.

Have a great day!

StiringWendel

tron, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that is going on in your life....most especially your brother's illness. I can't even begin to imagine the impact of such news and his reaction. It breaks my heart to even read it. But please know you are most definitely not letting us down by gaining some weight!!! I feel this is a journey we are all on together and all journeys have ups and downs. We all have experienced both the ups and downs (which is why we're on a site like MFP). In other words.....we understand. Just take care of yourself, take care of your family, and we will continue to be here as your friends whenever you need us, regardless of your weight/size. :flowerforyou:

singfree, I was thinking about you this morning when I read about the snow in that part of the country. Please be safe. It sounds like you're experiencing quite a storm.

alf, don't worry about the weight gain!!!! I know it is frustrating, but I can guarantee those pounds aren't true weight gain. When you go back to eating healthier, most (if not all) of the weight and bloat will drop off pretty quickly.....as long as you go back to clean eating, of course. As you know, I've been roller coasting it now for a couple of months, and I've learned alot about how my body reacts to eating well vs eating not so well. And when I eat not so well, I gain weight very quickly and bloat up very quickly (we're talking within a day or two). But the good thing is I lose that (or most of it) after a couple of days of better eating. So don't let yourself get too down about it.

As far as your leg, I hope you get a chance to see the doctor again. But I also think a few days of total rest might not be a bad idea either.

Welcome imway2fat!

zebras, good job on the workouts! I totally agree with you about how great it is to be able to get to know people from different parts of the country/world on the internet. And, btw, I'm not married to a General. My husband is enlisted (he's a Chief Master Sergeant, which is the highest enlisted rank in the Air Force) and is the senior enlisted advisor to the highest ranking US Air Force general here in Korea (making my husband the senior enlisted representative for the AF here in Korea). That's why we get to experience all of the wonderful opportunities we get to experience. I can honestly say that neither one of us dreamed we'd ever have these kinds of experiences. We are incredibly lucky people, that's for sure.

So yesterday was an off-the-charts bad day for me and eating. We had our big Christmas party last night (Saturday night), and I ate and drank more than any human being should. But I also had a great time, so I'm not going to worry about it too much. Today I'm hosting dinner for seven single airmen....which is kind of a challenge since we don't have our household goods in yet. But I really want to give them a home cooked meal as a Christmas gift since most of them live in the dorms and eat at a dining hall. It's lasagna and calzones for dinner (definitely not traditional Christmas), with salad and garlic bread. Dessert will be a choice of (or a little of both) either an apple toffee crisp with vanilla ice cream or a chocolate/peanut butter chip cheesecake. I've also put together packages for all of them consisting of about nine different kinds of cookies/candies/fudge that they can enjoy over the next little bit. In other words, I'm not doing anything to spread health and clean eating this Christmas but, hopefully, they'll enjoy a little taste of some homemade goods!! I'm really looking forward to this.

I'm hoping to start my last week of Insanity today (if I can get myself motivated)!! I should be done just in time for my new Cathe workouts to arrive. I watched clips of some of these new workouts yesterday. I was a little concerned they might not challenge me enough after Insanity.....but I don't think that's going to be a problem. They look tough. :noway: I can't wait. :bigsmile:

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend.

duffyzmom

Tron: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

ALF: Don't sweat the 3 my 4 quickly dropped and I am more convinced than ever that diet coke is evil:laugh:

My biggest issue right now is not getting the exercise I need to stay sane completed. Luckily the dog has to be walked or I'd be getting no cardio. Our holiday schedule is still up in the air depending on weather in the midwest but I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and this week my goal is to make time for at least 2 runs. Fingers crossed.

Merry Christmas to one and all - I'm sending it early because I'm not sure what this week will be like plus when kids are home from school we fight over computer time.

2BLean

After Insanity, I'm going to go back into a STS rotation with a new cardio series Cathe Friedrich has created to be done with conjunction with that strength training program. I can't wait to get back to lifting weights again. I'll do that for three months and then use the same series to do an undulating rotation (hopefully with 2BLean :flowerforyou: ). So I've got my workout plans in place for the first half of 2010 already.

I'm there! Can't wait. We will definitely coordinate as it gets closer but I am counting on it! I am really excited for Shock to arrive ~ got the e-mail that it shipped out!! I can't wait to visit with you on these as well.

Tron: I am so sorry to hear about your brother as well. I will be praying for you and your brother too. :flowerforyou: As others mentioned, don't worry about the weight ~ that will come together and you will be right on track again.

Singfree: How are you doing in the snow storm?!? Hope all is well and everyone is adjusting. Our area went through that last year and it was very beautiful but at the same time a little scary and well .... a little much at times! Hang in there.

Had a very busy weekend and no workouts but I accomplished a lot for Christmas and all that it entails. Jumped right up this a.m. though to do my workout and it was great. Tomorrow will be cardio.

Hope you all have a great day! :flowerforyou:

singfree

Good afternoon!

Sorry, but my schedule is really messed up when I'm on night shift. We dodged the bullet on Saturday, only got 3" of snow. Further south and east of us got 16-24". The snow really gives us the Christmas "look". There's enough snow to cover the ground, but not enough to be a big problem. 2BLean, thanks for asking about me!

I hope everyone is well...I'll check in later when I am at work (ha-ha)!

Have a great day!

Texssippian

Hi all,
I tried to find my last post and can't believe it has been so long since I posted. I may have started on one and never posted it. Anyway, I'm here.

Tron, so sorry to hear about your brother. You are certainly in my thoughts and in my prayers. The biggest advice I can give you and your brother is to make sure that your brother is an ACTIVE participant in his health care. Do NOT take one person's advice at face value. Question, ask about alternatives, ask what the course of care should be, don't expect people to follow up. Get a notebook with pockets and write down daily what is happening, what the plan is for that day and then what actually happened. Keep all patient instructions in the notebook and write down all medications. Bring all meds to all appointments. It will help put a little control in a very uncontrolled situation. If your brother is far away, you can help him with the tracking and follow-up work. I do this for my mom and did this for my brother-in-law through and after his liver transplant. Take care of yourself so you can help him.

Both kids are home for the holidays and want to eat healthy and exercise. Daughter and I made it to water aerobics on Friday. Hubs and I go to the trainer tonight. So many sweets around work! Luckily, the vendor who used to send the buckets of nasty popcorn (my downfall) is donating to charity instead this year.

Take care all. TxMs

tron3002

Thanks for all of you kind words about my brother...

Tex... That is a great idea, I will pass it along to him. It gets so difficult to remember everything with all the stress he is under that the note book is a terrific idea. Even to just jot down different things he may be feeling until his next appointment.

My brother lives in Southern California and I live in Northern so its about a 8 hour drive. We dont live too terribly far away I just need to get everything organized so we are able to take a trip down there.

String... Do the celebrate Christmas there in Korea.... Well I'm sure they do I was just curious about how their traditions differ from ours. I think it was Japan my younger brother was stationed in quite a few Christmases ago and he was saying they had an "open door" tradition where you just go from house to house (even if you didn't know them) and they would welcome you and serve you refreshments. Can you imagine that here in the states.

Alf... Dont worry about the few pounds, after all it is the holidays where you might have an extra treat here and there that you wouldn't normally have. And if iI remember right aren't you doing a lot better than last year at this time? How is your leg feeling now? Hopefully better.

Sing.... Your near NY right? My older brother is flying out there tomorrow to be with his in laws for the holidays. Just curious if the weather is clearing out a bit.

Well if I dont make it back on here before Christmas I would just like to say.... Hope all of you enjoy the day with your family and friends. Be safe and hopefully Santa leaves you all something extra special under the tree....

Texssippian

Tron,
I've been thinking and praying about you and your brother all day. Do what you and your brother can to take control. Walking into a doctor's appointment with all your ducks in a row will help put the control where it needs to be: with you guys (or y'all). Write down everything. Encourage all of the family to write down everything and be an active part of the treatment team.

Special blessings come when you least expect it. Note them all.

I am here for you. TXMs

singfree

Good morning-evening-or whatever it is!

The bad news is that I am at work and it is now 1:15 am. The good news is that today is payday and we also got our Christmas bonus (they call it a year-end performance bonus as not to offend anyone).

Tron, the weather is fine on the East coast and traveling should be good for your brother.

I hope all is well with everyone!


Have a great day!

Swissmiss

Sigh.....I have been having trouble with my work computer so I haven't been here lately. Got the computer back yesterday. I really should get my home PC away from my daughters so that I can be here in the evenings.

I have not been eating right and have gained a few pounds. One thing that I think I should delete from my diet is the red wine. I know, sing, you say a little will not hurt and I know that it does have health benefits...but.....it metabolizes differently and I really think that it is hurting my efforts.

I am thinking of having my former mother-in-law's chicken and yellow rice for Christmas. It isn't the healthiest and has a lot of calories but it is also soooo good. It takes red wine.:laugh:

My strength and Zumba classes are through for the year. I will probably do some work outs at home. I wish the weather were nice and that I had my bike out of layaway. I would love to hit the bike trail.

Is everyone done with their shopping? I am just getting started. I am only buying something small for my three girls. We are planning on giving gifts when we get some money. Between my husband and I, there were three surgeries this past year. So, we are a bit strapped trying to get the medical bills paid. Without the gifts on Friday, I am hopeing that we will be thinking more of the true meaning of the holiday.

Have a wonderful day. I will try to post again later on.

alf1163

Hello guys, I am still around!! :laugh: My eating is truly out of control...:grumble: It is my fault, completely!!! Cannot blame it on anyone or anything...I will deal with it come January. :laugh:

Glad to hear from a lot of you and that everyone is doing well. Tron, how are you? How is your brother?

I am taking my son to see The Lion King tonight. I hope he doesnt get too scared with the loud singing etc (He is autistic). That is his favorite Disney movie and Broadway is touring here until Jan 3rd. Then tomorrow I am getting pampered before our cruise Sunday. I will definitely try to check in before we sail out.

Hugs for everyone!!! :flowerforyou:

StiringWendel

It's half way through Christmas Eve here in Korea, and I finally have a moment to check-in and wish each of you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday filled with love, happiness and hope. :flowerforyou:

tron, Christmas is a national holiday in Korea (about 25% of the population is Christian), and my husband has asked a number of Koreans if they celebrate the holiday. Their response is invariably a 'yes', but when he asks what they do to celebrate, they usually say 'nothing'. So............I'm not sure what the Koreans do for Christmas. I see little signs it is Christmas at all here except for those places catering to Americans.

singfree, I hope you are enjoying/enjoyed your last night of work before the holiday.

Swissmiss, your Christmas dinner sounds good! I love yellow rice.

alf, my eating is out of control too!! I mean SERIOUSLY out of control. Oh, well. Like you, I plan on getting back on track in January.

One of the reasons my eating is out of control is we got our household goods yesterday!! :drinker: Finally!! My husband is taking great pride in giving me 12,000 pounds of stuff to unwrap this Christmas, but I'm not really appreciating his sense of humor. It appears that most everything arrived safely (we had some breaks, of course), so we're feeling lucky right now. But the house is a mess, and I really want to get it at least decent before tomorrow so that on Christmas night, my husband and I feel relaxed enough to sit down, watch a Christmas movie, enjoy some wine, and celebrate our first Christmas in Korea. It feels really good to be 'home' again.

So, needless to say, I haven't worked out the last two days (though moving in is workout enough......no doubt). But I nearly hugged my dumbells when they came off the truck. I'll finish the final three days of Insanity early next week and start lifting weights again. And, hopefully, in about two weeks, I'll feel up to starting my STS rotation. I can't wait. Hopefully by then my eating will be back on track too.

Again, I wish you all the very best on this holiday.

singfree

Merry (almost) Christmas!

My last night of work!!! In 6 hrs I will be finished until Monday morning!!! A busy day ahead of me in preparation for Christmas. Lots of errands to run and last minute stuff to do. We have a 5 pm and an 11 pm Christmas eve service. My wife plays (organ) at the early service and the choir sings at the 11 pm service. We won't get home until 1 am on Christmas morning. We are making a beef roast in the slow cooker on Christmas...keeping it simple but tasty!

My wish to all is to have a joyous Christmas with family and friends!

Froehliche Weinachten!!

alf1163

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS!!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

FELIZ NAVIDAD!!!! :flowerforyou:

mkwood10

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!!!

As most of you know, I'm in Kansas. They announced yesterday at noon that they were closing Kansas State University (where I work) because of the forecast for today. Well, it's now noon and it has just started snowing a bit here; but I know that there's freezing rain/ice between Topeka and Kansas City that will change to snow later today. They're predicting blizzard conditions by late this afternoon.:grumble: My oldest left Kansas City about 11:00; I will be a nervous wreck until she makes it here!!!

So.........I've been taking advantage of this unexpected day off! I just took 4 loaves of banana bread out of the oven, and the chicken's in the crockpot for enchiladas tonight (strange Christmas tradition, but we always have chicken enchiladas on Christmas Eve).

Weighed myself this morning.......127!!!! Woo hoo!!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: Not bad for Dec 24, huh? Now, if I can just keep it in control thru this long weekend, I'll be back by myself on Sunday or Monday, as both daughters have to work next week. This will be a hard Christmas (already is) for me. In 29+ years of being with my husband, this only be the 3rd Christmas we've spent apart. Talked to him this morning (Christmas Eve about 7:00pm for him) and will call him again tonite to wish him a Merry Christmas as he begins his day. His response will probably be " bah frickin humbug" or something like that!:laugh: :laugh:

Gotta go; headed to the gym with my youngest daughter.....that ought to be interesting!!

Merry Christmas to all..........hope you all have a joyous and PLEASANT holiday! I know that getting large groups together who aren't normally together is a huge stressor - hang in there everyone!!!
Marla

Swissmiss

:flowerforyou: Maria, I envy you your white Christmas. Ours was wet. Lots of rain. We are east of you so why aren't we getting some of that white stuff????

:flowerforyou: stiring, I find it sad that you are not surrounded with Christmas scenery. But, it is the thought and spirit that counts. Let us know more of how a Korean Christmas is.

:flowerforyou: alf, no Zumba for a couple of weeks. Winter break. I soooo miss it.

I made the yellow rice and chicken and of course it was not nearly as good as my mother-in-law's. No one can make it as good as she could, even with following her recipe. One year she sat next to the stove, in her wheelchair, and told me how to make it and it still wasn't as good as if she had made it. I ate so badly this year that I had a stomach ache. Serves me right !!!! My step-son came over and made us baklava. Now, who can turn that down ???:noway:

Our family had decided a long time ago that due to my husband and I having three surgeries this past year that we would not be exchanging gifts for Christmas. We cerebrated in a very true and spiritual way. Very refreshing.

An added note......two days before Christmas my husband lost his job.:sad: I am hoping that he finds somethings else quickly as we can not live on my income alone. He is a hard worker and will take whatever is available. I can just see him, with his bachelors degree, flipping burgers.

My girls will be leaving this afternoon for Kansas City, leaving my husband and I with a few days to ourselves. We are planning on spending a lot of time at the YMCA working off our Christmas food.

StiringWendel

Swissmiss, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband losing his job! What a horrible time of year for that to happen....not that any time of the year is good for losing a job, of course. I will be thinking about you and hoping that he finds somethings soon. I'm happy to hear you had a good Christmas and enjoyed your meal, the company of your family and the meaning of the holiday. :flowerforyou:

mk...you are doing so great!! :drinker: With all you have been going through the last couple of months, I am so very impressed that you've stayed on course and continue to lose weight. My hat's off to you for sure! I hope you had a good holiday, and I hope your husband managed to have one as well, despite being so far away from home.

We had a good Christmas here in Korea. But it was very clear to me early in the day that Christmas just isn't much of a holiday here because the trash truck was outside the house at 8:30am picking up the trash....just like it usually is on Friday morning. So....there you go. But since we'd just moved into the house and had alot of trash, I was actually happy to see them. I worked on getting the house together in the morning since my husband was off at work, and then we went to the dining hall here on base to serve dinner to the airmen. That was fun, though it made me sad to see so many young troops eating alone. I went around with a couple of other spouses and served cider and chocolate to them trying to brighten their day a bit. I don't know if it helped them or not, but it reminded me how lucky I was to be with my husband on the holiday.

Our house is all put together now and it feels like home. :drinker: It feels so good to finally feel settled.

I took four days off working out to unpack everything but got back to Insanity this morning. It felt good to be working out again, and I think the few days off really helped my body. After I did my Insanity workout (Max Cardio Conditioning and Cardio Abs), I decided to do a weight workout just to see how it felt. I didn't expect much since I haven't lifted weights in two months AND I had just finished an Insanity workout. So I pulled out a Cathe Friedrich workout I've been doing for years (Pyramid Upper Body) and my worksheet from the last time I did the workout (this summer). I decided to give it a shot at the weights I was using then, fully expecting not to be able to complete all of the reps/sets. Well, I was shocked to not only be able to complete the workout totally....but with relative ease. In fact, I could have lifted heavier. I think that says volumes about Insanity. Of course, doing the P90X workouts with resistance bands probably played into that as well. So I don't feel like I need to ease back into weight workouts anymore, and will probably start off with a 90 day STS rotation next week. I can't wait! :bigsmile:

My eating has been atrocious, and that's all I'll say about that. But I also have been feeling the ill effects of it, so I'm going to be more than happy to get back to cleaner eating this next week. I know i've gained weight, but I am not going to weigh myself right now since I don't want to know how much I've gained. That would just depress me, and I don't want to be depressed. Instead, I'm choosing to focus on the positives which is that I've managed to workout through a rather difficult move AND the holidays, and that's a big improvement for me over past moves and holidays. That fact alone also is part of my inspiration to get my eating back under control.....that and how I feel physically after eating so much. :sick:

I hope you all are enjoying the rest of your holiday weekend. For those impacted by the recent storms in the US, stay safe!!!

Swissmiss

Oh stiring, I just had to weigh myself. I am up almost five pounds !!!! I know that it isn't on my hips yet so I am drinking a lot of water and trying to clean myself out. Glad that you are settled in your new home. I am going to thank you for all of the relatives here who have family serving. I am sure that you did make a difference in their lives this Christmas.

My girls are on their way to Kansas City. A trip of about ten hours. One of them is having a birthday today so two of her siblings have called to talk to her. I guess they forgot about the trip. I now have only two teenagers living with me as my daughter turns 20 today.